Monday, June 1, 2020

Back Home and Tired

And, I am back home.

Time away with the grandchildren was nice, but very tiring. How my daughter and her husband keep up with it all I have absolutely no idea.

The other morning we had time to share a quick cup of coffee before the emails began arriving.
Becky was laughing over the story of the governor from Wisconsin, I believe. Her husband apparently attempted to use the wife's position in order to obtain a special favor from a boat launch. According to the story it all backfired causing embarrassment to the governor. If he were my husband, Becky said, the gentleman would be doing corner time every Saturday morning for a full year. From the other room we heard a 'I know better' remark from her guy. 'Yes, well trained he is', Becky responded with a cute little grin.

In any marriage love in certainly the most important of all ingredients. However, coming in only slightly behind love in importance is compatibility. And, in that regard the simple truth is that some men's hippieness and sense of satisfaction with life depends on having a mistress who is willing to take charge of them. If more young people understood the importance of this dynamic before marriage there would be far fewer break ups post marriage.  Most men are simply afraid or unwilling to admit of their need for female authority. As you all know this was the situation with my husband. It was only with the discovery of panties in his gym bag that he admitted to seeing a dominatrix. In retrospect this discovery was the glue that cemented our marriage. Yet, I know that other women would have run, run, run from a man who openly showed signs of submissive behavior.

Many of the blogs I have read over the years tend to merge the idea of being a mistress with being a mother. In these blogs the husband is treated as something of a baby. While I have no doubt that some men want and need this type of treatment it is far from being common with men who are submissive.
While working in studio there were a few clients who wanted to be diapered and fed from a milk bottle, but compared to the majority these clients were few and far between.

The point of this posting is that though submissive men have their quirks they are for the most part loving and kind. With the right kind of supervision they do make wonderful spouses. Yet, from the wife's point of view it does take a certain degree of confidence to handle them on a day by day basis.
Becky is a sweet girl with a loving disposition.  The main rule given to her husband is no matter what happens in the home she is the boss. She will talk with her husband concerning problems, and she appreciates his input. She however, will make the final decision and once made expects her guy's total support. In addition she is willing tp punish him when necessary. From reading the blog you know she has used the bristle end of a hair brush on his bare bottom. She is also a frim believer in corner time as penance for back talking and ego control.

Love you all for reading. Love you for sharing.



Anonymous said...

I read your stories about your daughter and husband and only wish we had started sooner. My wife didn't really take full control until I retired and I simply adore her for doing it. Much like David it only took a couple of punishments to bring me to heal. Now I also "know better". Talking back is also a biggy at my house, she will have none of it. Stay safe and welcome back-Alan

tiptease said...

Welcome Back Kathy and thank you for sharing

Love Tiptease

E. Holly said...

I liked the comment about the governor. It's really interesting to think of how many important political events have been driven by sex scandals, and how history might have turned out very differently if they had been prevented by marriages that did a better job of preventing male sexual misbehavior. Some very narrow elections in 2000 and 2016 were probably affected by sex scandals (by Clinton and Anthony Weiner, respectively), and it's easy to imagine that if those scandals had been prevented, the outcomes of those elections might have been reversed. My wife likes to joke about how Hillary really should have invested in a good chastity belt for her husband!

Or maybe we could just have a government of all women, and keep the men at home, well-supervised and busy with chores. Might be worth trying for a few years, just to see how well it works. :-)

Danielle said...

Dear Mistress

I am very much into FLR, My wife is a very strict and dominant woman. In our house, all major decision is decided by her without question.

We were very surprised why this years presidential election there were no woman candidate. We were looking forward to a new era of woman in power to manage America and the world. America is in a very messy and kiaotic situation where only a powerful woman could led and manage the whole situation.

Anonymous said...

Now, more than ever, is the time for femdom out into the public. To understand why, just look at the people around you. A major undercurrent of the George Floyd protests is white people literally kneeling and pledging their submission to blacks for their white privilege in a religious fervor. Those same people only two weeks earlier were pledging submission to dancing nurses. June is Pride month and any other year they would be pledging submission to LGBTQ, who BTW must be quite resentful about having been forgotten. Not too long ago, they were submitting to Greta Thunberg who has been forgotten as well. The point is, if you are like me and wear panties to show submission to your wife, you cannot possibly be any worse than these people at any level. At least, in being a femdom person, hopefully you are being consistent in your wife worship and not shifting from one flavor of the month to another.


larry said...

Dear Mistress Kathy,

Thank You again for posting and welcome back!
Yes, children can drain energy quickly, although that's the nature of things and why having children at a young age is important; so grandparents can spoil them !

You hit the nail on the head when You spoke about love being the most important and compatibility coming in a close second. Over time, i've seen many marriages fall apart simply because the male can't understand himself. The dominance and submissive portions of any relationship are fluctuating with time and circumstance; but having those needs lined out and expressed up front can be very important. But, like Your John, men probably kept this side of himself hidden for fear of rejection. You showed both love and adaptability when You became his wife/Mistress and if more guys could understand this need, society as a whole would be so much better and marriages would last a lifetime.


Anonymous said...

One leader to watch is Mayor Jenny Durkan of Seattle. With the George Floyd protests she is walking on eggshells. I think she is being very, very careful to keep things from getting out of control, to avoid violence.


Anonymous said...

Mistress Kathy,

My computer doesn't provide enough information for me to post links, but I came across some relevant articles.

Lucy 83 posted to HubPage, and makes a distinction between Female Supremacy and Matriarchy. Google:

1. Female Supremacy.

2. Matriarchy-What It Means For Society.

3. Dating Submissive and Sensitive Men.


Anonymous said...

There was one time when my Girlfriend was visiting and I was misbehaving and annoying my younger Sister. My Girlfriend told me in a very firm voice to come over to her. She pulled down my shorts and briefs, told me to step out of them and stand in the corner snd reflect on my attitude towards my younger Sister. It was very humbling standing there wearing just a t-shirt but I learned my lesson.

Anonymous said...

It is the woman/wife who makes the marriage work. It is her who understands the man needs direction, control. One of the gifts my wife received from a wedding shower was a large hairbrush. The person who gave her this was an older woman who said her husband learned to listen to her. When she showed me this prior to our marriage I said your not going to use that are you. Yes she said, and on our honeymoon. Sure enough she did, that first night was great, it was the third night that she used it and very well I will say.

Donald Tyler said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Hi, over the past few years We have been following your Blog Mistress Kathy , we have been interested in the number of retired couples who have taken up the femdom lifestyle . We are now retired and we have found that my submission to my lovely wife has enabled us to exist together 24/7 so much easier than we anticipated. Can anyone else comment ? We are interested and all of us on this life style have different experiences. Thanks. D and S NZ

Anonymous said...

Thank You for posting to Your blog. i know that it does take time out of Your day. i did have a question about corner time. i am currently single and i have not been in an FLR relationship even though that is what I am looking for. What makes corner time such an effective punishment? Does it depend on the length of time in the corner, the uncomfortable stance, the thinking time? All of the above? Thank You for Your time!

Anonymous said...

Thank You for being back.

Anonymous said...

the COVID-19 time has been a lot harder on Women than men. As the outgoing, dominant sex who is supposed to go out and conquer a world of Women, conquer businesses outside, conquer the streets, conquer men, Women really felt the toll of staying home. Men might want to go out from time to time but they know they are better off in the homes of their Mistresses, caring for the house, being in the kitchen, changing diapers, doing laundry, steaming and simply being the househusbands or whatever arrangement they have. They weren't meant to go out of the house as much as Women, after all they call it "a Women's World" out there for a reason. That is why boys, double your efforts at pleasing the Women in your family and if you have a Girlfriend, Wife or any type of Female Authority figure at home, if you are Her slave or submissive partner DOUBLE AND TRIPLE your efforts at pleasing Her, obey Her like always and then some. Expect Her to be strict, allow Her to be the Woman of the house leading You where She wants to go in this special time (like always) and understand Her if like Ms Kathy, She decides to be a bitch sometimes. Relish every moment with Her as though She wasn't home all the time, remember you and the home are Hers and only Hers. Be obedient, be pleasing, and accept Her whip, bare hands, bristled hairbrush or whatever She uses on you with grace and love. Remember, let go and be Hers.


Carlondrin said...

I thought that your observation that it takes a certain degree of self-confidence for a woman to take control is her marriage is very true. So many women are worried about pleasing their husbands, fearful of doing things "wrong" or creating problems by asserting themselves. And if there is no agreement about leadership in the home, their fears can be valid. Many women have been taught to take the submissive role, and are fearful of stepping out of that role. And those who are in supposedly egalitarian marriages, they tend to believe that they have to negotiate for what they need and want, and that can create uncertainty and anxiety. So coming from a traditional or egalitarian perspective to a female dominant one can be a scary proposition because it goes against what they have known and been taught. And they presumabely love their husbands and want to take care of their marriages, not threaten them. It is not surprising that women in the early stages of an FLR might be hesitant and insecure in their new roles. But a woman who understands and has become comfortable in the dominant role can be someone for her husband to respect and honor and cherish. That self-confidence makes a difference. But it can take a lot of time and "reprogramming" to develop it. And men like myself who desire to be in an FLR need to understand that and support our wives as they grow into their leadership roles.

I love reading about your own marriage, and Becky's, and others like them because that experience and self-confidence comes out in the descriptions of how you handle yourselves and your husbands.

I absolutely agree that love and compatibility are essential components of a successful marriage. And compatibility in the chosen roles is a big part of that. That is just as true in a traditional male-dominant marriage or an egalitarian one as in a wife-led marriage. For men like myself who have learned that we function better in a wife-led marriage, finding that compatible woman who is willing to assert herself and become comfortable and confident in doing so is essential.

Anonymous said...

As a submissive man I think you are entirely right that it is hard to admit your need for female authority. I did not even realize how this was for me for most of my early life. It actually feels better and more "right" when a woman tells me what to do but it was hard to understand that in myself. It actually gives me a feeling of relief when a woman directs me. It is incredibly deep.

Anonymous said...

As a submissive guy I completely agree with the female confidence issue. I have mostly dated dominant women in my life - not necessarily dominatrix type or BDSM but just pretty in charge women. But my wife was even more so. She seemed to have complete confidence in her authority over me almost from the very beginning. That did something to me that I still do not totally understand. I think I have come to believe that I feel more relaxed taking orders/direction from her than being "in charge" myself. It is a little embarrassing to admit that in some places but she seems to understand it so it works very well between us.

Anonymous said...

As a submissive guy I completely agree with the female confidence issue. I have mostly dated dominant women in my life - not necessarily dominatrix type or BDSM but just pretty in charge women. But my wife was even more so. She seemed to have complete confidence in her authority over me almost from the very beginning. That did something to me that I still do not totally understand. I think I have come to believe that I feel more relaxed taking orders/direction from her than being "in charge" myself. It is a little embarrassing to admit that in some places but she seems to understand it so it works very well between us.

Tony said...

Governor of Michigan, not Wisconsin. She's good at giving orders to her flock, but apparently her husband has not received enough!

Anonymous said...

Ferns (the Domme-Chronicles blog) mentioned a problem for women trying the dominant role. Her confidence being crushed when confronted with disobedience.

So, yes, Ferns strongly emphasized obedience, giving the newbie dominant an early taste of success.

And a woman trying the dominant role won't have any traditions/conventions for guidance. She will, in effect, be experimenting. So men should be prepared to go the extra mile even if her directions seem odd.

Anonymous said...

When trying something new there may be a natural progression. Consider the task of learning to walk for the tiny children. Challenging at each stage-learning to crawl, then taking those first tentative steps... But the vast majority eventually master the skills, because of that natural progression, because Mother Nature has primed us to do so.....

However, I suspect that for a woman just trying a dominant role, the task is more akin to learning to ride a bicycle. There is no natural progression for learning to ride a bike. A woman would be in an analogous position; there are no traditions or conventions for Femdom, there is no support from the culture for women trying such a role.

Actually, the situation is like learning to ride a bike without the benefit of training wheels.

How can men help? One way would be to reward the woman with early success through your obedience.

I see a longer term problem, though. How does a man reassure a woman that he really sees her as the boss? "Love" might seem an obvious answer. However, a man might actually be humoring the woman with play acting.

If you have a sense of loyalty towards that woman, this might be a good time to volunteer that information.

Anonymous said...

I was thinking about Carlondrin's comments. One comment-that she may be insecure in her new role-reminded me of something posted by Ferns (the Domme-Chronicles).

Ferns said that a failure to obey can undermine the confidence of a woman who is new to the dominant role. Make her think that she is a "rubbish dome".

Ferns urged men to support newbies by obeying! Allow her early success in this strange new role, so she can build her confidence.

I would also imagine that it would be helpful for such women if they could receive moral support from a group.

Anonymous said...

I was thinking about comments about a woman being insecure in her new role.

As I recall, Ferns (the Domme-Chronicles) addressed this.

Ferns said that the woman's confidence can be crushed by disobedience. Of course, the answer is for the male to obey. Consistently. Reward her efforts with success.


Anonymous said...

"...pretty in charge women...." I have to wonder if some of these women are pre-adapted. Would they embrace Femdom?