Tuesday, October 10, 2017

The Notebook.....

Anyone who has read the recent post will think that punishment sessions are a major part of any femdom relationship. For some couples this may be true. Yet, for John and I punishment sessions are very rare. The simple truth is that John is a very sweet, loving man who consistently tries his best to please me. It is difficult for me to recall the last time, if ever, he willingly disobeyed me. We have had a few cases of 'talking back". We have had times when he has been 'pouty', and the surest way to correct that type of behavior is corner time combined with a lecture and loss of privileges. Taking away a sporting match on the television, or something like a golf outing will usually adjust his attitude. Becky has learned to do the same with David, and she is quick to take away his weekly allowance when necessary. One of the ideas I have stressed to her is that financial control is an essential ingredient to a successful femdom marriage.

One of the things that really surprised her was my description of many of the men who came into the studio. For the most part they were sweet men who needed something that they couldn't get at home.
Either the wives said no, or in most cases they were afraid to ask. Most of the men who came into the studio were not BDSM types into leather and whips or things like that. They were the ordinary men you meet on the street. The men could have been you banker, your doctor, or delivery person. In the studio the men came from all walks of life, but to afford the studio most of them needed to have a wll paying job. There were men who came into the studio who just wanted to kneel at a woman's feet while confessing their inner need to submit. While, I thought, these men are telling me secrets that even their wives don't know. It didn't take long for me to develop a certain empathy for them. They were submissive, they needed a fruit that was forbidden to them by society. Yet, they were sweet men. They would not harm a soul. As Tara first said to me they are not ax murders.

Over a short amount of time I came to enjoy the company of the studio clients. And yes, I know that Tara spoon fed me the softer ones-the ones who were most like my baby. Why don't you ask your wife, I would say. The response was usually she would not understand. Sometimes thought the response was she wants nothing to do with femdom. Yet, there were these other women who came to the studio with their husbands. They came to watch, learn, and participate in the development of their husband's submissive personality. Under Tara's tutelage these women were formed into a little group. It is so important to have a friend in the lifestyle. In the beginning I told my daughter not to make this journey alone. Whatever you do, I told her, find a friend to make the journey with you.

As most of you know I was invited to join this special group of women. It was these women who gave me the courage to apply what had been learned in the studio to my home situation. In those days we met once a week, we talked on the phone almost every day. They became some of my best friends. We shared one another secrets, we laughed together, and there were times when we cried together. What we had in common was a willingness to use femdom as a way of improving our marriages. I dare say that none of us were what is referred to as natural dominants.

Over time, and over many conversations, Becky learned to over come her fears. Like me she never came to understand the why of femdom. She, however, came to realization that it is real. And, like the women in the group had to face the challenge of living with a man who had found the courage to have the talk with her.

Love you all for reading. Love you for sharing.


Kathy

9 comments:

Greg said...

Dear Kathy. I will never tire of reading, and learning about Tara's studio. I feel like I missed out on so much by not being there myself as a client. I would have loved to be in the presence of numerous women who were watching me be trained to properly serve a mistress.

Anonymous said...

Love you for posting, Ms Kathy. These words inspire me. Thank you.

Jake
UK

Beta bob said...

Dear Kathy, another thoughtful post. Thank you. The "why" of flr/femdom intrigues me. I have a few thoughts about why I desire it, and I wonder what other men have to say about this. Would you please take up this topic some day? I suspect that you will get many interesting responses.

Anonymous said...

Kathy - you had mentioned in your previous posting that you would like for us to share about femdom and increased intimacy between couples. I know that moving into a femdom marriage has increased our intimacy in at least 3 ways.

1) Prior to beccoming a femdom marriage,my inability to speak to my wife about my desires for femdom was a barrier between us. Now that barrier is gone and I am permitted to add to the ways I am intimate with her. In public I open and close car doors for her, I carry her purse when she wants. In private I feel great being able to kneel before her, to kiss her feet, give her foot and body massages, in bed I can't help but always having my body touch hers, etc. And I know this also increases her feelings of intimacy with me.

2) Since she has become Head of our household our arguments have all but disappeared. Before, arguments would last for days and again drive a wedge between us. No more. I must accept her decision with obedience and enthusiasm.

3) Finally, and certainly not least, we practice male chastity. She doesn't have me wear a device, but I can only orgasm with her explicit permission ( I think it adds to her sense of empowerment and my submission). And she does not allow me to orgasm very often - about once a month (I confess that I used to masturbate multiple times daily :( ). Moreover, I cannot even touch myself without her permission. The focus now is on her and her pleasure through intimate touch and kissing. I think I get more of a thrill when she has an orgasm than when I am allowed to have one. Male chastity has caused me to have a constant desire and need for her - I am always touching, kissing, holding hands. (I think sometimes she would like for me to lay off a little. But I can't help it. I adore her.)

I am sure there are other ways that femdom has added to our intimacy, but these are some of the main ways I can think of now.
vic

Gigi said...

Ms. Kathy,

Can you talk more about the surrendered husband you mentioned? What are the traits of one of those? How is the wife of one of those? Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Kathy
Loss of privileges usually does it for me when I act up or get an attitude. My wife wouldn’t allow me to work on a hobby for a couple of weeks when I gave her back talk over the summer. It is true that punishment doesn’t have to be physical to be effective. Sometimes my wife just needs to give me a look and that’s enough for me. My wife sort of outed me when we were on vacation a few years ago to a person she had chatted with for long periods of time. The person was a stranger who does not know us personally so maybe being outed isn’t the right phrase, but the women picked up on the fact that I looked upset (I was), and my wife told her she wouldn’t let me buy something. My wife generally told the woman in no uncertain terms that she’s boss in our home and have I do what she says. She didn’t elaborate more but my wife basically did it as sort of punishment that I could think about because now the lady knew that about our relationship and we saw her and her husband more times during the vacation.

Anonymous said...

In a real world FLR, it is amazing how little need there actually is for punishment, simply because she is the gate keeper of all of the funds. There have been times of frustration where I wanted to act out but was to scared to do so because the funds are in her name. If I want to do even the small thing outside the normal, she needs to be asked nicely to "generously" provide the money out of what was originally my own paycheck, and if she is in a bad mood, forget it. Also, never forget that she is also the gatekeeper of physical intimacy.

So without any real power, I have zero control of the decisions, and for all practical purposes, I feel like a married woman in an Islamic country.

Joel

Anonymous said...

Joel,
You nailed it. When we went to the bank and adjusted everything so that my check would into her account I was fine with it, but had such submissive feelings. When I agreed to my wife controlling the money much of my power was gonee

Gigi said...

Please, please, please post anything!!! But post!