Monday, April 17, 2017

Monday Morning

The last posting was meant to be kind of fun. One of the sometimes problems with this blog is it takes some things too seriously. As long as it doesn't bother a wife having a guy wear panties or pretty little outfits can be a fun thing to do. If he had his way John would go panty shopping every week. Yes, he is embarrassed, humiliated and such to be in the plus size shop, but he loves the feeling of excitement that comes with it. And yes, while I can't explain it, the feeling of embarrassment is a part of his pleasure.

Working in the studio I quickly learned that guys love to be shown off in their prettiest underwear. It was fun to take them around the studio and have them show their panties to whatever female might be available at the moment. From a practical standpoint keeping your guy in panties helps to control his weight and encourages exercise. It has been about a year since one of my 'special' girl friends had a get together. Her husband served the group. She asked if John might be available to lend a hand. Helping to serve lunch and wine for a half dozen women is a 'dream' activity for a submissive man, and I knew that John would be delighted with the prospect.

Men take pride in their appearance. This is even more so when they know that women will be looking at their bare bodies. Prior to the time of John's visits with the dominatrix he had been slowly gaining weight. Tara gave him the nick name of 'jellybean' and we went on a diet. During the years of serving Tara he managed to louse most of the weight he had previously gained. At the time I was pleased with his exercise and weight loss program. Of course I had no idea what motivated him. A part of John's supervision is a weekly weigh in.

As simple and lame as it may sound but keeping a man in panties will often motivate him to keep his body in shape

Love you for reading.


Sunday, April 16, 2017

Happy Easter..

Easter is one of my favorite times of the year. The weather is warm yet the oppressive heat associated with the summer months is yet to come. What I miss about this day is what it was like when the children were young, and excited about the prospect of finding candy baskets in discreetly hidden places. Yesterday I surprised John with a special little gift that was over due. I took him shopping for  panties at the plus size store. This is embarrassing for him but he still treasurers the excitement that comes along with the experience. It is always special when the young sales associate says something like, 'oh, for him', and then proceeds to point us toward the merchandise. 'He usually takes size ten I graciously point out, and then ask if the store has anything cute in that size'. Sales associates in women's stores are more helpful toward male shoppers than with women. We often hear something like don't  feel bad, you would be surprised by the number of men we have shopping here.

I believe many women would be surprised by the number of men who secretly wear women's underwear under their clothing. Once a gentlemen told me it is about how it makes him feel to wear panties. It helps bring our the softer, more submissive side of his personality he told me. He didn't understand it, but it somehow relaxes him to wear pretty lacy things under his male clothing. This gentlemen though of it as a special treat. Women complain that they are restricted by traditional rules of conduct, and are proud of throwing off the yoke of that repression. As I like to tell some of my girl friends men have also been restricted. Why can't a man wear something pretty and sweet. Why can't a man come out and say he likes to be with a lady who bosses him or simply takes the lead in a relationship.

Happy Easter. Thank you reading. Than you for sharing and being a part of the Femdom 101 community. Also, if any of you have not read the April 7th posting on Femdom Think Tank it is really excellent. Mz Kaylee compares femdom to a warm cozy blanket on a cold day. She talks about the importance of being consistent with authority and control. Every women whether in a femdom relationship or not should read her words. Men need a certain amount of consistency from the lady in their life. Femdom is not a game or a role to be played on certain days of the week. What I tell my daughter is that being a mistress wife is who your are. It is what your husband needs. 'Do you feel good about being David's mistress', I have asked her. 'Yes, most of the time she has responded', but their are the time  she feels guilty and then there are those times when she feels put upon for having to be the person who makes the decisions. A couple of the male responses on Miss Kaylee's posting were also to the point. Men are becoming aware of the responsibility that comes with being a mistress. Some of them appreciate it, some of them do not. And, after you read her posting take a few minutes to thank her and share some of your thoughts with her.

Love, Kathy

Saturday, April 15, 2017

Happy Easter.

Thank all of you have been kind enough to keep this blog from being a monologue.

It may surprise many you, but the comment from Anonymous  making the statement that having  John eat pages from femdom magazines as mean spirited was to a large degree on point.
While I never fell out of love with John there was a lot of resentment and anger. Yes, I needed him back in my life, and yes it was important to make sure he understood that I was his new mistress. Yet, there was also this feeling that he needed to be punished. In his wildest fantasy eating pages from a magazine was never something he wanted. It took me a long time to understand the difference between being a dominatrix and a mistress who loves her man.

The episode with the hair ribbon was more about anger. John, I knew, would never had talked back to Tara or any of her girls in the manner in which he used with me. Was my reaction over blown and overly punitive? The simple answer after all of these years is a 'maybe'. A less submissive may have rebelled against a wife who ordered him to parade around all day while sporting a brightly colored ribbon for all to see and laugh at. Yet, John obeyed, and in the end I was proud of him for doing so. The experience also brought us closer together as a femdom couple. It helped to establish me as his mistress and him as the loving, obedient husband we both wanted him to become. That night in the hotel room he knelt and thanked me for punishing him. Based on the positive attitude toward the punishment he was forgiven. The good news for John was that forgiveness meant he did not have to wear the ribbon the next day.

On the days and weeks following the hair ribbon episode John displayed a more attentive more caring attitude toward me. In the studio John was taught the importance of always showing deference toward women. If a mistress was talking to another woman he was taught to stand, wait in silence until given instruction.  He was taught never to interrupt women who were talking and never speak directly with another male in the presence of a woman. In the year or so since he came home from the studio John had gotten away from some of his training. I was lax in enforcing the training he received in the studio. In those twelve or so months he lost much of his fear toward me. The New York experience taught him that his wife's authority was real and that she was a person whom he should respect and to some extent fear. On the blog I have always said that a little fear of a wife or mistress is a good thing.

If was after the New York experience that I came to realize the importance of never taking the training and discipline of a submissive man for granted. If you as a wife make rules for a husband to follow make sure that he follows them. And, as I communicated to Becky, submissive men want to know that you are enforcing the rules. It requires effort and it requires a certain amount of patience.
If the rule is no interrupting mistress and he interrupts make sure there is some type of penance.
For whatever reason women are embarrassed to give their husbands corner time. Why, I don't know as it is the husband who should be embarrassed rather than the wife.

Once again hope all of you have a good Easter. As one taught femdom is not really about punishment, but for a good effective relationship some degree of punishment is a necessity. It must be real punishment such as loss of privileges, corner time or what ever rather than the fun punishment guys want to have. And, whatever one may think of the hair ribbon episode it was not a fun type punishment for John.

Love you,


Thursday, April 13, 2017

Happy Easter

It has been several weeks since my last posting, and at the moment there is some uncertainty as to which direction the blog will take. In the past, after a take down of blog materials, I had been warned by at least one person that he had made copies of all postings. Why would he want that, I wondered, and why would he be warning me in such a sinister type of way. Most of the men who read this blog are very sweet, and very respectful.

Reading the free sample from Amazon brought memories as well as tears back to me. The first take down of the blog material was because of my daughter. Back them there were things that we were not ready to share with her. Since that time Becky has herself developed into a mistress to her husband, and has been made more aware of her family's past. As she slowly developed from wife to mistress wife it was important for her to understand what John and I had going through. Over the last few years we have talked together so many times about so many things that there are virtually no longer any secrets from her.

One of the things Becky understands is that her parents are people, ordinary people, with flaws.
We are people who have always tried to do the right thing, but we are not perfect. Her father made a mistake by seeing a paid dominatrix, and her mother made mistakes in the way she handled things. Never the less we were able to raise two beautiful well rounded children who both have a love of life and a fear of God. Like both John and I our children have a love of family, and care for the good of those who are around them.

As has often been said on this blog femdom is not for everyone. There are, however, men in the world who need the benefit of a mistress in their lives. For them the world works best when that mistress person is also a woman whom they love and who loves them. Being a Christian I still think in terms of marriage, but will admit that is not always the situation. There are very loving women who write to me talking about their boy friends. What does bother me is the exploitation of submissive men for financial gain. The only place for financial control is within the context of a marriage when it is done for the long term good of the relationship.

One of things I have learned is that the male ego is fragile. While men want female control in their life they are afraid to make an admission of it.  Once they admit to a need for female control most men want to keep it private. One of the things that I admire John for is his courage in opening up to our family. He was never really forced to do this, it just sought of happened. And, it is my thinking that more couples should open up about the way they live. Once again this is not about sex as much as it is about a way of life. As much as I love men, and love to be around them there is a certain beauty, a certain type of caring associated with femininity that shows itself in families that are female led.

Living in female led type families brings out certain traits in men that is often suppressed in more traditional marriages. I can see this more in Becky's marriage than in my own. I can see the difference that femdom has made in Becky's husband. He is happier, more relaxed with life and more focused on the quality of their lives than simply making a living. He takes pleasure in serving her. He is also proud to be her husband, and proud to be her helpmate. A little while back Becky shared with me a short story about a mistake she made which actually tuned out for the good.

As the story was relayed to me David's sister and her husband were visiting. The guys decided they wanted a certain type of craft beer which had to purchased from a store in a close by strip mall.
Since David's brother in law was a guest in the house Becky quickly made the decision to pay for the beer. Without really thinking she sent David to the bedroom to get her purse. On weekends and evenings Becky keeps David's wallet in her purse. Seeing Becky remove David's wallet from the purse the sister made a comment as to how well she had him trained. At that moment Becky felt she had absent mindedly made a mistake.  Instead,  David simply said yes she does and the guys went off to buy the beer.

What Becky thought of as a mistake turned out be something of a watershed moment. While the guys were away Becky felt the need to explain a little to his curious sister. To Becky's surprise the conversation went very well, and his sister was very receptive. She even made the remark that David needs that type of thing. Hope that all of you with Christian background have a good  Easter. For John and I Easter and good Friday has become a time to renew our faith as well thank the Lord for all the blessing he has given us. For those of you who follow other than Christian faiths it is my hope that there are also special times of the year for you.

Love you all for reading.


Thursday, April 6, 2017

Through the years of doing the blog there have been a number of ups and downs. One of the things I never dreamed with happen is some one taking my story, and turning it into a femdom type of novel.
I have not purchased the book, but have read the free preview as provided on Kindle. Some parts of this book appear to have been taken word for word from the blog. While John has been changed to Jack the person doing the plagiarism didn't even bother to change the names of my daughter, her husband or Tara. I am in process of consulting an attorney. In the mean time I thought it better to remove all material from the blog.

Love you all for reading. Love you for sharing. If anyone has any specific information please share it with me.

Love, Kathy
Someone has turned my life story into a femdom book. A couple of names have been changed, but in many places entries from the blog have been copied word for word. In response to this plagurism I have taken the blog down.