They you my babies for the very wonderful response to the blog.
I hope that all of you are doing well and staying away from the virus. Both John and I wear face masks when we go to the store. Becky has perfected the art of having necessary things delivered to her home. She is working. Her husband has been furloughed, but is hopeful that his job will come back soon. At least they are saving money on gas. In a strange way we both seem to be adjusting to our new circumstances, but I do miss the grandchildren.
As I write this short post John is in Command Position in front of my writing desk. Sometimes I do this in this morning after he brings my coffee. It is a way of demonstrating to him that he remains my obedient slave-loving, but still a slave. Way back when in the coffee shop John told me that he wanted to live as my slave. It took a great deal of courage for him to say those words, but he knew what he wanted and needed. By that time I had worked in Tara's studio for several months and had an understanding of the male need for submission. On that day I welcomed him home. I also made a commitment to him.
The commitment I made to John that day was to be his mistress. Not just an ordinary mistress.
My commitment to John was to be a strong mistress who ruled every aspect of his life. There was a certain fear in his eyes yet it was also something he wanted and needed. After what we had been through there was no way of going back to an ordinary vanilla marriage no matter how much each of us may have feared the future. John had his own car at the coffee shop. He followed me home.
Once inside the house I put him in Command Position for the first time. He had learned the command in the studio and responded in the appropriate manner. In some ways I relished this new found power over my husband of many years. Yes, I discovered a part of my secret self.
Love, Kathy
16 comments:
What a lovely morning you're both having! Sounds like you're both enjoying it Feels like I'd be intruding to jump in the middle of it. :-)
J
Ms. Kathy- Thank you, and hope everything works out well for everyone with the furlough and other challenges.
I have to say when you said you use the command position, it makes me wonder why we never have here. My wife hasn't wanted to, I guess. I can see a value to it (well, several). Did you ever used to use "corner time" standing a punishment early on as well?
Thank you, sara elise
Happy Friday to you, Mistress Kathy! Today has me thinking about how the last few weeks have changed the way we go about our daily lives and the way we relate with each other. We have always had a femdom dynamic in our home while we are here. But, in the past, it was constantly interrupted by visits from family and friends. Often, there wasn't a lot of continuity to it. Now, the dynamic is ever present, and she is able to keep the dynamic going, mostly without interruption. As a result, I am completing chores and projects she has directed done in the past, but often didn't get started or finished due to one reason or another. She is now able to provide direction and supervision to our daily lives.
My spouse has utilized a chastity device with me for the past 10 years. In the past, that has also been hit or miss depending on if we were traveling or what we were involved in. I could always count on some freedom from the device from time to time, but staying at home has made a big change to that. Now, I don't get many breaks from the device. Being caged 24/7 has been a huge change. For me, chastity has always complemented my submissiveness and my attentiveness and I really like what it has done for our relationship over the years. Now, I find myself focused on her wants and needs a lot, basically, all the time. Even when I doing chores, I'm thinking of her and asking if there is anything I can do for her quite often. She has commented that she has noticed a change in my behavior and often says I should be this way all the time, but understands it's just male chemistry. Think she is content to maintain this current behavior for now by keeping me caged continuously as long as we are sheltering in place. It is a profound change for me and seems it could last for a while.
We are of the age where we would be in danger from the virus so I suspect she will insist we stay at home for a while even past the lifting of the stay at home order until she feels confident that things are not going to flare back up and we will be safe out and about. We both look forward to this crisis being over, but this time at home has brought us closer together.
The reality is that the vast majority of male submissives are into the costume, the role, the ritual and, especially, the punishment/pain/humiliation. Most not only desire such things but, in terms of punishment, they need it. They fear it but they need it.
That's the harsh truth that some Women might not wish to admit to. But, in my experience, the Femdoms who do not embrace it, and who come to enjoy punishing their slaves, are in a tiny minority.
Some of your best posts were about Women who did embrace these aspects of Femdom. The Latino Lady who had a macho husband but who, through harsh training, had trained him to wait obediently on his knees for her to return home. Or the divorced boss of a company who oneday admitted his submissive nature to his secretary and who eventually ended up as her fulltime slave.
It is not anti-Christian or wrong for a Femdom to punish, and to enjoy punishing, her slave husband. In many respects she will make him a happier slave.
Ms. Kathy,
The scene you describe, or something similar, is probably a staple in most successful Female Led Marriages. Rituals are important. They are powerful and also are an efficient way for my own Mistress to put me into the position, place or mindset She wants me in immediately. Little time is wasted. I'm sure John considers himself one of the luckiest people in the world, as I do with my own Mistress Wife Diane.
Respectfully,
sissy terrie
That's right
The reality is that the taboo on taking about punishment, about spankings and about Femdom gender roles is what is killing the dialogue on Femdom.
While part of it is the fault of males who are only in the blogs for fantasizing, how much can you really blame the weaker sex? It's the Dominant Women who are mature who have to learn to control that type of make behavior and learn to still make Femdom about love and commitment and a real relationship whole at the same time still make it about the UNequality between males and Women, about the servitude of men to Women, about Women training, correcting, punishing and molding men to their liking and about again, love, intimacy and a real relationship.
I think the message the taboo on taking about punishment sends out is that you can balance the two things but ultimately they are opposed. I find that not to be true. I find that Women can be strict, can rule men and create intimacy with their men, submissive or totally slaves without having to "balance" anything - and in fact the punishing and the spanking, the whips and chains if you will, are all not only not opposed but I'm the firm hands of a loving but strict Mistress just more tools to create that relationship, to mold it and to mold Her male to Her liking, to lead the way into a life of love and a life in which the male is inferior, serving but loved and loving.
Males in a Femdom relationship need Female leaders to take them where they want. They need Women who can talk a lot about punishment, who the males can look up to and respect but also who see males as being there for the pleasure of Women and who will train, punish and mold them into better versions of themselves.
It's time to end the taboo. Let's talk about Femdom!
Wishful4,
I had made a comment about use of a chastity device and wasn’t going to make another on the topic but when I saw your comment I wanted to say that my Mistress/Wife and I (mainly my Wife/Mistress with my agreement) decided the same thing about the chastity device I wear. It will remain locked on continuously during the lockdown. We’ve owned chastity devices since I was in my 40s and I have had long and short term experience in them. It does change a man because it can ensure he makes a physical sacrifice while his Mistress experiences no such a thing. My Wife/Mistress allows me to sleep in another bedroom when the device causes me frustration issues that would keep both me, and her, awake.
Hi Ms Kathy
I think like oysters, the acquired taste of Female Domination is now a part of you.
I wonder if there is anything you are doing that is more Female led now that everyone is shut in Her home with Her family, in your case with your trapped and lucky to be confined with you, slave.
Alex
Before the lockdown, I always noticed how nervous I felt sharing an opinion with someone else. All of it was driven by the fact that my wife might find out what I was saying, she might not like it and she might force me to back pedal. Also, it just didn’t feel right saying anything too far off script to anyone else because after all, I am somebody else’s bottom and ultimately I have no real authority to back up what I say. But because of this social distancing stuff, I don’t notice that dynamic as much anymore because I don’t get to talk to anyone, and quite frankly, I miss it. To be honest, whenever I would say something to anyone, the first thing they should have asked was if what I was saying was my idea or my wife’s idea. One thing I really like is being my wife’s puppet and I yearn for more people to think of me that way.
Joel
Just reflecting on Gigi's comment, I couldn't agree more. With me it is all about my love and commitment to my wife. The inequality is what I crave. The fact that I have boundaries and she has none seems very natural to me at this point. She has never laid a hand on me to get what she wants. Don't get me wrong, I get punished when I need it and they are not enjoyable punishments, just not corporal punishments. She has told me she is not against it if it ever came to that.
Guy's your wife just wants the guy that she fell in love with. The guy that showed up at her door the first time you started dating. Polite, demure, would do anything to please her. Of course it will come to her that this was all something you did to get her pants off. Soon she realizes that all she has to do is limit that activity and the guy she fell in love with will show back up. stay safe and take care- Alan
Ms Kathy
My wife and I spending so much time together, even though we were teleworking during the week, has had a positive effect on our relationship. Verbal reminders that she is the boss, a gentle tug on the chastity device I wear most of the time, an order to wear only panties today (with appropriate attire close by if I have to attend a meeting online) prove that there’s a happy inequality. You said rituals are important and I agree. I was very turned on the other day, horny would be the word, and my wife must have sensed it as we were having lunch together. So she asked me if I was turned on, somehow knowing the answer would be yes. She said, “there’s not going to be an orgasm for you until next month, but I think a weekly ritual we will have is that we discuss your chastity and why you sacrifice for me. Would you like that?”. I told her I would, and she set for a Friday mornings. It will be a subtle reminder of my inequality in our relationship.
We think rituals are important too and all of us here will be quite different. That was beautiful thank you and the loving recognition of your sacrifice is precious. DandSNZ
please post about how things are going now.
{now is an excellent time for Femdom marriages to thrive under Female rule. Everything from if and when to leave the home, how to behave, what political opinions the family has etc all are big issues which Women now are called to lead on, and their boys t meekly and obediently follow whether they would agree with their Mistress or not. It's an excellent time for Femdom coupes to prove what they are made of, so boys, concentrate extra hard on pleasing and obeying.
In my relationship, and i can only speak for me and how my life works, things aren't as cut and dried as the previous comments have been. For us, we each have our strengths and weakness and rely on one another when their strength is needed. We both have different political opinions and are free to discuss these differences in an open, honest and up-front manner. Yes, usually, i defer to Her for a final decision, as i treasure and respect her intelligence and basic common sense; but the balance is there. i am not a simple follower, but the bottom part of a team. Did that make sense to you guys? She enjoys my strengths and uses them in our marriage of many years. She takes charge of whatever She desires, of course and i just naturally follow her guidance.
Do you guys really want this blog to turn into a wank spot?? i'll bet the ladies reading this blog would have a different opinion, but again, that's not for me to say. Still, i'd love to hear what the female readers would like to see here.
Being Mistress Kathy's blog, she will be the one to decide what is here and what isn't published. She has so much good solid information and experience and accepting that is why i am here. So, if she decides this blog is turning into a male wank event, i have no doubt she'll drop it completely and no one wants that - at least i don't
Just my thoughts.
larry
I thnk this is a perfect time in the world to discuss how Females lead their households, their menfolk and I'd like to hear more from the Women, less from the men on the direction of the world going forward. It's an excellent time for Wives, Girlfriends and Women in general to get together and plan where we're taking our world. Amen
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