Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Morning Thoughts............

A quick look at the number of dots connected to this post as well as my work schedule tells me that is time to bring this series to a conclusion. The comments, the emails have all been wonderful. You have all been sweethearts. It takes courage to share. It is time for femdom to come out of the shadows into the mainstream of western culture. It is my hope that in some small way the blog helps promote understanding of this evolving way of living and loving.

While the comments have been great there was one that stayed with me in a special way. In his comment of May 5th James captures so much of the beauty and love associated with femdom relationships. In truth he captures the essence of what is commonly called loving femdom authority.
It is my hope that everyone goes back to read it again and again.

A man gives up control, but gains freedom, James writes. By giving up control men are liberated to follow the dictates of their heart. Whatever woman says that men have no sense of romance or passion needs to read this comment and talk about it with her friends. Then James says that he had no idea that he wanted to bee tamed, trained, and even lovingly enslaved until meeting his wife to be.
What I have always believed is that a strong, confident woman who is willing to take on the responsibilities of leadership can make a man into a better version of himself. (A happier version more content with life, and more connected to his wife and family.) This is the potential gift of femdom to the world. Men want it, but women continue to resist.

In modern society we need to redefine the meaning of the word slave as to include a male who is owned body and soul by a woman who loves him. There should be no higher calling for a man than to be tamed, trained, and lovingly enslaved by a woman. Many happy years breed the conditions for absolute respect and absolute control and trust that are essential for a femdom relationship, James writes. And yes, it is my belief that what James is saying is the truth. In femdom you can't go from A to Z in a few days. It often takes years of work and sacrifice. Women think femdom is only for the benefit of the men, but there are deep satisfactions that come with these relationships.

We want to connect with our men. We want them there as our soul mates. We love to be touched by them. We want them to touch us both physically and spiritually. We want them there for us when the rest of the world is going crazy. And yes, we want their support because even as strong women we need the hand of a loving man by our side. And just as men trust us to do what is best for them we know that they are there for us in our time of need. A loving submissive husband devoted to his wife and family is a treasure.

And, James thank you for being my hero this day. It is my hope that nothing here should embarrass you in the least way.  A big kiss to all of you and especially to those who were kind enough to share.

Love you all,


Kathy





Monday, May 15, 2017

Morning Thoughts.........

'It is not the makeup on  her face, but the makeup of her attitude' that attracts a man to a woman.

If there is one line from the all of the comments that should be repeated time and time again it is this one. Have you have seen a couple and wondered what it is that attacks a nice looking man to a woman like 'that'. I think we all have. It is of course love, but love springs forward from attraction of some type.

Men are first attracted to nice looking women, but beyond that men want to be with women who are smart, confident, and who have the ability to lead them. In many ways this starts back in high school. Sure, it was often the boy who asked the girl out on the first day. Yet, it was the girl that sent signals out to the boy that it was safe to ask her. And, most of the outings were planned by the girls. The boys were often told how to dress,  time for pickup, and where to wait while the girls went in group to the restroom.

The comments are so different than they were in the early years of the blog. Most of the comments are from men who are in some version of a femdom relationship. It my opinion that more and more men are finding the self confidence to open up about their need for control. Women are often accepting of leading men as long as it is not called femdom or by some other label that seems to have a type of kink attached to it. What men fail to realize is that women do not want to be seen by others as being controlling or bossy.


Love, Kathy

Saturday, May 13, 2017

Morning Thoughts.......

Good morning to all of you.

Once again it is the comments that give me food for thought as I relay them back to my own experiences.

Yes, having John eat pages from a magazine seemed to make the point that there would be no more porn in his life, but was it the right thing to do. You can always go back in time to question whether this or that was the right decision, but you can't change things. As a mistress you are the one responsible for making decisions that affect your family. What often seems appropriate at one stage of your life may seem very different when looking back on things. What I tell my daughter is try not to second guess her self. Not all of your decisions will be the best ones.  Just by assuming the role of decision maker and mistress you become something of a hero to David, I tell her.

The comment from Alex gave me pause to think. Some of you are hooked on the internet for the daily offerings that come with it. The comment from Alex made me realize that a few of you may actually be addicted to this blog. My first reaction is that this is not right. The internet world should never replace the real world . A blog by an internet mistress should aid in the relationship with the woman in your life rather than supplant it.  My concern is that men tend to spend too much time on the computer. John is allocated a certain amount of time to serf and relax, but that time is limited.

Almost every where we go there are people looking down at their cell phones ignoring those who are with them. When a husband is in your company there are good reasons for having both his cell phone and his wallet safely parked away in your purse. And, as I tell Becky, take over David's phone every so often just to see who is calling, texting, or emailing him. A well supervised man is usually a well behaved man. A submissive husband in a femdom relationship should have no expectation of privacy from his mistress. It was I'm Hers I believe who once mentioned that every so often Katie will surprise him with a face time call. She has him turn the phone in every direction so that she can see who is with him. In preparing this post I was a little surprised to learn that Becky some times does this with David.  Traveling on business he is required to call her when he is back in his hotel room for the evening. She sometimes surprises him with a face time call an hour or so later. It may surprise many of you, but men appreciate this type of supervision from their mistress.

In was back in 2007 that John  became aware of several femdom blogs on the internet that he thought had value.  He asked  permission to follow them. Before giving permission I needed to see what he was asking for. It was during the review that I came aware of the blog by Fd and one or two others that seemed to have value.  While I enjoyed reading many of the comments there was something missing. What I noticed was that there were no comments from women. The reaction to my comments was over whelming. What was clear to me was that men were looking for input from women. Not only was it wanted, they were desperate for it.

It was John who suggested that I write a blog based on our experiences. My fist reaction was negative as the idea of a sex blog was repulsive to me. Then it occurred to me that femdom is really about relationships. I am not so old or so foolish as not to realize that there is a sexual component to femdom, but for me at least it is primarily about relationships. When I talk with Becky it is about relationships. Yes, I know that David came to her with a request to be locked. What do you think mom, she asked. If you feel it is good for the relationship than go with it, I told her. Anything beyond wanting them to give  me grand children is more than I  need to know. Like my John, David is a sweet man who has a distinct need for female authority in his life. A problem for Becky is that she has no friends in the lifestyle.

More than anything else it was the friends in the lifestyle who made the difference for me. These were the women who went to Tara with their husbands for education. She formed them int her 'new comers' group. It gave them a chance to talk with one another, share stories, and sometimes cry together. By invitation I became part of that group.

The last point to make this morning is that I am neither a super hero or a mortar. John may have committed infidelities, but he knew that I would not be willing to accept him as my submissive.
The reality of John's situation was simply that a paid mistress was the only way forward for him.
 My reality was  having either an up happy marriage with a man who needed a mistress, or learning to be the mistress my husband needed. The  lesson I learned was talk to your husband. Talk with him every day. Be open with him and encourage him to be open with you.



Love, Kathy

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Morning Thoughts....

It is the comments more than anything else that keeps me attached to the blog. This morning there were so many great comments that I hardly know where to start.

Many of the comments over the years have praised me for finding a way to stay with the marriage in the face of John's infidelity. John made a mistake as we all do from time to time. Yet, coming home from that first visit with Tara my heart was crushed. For so many years there had been a 'we', now there was only a 'he' and a 'she'. The fact that at that we were no longer a couple opened a chiasm in my heart that was wider than the grand canon. Turning into my drive way that day of the first meeting with Tara I stopped the car to look at the big empty house in front of me. The house seemed so large and so lonely. Through out the meeting with Tara and the drive home I was able to keep my composure. At that moment in the driveway I broke down into tears.

Looking at the house my mind wondered back to all of the good times we had there. I thought of the family dinners with the children, the Christmas mornings opening presents and realized that those times were over. I also remembered the words my mother  spoke to me while helping  in the kitchen. Marriages are made in heaven, but lived on earth she would tell me. Marriages, she told me, need to be worked at.  There will be difficult times she warned. As I grew older she talked more about relationships. Catholic wives are supposed to be the heart and soul of a family. It was the wife she told me who was charged with the responsibility of infusing the Holy Spirit into the family. Exactly how I was to do this was always something of a mystery, but those words stayed with me.

That first meeting in the studio lasted well over an hour. For me it was a surreal experience. The nearly naked house boys- older men coming and going  politely responding to every instruction were something from another world. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined grown men acting as subservient toward  women as they were with us. My heart skipped a beat when I realized that until a few days earlier John had been one of these servile males clinging to Tara's every word waiting for her next command. 'Why', I asked myself. At that moment there was no good answer.

In that first meeting Tara did almost all of the talking. Those of you who have followed the blog from the beginning may recall the words she repeated to me. 'At least he is not an axe murderer' she would say. It took me a little while to realize what she was trying to tell me. There are a lot worse things in the world than being a submissive man. In a recent comment I'm Hers asked if I was happy living as a mistress wife. The answer is yes, but it took some time. In the world I grew up in the man was supposed to be the leader. The wife was supposed to be the support person taking care of everyone else.

From Tara's prospective the purpose of the meeting was to tell me that John's behavior was perfectly normal. The world is full, she told me, of men who want nothing more than to live as obedient servants to women. Is that such an evil thing she would then say. The problem she told me is that society expects men to be in charge, to be the leaders. Not only society at large she said, but wives and girl friends want the traditional type of husband or boy friend. Toward the end of that first meeting she invited me to come to studio on a regular basis to work with the clients so that I could learn what the world of dominance and submission was all about.

Siting in the drive way that afternoon I knew the answer to Tara's invitation.


Love you all,


Kathy

Sunday, May 7, 2017

Morning Thoughts...

Well, here it is Sunday morning. With John now retired the routine of our lives has changed. The days, the weeks, and the months seem to fly by. I have been working part time, on and off, for the last couple of years. There is always work for me when I want it. It is nice to have work experiences that are in demand. I can't imagine staying home eating bom-boms everyday, growing fat and old supervising a husband while he cleans.

The truth of the matter is that John has developed out side interest. He plays golf and volunteers his time as a docent at a local museum. Some of the blogs preach the idea of the house husband who is not allowed social interest outside of the home. For me this is concept is repulsive. Men need guy friends. They need to be with other men where they can do guy things. Many of the fantasy books talk about the idea of feminizing men into some type of sissy version of themselves. What woman, what wife would want that.

I very much enjoyed reading the comments to this current series of posting. Most men have spells of rebellion in them. There are times when John is less submissive than others. Alex made the comment that reading the blog causes his submissive side to come out. The entire idea of male submission remains a mystery to me. The studio was an artificial environment where the guys came for an hour or so to bow, kiss feet, and take orders from women. Submission in the real world if much more complicated.

In the real world a wife must learn to handle a husband when he is having those alpha moments.
A husband can ask for play time which is fine. Yet, in a more serious femdom marriage a wife can not let the husband decide which days he should serve and obey, and which days the rules of the house do not apply. I have had emails from wives who have given their guys orders to do things only to be yelled at by them. Is there any wonder that there are not more femdom marriages?

If a couple works at femdom it is possible for each of them to grow in their respective roles. This is what happened with John and I. The studio experience for John was more than just an hour here and then. He was one of Tara's house boys who came to do serious work. He cleaned, he painted, he cut grass and took care of her plants. He spent many nights sleeping in her kennel while he was supposedly on business trips. Yet, as serious as this experience was he knew that he could always leave without repercussions.

In a marriage where the wife controls all of the financial assets, has most property in her name things are different. When John came home the advice given to me was to make it 'real'. Make John understand that when he accept you as his mistress there is no turning back. Make sure that femdom is not a game that he can turn on or off as his mood dictates. As our relationship developed in the first year or two I began to see the importance of protocols and rules. Whether in a so called submissive frame of mind or not John was expected to follow orders.

In the beginning there were more times in which he was punished. He was learning. We were both learning. My friends told me not to worry about punishing him. Make sure he understands that punishment if for real. Make sure he realizes that any failure to accept punishment could result in the end of our femdom relationship, and perhaps our marriage. We know there would be alpha moments. Yet, we also knew that John needed a mistress in order to be happy. And yes, in the beginning I very much felt the weight of that responsibility.

Love, Kathy

Friday, May 5, 2017

Morning Thoughts..

Good morning to all of you. And, most of all a big thank you to those of you who were kind enough to share. Once again we have been favored with a well thought out comment from Mistress Sandra.
As much as I love her commenting on Femdom 101 she should have her own blog. She has a lot of good things to say. It is my hope that both Mistress Sandra and Mistress Diane come by often to say hello. Please thank them both for their contributions.

One of the points that Mistress Sandra makes is that within the femdom community there is a wide variety of relationships. Some forms of femdom are so mild that they resemble vanilla relationships.
Our neighbor Carol comes by once or twice a week for coffee. She sees and hears me giving simple instruction to John such as make another pot of coffee, or do this and that. It is easy for her to see that John takes orders from me, but she has no idea that we practice things like Command Position, or that he has so little freedom of choice in his life. She would be astounded to know that he lives as my sweet little slave boy.

As all of you know my baptism into dominance and submission was in the studio. What attracted me to femdom was the sweetness of the clients. In the studio men felt free to lower their guard showing their true self. We had doctors, lawyers, and all soughs of professional men who came to us. Most of them wanted nothing more than a safe environment where they could be free to be the person they wanted to be. A part of what we did was ask them questions. Would you like to live as a woman's slave was a typical question. Would you like to  live as your wife's slave was a follow up question.To my surprise the answers were often positive and well though out. You could tell that the gentlemen had been thinking about the question long before it was asked.

Some of the men who came to us were afraid to embrace the submissive side of their personality.
On the outside they were sometimes aggressive toward women. It was kind of  a defense mechanism Tara told me. She also felt like the woman who could break through that outer defense mechanism could have a loyal husband for ever. Her own husband was something like this. He came to her as a client. He has emotional issues she told me. On the outside he acted like an alpha male. On the inside there was a sweet obedient man trying to come out. He spent so much time with Tara that there was no way he could afford to pay her. She fell for him and he became her live in submissive. In her words she tamed him.

"For men there is something appealing about the idea of being tamed by a confident women."

The last sentence was put in quotation marks for a reason. It is a good discussion point. Have any of you ever been tamed? Have any of you wished to be tamed by a woman?

Giving up freedom of choice is a big step for a man to take, yet some men are willing to do it.

 These are questions to ask your self. If you have the courage to share please do.

Love you all,

Kathy


Kathy4563@gmail.com

Thursday, May 4, 2017

Morning Thoughts.

This morning I had to laugh.

One of the sections of Yahoo that I sometimes like to read is Dear Abbey. This morning the question came from a woman who was tired of seeing her brother 'bullied' by his wife. According to the sister her brother is totally controlled by his wife who is several years younger. She controls who he is allowed to socialize with, his free time, and even what clothes he can wear along with his work schedule. Abbey's response was something to the effect 'is he complaining'. If not she advised the sister not to say anything. On the surface Abbey seems to have missed the obvious point that this woman's bother is a submissive man living with a mistress wife.

In spite of the internet and all the material that are easily available vanilla people do not understand dominance and submission or femdom marriage. Most women are not even aware that there are submissive men in the world. They are usually sweet men who need the authority of a woman in their life. No wonder so many marriages end in divorce. The title of my blog Femdom 101 is meant to sound something like a basic course taught in a university or college. There should be a place where women can go to safely learn  about submissive men in a pre Cana type instruction. My two basic psychology courses said nothing about wives taking control of their husbands. My introduction to femdom came as an unpaid intern in the studio. In the time I spent working there I learned more about men and women than at any other time in my life.

The studio was indeed a dominatrix type of place when men paid for services. What made it special was that it gave men much more than a type of dungeon experience. The mistress owner understood that the real way to control men was through the mind rather than the whip. She talked  at length with her clients. She learned their hopes as well as their fears. She knew how to make the experience as real as possible. She is the one who taught me the value of basic commands such as Command Position. One of the things I quickly observed was that men loved to be placed in what was a most humiliating position. In that simple position with the toes, knees, and elbows on the ground the woman is in total control. The male is trained to remain complexly motionless until being allowed the privilege of rising. 

When John first came home we practiced 'Command Position' on a daily basis. It was not so much about simply learning the position as it was conditioning him to automatically  respond  to the signal. It is easy for a man to respond to command in the privacy of the home, but the trick is to have them so conditioned that they instantly respond in any environment at any time. In the studio a man would be slapped if he waited a second or decided to take a quick look around before executing the command.

As a training tool the concept of Command Position is that a man should instantly obey the instructions of any female any place any time. The idea is that a woman's commands should never be second guessed. Even in the studio I could see how this type of training tended to build us a sense of trust in the clients. After a few sessions of intense training men would become more obedient in a general type of way. In the military basic soldiers learn how to drill and march to commands of senior officers. It is not really about learning to drill as much as it is about teaching them to follow orders.

In recent years John and I have gotten away from the daily use of Command Position. In the kitchen that morning my sense told me that it was time to remind John that he was still my little slave boy who was subject to my every command. Yes, he needed that. And yes, if submissive men have the feeling that mistress no longer cares they often become grumpy and even petulant or envious of the freedoms of an eighteen year old.

Love, Kathy

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

Morning Thoughts

It is Tuesday morning and I am enjoying my first day off from work in quite some time.

The reality of our life has changed a great deal during the past several months. My sweet husband is now fully retired-no longer a wage slave. On the other hand I am still employed. Having a full time house husband is quite different from sharing one with a job. It is an adjustment for both of us, but in the long run it will be good.

Over the weekend a neighbor friend came over for coffee. She opened the conversation by saying that her eighteen year old son purchased a car. It was a used car with high millage, but she was proud of the fact that her son purchased it with his own money. Some of the money came from allowances, family gifts, and that type of thing, but much of the money came from his summer jobs.
With a little bit of a smile I asked when he was going to show it off to us. "Oh, he is driving all over taking his friends for rides and talking about how it can be fixed up", she replied.

Most of this conversation occurred while John was emptying the dishwasher and putting up the breakfast dishes. He, like most men loves to listen in on female conversations even when he does not  take part in them. When you live with a man for a long time you can tell when he is thinking about something. What is on your mind, sweetie, I asked him. At first his reply was a simple 'O nothing' type of answer. Then he said I was thinking about Carol's eighteen year old son. In what way, I asked John. 'Well, he is only eighteen and he has more spending money and freedom than I have' he said.

John's response made me laugh a little, but in another way it was surprising to see that he was envious of this young man. It was then my turn for a 'well' type answer. 'Well, a long time ago you gave up freedom to become my slave', I reminded him. 'It was a choice you made" I emphasized.
'Do you regret it', I asked. 'No mistress' he reopened, but in some ways I could tell he was envious of the young man's freedom to go where he pleased and spend money as he wished.

At that moment my 'mistress' intuition kicked in. I snapped my fingers bringing John to Command Position. In things like yoga and body pump classes it is referred to as a child pose, except there is no talking unless answering a direct questions, and the guy is not allowed movement until given permission. It is something we both learned in the studio. Over the years I have appreciated the value of training a man with this simple hand command. In no uncertain terms it lets a man know who is in control and who is not.

After placing him in Command Position I continued for several minutes with my computer and coffee while he remained in place. I needed to remind him of what it felt like to be a slave-to be my slave.
After a few more minutes I again reminded him that giving up freedom was his decision, and that as long as we were married he would remain my little slave boy. He might be seventy or eighty years old I told him, but he would always be my little slave boy. And, although this might seem foolish John sometimes needs to hear that from me. Men in general some times need firm talk from their wives and mistresses. It assures them of their place in the relationship.

Although the house was already clean, I knew it was a good time to assign chores. This morning I told him I want the kitchen and guest bath room cleaned. I want this done before you do anything else. 'Do you hear me', I asked. 'Yes mistress' he responded. 'You may then kiss my feet,  get  naked  and get  to it' I told him. 'And, while working I want to hear slave whistling', I instructed him.

Love, Kathy

Monday, April 17, 2017

Monday Morning

The last posting was meant to be kind of fun. One of the sometimes problems with this blog is it takes some things too seriously. As long as it doesn't bother a wife having a guy wear panties or pretty little outfits can be a fun thing to do. If he had his way John would go panty shopping every week. Yes, he is embarrassed, humiliated and such to be in the plus size shop, but he loves the feeling of excitement that comes with it. And yes, while I can't explain it, the feeling of embarrassment is a part of his pleasure.

Working in the studio I quickly learned that guys love to be shown off in their prettiest underwear. It was fun to take them around the studio and have them show their panties to whatever female might be available at the moment. From a practical standpoint keeping your guy in panties helps to control his weight and encourages exercise. It has been about a year since one of my 'special' girl friends had a get together. Her husband served the group. She asked if John might be available to lend a hand. Helping to serve lunch and wine for a half dozen women is a 'dream' activity for a submissive man, and I knew that John would be delighted with the prospect.

Men take pride in their appearance. This is even more so when they know that women will be looking at their bare bodies. Prior to the time of John's visits with the dominatrix he had been slowly gaining weight. Tara gave him the nick name of 'jellybean' and we went on a diet. During the years of serving Tara he managed to louse most of the weight he had previously gained. At the time I was pleased with his exercise and weight loss program. Of course I had no idea what motivated him. A part of John's supervision is a weekly weigh in.

As simple and lame as it may sound but keeping a man in panties will often motivate him to keep his body in shape



Love you for reading.


Kathy



Sunday, April 16, 2017

Happy Easter..

Easter is one of my favorite times of the year. The weather is warm yet the oppressive heat associated with the summer months is yet to come. What I miss about this day is what it was like when the children were young, and excited about the prospect of finding candy baskets in discreetly hidden places. Yesterday I surprised John with a special little gift that was over due. I took him shopping for  panties at the plus size store. This is embarrassing for him but he still treasurers the excitement that comes along with the experience. It is always special when the young sales associate says something like, 'oh, for him', and then proceeds to point us toward the merchandise. 'He usually takes size ten I graciously point out, and then ask if the store has anything cute in that size'. Sales associates in women's stores are more helpful toward male shoppers than with women. We often hear something like don't  feel bad, you would be surprised by the number of men we have shopping here.

I believe many women would be surprised by the number of men who secretly wear women's underwear under their clothing. Once a gentlemen told me it is about how it makes him feel to wear panties. It helps bring our the softer, more submissive side of his personality he told me. He didn't understand it, but it somehow relaxes him to wear pretty lacy things under his male clothing. This gentlemen though of it as a special treat. Women complain that they are restricted by traditional rules of conduct, and are proud of throwing off the yoke of that repression. As I like to tell some of my girl friends men have also been restricted. Why can't a man wear something pretty and sweet. Why can't a man come out and say he likes to be with a lady who bosses him or simply takes the lead in a relationship.

Happy Easter. Thank you reading. Than you for sharing and being a part of the Femdom 101 community. Also, if any of you have not read the April 7th posting on Femdom Think Tank it is really excellent. Mz Kaylee compares femdom to a warm cozy blanket on a cold day. She talks about the importance of being consistent with authority and control. Every women whether in a femdom relationship or not should read her words. Men need a certain amount of consistency from the lady in their life. Femdom is not a game or a role to be played on certain days of the week. What I tell my daughter is that being a mistress wife is who your are. It is what your husband needs. 'Do you feel good about being David's mistress', I have asked her. 'Yes, most of the time she has responded', but their are the time  she feels guilty and then there are those times when she feels put upon for having to be the person who makes the decisions. A couple of the male responses on Miss Kaylee's posting were also to the point. Men are becoming aware of the responsibility that comes with being a mistress. Some of them appreciate it, some of them do not. And, after you read her posting take a few minutes to thank her and share some of your thoughts with her.


Love, Kathy



Saturday, April 15, 2017

Happy Easter.

Thank all of you have been kind enough to keep this blog from being a monologue.

It may surprise many you, but the comment from Anonymous  making the statement that having  John eat pages from femdom magazines as mean spirited was to a large degree on point.
While I never fell out of love with John there was a lot of resentment and anger. Yes, I needed him back in my life, and yes it was important to make sure he understood that I was his new mistress. Yet, there was also this feeling that he needed to be punished. In his wildest fantasy eating pages from a magazine was never something he wanted. It took me a long time to understand the difference between being a dominatrix and a mistress who loves her man.

The episode with the hair ribbon was more about anger. John, I knew, would never had talked back to Tara or any of her girls in the manner in which he used with me. Was my reaction over blown and overly punitive? The simple answer after all of these years is a 'maybe'. A less submissive may have rebelled against a wife who ordered him to parade around all day while sporting a brightly colored ribbon for all to see and laugh at. Yet, John obeyed, and in the end I was proud of him for doing so. The experience also brought us closer together as a femdom couple. It helped to establish me as his mistress and him as the loving, obedient husband we both wanted him to become. That night in the hotel room he knelt and thanked me for punishing him. Based on the positive attitude toward the punishment he was forgiven. The good news for John was that forgiveness meant he did not have to wear the ribbon the next day.

On the days and weeks following the hair ribbon episode John displayed a more attentive more caring attitude toward me. In the studio John was taught the importance of always showing deference toward women. If a mistress was talking to another woman he was taught to stand, wait in silence until given instruction.  He was taught never to interrupt women who were talking and never speak directly with another male in the presence of a woman. In the year or so since he came home from the studio John had gotten away from some of his training. I was lax in enforcing the training he received in the studio. In those twelve or so months he lost much of his fear toward me. The New York experience taught him that his wife's authority was real and that she was a person whom he should respect and to some extent fear. On the blog I have always said that a little fear of a wife or mistress is a good thing.

If was after the New York experience that I came to realize the importance of never taking the training and discipline of a submissive man for granted. If you as a wife make rules for a husband to follow make sure that he follows them. And, as I communicated to Becky, submissive men want to know that you are enforcing the rules. It requires effort and it requires a certain amount of patience.
If the rule is no interrupting mistress and he interrupts make sure there is some type of penance.
For whatever reason women are embarrassed to give their husbands corner time. Why, I don't know as it is the husband who should be embarrassed rather than the wife.

Once again hope all of you have a good Easter. As one taught femdom is not really about punishment, but for a good effective relationship some degree of punishment is a necessity. It must be real punishment such as loss of privileges, corner time or what ever rather than the fun punishment guys want to have. And, whatever one may think of the hair ribbon episode it was not a fun type punishment for John.

Love you,


Kathy

Thursday, April 13, 2017

Happy Easter

It has been several weeks since my last posting, and at the moment there is some uncertainty as to which direction the blog will take. In the past, after a take down of blog materials, I had been warned by at least one person that he had made copies of all postings. Why would he want that, I wondered, and why would he be warning me in such a sinister type of way. Most of the men who read this blog are very sweet, and very respectful.

Reading the free sample from Amazon brought memories as well as tears back to me. The first take down of the blog material was because of my daughter. Back them there were things that we were not ready to share with her. Since that time Becky has herself developed into a mistress to her husband, and has been made more aware of her family's past. As she slowly developed from wife to mistress wife it was important for her to understand what John and I had going through. Over the last few years we have talked together so many times about so many things that there are virtually no longer any secrets from her.

One of the things Becky understands is that her parents are people, ordinary people, with flaws.
We are people who have always tried to do the right thing, but we are not perfect. Her father made a mistake by seeing a paid dominatrix, and her mother made mistakes in the way she handled things. Never the less we were able to raise two beautiful well rounded children who both have a love of life and a fear of God. Like both John and I our children have a love of family, and care for the good of those who are around them.

As has often been said on this blog femdom is not for everyone. There are, however, men in the world who need the benefit of a mistress in their lives. For them the world works best when that mistress person is also a woman whom they love and who loves them. Being a Christian I still think in terms of marriage, but will admit that is not always the situation. There are very loving women who write to me talking about their boy friends. What does bother me is the exploitation of submissive men for financial gain. The only place for financial control is within the context of a marriage when it is done for the long term good of the relationship.

One of things I have learned is that the male ego is fragile. While men want female control in their life they are afraid to make an admission of it.  Once they admit to a need for female control most men want to keep it private. One of the things that I admire John for is his courage in opening up to our family. He was never really forced to do this, it just sought of happened. And, it is my thinking that more couples should open up about the way they live. Once again this is not about sex as much as it is about a way of life. As much as I love men, and love to be around them there is a certain beauty, a certain type of caring associated with femininity that shows itself in families that are female led.

Living in female led type families brings out certain traits in men that is often suppressed in more traditional marriages. I can see this more in Becky's marriage than in my own. I can see the difference that femdom has made in Becky's husband. He is happier, more relaxed with life and more focused on the quality of their lives than simply making a living. He takes pleasure in serving her. He is also proud to be her husband, and proud to be her helpmate. A little while back Becky shared with me a short story about a mistake she made which actually tuned out for the good.

As the story was relayed to me David's sister and her husband were visiting. The guys decided they wanted a certain type of craft beer which had to purchased from a store in a close by strip mall.
Since David's brother in law was a guest in the house Becky quickly made the decision to pay for the beer. Without really thinking she sent David to the bedroom to get her purse. On weekends and evenings Becky keeps David's wallet in her purse. Seeing Becky remove David's wallet from the purse the sister made a comment as to how well she had him trained. At that moment Becky felt she had absent mindedly made a mistake.  Instead,  David simply said yes she does and the guys went off to buy the beer.

What Becky thought of as a mistake turned out be something of a watershed moment. While the guys were away Becky felt the need to explain a little to his curious sister. To Becky's surprise the conversation went very well, and his sister was very receptive. She even made the remark that David needs that type of thing. Hope that all of you with Christian background have a good  Easter. For John and I Easter and good Friday has become a time to renew our faith as well thank the Lord for all the blessing he has given us. For those of you who follow other than Christian faiths it is my hope that there are also special times of the year for you.

Love you all for reading.

Kathy


Thursday, April 6, 2017

Through the years of doing the blog there have been a number of ups and downs. One of the things I never dreamed with happen is some one taking my story, and turning it into a femdom type of novel.
I have not purchased the book, but have read the free preview as provided on Kindle. Some parts of this book appear to have been taken word for word from the blog. While John has been changed to Jack the person doing the plagiarism didn't even bother to change the names of my daughter, her husband or Tara. I am in process of consulting an attorney. In the mean time I thought it better to remove all material from the blog.

Love you all for reading. Love you for sharing. If anyone has any specific information please share it with me.


Love, Kathy
Someone has turned my life story into a femdom book. A couple of names have been changed, but in many places entries from the blog have been copied word for word. In response to this plagurism I have taken the blog down.


Kathy