Over the years of doing Femdom 101 we have tried a number of things to broaden its appeal and maintain interest. The blog has a fairly large number of readers, but few of you find the courage to comment. There is a feeling that submissive men find a degree of satisfaction by staying in shadows where they may be seen but not heard. The idea of the book discussion is to help more of you find the courage to take part in the discussions.
I am so happy that Key Barrett who is the author of Surrender, Submit, and Serve Her has introduced himself to us. I have enjoyed his comments just as I enjoyed his book. As the title of this series indicates John and I are going thought kind of a renewal of our relationship. Key's book is kind of a basic manual for the couple who is new to the lifestyle. While we are not new in the lifestyle, the book fits in well with our return to basics.
There is nothing in this world that is so important to me as the relationship with my husband. He is not only the rock of my life, he is the love of my life. Someone recently made the comment that the blog should be titled, Femdom 101, a love story. And yes, I agree.
It was at mass this morning that I realized why Key's book had an appeal to me. It is because the special stories of our lives need to be heard again and again. How many times have we heard the story of our Lord's journey into Jerusalem. How many times have we heard the same liturgy over and over again. Why do we keep going back for the same story. Because it is important. It is a chance for us to renew our faith, and think about the things that really mater in our lives. The book gave us the chance to think about how we live, and what is important to us. Reading the book out loud as a couple helped provide focus.
While I don't mean to equate the book with the gospels, the book helped John and I focus on what is important in our lives. It is our relationship. It is our respect for one another, and especially John's respect for me as his mistress. And, consequently his respect for my authority over his life. While we no longer follow many of the practices of former years, my authority over John's life is about as complete as it can be. He no longer has to ask permission to leave the dinner table, or permission to use the restroom in a restaurant, or permission to speak when one of my mistress friends is present, he still finds comfort in many of these rules. And, as you know in our return to basics we are going back to the practice of using Command Position as a training tool.
But, before going further with this posting I would like to hear more from you about the book.
How many of you have read it. And, has it benefited you and your wife. Has it improved your relationship. Has it helped you to become a better submissive. Has it helped her to become a better mistress. And for those of you who are not in an active femdom relationship, did you enjoy the book and why.
Love, Kathy
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8 comments:
Kathy,
Thank you so much for featuring my book. Your words are really thoughtful. I'm glad you liked thr book. There's a lot of wonderful stories around well managed Female led relationships. I'm going back and reading your blog now.
Key
Mistress Kathy
Just wanted you to know, i have read the book and my Mistress/Wife and i are now reading it together. Your remark about lack of courage was stinging. i rarely comment although i look to your blog everyday even during those long periods when you are absent. i see myself as thoughtful and respectful rather than cowardly.
jj
For jj
Well sweetheart, if it took a little bit of a sting to get you out of the shadows the remark served a good purpose. This is meant as a discussion blog, and your reaction to what is said is important. And, I am glad to hear that you and your wife are reading the book together.
If your wife chooses not to comment it is my hope that you share with us her thoughts on the book. For example, is it helpful to read the book together. In the early part of the book Key makes the comment that for a female led relationship to work the man must believe his wife's judgment is superior to his. Do you and your wife agree with this.
There are so many things in this book for a couple to think about.
Love, Kathy
Hi Kathy -- I have ordered the book, but it has not yet been delivered.
In response to your question in your note to jj, in my old life (pre FLR) I think my judgement was as good as my wife's, maybe even better in some areas.
Now that I am learning to submit to my wife and her judgement and decisions, I am finding it easier and easier to accept her judgments and even more to understand the wisdom in what she decides.
I find now that whenever I am given an opportunity to make a decision (by her or others) what guides me more and more is that I think about what my wife would decide, and go with that. My own decision-making is becoming more female led and influenced. Go figure.
Love that you are back blogging
vic
Hi Kathy -- I have ordered the book, but it has not yet been delivered.
In response to your question in your note to jj, in my old life (pre FLR) I think my judgement was as good as my wife's, maybe even better in some areas.
Now that I am learning to submit to my wife and her judgement and decisions, I am finding it easier and easier to accept her judgments and even more to understand the wisdom in what she decides.
I find now that whenever I am given an opportunity to make a decision (by her or others) what guides me more and more is that I think about what my wife would decide, and go with that. My own decision-making is becoming more female led and influenced. Go figure.
Love that you are back blogging
vic
I'm one of the submissive single guys who has no interest in this book.
I do read your blog but not as much as I used to and I rarely comment. I think my comments were polite but some don't get posted.
Anyway the crux of the problem is that most women and even a large percentage are not dominant and not going to be dominant. Most even you want the man to provide security and safety and a high income for them. I don't think even 2% of the population is into FLR.
Men are motivated by sex, at least initially.
Your and John's decisions are not ones I would make or appreciate but to each their own. I am more D/s inclined and would crave the type of dominance and kink that FLR preaches against and a lot of women find distasteful.
I am a conservative kind of guy. I don't like the feminization of the work force. Women like to think they are doing the same job as men but I rarely see it. I see men working overtime and women trying to leave at 4 pm or on their phones all day.
I don't see women being effective leaders. I see large organizations kow towing to some kind of politically correct philosophy that punishes men. I am not saying men should have free reign to do things they did in the past like assaulting women but I don't see women doing the work men do. Bottom line. they like to say they do but usually don't. Now some do I agree and if they truly do they are entitled to all the rewards any other talented worker should but to simply promote women for the sake of diversity is not productive.
I used to work in a science field and have a different view. I have seem a lot of different offices. The women dominated ones rarely produce.
Kathy my owner and I will read it this weekend together and I’ll report back. Thanks Key
Hi,
Thanx for your blog. I feel the need to comment when I know it is appreciated. I'm in the mid 40ties and single for a few years now. This time was spent reflecting on the relationship I want for the future. I enjoy reading about FLR because it closer to what I feel than the model prevalent at the moment.
When I was a kid, most of my friends were female and older than me. So, I end up having a supportive role. I was the one who was compliant. And all that felt very natural. In my late teens I started feeling uncomfortable with the traditional masculine role in dating. It felt awkward.
I had many relationships with women who were bossy or somehow controlling. At the same time, since all this was never said openly, I think there was an AMBIVALENCE in those relationships. It was not satisfying in the long run.
So, it is inspiring for me to read loving women who are NOT ambivalent about the role they want to play in a relationship. It's a education for me. And it feels natural.
So thanks for writing this blog.
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