Sunday, November 24, 2019

Wash Day....leadersship versus dominance

Good morning to all of you.

This is just a quick posting to say something that has been on my mind for a long time. In this blog I very seldom, if ever, use the terms dominance or dominate. For me female authority is about leading a man rather than dominating him. In my opinion one of the differences between being a mistress wife and a professional dominatrix is that a wife tends to lead her man rather than dominate him.
Real life with a truly submissive man is not about dominating him. Rather it is about providing him with the structure and emotional support he needs in order to be happy and thrive as an individual.
It was only after I understood this that I was willing to take control of my marriage, and the man whom I loved.

The simple truth is that many men were not born to lead. It was society that cast them into the role of head of house forcing them into live a life that they could never truly adjust to. It is like trying to put a square peg into a round hole. After a lot of pushing you may be able to get the peg into the hole, but it never fits as it should. At the same time we see women who have had a history of personal  leadership accomplishments deferring to their men in an effort to conform to perceived expectations of what a good wife should do. That is why we see so many de facto type femdom marriages whereby the wife leads her husband in every way, but there is no overt agreement that she is in charge. In fact, with friends and family she may even pretend to be a follower in the marriage. Of course the new age model of relationships calls for equality.

For many couples in modern society the equality model will work just fine. Yet, we know from personal experiences that some men are born with a very natural need for female control in their everyday life. What percentage of men are naturally submissive I have no idea. My guess is that the percentage of men who are born with submissive genes is much higher than anyone would guess.
Among those submissive men are a few that are highly submissve. My husband is a good example.
Many of you who read this blog are also highly submissive. A common trait that most of you share is that from time to time you try to hide or fight off your need for female control. From what I have observed this works for a little while, but most may never be truly happy in a vanilla type relatinship.

What is lacking in society are role models whom young males can openly identify with. There are few if any openly submissive actors, athlettes, or whatever.  Among Hollywood celebs it is almost fashionable to be homosexual or transexual, but never submissive. Why? I have no idea. One of the reasons Becky's husband opened up was that he had John as a role model. Having a father in law as a submissive husband made it safe for him to discuss his need for female authority with Becky. Further more it is my belief that one of the reasons why Becky is such an effective mistress is that she sees herself as a leader rather than as a dominator.

If there is interest in this subject we can talk more about it?

Love, Kathy

Saturday, November 23, 2019

Wash Day...

Thank all of you for the lovely emails and comments.  If any of you have every blogged you will understand that interaction with readers is the fuel that keeps a blog going. The comment was made that there are many so called de facto femdom marriages. These marriages are femdom in everyway except that no one officially knowledges that the wife is truly her husband's mistress. Looking back on things I sometimes wonder if my parents had this type of relationship. It is true that my mother could spend money anyway she wanted. My father wouldn't spend much more than a dollar without consulting her.

Going back to the Wash Day series there is a bit of a cute story that I would like to share with you.
As often happens with Becky's visits home there is an evening in which she has dinner with friends from school. Many of you know we live about an hour from the city across the long bridge. It is not a dangerous drive, but drinking before crossing the bridge is heavily discouraged. I volunteered to watch the children. Realizing that she was planning on driving herself to the dinner, I volunteered John as her driver. 'Mom, I don't really need daddy to drive me" she responded. Well, are you going to be drinking, I asked. 'Why don't you let daddy drive you, it would make the evening so much more relaxing, I offered.

After thinking it over for a few minutes Becky consented to having John drive her. I mentioned that her daddy could find a nearby coffee shop as a waiting place, and she could text him when ready for pick up. She laughed a little and mentioned it would be like high school except back then there was no texting. With her consent I rang John in from the garage where he had been working. 'Baby, this evening I want you to drive Becky into the city for dinner. You can find a place to wait for her, and she will text you for pickup'. 'Yes ma'am' was John's only response aside from what time should he be for. John understood that driving his daughter to the city for dinner, waiting for her, and driving her back was a directive rather than a request.

The cute part of the story is what happened when John dropped Becky off at the restaurant. Becky opened her purse and handed John a twenty dollar bill. 'Daddy, this is for something to eat' she told her father. I have money John responded. "Yes, but I want to make sure what you spend doesn't come out of your allowance', she told him. How did you respond I asked John. With a ' thank you ma'am' as she gave me a little kiss on the cheek.

Thinking about the little exchange of words and money caused me to think about how the world is indeed changing. As head of house and mistress to her husband Becky spends money as she wishes.
On the other hand John as an indentured husband may only spend the allowance he is given unless prior approval is rendered. Sometimes I wonder how men can live this way, but the need of submissive males for female control is all encompassing in their lives. It ranges from control of finances to sexual experiences and even what time they must go to bed in the evening.

As women accustomed to giving instruction to our men there is the potential for abuse. There is a very sad story on the internet about a Boston college student who ordered her boyfriend to commit suicide. She was apparently angry with him because he contacted a former girlfriend without her permission. Granted this may have been reason for punishment of some kind, but all punishments given by a mistress should be constructive rather than destructive. This incident also points out the dangers of one person controlling the life of another where by there is not true love. John lives as a slave husband under my total control. However, he also understands that I love him, and my authority over him is for his own good.

Love, Kathy

Tuesday, November 19, 2019

Good Morning To All Of You

In some ways I feel sorry for the long absence from the blog. Yet the truth is simply that there is nothing for me to say at the moment. There is also the feeling that I have said enough. The future of female led relationships is about the young women of the world who are willing to break away from the traditional restraints and norms related to gender. In every day life women are making positive changes. They are running for public office. They are entering the professions in record numbers.
How these changes will affect the family I have no idea. And, as all of you know Femdom 101 is about the family rather than the work environment.

For the most part Femdom as we know it is related to the male desire for female control of his life.
The idea of the naturally dominant woman is more of a male fantasy rather than a concept that women aspire to. Yet, I do know that form personal experience that women can learn to like being a mistress to their man. It is not just about having a man who keeps the house clean and changes the bed sheets, it is about giving him the type of home structure that he needs to flourish. It is about a whole new level of intimacy. And yes there are millions of sweet, loving submissive men in the world who need a real life lady who has the courage to take control of them.

Back in the early years of this blog most comments were from men who were 'want a bees' in femdom relationships. Looking at the comments from the Washday Series most of the comments came from men who were actually in some type of female led relationship. Over a ten year range this change is significant. Also, I have observed the same type of change related to comments on other blogs. Most comments come from men who consider their wives as head of house. They may not consider themselves 'slaves' or property of their wives, but they do render some level of obedience to them.

What I have also observed from the more recent parts of the blog is that some men render some level of service or obedience to their older daughters. The comment from Thomas Lavalle that he regularly 'picks up' after his twenty five year old daughter gave me pause. It made me wonder if femdom was truly becoming multi generational or if this was more of a fictional comment. Another gentleman sent me an email related to the ways in which he serves his adult daughter who is living with him post divorce. Both the wife and daughter have become his mistresses. What he tells me is that the daughter is more strict with him than the wife. John clearly remembers the first time he used the ma'am word with Becky. It felt like the most natural thing in the world he tells me.

The other comment I would like to make is that femdom is about love and caring more than whips and chains. It is about women accepting their men for whom they are and giving them the emotional support that that satisfies them in a way that nothing else will. This can only happen when a woman truly loves a man. For women learning to appreciate femdom is like learning to like oysters. It is an acquired taste that takes time and effort to develop. Once the taste is acquired it is something that stays with us.

Although I have not been writing I think about each and everyone of you who. Many of you have been able to develop the type of relationships that satisfy your needs. Many of you have not.
For those of you who are single my advice is to reach our in a soft gentle way to the women whom you meet. Don't be afraid to open your selves up. Yes, there will be rejection. Yes, some will think you are weird. Have the courage of your convictions. Be proud of the person you are. Be masculine, but tender. Be sensitive to HER needs. And yes, that HER needs is in capital letters because too many submissive men have a tendency to gush on their needs.

Love you all for reading. Love you even more for sharing. As the moment I am not sure where the blog is going. We'll see.