Sunday, December 30, 2018

Punishment, A Quick Aside

Before thanking Tina for sharing her situation with me there was one more question for her.

What started off as a Saturday afternoon movie with her husband and friend  turned into something much 'more'. My question was the same as I almost always ask to the readers of the blog. What I most wanted to understand  was how she felt about the experience.

Tina's response came relatively quickly. She was not sure how she felt, but she was not happy.. She was confused and conflicted. The femdom business, she said, began as a game. When her husband first asked her about a chastity appliance she said no. He, however, pushed for it. When she would ask what he would like for his birthday the chastity device once again came up. He told her that wearing the device might help him concentrate on his studies. (As he put it the appliance might get his mind off of sex). Against that background she knew he had been masturbating, and wanted to find a cure for what she considered was a nasty habit that distracted him from both her and his work.

In the final email Tina told me that she felt more than a little uncomfortable with the way things turned out. In a sense she felt that maybe they had went too far with the games. She was not at all sure she wanted femdom as a real part of her life. She felt like she could be a mistress for her husband, but had harbored serious reservations about whether is was right for them as a couple.
As Tina escalated the situation on that Saturday afternoon she continued to hope that her husband would find the inner strength to push back. What kind of a man she asked me would willingly surrender his car keys or wallet to his wife.  I could have added what kind of a man allows his wife to order for him in a restaurant, or doesn't say a word because he has been placed in silent mode, but from experience I know most any submissive male could be trained to obey these simple directives.

From what I can gather the breaking point for Tina came when they were back at the apartment.
There was an argument over something stupid. In front of the girlfriend Tina's husband got down on his knees to beg for whatever it was he wanted.  Instead of playing the game Tina told me she slapped him hard on the face. She told him to be a man, but all he could do was to kiss her feet as a  way of apologizing. He also started to cry. In her words to me she saw him as something less than a man.

Early on in the exchange Tina mentioned that the reason for the friends visit was that her dorm was shut down for the holiday. The plan was for the friend to sleep on the sofa bed, and fly out the next day to join her family on vacation. Instead, Tina decided to have her husband sleep on the sofa. That evening she had him change the bed sheets and clean up the apartment. The words she used on him were very strong she told me.  She told him something to the effect that if he can't be a real man at least he could be a real maid.

As Tina and I visited it became more and more apparent that she wanted her story told. In my opinion the show of submission in front of the friend revealed the size of the fissure between her and her husband. As a type of accommodation to him she was willing to play the game. In the right circumstance she was even willing to offer a touch of reality. However, what she couldn't accept was the  debt of submission that her husband displayed.  In my opinion Tina is reaching for answers . What I see is a typical young wife who is striving to accommodate a husband who is pushing for more than she is willing to give. 'Where this femdom thing goes', she told me 'I don't know'.


Love, Kathy






11 comments:

richard s. said...

He knows what he desires but she does not. My Mistress loves and respects me for what I am, even when I am sensitive and the times when I make a mistake. I hope they can reach a medium. but either way, it is time to stop the game and work on the marriage. Every man is not a macho guy.

Thank you ma'am for using this couple as an example of a femdom situation and sharing it with us.

Anonymous said...

Really????? I don't get you people. One minute you are talking about Femdom the next minute this.

Woman up!

Anonymous said...

It seems to me there is a fundamental paradox here. The husband says that he wants his wife to lead their relationship and that he wants to obey her. If that is really the case, he should accept that she is not interested in some of the things he would like her to do. He should obey her when she says she does not want to do them and not "push for more than she is willing to give".
- Stewart.

Anonymous said...

I will never try to understand how females think. I told my girlfriend of this need to have a FLR relationship. I went out of my way to get her to accept this. What it took was six months after bringing up the subject, sitting in church, I was not paying attention, and was notice by others. Leaving church a lady came up to us, young man, too old to be doing what you were doing in church, young lady, I suggest you do something about this. When we got home, she was mad, not at the lady, but at me, and finally said, so you want me to be in charge, well get ready. I was soon standing naked, in the front room, getting scolded like a child. Let see how you like the spanking and boy did she do just that. The following Sunday I was pleading, begging not to be spanked prior to church, who is in charge in this house, I said she was, I was just out of the shower, and I slowly went over her lap and as a total mess when she was done. Your getting another spanking when we get home young man for not doing what you were told to do. I squirmed in church and sure enough that same woman approached us after church, see you took what I said to heart speaking to my wife, no my wife said to his bare bottom. I stood saying nothing, my wife then added that he was spanked prior to church this morning and will be spanked when we get home for not doing what I told him to do. The lady smiled, that what makes a strong marriage, the woman in charge and a man's spanked bottom.

Anonymous said...

This male wish for a FLR and was in shock when a woman I was dating after a couple of months said she would try, but her rules. I felt foolish as I walked naked into the front room. She was sitting in the middle of the room and said well what have you to say for yourself. Mommy I've been a naughty boy, she smiled, is this what you wanted, I looked at her, yes/no, I feel very little, good she said. She then showed me the spanking magazines she found, suppose you masturbate to these, looking at her, your in no position to not tell me, yes I said. She stood up grabbed my arm and said that is digusting and soon was in the bathroom. Sit on the toilet and address your erection young man, Yes Mommy and soon I was stroking, that stern look on her face. When I was done she spanked my bare bottom as we went back to the front room. That spanking was worse than I thought, I was rubbing, dancing around, she was smiling, no more rubbing young man, Yes Mommy, you stand and best not talk, or move until told so, Yes Mommy. When she finally did ask is this okay with you, I looked at her, it hurts Mommy, good she said, now answer the question, Yes Mommy it is what I have wanted. Bring me any other magazines you have hidden and still naked I brought the rest to her.

Anonymous said...

When my husband first came to me about an FLR he wanted much more than I was comfortable with. We finally had a conversation (me seated and him on his knees) where I told him that as the HOH and his Mistress I set all the rules and where we would go with our FLR. If he couldn’t accept this then it would not be a true FLR. He conceded that I was correct . As we have progressed in our FLR I have become more empowered, more demanding of my husband, and more willing to hold him accountable for his behavior and for meeting
my expectations. We continue to have our conversations nearly every week - always with him kneeling in front of me. I would suggest that Tina has such conversations with her husband - he needs to learn who is the dominant one and that he needs to follow her rules and expectations. Tell him that she needs a husband as well as a slave .
Diane

Anonymous said...

Or maybe she needs a boyfriend she can see as a man, as well as a husband/slave...

Anonymous said...

Ms Kathy,

I wanted to comment on slapping. Ms Tina slapped Her male when She was angry about Femdom getting out of hand. Ironically though, She used a form of physical punishment then and there.

Slapping is one of the hidden forms of Femdom that have been practiced in society at large for thousands of years. It's a Women's privilege and can only be understood as a Femdom behavior that has made it to the collective subconscious.

Alex

Anonymous said...

Mistress Kathy,

I'm a silent follower of your blog, may be more than 7 years... Read lots of beautiful posts, which are not in the blog right now. Thank you for all. Thank you you for accompanying our femdom journeys too. This post series with Mistress Tina is awesome again.
Please don't get this comment wrong (because I know your approach to cuckolding). However, Miss Tina's comment on while his submissive husband is preparing the sheets, "if he can't be a real man at least he could be a real maid." this sounds like the first step of cuckoldry. This is my opinion, honestly i didn't write it down here for commenting kinky etc...
Thank you again for your all sharings with us.

Lucien

Anonymous said...

Ms Kathy,

You used to comment more about comments... It's OK if you don't but... why?

Dogboy said...

Tina should have her talk with her husband. And make him understand that flr is all about serving the wife who is the queen. And he is her. Slave. servent Period with no rights he becomes her dog and strives to make her happy at all times hr forgets his owen needs and livesvto obey his wifes commands. Orders. With the best of his abilities And he does so in everything the way his. Queen demands. He get to say. At all she will tell him who to make beds
Clean iron shop scrub the toilets. All on his queend orders yes real flr is much more stern lifestyle then game playing. It allso means no tv. Internet its now all about shining your wife's shoes and keeping her she closet cleaned. So be a real slavebto your wife and shut your face and let her rule you