Tuesday, July 16, 2019

To My Pizza Author

This is just a quick posting to personally thank you for the well thought out comment.

When the blog was first started back in 2008 I wanted it to be a place for honest discussion about a very sensitive topic. I wanted it to be a safe place for all readers to share honest thoughts without attacking other readers. You, my baby, have struck a special chord with me. Your honesty is more than just refreshing. If gives me cause for self reflection. It gives me cause to look at the way I live with my husband on a day to day basis.

At the initial stage there was self doubts about becoming John's mistress. There was never a doubt in my mind that John needed a life partner whom could be both his wife and mistress. The doubt was alone the lines if I could be that person. And yes, over the years I have learned to be that person. I have learned to like being John's mistress. The personal freedom is a part of it. Yet, what sometimes gives me a guilty conscious is that I have learned to like being in control of another person. In my personal  life I have learned to be more confident in dealing with men. It is not that I want to become their mistress, it is more that I have learned how to deal with them.

One of my personal discoveries is that many so called normal men have something of a submissive side to their personality. If you know how to talk with them you can bring that side out. A smart women understands how to get her way with men. I also believe that many so called normal men have a need for female control that they have learned to suppress. In a sense I can't help wonder if you, my little pizza guy, might be one of these men? I don't know but you and my John are close to the same age.  My John tried to hide his submissive side for a long time. His paid mistress had the know how to develop that submissive side. Instead of role playing she taught him that there was nothing wrong with being a submissive man. She listened to his story. She counseled with him.
She made him one of her houseboys. John paid money for the privilege of cleaning her toilets.
But, she also helped him to more fully understand himself.

If you ask almost any women if she would like to be in a relationship with a submissive man the answer will almost always be negative. If you rephrase the question to something like would you want to be in a relationship with a man who loves you, who wants to please you, and make you the center of his life; the answer may often be quite different. In some ways reading your comment made me feel a little sad for you. If, way back then the rite women had taken you by the hand would your life have turned out differently. Could the rite woman have made you into her submissive? With time and with development of your submissive side could she even have made you into something of her sub husband or even slave? These are questions in which you know the answer to better than me. Then, upon reflection, I wonder if you really do know the answer to these questions.

By the reference to earlier postings you are obviously one my long term readers. And, by the fact that you remember what I said way back when tells me that you are interested in reading femdom material. This is not a criticism as much as it is a hint that maybe you are repressing your submissive nature. If so, I am especially happy that you found the courage to give me your prospective. Yes, I do believe that femdom is a healthy lifestyle choice for many couples. Having said that we are not into what many people call the scene. Except for a few friends from Tara days and family know one knows about the way we live our lives. Carol may guess that John is little henpecked, but she has no idea that he is trained to fall to his knees at the snap of my fingers.

And yes, I do remember the postings from way back when. This gentlemen and I went out several times. In the beginning it wasn't supposed to be a date, but for one reason or the other several coworkers cancelled out at the last minute. That left him and I alone together on a beautiful spring evening. Instead of going to the more formal restaurant my company had booked, we went to one of my little favorites in the quarter. It was one of those special paces where you hear the music playing and the conversation flows from table to table. Walking back to the hotel that evening we came to a busy street. He used that as pretext to take my hand in his. And yes, after all of these years with one man, I enjoyed it. What I don't remember is saying that John was angry. What didn't come out in the blog was that we actually spent a night together. Not only did John know about it, but he packed my overnight bag. I also had him pick me up the next day from the hotel. What John didn't know was that I had made the decision not to see this man again.

The drive back to the house that day was in complete silence. In some ways I wanted John to be angry, but he was only hurt. In a sense I added insult to injury. One of the items I had him pack was my pleated skirt. It was this lovely pleated skirt that had caused him so much consternation. With instruction he had finally learned how to properly iron it. In return I was wearing it for another man.
When we arrived back at the house I had him carry the bag in, unpack it, clean my heels, and  wash the contents. It was important for him to know that I considered myself a free woman even thought every detail of his life was managed. What of course he didn't know back then was that he remained the love of my live, and making him into a cockled  husband was not something that I wanted. It was not the image I had of my self.  After all, I was still my mother's daughter. What would she have thought.

And, so thank you my sweetie for sharing. Thank you for finding the courage to come out of the lurkers closet. And, for all of you who are reading this post please take a moment to thank Pizza Man for sharing his well thought out comment. One of the things we can all acknowledge is that femdom is not for everyone.

Love, Kathy







13 comments:

tiptease said...

Dear Pizza Man thank you very much for your well thought out comment on a post from Ms Kathy.

With regards Tiptease

Anonymous said...

The boomer generation men sometimes seem out of touch with reality. They have this mentality that if only you pulled yourself up by your bootstraps and were alpha enough, you could get women to bend to your will and be the boss. What they overlook is that 50 years ago, women were agreeable dolls and if women didn't do what you wanted, you could probably give them a beating and get away with it. But try that today and you might end up in prison as somebody else's rape toy. In some cases, the wives are the ones giving out the beatings today and getting away with it. When you stop to think about the fact that at one point women had no right to vote, no access to money, this is an extremely impressive accomplishment on their part to have come this far. It is why, we as husbands, are faced with the actual reality of curtsying before our wives, licking their feet and servicing them with our tongues. It also perhaps the strongest proof that female superiority is an actual biological reality.

Joel

Anonymous said...

To Pizza Man,

Thank you for posting some comments that Ms Kathy, in Her Superior Female Wisdom, thinks are worthy of being thanked even though most of us don't understand why.


Alex

Unknown said...

Dear Kathy.
If John is able to remain in the 'command' position for thirty minutes without moving at his time of life he is indeed an exceptional man.

I am aged 68 and because of arthritis in my knees have been told by my doctor never to kneel down again if possible.So sadly that act of submissiveness towards my Wife/Mistress has had to stop.
John

Anonymous said...

Henpecked. "When a cock tries to mount a hen: the hen pecks at the cock thus driving him away. Unable to mate with the hen the cock is said to be henpecked." -- found on literotica.com

I wish I'd seen the posting that Pizza referred to, it sounds wicked. Especially the
part about cleaning and ironing the pleated skirt the next day.

- In Boston

Anonymous said...

Thank you Piazza Man for your thoughtful comments
jj

Anonymous said...

Thank you Madam for your writing since 2008. You are a light on the Internet. You help submissive men and also surely women to better live these new relationships.
It is to you that we owe the quality of the exchanges. You are not our Mistress but you are our choir leader.
Thank you
Michel

Anonymous said...

Ms. Kathy, if you asked women if they would be interested in leading their families (as opposed to being married to a submissive man) how many of them would say "yes"?

The web sites I have seen appear use the term Female Led Relationship.

Tim

Anonymous said...

Terrible marketing. Instead of describing men as "submissive" or "slaves", describe them as potential "followers" for women interested in FLRs.

Tim

Anonymous said...

The Pizza author has an important point. Men are severely constrained by the expectation that they will conform to traditional masculinity. And traditional masculinity permits very little flexibility.

As gatekeepers of sex and reproduction, women are in a position to demand conformity.

Tim

Anonymous said...

Kathy, I was a bit reluctant to send this because some might see it as a sexual trip rather than what it is. We have had almost exactly the experience that you describe with the other man, yourself and John. It was the first time that my wife’s true position became more than theoretical. The point you make about it was none of Johns busines is exactly the point my wife wanted to make. She had written into the contract and I thought at the time it was a throw away clause. But it wasn’t. My Mistress wife is not promiscuous by any means but for whatever reason she put me through having to prepare her and take her to this lovely hotel and pick her up in the morning. My Wife loves me we love each other and this was a clear “I am an independent woman I own you. Trust me and be glad for me “. I can sympathise with how John felt because I’ve been there. The impact wa huge. make or break. While I would not recommend it to them couples I can say that it brought home the reality of FemDom to us. It made us. I am so proud of he My Mistress is so relieved to have heardyiur story Kathy, vexatious think she thought she was alone. Thank you. D & S NZ

Anonymous said...

I have noticed that the Pizza story is being discussed over at "I'm-Hers".

Tim

Anonymous said...

My wife does that too, has me change the sheets and get things ready when she is having a guest over. And clean things up afterwards. It is almost a ritual, and she must know how it helps me to get in the correct frame of mind. I do feel silly asking if i can put my plug in and the other things i have done to put me in beta male mode. We are simple creatures and these women know it.