Friday, July 3, 2020

Happy July 4th

This is not really a post as much as it is a simple hello.

As many of you may have guessed I have been away from the blog. Several weeks ago John was asked by his former employer if he would like to return to work on a temporary basis. He asked my permission, and I gave it to him. In many ways retirement has been good, but he misses the routine of working. He misses the contact with coworkers and the everyday challenges that come with being my submissive are not enough to keep him active.

In some ways we have gone back to our old roles as they were before discovering John's submissive needs were discovered. With him working and me having more free time I have going back to doing house work and taking care of the garden. I was never made to be a princess or queen. I like doing things. I like being active and taking care of what needs to be done. Every evening John and I still have our special time to talk where upon he kneels and I sit in a comfortable chair. One of the things that I am convinced of it that it is good for a man to kneel before his wife as least once in every day. Some women hate the  idea of their husband addressing them as mistress instead of by their first name. Yet, I have never tired of being John's mistress and being addressed as such. Even when he accidently uses the mistress word in front of friends or family I take it as a mark of respect.

Thank all of you for the comments. At some point in the not to distant future the blog will become more active again, but for the moment I am not into it. In another sense my belief that femdom blogs should be done by younger women who are more active with families reminds me that my personal beliefs may be out of season. If there is a message in Femdom 101 it is about encouraging younger women to take the lead in their relationships. Men, even strong men, need the authority of a capable-confident woman in their life.

One thought I would like to add to this July 4th post is the importance of confidence. If they want to most women have the ability to lead. The issue for most of them is self confidence. There were a couple of recent postings dealing with this issue. There is also a very short story about a young lady-a college student who wrote to me during the winter. Carol, along with neighbors is expecting me for coffee and specially made biscuits in a few minutes so it is time for me to go. Some time next week I hope to share that short story with you and talk about the comments.

Until then please remember that I love you all. I love you not just for reading, but for having the courage to surrender the traditional manly armor of control to the love and authority of your wives.
This allow you to be more sensitive, more loving and more caring and essentially better husbands and fathers. Once again I would use the term 'new age male', but perhaps that expression has ben over worked on this blog. So be good boys on this fourth. Serve as best you can and as well as you can be the manly pillar of strength that your wives deserve.

Love, Kathy

Monday, June 15, 2020

Where did the time go

While, I can't believe it has been two weeks since returning from Becky's home.

In my absence John did an excellent job of keeping up with the housework and with the special task given to him. He was responsible for painting one of our bedrooms, polishing several pieces of furniture and making one or two small improvements in the garden. Before leaving for the trip, Carole, our next door neighbor teasingly remarked that she would keep an eye on him while I was away. I teasingly responded that yes please do so in that John needs supervision. We then shared a giggle at John's expense, but she has no idea of the degree of supervision he is subject to.

On our first coffee break upon returning I asked Carole if John was a good boy during my absence. At that moment he was in hearing rang tidying up the kitchen from breakfast. The slight blush on his face told me that he was just a little embarrassed, but he also loves that type of 'outing' in front of Miss Carole. And, for John it is Miss Carole. She, of course does not know many of the details of our relationship, but she does know that in our household  John does what he is told. What I have observed in our recent visit is that Becky has become more secure with small 'outings' or what might be descried as public displays of submission. She has become quite comfortable with having him carry her purse. 'He catches a few looks', she told me, but he handles these situations
with a great deal of maturity.

When Becky mentioned the word maturity it gave me the idea for this posting. Yes, in my judgment submissive men who know what they want and need are mature as individuals. Yes, I do believe men mature later than women, and many men never reach the maturity levels of their wives. Yet, many of them do mature and when they gain that understanding of who they are as people make wonderful husbands and fathers. What many people forget is that it takes a high degree of inner strength to live a life style that cherishes obedience and service to another person. And, on the other side of the coin it takes a woman who has the inner courage to take charge of her man in the way Becky has with her guy.

Love you all for reading. Love you all for the comments. What I would like each of you to remember is that it takes a strong man to obey a woman. Be proud of who you are. If your wife has you  carry her purse in the mall or into restaurants do it with pride. Most other man will be envious of you.
Why that couldn't be me they will think.

Love you all,


Monday, June 1, 2020

Back Home and Tired

And, I am back home.

Time away with the grandchildren was nice, but very tiring. How my daughter and her husband keep up with it all I have absolutely no idea.

The other morning we had time to share a quick cup of coffee before the emails began arriving.
Becky was laughing over the story of the governor from Wisconsin, I believe. Her husband apparently attempted to use the wife's position in order to obtain a special favor from a boat launch. According to the story it all backfired causing embarrassment to the governor. If he were my husband, Becky said, the gentleman would be doing corner time every Saturday morning for a full year. From the other room we heard a 'I know better' remark from her guy. 'Yes, well trained he is', Becky responded with a cute little grin.

In any marriage love in certainly the most important of all ingredients. However, coming in only slightly behind love in importance is compatibility. And, in that regard the simple truth is that some men's hippieness and sense of satisfaction with life depends on having a mistress who is willing to take charge of them. If more young people understood the importance of this dynamic before marriage there would be far fewer break ups post marriage.  Most men are simply afraid or unwilling to admit of their need for female authority. As you all know this was the situation with my husband. It was only with the discovery of panties in his gym bag that he admitted to seeing a dominatrix. In retrospect this discovery was the glue that cemented our marriage. Yet, I know that other women would have run, run, run from a man who openly showed signs of submissive behavior.

Many of the blogs I have read over the years tend to merge the idea of being a mistress with being a mother. In these blogs the husband is treated as something of a baby. While I have no doubt that some men want and need this type of treatment it is far from being common with men who are submissive.
While working in studio there were a few clients who wanted to be diapered and fed from a milk bottle, but compared to the majority these clients were few and far between.

The point of this posting is that though submissive men have their quirks they are for the most part loving and kind. With the right kind of supervision they do make wonderful spouses. Yet, from the wife's point of view it does take a certain degree of confidence to handle them on a day by day basis.
Becky is a sweet girl with a loving disposition.  The main rule given to her husband is no matter what happens in the home she is the boss. She will talk with her husband concerning problems, and she appreciates his input. She however, will make the final decision and once made expects her guy's total support. In addition she is willing tp punish him when necessary. From reading the blog you know she has used the bristle end of a hair brush on his bare bottom. She is also a frim believer in corner time as penance for back talking and ego control.

Love you all for reading. Love you for sharing.


Monday, May 18, 2020

Been Away

Thank all of you for posting during my absence from the computer.

I will be away from the computer for the next week or two. The good news is that Becky's' husband has been called back to work. The bad news is that they, mom and dad, needed help with home schooling. Leaving John to his own devices I drove to Becky's home in order play grand mother and teacher's helper.

Hope to be back when this is is all over.

Love you all,


Thursday, April 30, 2020

A Goodmorning Kiss

Here is a very special good morning kiss to each of you.

Yes, where John and I live today is a beautiful spring day. The sunshine puts me into a better frame of mind. Yesterday, however, I was a bitch. In some ways I took it out on John. I had him on his knees scrubbing the grout between the bathroom tiles. It is hard and frustrating work, but it is a job that sometimes needs to be done. As one of my girlfriends once told me it is the kind of work that reminds a man of his special place in the universe. Yesterday was also a reminder to John that a submissive husband must find a way to put up with his Wife's bad moods as well as her good ones. No, John is not some type of plantation slave who could be sold, but yesterday he probably wished that he belonged to some other woman.

One of the little things that I have learned over the years is that sometimes being a bitch has its rewards. In some ways it changes the attitude of those who are around you. This morning I could observe a little bit of pensiveness in John demeanor as he brought in my cup of coffee. There was a sharpness to his curtsy that hasn't been there for the last couple of weeks. A slow sloppy morning curtsy is almost always a sign that a husband is taking his 'slave' status for granted. It is one of those signals that a mistress wife needs to be on the look out for.

Instead of releasing John to his morning duties I put him into Command Position with a snap of my fingers. Yes, I was pleasded to see that his drop to the floor was quick, energetic, and respectful.
I let him stay there for a few minutes while reading the news on the internet. The virus is taking a terrible told on the economy and in the way we live. There are no more hugs and no more kisses except for those whom you live with. I told John that he really did a very good job cleaning the grout and that Mistress was pleased with him. Yes, in my Mistress mode I quite often refer to myself in the third person. It was a little something I picked up in the studio.

Love you all for reading. Love you even more for sharing and for being sweet, kind, and obedient to the people in your lives. I challenge each of you to make the day a little better for everyone you come into contact with. A smile may not replace a hug and kiss but it helps.



Friday, April 17, 2020

Happy Friday

They you my babies for the very wonderful response to the blog.

I hope that all of you are doing well and staying away from the virus. Both John and I wear face masks when we go to the store. Becky has perfected the art of having necessary things delivered to her home. She is working. Her husband has been furloughed, but is hopeful that his job will come back soon. At least they are saving money on gas. In a strange way we both seem to be adjusting to our new circumstances, but I do miss the grandchildren.

As I write this short post John is in Command Position in front of my writing desk. Sometimes I do this in this morning after he brings my coffee. It is a way of demonstrating to him that he remains my obedient slave-loving, but still a slave. Way back when in the coffee shop John told me that he wanted to live as my slave. It took a great deal of courage for him to say those words, but he knew what he wanted and needed. By that time I had worked in Tara's studio for several months and had an understanding of the male need for submission. On that day I welcomed him home. I also made a commitment to him.

The commitment I made to John that day was to be his mistress. Not just an ordinary mistress.
My commitment to John was to be a strong mistress who ruled every aspect of his life. There was a certain fear in his eyes yet it was also something he wanted and  needed.  After what we had been through there was no way of going back to an ordinary vanilla marriage no matter how much each of us may have feared the future. John had his own car at the coffee shop. He followed me home.
Once inside the house I put him in Command Position for the first time. He had learned the command in the studio and responded in the appropriate manner. In some ways I relished this new found power over my husband of many years. Yes, I discovered a part of my secret self.

Love, Kathy

Tuesday, April 14, 2020

Tuesday Morning Thoughts

A very good morning to all of you.

Thank all of you who were kind enough to share. And, a very special thank you to Mistress Diane for her well though out contribution to the blog. As she says femdom is not just about having a husband who does house work, it is about discovering his and her secret self, and the intimacy that goes along with it. Above all femdom is a way of showing love and building trust in a relationship.
In a way this is such a profound statement that the blog could really be closed down here and now without an additional word.  Mistress Diane statements encapsulates the essence of what a femdom marriage is all about.

When we talk about femdom relationships we are talking about love, intimacy, trust, commitment and giving. And yes there is a definite place for pusnishment.  Make no mistake about it, but femdom type relationships have a way of breaking down unless the wife is willing to punsh. Without punishment men have a tendency to louse respect for the wife's authority in the marriage. In a metaphorically way a wife must be willing to wield the whip when necessary. In some marriages the whip is a physical reality. On the blog I have a tendency to stay away from comments related to spanking, but will acknowledge that spanking is an important element of many marriages. From this blog many of you know that my daughter has no issue with using the hairbrush on her husband's rear end. Some men need this form of punishment as a firm reminder of who wears the pants in the relatiosnhiip. Having said that please stay away from comments that feature spanking as this is more of a male fetish than a
necessary element of most femdom relationships.

Love you all for reading. Love you for all sharing. And, please take a moment to give Mistress Diane a  thank you for sharing her story with you.


Monday, April 13, 2020

Monday Morning Get A Way

Thank all of you for sharing those personal stories of being slapped.

What I suspect is that for most men the humiliation which accompanies a public slap may be worst than the related physical pain. Yet, on another level, the humiliation may also trigger a reaction that leads to a higher level of submission. In our conversations over the years John has told me that he had often fantasized about being dominated. It was these fantasies that led him to seek out Tara in the first place. However, the realty of having a mistress made him want female dominance all the more.
It became a never ending cycle of repeat visits that cost him more and more money. In some ways he was ashamed, but he could not resist the appeal of having a real mistress in his life.

In his comment John Dalton shares the story of the very first time a woman gave him a public slap. It was humiliating he tells us, but I wonder if the reality created a need for more female dominance in his life? That is something only he can answer. What I do know is that the need of men for female control is real. What the typical stories get so wrong is that female leadership in the home is an act of love and caring. It is about giving. It is about nurturing.  It is about all of the things that come naturally to us. The whip and chain stories have it all wrong.

Think about it,

Love, Kathy

Thursday, April 9, 2020

A Diappointing Morning

When opening the blog this morning  I was a little disappointed by the lack of comments.

The recent comments have all been very thoughtful. They, in my opinion are the kind of comments that should invite additional responses, yet they did not. One of the things I have learned is that men are extremely embarrassed to be slapped in the face by a woman. Why, I asked John, but there was no real answer. Once, several years ago John was given a little slap for drinking too much. That is when I made the decision to clamp down on out much he was allowed to drink when we ere at dinner or at parties. And, it works. He knows the limits. On occasion he will ask permission for another drink and sometimes it is given.

What I am curious about is how many of you have strict limits on what you can drink when out to dinner or at parties??


Wednesday, April 8, 2020

Staying Home

Well, of course like most everyone else John and I are spending our days at home. John likes to read. We both like to walk in the neighborhood. We keep up with the neighbors from a distance. We will get through this and be better for having had the experience.

John made an interesting comment related to the recent post concerning Becky. In the posting the remark was made that Becky considers her husband as her first mate and expects him to take a leadership role with the children. John's comment was that may be true for now, but one day that daughter of hers will take charge of her father. Yes, I replied, but day is a long time ways in the future. Still, in mind's eye I could see that peppy little girl growing into a young woman who has the confidence and courage to lead men.

Thank you all for the great comments related to religion. A special thank you to Carl for his well thought out contribution. If you have not read his comment please do. And, if you have read it please read it again. And, for Tony, thank you for thinking of us, but because of the references to location I decided not to post. You are a sweetheart.

Love you all,


Monday, April 6, 2020

Start Of Another Week

Why is it that Sunday is the first day of the week when almost everyone believes it should be Monday?? And, if the first day of the week really is Sunday why is it that we refer to Saturday and Sunday as the weekend?? Well, the answer of course is related to religion in that church services should be on the first day of the week rather than the last day. Still, I would rather my personal calendar indicate Monday as the first day.

One of the most controversial posting ever on this blog was related to religion. Some of you may remember it. It is my believe that the family who prays together has a better chance of staying together. Alone those lines it is my belief that upon marriage a couple should closely examine their religions preferences. In a femdom marriage it is my opinion that a man should accept the religious tenants of his soon to be wife and mistress. Being of the same religious beliefs makes it easier to extend teachings to the children. When the parents are of the same faith it serves to reduce confusion and conflict within the family. Most important though is the concept that a common religious philosophy by both mother and father serves as an important foundation for the children.

Aside from bible study in their church Becky and her husband read religious based stories to the children.. Becky picks out the books and at times discusses them with her husband before sharing them with the children. The reason for this is that she wants her husband to be on the same page when talking with the children. She views her husband as her first mate and expects him to maintain an active leadership role in the family. She also tries not to correct him in front of the children. However, one of the points she makes is denying permission for a request is not the same as correcting him.
She has no issue with her husband acknowledging her authority by asking permissions in front of the family. In other words she has no issue with letting the children understand that as a leader their father is still under the authority of their mother.

While I no longer remember any of the actual comments to the original posting they were mostly negative to mixed. Back then  most of the readers were still 'want to bees' in their relationships. For the most part they felt it was wrong for a man to change religion to that of his wife's. How do most you feel about it now? And, for the ladies how do feel about the issue of correcting your man in front of the children?  And, for the men, how do you feel about being corrected in front of the family?  Please share.

Love, Kathy

Saturday, April 4, 2020

Good Afternoon

Here is to another day of isolation.

We talk to our neighbors from a distance. Not too close, not too far. At our home it is just John and I.
It is fairly easy to manage. At Becky's house there is her husband and the three children. Her job is secure and she is more busy than normal dealing with all of the customers. On the hand her husband was furloughs from his job. For what he does there is simply no need in the present circumstances.

Being busy with work Becky has put her husband in charge of the children. Every morning early, before the children wake, the two of them have a short meeting. In the meeting she briefly goes over his plans for the day-home work, house work, and misc. responsibilities.  The system works well she tells me. On most days he accomplishes more than she intended. The children are keeping up with their school work. Of course for the little one there is not much to do. In the beginning she was concerned with noise coming from the children that clients could hear on the phone. After doing this for a week or so she decided the noise didn't really matter in that everyone is more or less doing the same thing.

Once the children are put to bed she and her husband have a late evening cocktail. It is her favorite time of day she tells me. It also gives them another time to talk, catch up on the news, and think about things. 'We will get through this', she has told her husband on many occasions. When he tends to get nervous she has a way of calming him down. This is perhaps one of the reasons why she is such an effective mistress to her husband. She understands him, his needs, his hopes as well as his strengths and weaknesses. The though occurred to me that a true mistress is at their best when things are at their worst. And maybe, this is a line that should be repeated. Lets say it together; a true mistress is at her best when things are at their worst.

In these times of difficulty show confidence in the lady in your life. Show her that you are there for her. Show her your love, your devotion, and your caring.

Love you all,


Friday, April 3, 2020

Good Morning To All Of you..

Good morning my sweeties.

Yes, by the introduction most of you can tell that this posting is for the male readers of the blog. Over the last year or two the women have also been there, but they prefer to email rather than comment.

On the last posting I made the remark that there was nothing really to talk about. Upon reading the post John chimed in by saying it would be a good time to talk about commitment. His exact words were, 'mistress, you were going to talk commitment'. And yes, in the privacy of our home John  calls me mistress rather than Kathy. It took some time to become accustomed to the idea of being called by something other than my first name. In the beginning it bothered me, but really it is like him having something of a pet name for me. And again, yes, as I have no problem in thinking of myself as John's loving mistress as well as his wife.

In the privacy of our home and in fact most places my pet name for John is sweetie. It is a most appropriate name for him in that he is the sweetest man that I have ever met. When I want to be funny or when I want to make a point I call him slave or my little slave boy. Once, I accidently called him slave in front of our daughter, thought about it, and then decided that in front of her it was fine. She responded that same day by addressing her husband as slave boy in a very sweat tone of voice. He was embarrassed to say the least, but he quickly got over it. 

What I suspect is that most of you love it when your mistress wives address you as sweetie, slave or boy or by some other pet name. Am I correct?  What I also believe is that using the slave name reminds John that he is in fact my slave as well as my husband. He is not simply my submissive as most men are in femdom relationships he is my slave and my property and I love him all the more for being who he is.



Thursday, April 2, 2020

Love You All...

Good morning to all of you.

The simple truth is that I have nothing to really talk about this morning. Where john and I live it is a beautiful spring day, and we will go out walking. It is a good time to say hello to neighbors-at a distance- as most of them are also out. It is a time for us to thank the Lord for small favors; the sun shine, the beautiful flowers in the garden, and people whom we love. What I find is that thinking of these things lifts my spirits.

What I have also found is that the shut down has given us time to make contact with old friends whom we have been apart from. Several of us from Tara's old group have now gotten together for  chats on the internet. It is fun. Over the last couple of years we have all gone different ways. It has even been a while since our last Christmas function. Most of them are still with the same guy and are in some kind of an flr. These are the girls who all laughed together and at times who cried together. One of the good things we did on the chat is resolve to all get together after this is over. We also agreed that it would be a girl's party only with no men allowed except maybe one or two of them for service.

It is important to remember that difficult times can either separate us or bring us together. This is true with your children as well as your husband. For the men who read this blog remember to support your wives. Trust in the decisions they make. Trust in their leadership of the family. And, most important demonstrate to the children that you have full confidence in Her. And for the women who read this blog remember that he needs a mistress now more than ever. Femdom is not a face to be put on as if you are playing a game, it is a practical and rewarding way of life. It is a way of expressing love and commitment to that special person in your life. In your private time show him that you are still the mistress. Let him kneel before you. Remind him that his duty is to obey your rules in all matters, and he is to demonstrate that obedience to the rest of the family. He is the first mate, but you are the captain of the ship.

Love you all.


Monday, March 30, 2020

Love You All.

Good Morning To All Of You

The afternoon walk around our neighborhood seemed so strange. People were there, walking their dogs, and talking from a distance, but no cars on the street. It gave us an opportunity to briefly greet neighbors whom we seldom talk with and wish them well. What I have observed over the years is that stress can either separate a couple or bring them together. Sometimes the difference is simply a matter of attitude or a word, a kiss or an I love you at the appropriate time.

On the walk I could see that John was clearly stressed out in a way that is not good for a person of his age. 'My feet are hot and sweaty', I told him. At that moment I could see the glimmer of hope in his eyes. 'When we get home I have a job for my little slave boy', I added. From that moment on he couldn't wait to get home. The hope of foot service for mistress put new spring in his step. His entire body relaxed as his voice grew softer.



Wednesday, March 25, 2020

Love You All

Like everyone else John and I have been spending a great amount of time in our home. We are fortunate to have a nice back yard with a beautiful pool. In many ways we are very fortunate in that we are not dependent on paychecks for money to live on. Yet, dealing with the mental aspects of what is going on has been challenging.

People are almost always asking me for advice. The only thing I can say is to love the lady you are with. Trust in her judgment to lead each of your families through this crisis. Support her. Treat her with respect, and listen to her words. And, please remember that only second to love is your obedience to her. Yes, we want love, but we also want to know that you are there by our sides.

And, if you can brighten her world with flowers or poetry or a gentle kiss then do it. Take care of the children, change diapers, and help keep her home the way she likes it. And, if she allows take the time to kneel at her feet. One reader sent an email this morning that said kneeling at his wife's feet means the world to him. Please remember that I think of each of you as flowers in my garden who are growing in love and admiration for the lady in your life.



Friday, March 20, 2020

Conversations and Friends

Few things in this world go together so well as conversations and girl friends  The atmosphere in the hotel tended to put a damper on our girls trip-but it was still fun to be away for a few days. It was me along with two best friends from high school. We talked and voted. We decided it was time for a girl's trip. In the city we went to it was almost impossible not to trip over the parade of pretty young girls  attending bachelorette parties. My friends bought me one of those cute little vails so that we could pretend.

In one of our conversations a very attractive reporter walked by our table. She wanted to know how we were dealing with all the stress of the virus. 'A drink helps', my friend replied. But really we felt a little guilty about being out there. We didn't want to be contaminated, and we didn't want to give that nasty thing to anyone else. Then, one of the girls piped in with something like why are all the women you see on television so good looking. We were a little jealous of the reporter for both her looks and her age.

The comment made me thing about the femdom type stories that have come my way over the years.
Of course they are made for men, but why is it that the mistress is always so beautiful with the perfect figure. Then I thought about the women who worked at the studio. They were young, not really beautiful, but on the cute side. They were more like the average young women you tend to see on the street or work with in the office. The point is that it is not necessary to be beautiful to be a good mistress to a man.  It is more about personality. It is about confidence, self assurance, and a desire to help people. When you think about it the cruel mistress is not really that mean. After all, she is giving the guy-client, boyfriend or husband what he wants.

In the studio the girls mainly came from two local colleges. It was not exactly planned that way, but once Tara had a couple of students from a certain school they tended to recruit friends. She wanted young women who could honestly laugh at a man when taking him for a walk on a leash or dressing him in a tutu. Before my employment in the studio I had no idea what a tutu was. Yes, we often dressed men in little tutus and paraded them around the studio for female amusement. Tara wanted young women who could genuinely be amused by these sought of antics. The college girls were young and innocent enough that their laughs were not be forced. And yes, one of the things I learned was that men love to have women laugh at them.

My message to young wives who are playing femdom games with your guy-don't take it all too seriously. Have fun with him and treat your self to a good laugh at his expense.

Love you all for reading. Hope this post brings all of you a little job on these dark days.


Saturday, March 14, 2020

Conversations Continued Once Again

I was not going to post this morning, but we will leaving for a trip early next week. Some of our neighbors mentioned that it was not a good time to travel, but you have to be some where.

Yesterday afternoon there was an email from a gentlemen residing in the United Kington. He wanted to remind me that it was approximately one hundred years ago that women were first allowed to vote in his country. He also mentioned that Churchill made some remarks about it. Churchill wondered if one day 'we would have women in Parliament, or may be even a female prime minister'.
He want on to quip that perhaps one day we will live in a nation ruled by women. Yes, the great Mr. Churchill may just have been a little ahead of his time, but perhaps right on target. My advice for all of you gentlemen is to tell yours sons to become accustomed to idea of woman bosses and female supervision. But, don't do in a negative way as it will constitute a vast improvement in their lives.
What I suspect is that most of todays young people will grow up in a world that is populated with women managers so that making the transition to female led home life will seem quite natural for them.

In my next posting-after this trip- it might be good to talk a little more about commitment.

Love you all for reading. Learn to be more appreciative of all the wonderful things your wives and girlfriends do for you. Bring them flowers, write poetry for them, and remember every day to say those especial words-I love you.


And yes, will one of you answer the question about Command Position for the gentlemen who asked.

Friday, March 13, 2020

Conversations Continued

Good morning to all of you.

A little while back we talked about the challenges of being a mistress wife. When John and I reunited after our split I took total control of our finances. His name was actually taken off a umber of our accounts. The feeling at the time was that so called slave husbands had no need to know how much money we had in the bank or how our investments were managed. Dealing with the stock market crash has put all of the pressure on me to make decisions. The advice of the experts is useless. It is always the same-stay invested-it will come back. And, just because your financial advisor is female it doesn't mean she understands more about finances than the men.

In the Dancing Backwards fictional book series the women are always smarter than the men. This makes for a good story, but it is not real life. Those of you who have read the blog over the years know that my John had a very successful career as an engineer and builder. There is no way that I could ever match his accomplishments. Yet, life with a submissive man is not about who is the smartest, it is about who has the personality to lead. In our relationship that is me. John is happiest on his knees at my feet. And, on his knees at my feet or in Command Position is where he belongs.
The world would be a better place if more women could accept their submissive men for whom they are. In the studio Mistress Tara loved to work with couples. Teaching women to rule their men in femdom relationships was an act of pure joy for her.

One of the words we don't use as much as we should is 'Commitment'. On that day when John was allowed to come back home he made a commitment to be my slave husband. He made a pledge to obey me in all areas of our life. The commitment was just as important to me as it was to him. By the time John came home I understood that he needed a mistress in order to be truly happy with his life.
And yes, I needed to be that mistress. For a while I thought about the lady who brought her husband into the studio for kenneling. In a sense she was abdicating her responsibility for being mistress to her man. The women in Tara's training classes had it right. They understood the importance of being their man's mistress and were willing to invest the energy in doing it. Tara understood how to make the learning process fun, but in reality it was an act of love.

When you think femdom relationships think love and commitment.


Thursday, March 12, 2020


There is nothing but bad news this morning. Its going to be another terrible day for the stock market.
A lot of us like Mistress Diane are spending the day at home. It is especially pleasing when women write to me about their experiences with men. Being a mistress to a man can be challenging, but it has its rewards. There is a feeling of intimacy that few other relationships can match. Way back when John confessed his relationship with Tara he excused it by saying there was no sex. What he didn't understand back then was there was an intermate relationship with another woman. What I didn't understand back then was that some men need to be with a woman who is strict with them.

One of the ideas that the femdom books don't seem to get is that there is a difference between cruel and strict. Becky is a good mistress because she is confident, self assured, and understands what her husband needs to be happy in a relationship. She, like mistress Diane is willing to punish when it is necessary. What they both seem to have in common is that they love their husbands. And, please don't forget that love is an important part of any marriage. The simple truth is that some men have an inner need to be kept under female control. Simple techniques such as Command Position or Corner Time work because they let a man know that his lady is the boss.

In a more understanding society women would use Command Position and Corner time on an everyday basis as a training technique and reminder of who wears the pants. In our home John understands that I wear the pants. His job is to keep them washed and pressed.

Like Diane's husband John is presently in Command Position attentively waiting for me to finish this posting.

Love you, Kathy

Tuesday, March 10, 2020


Good morning to all of you.

It was a pleasure to see a comment from Thomas Lvaelle.  Some of you may remember he was the author of the Dancing Backwards series. John read all three books in the series and really enjoyed each of them. The third book of the trilogy is the one which stands out in my memory. It was a well thought out story, with plot twist, and characters that were more than just cardboard cutouts of real people. The characters were a little over the top as they are in most fictional stories, but believable.
This is what made the story so fascinating for me.

In reading over the comment this morning I couldn't help wonder if Thomas's real daughter had been an inspiration for the young lady in the book. The young lady in the story was an adult women, very smart, and a mistress to her man. In the story you meet her mother and father. Her father is submissive to her mother in what could be described as a long term loving femdom relationship.
As I recall the daughter also has a certain degree of authority over her father.

What I fully understand is that most femdom stories are written for men. Yet, I wonder why most of the stories are filled with empty minded characters who do nothing but interact with others in the strangest ways. These stories tend to cast femdom in a very strange, unreal way. They are also a turn off to women who may be seriously interested in learning about femdom and what it means to be a man's mistress.

Be good to your selves, And, be especially good to the lady in your life.

Love, Kathy

Friday, March 6, 2020


This has turned out to be an interesting week for the blog. Thank all of you for the well thought out comments. I enjoyed reading each and every one of them. The comment from Tiptease caused me to think about Becky. One of the reasons she is such an effective mistress is that she has a great deal of confidence in herself. She is a little bit of what people might call a 'disrupter'. She does things her way-the way she believes in. This includes her work life as well as her home life. And, she understands the power women have over men, submissive or otherwise. And, I believe she learned this from home, not from me, but from her father.

Earlier in the week John shared a story related to an incident that happened long ago when Becky was still a teenager living with us. It was habit for John to drive her to dances and parties and such. There was one night when she wanted to stay out later than the usual pick up time. She asked daddy to wait for her-he often brought a book to read-but on this night he was ready to get home. When he told her to get in the car as it was time to leave she gave him a very stern look.  John tells me now that he was more than a little frightened, of what, he didn't know. I guess the correct way to put it is that he 'cowered' under her authority. He was the father. She was a teenage girl, but he respected her as a female authority figure in his life.

Love, Kathy

Wednesday, March 4, 2020


Based on the lack of comments the last postings were of little interest to most of you. Still, I appreciate both of you, Larry and Joel, for responding. You are both sweethearts. Thank you very much for sharing, and here is a big internet kiss for both of you.

One of the things that concerns women about femdom is the role of men in their most important relationship. As Joel describes it he is a Cowering and Groveling submissive husband to his mistress wife. Upon reading this comment the immediate thought came to me was how many women want a cowering, submissive man as a husband. Yet, submissive men have a way a turning themselves into this type of a person. It is one thing for a man to see himself as a follower. It is quite another thing for a man to debase himself as a collared slave who jumps every time his mistress wife waives her hand or snaps her fingers. Yet again, this is the way many men see themselves. A part of it is fantasy, but a big part of it is real. Believe me, I know, because my own husband lives as one of these loving but obedient slaves.

On my first visit with Tara I came into contact with a few of her so called houseboys. These were all older mature men who wore nothing but the thinnest of lacy panties, who bowed and graveled, and  dared not speak unless spoken to. Was I offended by male nudity on that first visit. No, but was I concerned that my husband had become one of these men. Yes, of couse. It took me quite a while to understand how men could act this way. Why would a grown man debase himself in this way, I wondered. The answer lies deep down in their psychic. There is an inner need to serve women, to obey women, and worship the ground that they walk on. After a while I came to realize that there was no real need for me to understand male submissive behavior, but simply learn to live with it and adjust to it.

Living as a mistress to a man in a committed relationship that requires a certain amount of diligence. Yes, no matter how sweet the male partner may be it is still a relationship that requires work. There is always a need for a wife to be willing tp punish. Yes, John was punished for his recent indiscretion.
Many of you will be happy to know that he has since been forgiven.

Love you for reading,


Sunday, March 1, 2020


Just a short posting to thank all of you for the well thought out comments, but especially Sub Guy in Atlanta for pouring his heart out in the most elegant manner. It was really his comment that set the tone for the discussion which hit the nail on the head.

After a while what ever you do in a relationship tends to become stale. It is not that your husband no longer needs your authority it is just that he needs a new twist to it. Also, the emotional cost of staying on top of his evolving need for control can exact a heavy mental toll on his mistress.

In the recent posting it was mentioned that there was a question from a lady who wondered about the idea of having her older daughter in charge of the husband. As I recall it was a second marriage and the daughter was in her early twenties, single, and living at home. One of the reasons for taking this action was related to the stress of always being in charge. This lady told me that the husband responded well to the daughter's various commands.  The daughter being younger and more open to things appeared not to have trouble in acting as her stepfather's occasional mistress. But, as weeks went on the daughter took on more and more responsibility for supervising him.

When the young lady was present  the husband began to wait on her hand and foot. She came to enjoy the idea of having him at her beck and call as well as driving her places and using him as a maid to clean house. What this lady tells me is that the husband quickly came to regard the daughter as his mistress rather than her. While she didn't want the responsibility of leadership, she didn't want to see the daughter supplant her as the first lady in the husband's life. Yes, she had become jealous of the daughter's relationship with the father. What mom tells me is that a certain kind of non sexual intimacy developed between them the daughter and father.

Many of you may recall one of the early posting on the blog related to a lady who sometimes 'kenneled' her husband for the night in the studio. The story given to him was that she had a date with her lover, and wanted him out of the way. The truth finally came out that there was no lover. She only needed time alone and felt that time spent with the mistresses in the studio would do him good.

Love you, Kathy

Wednesday, February 26, 2020


Thank all of you for contributing to the blog by way of comments. Since the last posting John and I have had several discussions related to what we call Rules of the House. By looking at the various sites John clearly violated the Rules. He understands this. He also understands that his actions caused me pain and anguish. It is important for me to be able to trust John. He is my husband and the love of my life. Too many marriages fail because of a lack of trust. Although John was punished it is my hope that the most effective penance was his understanding of the hurt his actions caused.

In the conversation I asked John if deep down he wanted to be caught looking at those porn sites.
His answer I felt was truthful. He was not sure, he responded. A part of him wanted to be caught and punihsed. Since retirement we have put less effort into our marriage. And, femdom like any other relationship requires a certain amount of effort. What I need is for John to show me his love. What John needs is for me to show him control and authority.  In a real sense John has the need to be kept under my thumb in a way that is difficult for women to understand. This is why, I believe, so many women have an issue with accepting femdom relatisonships. We just don't understand them.

One of my first thoughts was to give John lines to write as part of his punishment. In the past this has been an effective punishment in that he absolutely hates lines. On the other hand I wanted something more constrcutive. Becky suggested something along the lines of an essay. She told me that an essay has worked for her. She sat her husband down in a quite room with a paper and pen.
Her instructions to him were simple. 'Write about what happened and why', she told him. Becky told me that the assignment worked out better than she thought it would. Her husband put a lot of effort into the assignment. It gave her a better understanding of his thought process as well as his needs.
She then used the essay as a basis of their discussion.

Men often complain that they have most difficult time understanding what women want. By the same token women have a difficult time understanding their men. It becomes especially difficult with submissive men. Yes, of course, they need control, but how much control? How much freedom should you allow them? Should an older daughter ever be put in charge of them?  This question has again come to me in an email. And, most critical is about trust. How much should you trust a man to be on his best behavior. And, as a mistress wife what is in the relationship for me. 'I want to be his wife, not his mother', is the comment that routinely comes into my email box.

Without going into detail John poured his heart out into the essay. Many of the comment were quite close to the mark. In a sense he felt that I no longer cared about being his mistress. He felt lost. He felt as though his service to me has been taken for granted. 'I no longer cared if the housekeeping was not properly done', he wrote. There were other things, but in essence he felt neglected. Can any of you identify with this? This is an important issue is femdom relationships that needs to be addressed.

Love you all reading my blog. Love you even more for sharing.


Tuesday, February 11, 2020


This far into the new year it is time to close out the Christmas series. It is my hope that all of you found it enjoyable, interesting, and most of all  helpful in your relationships. Above all else Femdom 101 is a relationship blog.  On occasion this is something that some of the readers fail to recognize. As one of my favorite authors has written words have meaning. Use of the right words can bring us together just as the wrong words serve to separate us. When talking with your spouse or partner think carefully before saying things. Just as a big steak needs to be carefully chewed and digested words deserve the same type of respect. The wrong words can be most damaging to a relationship. This is not an advice blog, but if it were the advice from Mistress would be to carefully select your words and chew on them a bit before letting them come our. Also, for the men my advice is to learn to listen.  As your mistress speaks think about what she is  really trying to tell you.

One of the things that I treasure most with Becky is our long conversations. After one of these conversations Becky paid me a compliment that sent my ego into high gear. 'Mom', she said, 'you are a mother, a sister and a friend all rolled up into one person. I was delighted. The compliment made me feel good. If not for our close relationship it is doubtful that she would ever have become a mistress to her husband. I would like to think she learned some things from me, but the truth is she has taught me much. And, as a younger wife and mother she is more open to fresh ideas.

It was not too long ago that Becky made a comment about her husband. 'He is a good man she told me, but he is still a man; and as such needs a certain amount of supervision'. 'Yes, I responded, as I have much of the same belief. As most of you have surmised John has not been punished in quite a long time. By enlarge our relationship works on a day to day basis, and John has become the most loving, obedient submissive husband  any woman could hope to have in her life. Yet, as Becky said to me, he is still a man and as a man requires a certain degree of supervision. My advice to the women is no matter how comfortable you are in a relationship always remember a man is still a man and a certain amount of supervision is necessary.

It had been quite some time since I last checked on John's computer history. For whatever reason I decided to take a surprise look in the days after Christmas. It was after John delivered my morning coffee that I instructed him to bring me his computer. By the surprised look on his face I could tell something was wrong.  Yes, as you may have guessed his history file showed sites that were not on his approved list. Yes, I was angry.  I was angry with him, but also mad at myself for forgetting one of the basis tenants of married life.  As Becky says to me he may be a wonderful man, but he is still a man, and as such supervision is required.

For the last several weeks we have been working through the computer issue. John broke my trust.  He disappointed me. Yet, he is still the man whom I love. As his mistress it is my duty to handle the situation as best I can.

Love you all for reading. Love you for even more for sharing.


Friday, January 10, 2020


Thinking back on things it is interesting to consider the little bits of information you remember from a conversation that happened years ago. Thinking about that bedroom confrontation with Tara's husband  I remember his sweet smile, the gentleness of his words, and the sharpness of his curtsy.
Laying in bed with only a thin sheet for cover I knew instantly that my modesty was safe with this man. Why, I didn't know exactly. I only knew that it was a pleasure having him there with me for company. John was the only man I had ever truly loved, but at that moment in time we were separated. The sound of a man's voice in my bed room was somehow very welcoming. In a strange way his presence filled kind of an empty place in my being.

Over the next few weeks there were opportunities for additional encounters with both Tara and her husband. He had a full time job working at a local bank, but his real love was working in the studio.
He understood the importance of staying out of site from the male customers. He often helped the girls with their clothes. Most of the girls were from a couple of local colleges. They had a way of recruiting one another. It was an easy way for a college girl to earn a little extra money. Some times they would come to the studio directly from class wearing jeans and tennis shoes. They would then change into a skirt, a nice blouse, nylons and heels and fix make up.

One of the challenges for Tara's husband was helping with their hair. Several of the girls were from a minority university, and their hair styles were quite different from the kind he had learned to work with. For her part Tara loved having the minority mistresses in the studio. They often made the best mistresses she once told me. In her words they were less inhibited than the white girls. She also felt that most of these minority girls would one day become mistress wives. Those of you who have read
the older deleted parts of the blog know that John fell head over heels for one of these girls. He became a personal houseboy for her and her room mate. Learning of this episode was a deep wound that took several years to heal, but heal it did.

Thinking about things after John's return caused me to realize that Tara's husband had a lot in common with my husband. Both John and Tara's husband enjoyed house work. They both had what can be called a natural desire to please. Like Tara's husband John is perfectly willing to wait on the women in his life. He has the patience to wait for hours in a café while mistress shops or has dinner with the girls. Both men take pride in their service. Both men fervently believe that everything feminine is superior to anything that is masculine. In their mind and soul they worship what can be referred to as the divine feminine. As a woman not much of this makes sense to me. Yet, as a mistress I have learned to appreciate being placed on a pedestal by the man in my life. It is my hope that each of you learn to place the lady in your life on a very singular pedestal.

What I do believe is that submissive men are very special. They are easy to love. They want to please and with the right type of discipline make wonderful husbands and fathers. Yes, of course, John strayed, but it was only because he didn't have the rite type of discipline in his life. Tara's husband had the rite type of discipline and lived a life that was completely under her control. For the submissive husband accepting female control is a sign of maturity.

Love you for reading.


Wednesday, January 8, 2020


Sometimes I wonder if many of your are tired of reading a blog by a semi elderly ladies about her experiences. Then there is the comment such as the one from JJ that places me in the mood to share.
And, really, sharing is what this blog is all about. Femdom is about love and caring. No man should be ashamed of admitting that he is submissive to a woman. For starters there are many of you. And, what I suspect is that your submissive nature is a sweet trait that is constantly searching for outward expression. Many of you would be so much happier to be leashed and collared by a lady who loves you and wants nothing more than to make you hers. For many of you there is a special lady whom you want to share the secret of your being with but can't quite find the courage.

In the last posting we talked a little about Tara's husband. On that evening when he stood silently behind the sitting area for what seemed like an eternity I felt sorry for him. The next morning he knocked gently on my bedroom door. When I responded with a sleepy yes he replied with a gentle voice saying it was time for me to rise and shine, and that he had fresh coffee and orange juice for me. While not in the habit of allowing strange men into by bedroom I needed the coffee. Yes, come in I told him. He welcomed me with a big smile and a most gentle curtsy. The clients in the studio would often curtsy, but there curtseys were usually big and ostentatious designed to attract attention to themselves. Tara's husband's curtsy was different. It was quick and well practiced with a slight bend of the knee. Not enough of a bend where it would attract attention in a crowded venue.
 Just enough to show respect.

Whiled I no longer remember his exact words his smile made me feel comfortable and put me completely at ease. "May I open the curtains', he asked. 'What may I bring you for breakfast', he asked. We shared some light conversation such as where is Tara this morning. 'Mistress is sleeping late', he replied. Interesting I thought in that he refers to his wife as mistress. After a few minutes I was glad to get rid of him. I had not come to the studio prepared to spend the night. I was hiding under the covers wearing only my bra and panties. He picked up my discarded skirt and blouse from the chair and asked if he could touch them up with the iron. Later I learned that some of the working girls in the studio was quite use to dressing and undressing with his help. On his days off from work he would often run errands for them as well as wash some of their clothes.

It was several weeks later and after a few conversations with Tara that I came to realization of just how happy this man was to live as her husband and as her slave. In Tara's words he was trained to 'wait on' and 'wait for' women, and he loved the world in which he lived. Tara believed that most men lacked self discipline, and it was up to women to instill a sense of it in them. A part of his training was simply learning to wait on her. He waited on her hand and foot. And, as he did while we were watching the movie, he was expected to wait for her. Spending hours waiting was a way for submissive men to show proper resect toward women. 'Don't they hate that', I once asked.
'Yes, sometimes', she replied, 'but it gives them an opportunity to show what good slaves they are' she replied with a smile.

What I would like each of you to do is think about this posting. Think about how it might relate to you and your mistress or wife. Think about how you would feel to be John waiting hours for his daughter to finish dinner with friends. How would you feel to stand respectfully at attention while your wife has cocktails or visits with other mistress wives. Let me know your thoughts.

Love, Kathy

Tuesday, January 7, 2020

Comment Moderation

As an experiment I turned off Comment Moderation the other day. It was my hope that by turning Moderation off it would make it easier for everyone to discuss topics in an intelligent manner.
Unfortunately, it wasn't long before a comment appeared that was totally inappropriate with gross language. Femdom is not an a sex blog nor is considered adult only. While I do appreciate comments please do not use language you would not use with your mother or sister.

Monday, January 6, 2020


Every so often there is a comment that causes me to feel special. This morning is was the comment from JJ. Thank you sweetheart for bringing a little more sunshine into my day, Yes, it was sweet of you to think of me on this Monday morning. It was like flowers for the soul. Love you, Kathy

Sunday, January 5, 2020


Good morning to all of you. Christmas is a special time for both John and I. Not only does it give us the chance to reconnect with our children and grandchildren, it is a time to recompose ourselves. It is a time to think about the spiritual nature of our lives, our relationship with the creator and feelings for each other. Being a mistress to a man as well as a wife creates a special set of challenges. It is important for a man to know that his wife loves him. It is important for him to know that she supports him and provides him with a type of framework for his life. Likewise, as a mistress it is important for him to understand that she is the boss and that her word is law to him.

In a recent comment one gentlemen asked me about the event last summer in which Becky gave John  money for dinner. He wanted to know who told me about the money exchange. The answer was John. That evening before bed we talked about the experience in terms of what it meant for him to be
Becky's chuffer for the evening. He felt bad about taking her money, and for a few seconds resisted her efforts to give it to him. However, he remembered instructions that he was under her authority  and understood that the proper response was a simple thank you ma'am. In that discussion we went on to talk about Becky. In a synopsis of John's words he told me that Becky is such a good mistress because she understands men. She gives David what he needs as a wife, but she also understands the importance of being strict with him. She gives him the discipline he needs as well as punishment when he misbehaves. And, according to John men do misbehave form time to time. There is a bit of children in them that can come out if the wife is not paying sufficient attention.

Thinking about John's response I came to the realization that he was correct about Becky. In her personal life she has managed to bridge the gap between wife and mistress in a way that makes David both her loving husband and devoted slave. And, for the submissive man this is his most natural place in life. It is the place where he can find true contentment and happiness in a way that few others can understand. In many ways she reminds me of Tara. From earlier postings some of you may recall that Tara's husband lived as her slave. Tara told me that she violated the first rule of being a professional mistress-'never fall in love with a client'. In our group sessions we often talked about the importance of balancing the roles of wife and mistress. The general agreement was that it was difficult juggling the dual roles, and that mistakes were very easy to make .

My introduction to Tara's husband came at a late night get together while the studio was closed. It was a rainy night with bad storms. Tara invited a few of us to stay with her and her husband for a chick flick that was then popular with the girls. My anticipation was that her husband would be joining us on the couch. Instead, he busied himself serving wine and light refreshments. When the service was complete he took up a position standing a few feet behind the sitting area. 'Isn't your husband going to join us', I asked. 'Yes, but only as a server', Tara responded. Her husband remained standing silently in a rather still position for the entire movie. He moved only when one of the girls needed something such as a refill of their glass of wine or to transport a used plate back to the kitchen. From my point of view it was somewhat strange to see a grown man acting so attentive to a group of women for so long. My thought was that Tara should at least allow him to sit for a few minutes, but that was not in Tara's plans for her guy. Indeed, I felt sorry for him.

Instead of driving back that night Tara invited me to stay in her spare bedroom. In the morning her husband brought me a lovely breakfast tray complete with coffee and a pretty flower. In case I wonted to take a shower he delivered a set of fresh towels to the bathroom. It was such a nice experience to be served and pampered by a man. The guest bathroom was spotlessly clean. While I did not truly understand the full nature of their relationship it was quite obvious that having a well trained disciplined man as a husband had its distinct advantages.

Love you for reading. Love you for sharing.