Monday, March 30, 2020

Love You All.

Good Morning To All Of You

The afternoon walk around our neighborhood seemed so strange. People were there, walking their dogs, and talking from a distance, but no cars on the street. It gave us an opportunity to briefly greet neighbors whom we seldom talk with and wish them well. What I have observed over the years is that stress can either separate a couple or bring them together. Sometimes the difference is simply a matter of attitude or a word, a kiss or an I love you at the appropriate time.

On the walk I could see that John was clearly stressed out in a way that is not good for a person of his age. 'My feet are hot and sweaty', I told him. At that moment I could see the glimmer of hope in his eyes. 'When we get home I have a job for my little slave boy', I added. From that moment on he couldn't wait to get home. The hope of foot service for mistress put new spring in his step. His entire body relaxed as his voice grew softer.



Wednesday, March 25, 2020

Love You All

Like everyone else John and I have been spending a great amount of time in our home. We are fortunate to have a nice back yard with a beautiful pool. In many ways we are very fortunate in that we are not dependent on paychecks for money to live on. Yet, dealing with the mental aspects of what is going on has been challenging.

People are almost always asking me for advice. The only thing I can say is to love the lady you are with. Trust in her judgment to lead each of your families through this crisis. Support her. Treat her with respect, and listen to her words. And, please remember that only second to love is your obedience to her. Yes, we want love, but we also want to know that you are there by our sides.

And, if you can brighten her world with flowers or poetry or a gentle kiss then do it. Take care of the children, change diapers, and help keep her home the way she likes it. And, if she allows take the time to kneel at her feet. One reader sent an email this morning that said kneeling at his wife's feet means the world to him. Please remember that I think of each of you as flowers in my garden who are growing in love and admiration for the lady in your life.



Friday, March 20, 2020

Conversations and Friends

Few things in this world go together so well as conversations and girl friends  The atmosphere in the hotel tended to put a damper on our girls trip-but it was still fun to be away for a few days. It was me along with two best friends from high school. We talked and voted. We decided it was time for a girl's trip. In the city we went to it was almost impossible not to trip over the parade of pretty young girls  attending bachelorette parties. My friends bought me one of those cute little vails so that we could pretend.

In one of our conversations a very attractive reporter walked by our table. She wanted to know how we were dealing with all the stress of the virus. 'A drink helps', my friend replied. But really we felt a little guilty about being out there. We didn't want to be contaminated, and we didn't want to give that nasty thing to anyone else. Then, one of the girls piped in with something like why are all the women you see on television so good looking. We were a little jealous of the reporter for both her looks and her age.

The comment made me thing about the femdom type stories that have come my way over the years.
Of course they are made for men, but why is it that the mistress is always so beautiful with the perfect figure. Then I thought about the women who worked at the studio. They were young, not really beautiful, but on the cute side. They were more like the average young women you tend to see on the street or work with in the office. The point is that it is not necessary to be beautiful to be a good mistress to a man.  It is more about personality. It is about confidence, self assurance, and a desire to help people. When you think about it the cruel mistress is not really that mean. After all, she is giving the guy-client, boyfriend or husband what he wants.

In the studio the girls mainly came from two local colleges. It was not exactly planned that way, but once Tara had a couple of students from a certain school they tended to recruit friends. She wanted young women who could honestly laugh at a man when taking him for a walk on a leash or dressing him in a tutu. Before my employment in the studio I had no idea what a tutu was. Yes, we often dressed men in little tutus and paraded them around the studio for female amusement. Tara wanted young women who could genuinely be amused by these sought of antics. The college girls were young and innocent enough that their laughs were not be forced. And yes, one of the things I learned was that men love to have women laugh at them.

My message to young wives who are playing femdom games with your guy-don't take it all too seriously. Have fun with him and treat your self to a good laugh at his expense.

Love you all for reading. Hope this post brings all of you a little job on these dark days.


Saturday, March 14, 2020

Conversations Continued Once Again

I was not going to post this morning, but we will leaving for a trip early next week. Some of our neighbors mentioned that it was not a good time to travel, but you have to be some where.

Yesterday afternoon there was an email from a gentlemen residing in the United Kington. He wanted to remind me that it was approximately one hundred years ago that women were first allowed to vote in his country. He also mentioned that Churchill made some remarks about it. Churchill wondered if one day 'we would have women in Parliament, or may be even a female prime minister'.
He want on to quip that perhaps one day we will live in a nation ruled by women. Yes, the great Mr. Churchill may just have been a little ahead of his time, but perhaps right on target. My advice for all of you gentlemen is to tell yours sons to become accustomed to idea of woman bosses and female supervision. But, don't do in a negative way as it will constitute a vast improvement in their lives.
What I suspect is that most of todays young people will grow up in a world that is populated with women managers so that making the transition to female led home life will seem quite natural for them.

In my next posting-after this trip- it might be good to talk a little more about commitment.

Love you all for reading. Learn to be more appreciative of all the wonderful things your wives and girlfriends do for you. Bring them flowers, write poetry for them, and remember every day to say those especial words-I love you.


And yes, will one of you answer the question about Command Position for the gentlemen who asked.

Friday, March 13, 2020

Conversations Continued

Good morning to all of you.

A little while back we talked about the challenges of being a mistress wife. When John and I reunited after our split I took total control of our finances. His name was actually taken off a umber of our accounts. The feeling at the time was that so called slave husbands had no need to know how much money we had in the bank or how our investments were managed. Dealing with the stock market crash has put all of the pressure on me to make decisions. The advice of the experts is useless. It is always the same-stay invested-it will come back. And, just because your financial advisor is female it doesn't mean she understands more about finances than the men.

In the Dancing Backwards fictional book series the women are always smarter than the men. This makes for a good story, but it is not real life. Those of you who have read the blog over the years know that my John had a very successful career as an engineer and builder. There is no way that I could ever match his accomplishments. Yet, life with a submissive man is not about who is the smartest, it is about who has the personality to lead. In our relationship that is me. John is happiest on his knees at my feet. And, on his knees at my feet or in Command Position is where he belongs.
The world would be a better place if more women could accept their submissive men for whom they are. In the studio Mistress Tara loved to work with couples. Teaching women to rule their men in femdom relationships was an act of pure joy for her.

One of the words we don't use as much as we should is 'Commitment'. On that day when John was allowed to come back home he made a commitment to be my slave husband. He made a pledge to obey me in all areas of our life. The commitment was just as important to me as it was to him. By the time John came home I understood that he needed a mistress in order to be truly happy with his life.
And yes, I needed to be that mistress. For a while I thought about the lady who brought her husband into the studio for kenneling. In a sense she was abdicating her responsibility for being mistress to her man. The women in Tara's training classes had it right. They understood the importance of being their man's mistress and were willing to invest the energy in doing it. Tara understood how to make the learning process fun, but in reality it was an act of love.

When you think femdom relationships think love and commitment.


Thursday, March 12, 2020


There is nothing but bad news this morning. Its going to be another terrible day for the stock market.
A lot of us like Mistress Diane are spending the day at home. It is especially pleasing when women write to me about their experiences with men. Being a mistress to a man can be challenging, but it has its rewards. There is a feeling of intimacy that few other relationships can match. Way back when John confessed his relationship with Tara he excused it by saying there was no sex. What he didn't understand back then was there was an intermate relationship with another woman. What I didn't understand back then was that some men need to be with a woman who is strict with them.

One of the ideas that the femdom books don't seem to get is that there is a difference between cruel and strict. Becky is a good mistress because she is confident, self assured, and understands what her husband needs to be happy in a relationship. She, like mistress Diane is willing to punish when it is necessary. What they both seem to have in common is that they love their husbands. And, please don't forget that love is an important part of any marriage. The simple truth is that some men have an inner need to be kept under female control. Simple techniques such as Command Position or Corner Time work because they let a man know that his lady is the boss.

In a more understanding society women would use Command Position and Corner time on an everyday basis as a training technique and reminder of who wears the pants. In our home John understands that I wear the pants. His job is to keep them washed and pressed.

Like Diane's husband John is presently in Command Position attentively waiting for me to finish this posting.

Love you, Kathy

Tuesday, March 10, 2020


Good morning to all of you.

It was a pleasure to see a comment from Thomas Lvaelle.  Some of you may remember he was the author of the Dancing Backwards series. John read all three books in the series and really enjoyed each of them. The third book of the trilogy is the one which stands out in my memory. It was a well thought out story, with plot twist, and characters that were more than just cardboard cutouts of real people. The characters were a little over the top as they are in most fictional stories, but believable.
This is what made the story so fascinating for me.

In reading over the comment this morning I couldn't help wonder if Thomas's real daughter had been an inspiration for the young lady in the book. The young lady in the story was an adult women, very smart, and a mistress to her man. In the story you meet her mother and father. Her father is submissive to her mother in what could be described as a long term loving femdom relationship.
As I recall the daughter also has a certain degree of authority over her father.

What I fully understand is that most femdom stories are written for men. Yet, I wonder why most of the stories are filled with empty minded characters who do nothing but interact with others in the strangest ways. These stories tend to cast femdom in a very strange, unreal way. They are also a turn off to women who may be seriously interested in learning about femdom and what it means to be a man's mistress.

Be good to your selves, And, be especially good to the lady in your life.

Love, Kathy

Friday, March 6, 2020


This has turned out to be an interesting week for the blog. Thank all of you for the well thought out comments. I enjoyed reading each and every one of them. The comment from Tiptease caused me to think about Becky. One of the reasons she is such an effective mistress is that she has a great deal of confidence in herself. She is a little bit of what people might call a 'disrupter'. She does things her way-the way she believes in. This includes her work life as well as her home life. And, she understands the power women have over men, submissive or otherwise. And, I believe she learned this from home, not from me, but from her father.

Earlier in the week John shared a story related to an incident that happened long ago when Becky was still a teenager living with us. It was habit for John to drive her to dances and parties and such. There was one night when she wanted to stay out later than the usual pick up time. She asked daddy to wait for her-he often brought a book to read-but on this night he was ready to get home. When he told her to get in the car as it was time to leave she gave him a very stern look.  John tells me now that he was more than a little frightened, of what, he didn't know. I guess the correct way to put it is that he 'cowered' under her authority. He was the father. She was a teenage girl, but he respected her as a female authority figure in his life.

Love, Kathy

Wednesday, March 4, 2020


Based on the lack of comments the last postings were of little interest to most of you. Still, I appreciate both of you, Larry and Joel, for responding. You are both sweethearts. Thank you very much for sharing, and here is a big internet kiss for both of you.

One of the things that concerns women about femdom is the role of men in their most important relationship. As Joel describes it he is a Cowering and Groveling submissive husband to his mistress wife. Upon reading this comment the immediate thought came to me was how many women want a cowering, submissive man as a husband. Yet, submissive men have a way a turning themselves into this type of a person. It is one thing for a man to see himself as a follower. It is quite another thing for a man to debase himself as a collared slave who jumps every time his mistress wife waives her hand or snaps her fingers. Yet again, this is the way many men see themselves. A part of it is fantasy, but a big part of it is real. Believe me, I know, because my own husband lives as one of these loving but obedient slaves.

On my first visit with Tara I came into contact with a few of her so called houseboys. These were all older mature men who wore nothing but the thinnest of lacy panties, who bowed and graveled, and  dared not speak unless spoken to. Was I offended by male nudity on that first visit. No, but was I concerned that my husband had become one of these men. Yes, of couse. It took me quite a while to understand how men could act this way. Why would a grown man debase himself in this way, I wondered. The answer lies deep down in their psychic. There is an inner need to serve women, to obey women, and worship the ground that they walk on. After a while I came to realize that there was no real need for me to understand male submissive behavior, but simply learn to live with it and adjust to it.

Living as a mistress to a man in a committed relationship that requires a certain amount of diligence. Yes, no matter how sweet the male partner may be it is still a relationship that requires work. There is always a need for a wife to be willing tp punish. Yes, John was punished for his recent indiscretion.
Many of you will be happy to know that he has since been forgiven.

Love you for reading,


Sunday, March 1, 2020


Just a short posting to thank all of you for the well thought out comments, but especially Sub Guy in Atlanta for pouring his heart out in the most elegant manner. It was really his comment that set the tone for the discussion which hit the nail on the head.

After a while what ever you do in a relationship tends to become stale. It is not that your husband no longer needs your authority it is just that he needs a new twist to it. Also, the emotional cost of staying on top of his evolving need for control can exact a heavy mental toll on his mistress.

In the recent posting it was mentioned that there was a question from a lady who wondered about the idea of having her older daughter in charge of the husband. As I recall it was a second marriage and the daughter was in her early twenties, single, and living at home. One of the reasons for taking this action was related to the stress of always being in charge. This lady told me that the husband responded well to the daughter's various commands.  The daughter being younger and more open to things appeared not to have trouble in acting as her stepfather's occasional mistress. But, as weeks went on the daughter took on more and more responsibility for supervising him.

When the young lady was present  the husband began to wait on her hand and foot. She came to enjoy the idea of having him at her beck and call as well as driving her places and using him as a maid to clean house. What this lady tells me is that the husband quickly came to regard the daughter as his mistress rather than her. While she didn't want the responsibility of leadership, she didn't want to see the daughter supplant her as the first lady in the husband's life. Yes, she had become jealous of the daughter's relationship with the father. What mom tells me is that a certain kind of non sexual intimacy developed between them the daughter and father.

Many of you may recall one of the early posting on the blog related to a lady who sometimes 'kenneled' her husband for the night in the studio. The story given to him was that she had a date with her lover, and wanted him out of the way. The truth finally came out that there was no lover. She only needed time alone and felt that time spent with the mistresses in the studio would do him good.

Love you, Kathy