Easter is one of my favorite times of the year. The weather is warm yet the oppressive heat associated with the summer months is yet to come. What I miss about this day is what it was like when the children were young, and excited about the prospect of finding candy baskets in discreetly hidden places. Yesterday I surprised John with a special little gift that was over due. I took him shopping for panties at the plus size store. This is embarrassing for him but he still treasurers the excitement that comes along with the experience. It is always special when the young sales associate says something like, 'oh, for him', and then proceeds to point us toward the merchandise. 'He usually takes size ten I graciously point out, and then ask if the store has anything cute in that size'. Sales associates in women's stores are more helpful toward male shoppers than with women. We often hear something like don't feel bad, you would be surprised by the number of men we have shopping here.
I believe many women would be surprised by the number of men who secretly wear women's underwear under their clothing. Once a gentlemen told me it is about how it makes him feel to wear panties. It helps bring our the softer, more submissive side of his personality he told me. He didn't understand it, but it somehow relaxes him to wear pretty lacy things under his male clothing. This gentlemen though of it as a special treat. Women complain that they are restricted by traditional rules of conduct, and are proud of throwing off the yoke of that repression. As I like to tell some of my girl friends men have also been restricted. Why can't a man wear something pretty and sweet. Why can't a man come out and say he likes to be with a lady who bosses him or simply takes the lead in a relationship.
Happy Easter. Thank you reading. Than you for sharing and being a part of the Femdom 101 community. Also, if any of you have not read the April 7th posting on Femdom Think Tank it is really excellent. Mz Kaylee compares femdom to a warm cozy blanket on a cold day. She talks about the importance of being consistent with authority and control. Every women whether in a femdom relationship or not should read her words. Men need a certain amount of consistency from the lady in their life. Femdom is not a game or a role to be played on certain days of the week. What I tell my daughter is that being a mistress wife is who your are. It is what your husband needs. 'Do you feel good about being David's mistress', I have asked her. 'Yes, most of the time she has responded', but their are the time she feels guilty and then there are those times when she feels put upon for having to be the person who makes the decisions. A couple of the male responses on Miss Kaylee's posting were also to the point. Men are becoming aware of the responsibility that comes with being a mistress. Some of them appreciate it, some of them do not. And, after you read her posting take a few minutes to thank her and share some of your thoughts with her.
Love, Kathy
11 comments:
Hi Kathy - Happy Easter to you. Your note struck a cord with me. I usually don't wear panties. However, because it is Easter my Wife/Mistress has allowed me to wear a white pair of panties with a lacy trim today. Definitely a very nice feeling and adds to my submissiveness to her.
vic
My wife bought me several new panties yesterday while we were shopping. I also wear panties 24/7. So today I have on a pair of purple silky panties , the Easter color. My wife edged me after I put them on this morning, I had to wrap the end of my cock with tissues as the drip will continue most of today and I do not want to mess these nice panties, or I will be punished. I also have a panty shield in them. Those I use often.
Most of the submissive men would wear panties were it not for the sterotypes and embarrassment of being discovered by the macho types or bullys. Shopping, I have been "outed" while reaching or bending and rare is the passing woman that does not smile and acknowledge seeing the lace border peeking over my shorts or pants.
I know you are right about the number of married men that wear because of the feel and the softness. Thank you for posting this part of femdom.
richard s.
Happy Easter to you and John. Thank you so much for the time you take to share a bit of your lives and your perspective with us. I don't often post a comment, but I look forward to everyone of your postings. The mistress/wife perspective is so relevant and so underrepresented on the internet. So much is written by men from their point of view and, for the most part, men don't have a clue when it comes to what goes through a mistress' mind, her wants, needs, and challenges. We try to be good, anticipate her needs, and do what she wants, but we have such trouble giving up the "all about me" ego. Have a blessed day. You are appreciated so much more than you know.
I love being told to wear panties and sometimes a pantie girdle by my Wife/Mistress.I always feel more subservient towards Her and of course She knows this and seems to enjoy the extra power control over me.Sometimes I have to literaly beg to be released from the panty girdle as it becomes really uncomfortable after a few hours of wear.
Happy Easter to you and John. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with all of us. I look forward to reading your blog all the time.
That was a nice treat for John, new panties! We all love getting new ones to wear. My wife will have me stand by her while she is going through the panties at the store looking for what she wants me to wear. She'll stop and pull out a few and ask "you like these"? I get a bit red in the face as there are women near by shopping but I will respond to her by saying yes, I love them. Lets face it, any panties she picks out I will love. First she picked them for me, second I love wearing them.:)
I do not get to pick which ones I wear. My wife lays a pair out on the vanity every morning that she wants me to wear for the day. If she is away, she will lay each days out in my panty drawer in order that I am to wear them.
Like John I'm sure, we all have our favorites and I would pick those everyday!!
Love lace!
Thank you for a great blog.
JB
Soft silky panties are just so pleasurable to wear. Feminine lace trim and bows make them even better. My wife and I always buy panties for me that are at least 90% nylon. When she rubs me thru the panty, the feeling is wonderful.
We have progressed to me wearing half slips with panties underneath to bed at night and babydoll nighties for when my wife tells me I am spending the day doing housework. I have three..pink, black and red. All silky and short with matching panties. Usually she is not home during much of the time I spend doing housework, ironing and laundry. My wife will have made arrangements to go golfing with three friends and for drinks afterwards. Then she comes home and demands a full body massage with orgasms for her. At least 1 1/2 hours. She will tease me about massaging her while I am wearing my nightie. Saying how she sees that I am very hard, so I must like dressing as a woman. And maybe she should start buying me dresses. Of course she will not permit me to orgasm, saying she wants me as horny as I can get. So at best I may get rubbed to three orgasms per year, cumming in my panties.
For All Hers,
Thank you sweet baby for the comment. How many women would guess that a man would stay home doing the house work while they go out with friends? Yet, my husband will often do the same. Love,Kathy
Good Morning Ms. Kathy . I am a mature submissive man approaching 60. I have followed your blog for some time but have never posted on your blog or any other until very recently. I enjoy hearing about your life and how you and John have embraced Femdom . I find the comments about your daughter especially interesting because it supports my belief that all men are born to serve the woman they love. The missing link that keeps this from happing is simply societal expectations and the woman's lack of knowledge. In your case, you and John provided the model outwardly in a socially accepted way so it was natural for Becky to transition into a FLR very early in her marriage.
I think blogs like your's and Mz Kaylee's are very important because they present this lifestyle in a way that most woman can relate to. However, a FLR can be a lot of work and responsibility for the wife and often the relationship does not advance for this reason . I believe the key to success lies in the motive . A woman that enters a FLR to please her husband starts with the wrong motive and sets expectations that will not last. A women entering this lifestyle because of the incredible opportunity it provides for her personal growth will find the key to self empowerment in all parts of her life!! This is much easier for a younger woman to achieve because her expectations of marriage tend to be more 50/50 than the model woman over 40 grew up with. The real challenge seems to be getting women to understand that men desire women that are powerful, confident and expect to be served . I am not sure why this is such a mystery when it is so evident in our society. Men are obsessed with women that demonstrate these qualities and will move heaven and earth to gain her approval.
I hope this post will inspire woman to see the advantages of living in a FLR . I hope that as a society we are on a path to understanding that living in a FLR actually represents a return to what is natural and correct . Love your blog Ms Kathy !!
For John,
Thank you sweetie for the thoughtful comment. Last week I read your insightful remarks on Femdom Think Tank. And, I am very glad to have you stop by Femdom 101.
Sweet men like you who are willing to express an opinion are assets to the lifestyle.
To a large degree your comment is accurate. However, the reality is that few women really want the lifestyle. The fact is that most women, including my daughter, enter the lifestyle in order to please their husbands. Having a mom and dad in the lifestyle made it easier for Becky, but still it was not something she wanted. Several years ago I made the remark that growing to like femdom is a lot like acquiring a taste for oysters. On the first try or two most people are disgusted with the taste of raw oysters. Yet, throw in a cold beer or two and many people will gradually come to appreciate the taste.
Like oysters femdom has a taste that must be acquired. Throwing in the right man makes the task easier, but it still takes time and patience. My John does an excellent job of taking care of the house work, but femdom is about more than turning a husband into some type of a super maid. Femdom is about relationships. It is about how a wife lives with the man whom she loves.
Women, more than men are social creatures. We talk with our friends every day. We talk about husbands, parents, children and all the little things that matter in our lives. Having a husband who craves feminine authority is one of the very few things that women are embarrassed to talk about with their friends. In time that will change. Yet, for now, the lack of friends in the life style, the lack of role models makes women very skeptical of accepting femdom as a way of life.
What I suspect is that children growing up in femdom homes will think it is only natural that mom is the leader and head of the family. What was so important to my development as a mistress was the group of women whom Tara introduced me to. While the group is now smaller than it once was, we still talk, we share stories, we laugh together, and sometimes cry together.
Thank all of you for sharing. Kathy4563@gmail.com
Love, Kathy
Hello Ms Kathy
I agree with your comments and know from very personal experience that they are true . Few if any woman seek out a FLR and it makes me sad to think that women like Becky are there without choice. My interest is to have women better understand that this is a powerful growth opportunity for her if the lifestyle is approached correctly. It is a given that men desire female authority, why not use the power for real life improvement . I want to see women acknowledge the power and use it to improve their lives rather than fulfill the husbands fantasies. It seems that the scope of having a submissive husband never goes beyond the role of " housekeeeping or super maid" . What woman would want that ? Who wants to share that picture with their friends? I got it ! A husband should share household responsibilities or take care of the house completely to provide time and opportunities for her to grow . The part women just cannot seem to grasp is that she is in control.... he will be fulfilled on a steady diet of female authority that goes far beyond his fantasies. SCREW acquiring a taste, cover that oyster with some cocktail sauce and order up a dozen more( on his tab). Live the life of your dreams and enjoy ever morsel of the life he desires for you . Playing to his fantasies is unrealistic and will never satisfy either of you. Relax and be content in your position of authority, do it your way. Learn to focus on expanding your life and become a little better each day. This may not be the FLR of his fantasies but remember your in control . He may throw a few childish fits or even try to back away but I promise he will be back . No man can resist a woman of power especially if it is the woman he loves!
I truly hope my words can change someone's life. THIS IS SOOOO REAL!! It truly can be the key to happiness!
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