Monday, May 21, 2018

Some Quick Thoughts On A Monday Morning

This is not really a posting. It is not really the start of a new series. More than anything it is just some thoughts related to the comment from Richard related to femdom weddings.

With the royal wedding this weekend in St. Georges chapel everyone is thinking about weddings. John and I watched a few minutes of the ceremony along with the carriage ride. The pageantry was spectacular. Megan was beautiful. By the smile she put on Harry's face you could feel the love and romance.  Harry with his well trimmed beard looked so handsome; so manly and yet so adorably cute that I could have kissed him right there at the altar.

The comment from Richard addressed the idea of femdom weddings. And yes, I think the world may be coming to that, but not in the same way as Richard talks about. It is one thing for the groom to take a public vow of obedience. It is another thing for the groom to wear something cute and skimpy so that he will be ogled by the  women. As mistress wives we want our men to be manly. We want to be the one who wears the beautiful dress. We are the ones who want to be ogled.

What I am trying to say is that modern femdom philosophy is not about men becoming women, and women becoming manly. Femdom is about men acknowledging the natural authority of women in their every day lives. It is about the natural desire of men to serve the lady in their life. A man who is submissive to women is no less a man. This, I believe is the social concept that will drive femdom relationships in the twenty first century.

And, we are starting to see the concept of women leading and making decisions in our everyday lives.
We even see it on television commercials. Sometimes the messages are so subtle that we miss them, but they are there. Here are two examples.

Last month or so I'm hers posted a short video of a man unloading packages from a van. The attractive lady watching him struggle made no effort to help. In the end she even had the poor suffering husband close the rear door by himself. The outward message was simply to show how easy the van's door could be closed. The inner message was about who is in charge. The lady was clearly the boss of this man. He didn't look like a week man. He looked to be what most people would call 'manly', and she wasan't some type of a witch with a spanking rod. Yet, she was the boss. She was the mistress.

This weekend I happened to watch a short commercial from a leading insurance company. In this commercial the message about who was in charge was so subtle that I almost missed it. It is evening and both parents are in bed reading. A teenage boy comes into the bedroom. The teenager, who had been out with the family car, reports that there was a minor fender bender in a narrow drive up. But don't worry he tells the parents because their insurance policy has accident forgiveness. He proudly tells the parents that their insurance rates wont go up. Without a second though the mom calmly tells the teenager that there will be no car for four weeks. The decision on punishment is up to her. The father is not consulted. He clearly has nothing to say in the matter. The wife who is obviously head of house makes the decision completely on her own.

Many of the blogs take the idea of role reversal to an extreme. In the fifties men were in charge. In the current century more women will be in charge. While this may lead to some changes in the ways in which men and women dress, I don't see men starting to wear skirts and makeup. Well, maybe a skirt now and then, but certainly not makeup. Women will always want the look that turns a man's head. We will always want to be the one who is pursued, I think. And, for the outside world we do not want friends and neighbors to know that our guy wears pretty panties under his jeans. No, not yet, I think.


Love, Kathy

28 comments:

Key Barrett said...

"modern femdom philosophy is not about men becoming women, and women becoming manly. Femdom is about men acknowledging the natural authority of women in their every day lives."

So true! It's understanding as a man you can be your best self by helping her become her best self. There is tremendous strength in putting someone else's needs above your own and recognizing your strong auit is accoplishing tasks and goals. In this case, your female leader's goals.

Good to have you back, Kathy!

Key

P.S. Meghan had the word 'obey' removed from her vows.not exactly femdom bride levels, but definitely female-positive!

Dan - A Disciplined Hubby said...

Kathy, I tried to post earlier, but something went wrong, so ignore and don't post this one if the other came through.

Key, even more interesting to me is that the word she substituted for "obey" was "protect"

Kathy, I know the commercial you are talking about involving the teenage driver. You're right, that dynamic is subtle, so much so that I never picked it up. It does seem the days of "Just wait 'til your father gets home" are over. Now Mom just takes care of it herself.

tiptease said...

Dear Kathy,

Your great post is spot on, thank you,

With regards,
tiptease

Ethan James said...

Spot on Kathy,

There are many facets of 'FemDom' from 'normal' everyday relationships where She's the boss to more extreme examples where She's the BOSS and then some. Either way i do believe that Women are becoming ever more assertive in expressing Their natural gifts for leadership vis-a-vis men and men are ever more comfortable with the idea that She's in charge.

i also firmly endorse the idea that Women, from my experience, want their men to be manly, yet submissive towards Them. The two are not in any way mutually exclusive, in fact it's perfectly natural.

Kathy said...

For Ethan, that is a very good observation. Let me put it in quotes and in capital letters.
'Submissiveness to women and manliness are not incompatible virtues'.

Well it didn't make capitals, but yes you know what I mean.

Thank you sweetheart.

Love, Kathy

Anonymous said...

Ms Kathy,

I love that You are talking about NATURAL Female Authority. That's what it is. Femdom is natural. Human societies in prehistoric times where Matriarchal, that's what's natural.

I have a question, speaking about weddings, what about marrying off? Are you against that or for it?

Eina

Anonymous said...

Hi. Contrast the demeanour of Diana towards Charles at their wedding with Megan towards Harry. Do the same with Charles and Harry. It is very obvious that the younger generation live by a different paradigm and one where I think I can see where the natural authority is and where the natural role to be the protector is. Thanks. D&S NZ

Anonymous said...

Kathy,

I really like your idea of how society is changing. Something that I would like to add, and apparently we differ on this, is that not ALL Women want a masculine man. Maybe even a majority do. But I have to ask you a question, and I'm doing this respectfully just to show you another perspective. Are you Lesbian? OK, I think I know the answer is "no" (it's very clear to me you're attracted to John, for instance). (I wouldn't mind if it was "yes"). Sorry if the question sounded "intrusive" or disrespectful, it's just for this point I'm making. However, are there Lesbians in the world? "Yes"

So imagine you generalized and said "all Women are attracted to men". For centuries people DID generalize and say that! Then the Lesbians started popping up and today we "all know" that "not all Women are attracted to men". So... Don't you think these generalizations of "all Women want a masculine man" or "Women don't want too much of a role reversal" or "that is just a male fantasy" are just like that generalization of "all Women are attracted to men"? Just because it's sometimes hard to understand that others are attracted to something completely different than what We are or even Our circle of friends doesn't mean it's absolutely true.

Let me tell you that I've been to some BDSM venues where you really saw all sorts of things. Some Women, and I'm talking even Dominant Women who really are into it because they like it and NOT for financial reasons or anything like that, were bisexual, some were into feminized men, and I even met quite a few that were into transgendered boys who are half-way in a transition to Woman (there was this boy who was kind of boyish but was growing breasts, and BELIEVE ME he/She - I don't know if to call "him" or "her" was a "hot item" for MANY Women). Because of all the things you've said, I can see how that's NOT your type. I very much respect that. However, I think you are being naïve by thinking it's the only type... and I would agree with you that it's probably harder to find that type of Woman, at least openly, outside of BDSM venues or of that kind of place... but I ASSURE you We exist.

I don't want this to sound like a heated debate or anything. If anything, I respect You and Your blog a lot. I ONLY wanted to show you a different perspective. I don't think there are "more" men into this than Women, as much as I think that many of the Women who ARE into this don't allow themselves to explore their own sexuality to the point of knowing it. I think part of it is this censorship that comes from being told what the "correct" form of Female sexuality looks like - and I don't want to point fingers, I do however want to tell you that generalizations like "We Women don't want our men to be Feminine" are the type of messages that don't allow many, many Girls and Women to allow themselves to explore their sexualities to that point... and it's OK, but not for everyone.

Linda

Anonymous said...

Ms Kathy,

I love Your reading of today's sexual roles and trends. To Dominant Female heads of household, cheers!

Alex

Anonymous said...

Dear Kathy. In my opinion it takes a strong and brave man to go against societal norms and submit to a woman. My husband empowers me when he willingly promises to obey and serve me. I have no interest in him becoming feminized. I do have to admit that I was so proud of him when I had him carry my purse when we were shopping over the weekend. I felt empowered and he was fulfilling a need that is deep inside him and that I now think many men have inside them as well.
Diane

British Kink said...

For about a year I have been in contact with a serious Dominatrix in the US who is keen for me to become her 24/7 slave. We communicate frequently. Have very interesting & intelligent conservations.

She did surprise me some months ago when she informed me that she wished to effectively feminise me to a considerable degree. We did have some interesting conversations as a result.

Kathy said...

Thank all of you for sharing.

I especially want to thank Diane and Linda. We need more women contributing to the blog.
Of course Linda is correct in what she says. In a way I was generalizing about what women want based on my own prospective that of my friends. Working with me in the studio was a mistress who liked to keep her 'man' as feminine as possible. On the street he wore tight fitting pants and carried a so called man's purse that could pass for a woman's purse. Either way she liked the look. And, in the privacy of our home John is often kept in panties. But, also as Diane comments, having him carry my purse in the mall give me a special feeling. Yes, as Mistress Diane says it could be a feeling of empowerment. Sometimes I am not sure how I feel about the feminization issue. While I want my husband to remain manly, there are times when it is fun to have him dress up. And, in a strange way having him dress up, or simply wear a little skirt brings us closer together. This might be a topic to touch on in a later post. Love, Kathy

Unknown said...

It is a misnomer to call it feminization in at least my case. I am willing to wear panties and a cage to please my Mistress and present my soft side and submissiveness. To each their own.


richard s.

Kathy said...

For my little Richard. Is wearing panties and cage what your mistress wants, or is really about what you want? I am trying to be critical, but men want the feeling of being forced to do things.

And for BK. I am always suspicious of women. Most of them are in it for the money.


Love, Kathy

Anonymous said...

Ms Kathy,
Thank you for your blog.
Each couple is different. I would like to share with you this link to a couple's blog. I love them very much, they are so in love. and they fully live their originality.
http://poppetsubslut.blogspot.fr/2018/02/vegas-baby.html

Michel

Anonymous said...

Sounds nice in theory but in practice it is extremely tricky to avoid the inevitable overtones gender role reversal. This week, my wife scolded me for wasting too much paint on a DIY project and wondered why it was not getting done sooner and stated that she herself could do it faster. Later, when I suggested getting a buying a truck to haul lumber, she said if it ever happened, she would drive it and I could have the sedan! All these interactions seem a little too much like her posturing as "the man" in the relationship - she has even openly referred to me as her "housewife", but there is really nothing I could do to stop it at this point. Always be careful what you wish for.

Joel

Anonymous said...

Dear Mistress Kathy and dear Mistress Linda,
*curtsey*
I think this post goes to the very heart about women leading their men.. Ultimately is is about trust and from that trust comes obedience. I will do everything I can to obey my wife and that includes how I live as her submissive husband. In my fantasy world, I am a sissy. I would love to serve as her feminised maid during the day and be her sissy baby gurl at night, wearing pretty nighties and sleeping restrained in a cot sucking on a paci and when allowed at her breast. I would wear a chastity cage 24/7/365 and use my mouth to give her orgasm after orgasm. In my dreams... But hello real world!!!! My wife knows this but that's not what she wants. Yes, I often wear a cage, I am allowed to suckle at her breast and she has many more orgasms than I am allowed but I am only allowed to wear panties and occasionally pantyhose. She won't give me permission to indulge the feminisation thing and I have to respect and understand her rules on this. and I do. And I obey. Ultimately it is about what the woman wants and the boundaries she enforces. She may want a macho man or a submissive sissy - or anything in between or more outrageous. But she must decide and the husband, if he really believes in and loves her, will obey.
*curtsey*
Sissy Jenna

Anonymous said...

I agree with Mistress Linda when She says about feminization: “I don't think there are "more" men into this than Women, as much as I think that many of the Women who ARE into this don't allow themselves to explore their own sexuality to the point of knowing it. I think part of it is this censorship that comes from being told what the "correct" form of Female sexuality looks like.” If both males and Women free themselves of preconceptions and allow themselves to explore and experiment, I think male feminization will take off (though it will not be for everyone). After all, as patriarchy declines, feminine ways and feminine values will have newfound prestige.

When I wear feminine clothes, I feel freed from a patriarchally-imposed identity of what is “manly.” My new identity can be molded by the Woman I serve. As Kathy and Diane say, it can also be empowering for Women. Matriarchy should bring a return to fun and freely expressed sexuality. Though not all will accept this, I find Linda’s idea that we boys should be “slim, cute, and obedient,” deeply attractive. Why can’t this be a description of an ideal boy?? I’m all for it. ;)

L

Anonymous said...

Anyone else think that the "Linda" persona is actually a guy?

Anonymous said...

Kathy. This is a fascinating discussion thank you. At first I wore panties because they are so much more comfortable than men’s heavy briefs but now wear them because it is a symbol of my love and submission to my Mistress Di. T pleases her too. We very much relate to your attitude Mistress Kathy. D&S NZ

Anonymous said...

Ms. Kathy,

I have an important question to make. On your previous post, you wrote

"While I am not in favor of disenfranchising men there were arguments that caused me to think about the issue in a realistic manner."

What where these arguments and what did they make you think?

Thanks!

Alex

Anonymous said...

Ms. Kathy,

Did you know there's a huge industry of panties for men? Some are even made with an extra spot to fit in their penises. Just saying.
Here's a quick Google Images search to show you what I mean:


https://www.google.com.mx/search?q=panties+for+men&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjGl4fy9azbAhVMY6wKHZoWA4kQ_AUICigB&biw=1093&bih=510&dpr=1.25

IObeyWoman said...

Dear Kathy,

Thank you very much for maintaining this blog. Your posts and candid stories that allowed a glimpse into your female led relationship showed me that I wasn't abnormal. For so long I have been ashamed by my need to submit to the will of the female gender. Now, I know I am not alone and I have become a proud submissive.

I come to your blog everyday to check up for your new posts, and to learn from your wisdom. And hopefully, one day, I will be able to find a caring woman such as you to submit, to worship and to obey.

Kathy said...

For I Obey, yes thank you for the comment. This is precisely why the blog was stated and maintained. To let both men and women know that male submission to the female is normal and within God's plan.

And yes, I have heard of panties for men, but my guess is that men would rather wear panties that are maid for women. Send your guy to the plus size store nearest you. For about $25 he can purchase three pairs of very pretty panties. And, he might be surprised at just how accommodating the sales clerks are with men. Believe me it is more fun for them to help a man with the purchase of panties then women. Most men, the clerks tell me, say they are buying the panties for a girlfriend. But, they almost all want them in a large size.


Love,Kathy

Key Barrett said...

I Obey,
I hope you find what you are looking for. There are women who know this is what they want, women who dont know yet and women who dont want that. Two out of three ain't bad.

Key

Anonymous said...

It was traditional for men to bow, and women to curtsey.

However, a little bit of role reversal may be desirable. Bowing was done by the men of a patriarchal society.

And the idea that a male may curtsey to his mistress has a certain charm to it. :).

Awhile back, in a blog by a Dominant Woman, I first came across this idea. The blogger requires her husband to curtsey to her. Out of curiosity, I looked for online instructions on how curtsey. I did find one web site that demonstrated how to do this gesture of respect, though the model was a woman.

Anonymous said...

Of course, a male simply being deferential to his wife is a radical change. We live in a society that was historically patriarchal. The convention was that men were Dominant, and women submissive. We need an alternative definition of "manly", in which it is okay for males to defer to Dominant Women.

Anonymous said...

In our case, it is not that he is turned into a woman. He should be so lucky!!! It's just that he is, like most men of my acquaintance , immature. in fact so immature that I think of him as a boy. yes, a boy. And so I took the decision a while ago that, if he behaved like a boy , he should be treated a s boy. He should be dressed as a boy. The rest followed easily. `His bedtime is 8 o'clock, he wears short trousers in the house (and often elsewhere). He is punished like a boy when I am annoyed with his behaviour. Corner time to reflect. He tries to protest some time ago. But now he dare not!!!

And so on.
Glad to elaborate if anyone is interested. But now to bed. (he of course has been there for nearly four hours!