Just a short posting to thank all of you for the well thought out comments, but especially Sub Guy in Atlanta for pouring his heart out in the most elegant manner. It was really his comment that set the tone for the discussion which hit the nail on the head.
After a while what ever you do in a relationship tends to become stale. It is not that your husband no longer needs your authority it is just that he needs a new twist to it. Also, the emotional cost of staying on top of his evolving need for control can exact a heavy mental toll on his mistress.
In the recent posting it was mentioned that there was a question from a lady who wondered about the idea of having her older daughter in charge of the husband. As I recall it was a second marriage and the daughter was in her early twenties, single, and living at home. One of the reasons for taking this action was related to the stress of always being in charge. This lady told me that the husband responded well to the daughter's various commands. The daughter being younger and more open to things appeared not to have trouble in acting as her stepfather's occasional mistress. But, as weeks went on the daughter took on more and more responsibility for supervising him.
When the young lady was present the husband began to wait on her hand and foot. She came to enjoy the idea of having him at her beck and call as well as driving her places and using him as a maid to clean house. What this lady tells me is that the husband quickly came to regard the daughter as his mistress rather than her. While she didn't want the responsibility of leadership, she didn't want to see the daughter supplant her as the first lady in the husband's life. Yes, she had become jealous of the daughter's relationship with the father. What mom tells me is that a certain kind of non sexual intimacy developed between them the daughter and father.
Many of you may recall one of the early posting on the blog related to a lady who sometimes 'kenneled' her husband for the night in the studio. The story given to him was that she had a date with her lover, and wanted him out of the way. The truth finally came out that there was no lover. She only needed time alone and felt that time spent with the mistresses in the studio would do him good.
Love you, Kathy
3 comments:
The sentence: " ... the emotional cost of staying on top of his evolving need for control can exact a heavy mental toll on his mistress" makes it sound like it's all about satisfying the John's submissive fantasies. At least the way it is written. It would seem that when he demands extra tasks, punishment, etc. and you are not in the mood for it, he is being very a selfish child, and should be admonished severely for it. While it no doubt would be very humiliating for John to hear that, in the long run it breaks his will down to be more in line with yours. My own wife over the years has told me many things that, at the time time hurt deeply, but she was doing it out of love. Femdom is about love. And because of those things, I have no real will of my own to interfere with her will and what you see in our home is a cowering, grovelling husband who does every thing possible to give his wife the life she wants, even if it is very different what he originally expected. The best part is that I am very proud to be that way.
Joel
Hi Joel,
I think you misunderstood what Mistress Kathy was trying to say. Perhaps i am wrong, but i've found over many years of experience, that staying in charge of another is a lot of work and is very trying over time. Yes, routine and the vanilla life do tend to make things a lot more bland with time and your words about putting the submissive back in his place is well taken and acknowledged as being the right path when She sees this happening. Still, the need for that little excitement is within us and we need that show of dominance.
As a submissive, i've found that i too get bored and need additional attention and more dominance in my life from her. But, not all women are inclined to do that, or be that as much as we may need. With this realization i need to back off on my needs, wants and desires and cater more to hers; even if that means a more bland or vanilla type of relationship. Hope i made sense here. i know what i was trying to say, but doubt i said it correctly
Mention of the studio mistresses brings up an interesting idea-women loaning their men out to other women. This might be useful to these other women.
Perhaps a young woman could get her first test of F/m with such a loan.
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