As I do not want to take the risk of putting sassy pants to sleep, I will try to keep this posting as short as possible.
There were some really good comments on the last posting. Little Shaun makes the comment that his wife will probably never have him under her complete control. This may be true. However, since she has the confidence to punish him, to a large degree she must have him under her thumb. My guess is that she has found the rite balance in their relationship. Different women give their men different amounts of freedom. She has found the balance of authority and control over Little Shaun that works best for her.
Often times men simply don't understand how much confidence it takes for a women to give a man an order. You need to have a very basic confidence that your man will do as told. Any little back talking from a guy can shake a women's confidence level. It takes even more confidence to punish a man. You think to your self is this big, strong, six foot man going to really kneel in a corner because I am ordering him to do so.
Last week I talked about Karen taking the whip to her guy. During the week I asked Karen how she felt when she picked up the whip. I asked her if she wondered if her guy would accept the whip. This was real punishment, real pain. He could have grabbed the whip from her hand. After all he is bigger and stronger than she is. Karen told me that the look on his face told her that he was going to accept what ever whipping she decided to give him. She told me that the look was hard to describe, but it was the look of fear. Her guy knew he had been doing something wrong, and he could sense the high degree of anger in her attitude. In this case Karen's anger helped give her the added confidence needed to deal with her man's misbehavior.
I always love reading the comments by Plaything. He has been married to his mistress for 23 years. He sounds like a very sweet boy that has been well trained and disciplined over the years of his marriage. What women don't understand is that sweet, well trained men like Plaything are a joy to own. It is not just about cleaning house. These men are there when you need them. You don't need to worry about them cheating on you, or doing something they shouldn't be doing. I love to hear a man talk about how proud he is when one of his wife's fiends makes nice comments about him. Twenty three years after they were married he loves his wife as much as he did on the first day. To me this is what fem/dom marriages are all about.
Another thing men do not always understand is that it takes work to train a man. Yes, it is worth it. I would suspect in twenty three of years of marriage Plaything's wife has put a great deal of effort into his training. It takes a high degree of discipline to keep a man on track for twenty three years. When you love a man it is all worth while. Remember the posting from the summer before last titled Training the Champs. I would guess that Plaything is one of those champs.
After Plaything I was pleased to read the comment by Forever hers. Forever hers and his mistress have been in their relationship for only two months. What impressed me was that even in a vanilla setting he understands that his wife is the one who is in charge. This is what people don't seam to under stand about fem/dom relationships. Yes, the female is in charge twenty four hours a day. However, that doesn't mean she is constantly bossing her man around. Yes, Forever understands that one of the worse punishments his mistress can give him is just to leave him alone. The silent treatment will drive a man crazy in a day or two. This is a simple, real punishment tool that any women can use.
Well, I will talk more about punishment in the next posting. Once again, at the risk of putting my little pet from South Florida to sleep, I will end this session here. For whatever reason I get the feeling there are more women reading this blog than the comments woulds suggest. I would love to her from you. What has worked for you as far as punishing your man. How does punishing a guy make you feel?
Love, Mistress Kathy
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
When All The Excitement Is Gone
Of course this blog is all about fem/dom relationships, and how women are taking more control of their lives and of their men. There was a commercial on television this evening that made me think that the trend toward fem/dom type relationships is moving faster than many of us thought possible.
The commercial was for a popular insurance company. The commercial involves a perky young lady and a middle age couple. The commercial displays the couple talking to the lady about automobile insurance. What is different is that the man is holding a purse, and the wife has her hands and arms completely free. When they are finished talking, the young lady says something to the effect that you won't have to carry the purse any more. The comments than make it obvious that the wife has given the purse, or European carry bag, to her husband. It was one of those beautiful fem/dom moments that make the male want to hide under his wife's skirts. It surprised me that this type of commercial made the main stream media.
I feel badly for 'dense' husband. He had the start of what I thought was going to be a very good blog. He seams like a very nice, sensitive person, but it appears that the attention scared him off. That is a shame. It was not what I intended to do by mentioning his blog. If he does read this posting, I would like him to email me. It was one of those blog postings that really made you sit back and think about relationships. Sometimes you forget how hard it is for a male to make the statement to the world that yes, he is a submissive man, for the very first time.
I read the blogs. What I see is that there are a great many married couples who treat FLM or fem/dom type marriages as a game. They even schedule play time. For John and I fem/dom is a way of life. It doesn't mean I am bossing John around 24 houses a day, but it does mean that I am always the boss. It also means that John has respect for the authority I have over him.
It means that in our daily life John gives me complete obedience. If he is told to cut the grass today instead of tomorrow he does it, he doesn't ask why. He doesn't need to know. He only needs to know that his mistress wife has given him an order. Some people might say that my view of the world is jaded, but to me the world would be a better place if more men had this type of relationship with their wives. What I believe is that it is perfectly natural for a women to be head of house, and for her spouse to acknowledge that fact. Fem/dom is a relationship that is conducive to good family values, and is an excellent role model for children.
The first time a man kneels in front of his wife it tends to change the nature of the relationship. The day John came home he knelt at my feet. It was not a game. He got down on two knees because he was told to do so, and he knew it was the correct thing to do. It was not fem/dom play, it was a very serious moment for both of us. Yes, for women, if you want to have a serious conversation with you guy, have him kneel at your feet. Make sure he is on both knees. Require him to kneel straight up like a man, and not allow him to slouch back.
One of my favorite blogs is Being Her Knight . The posting entitled 'Beg Me to Keep You Collared' struck a nerve. I made a long comment. Disciplining a man may be part of a FLM, and certainly there are often good reasons to punish a man. Never the less, I think we, as women, want to see a man suffer something for the privilege of belonging to us. It might be a whipping, or some form of humiliation, ow what ever, but we want to see them pay some type of a price.
When John came back into the house, the kennel was waiting for him. There were practical reasons for this. While I wanted John back into the house, I was not quite ready to allow him back into my bed. Also, the kennel served as a not so gentle reminder of who was in control.
However, on another level, I wanted to punish John for the trauma he made me suffer by means of his infidelity. For the first few days John slept in the kennel, I thought to my self he deserves that, and smiled as I left the room he was kenneled in. Yes, as much as I love John, there are still times when I am the bitch mistress.
Even today, I maintain very tight control over where John goes and what he does. In the evening, John is seldom allowed out out the house unless I am with him. Someone told me there is a new phone that when a certain feature is turned on, it is possible for some else to monitor where the user is. If this is true, I want one for John.
Men in a serious relationship should be controlled. It is not only good for the lady that owns them, it is good for the man. A man that is left to his own devices will soon find trouble. That is one reason why it is important for men in a committed relationship to be collared. It I had my way John's collar would have a little device in it that would allow me to track his where abouts twenty four hours a day. On some level I believe that submissive men want to be controlled and monitored in this fashion. It gives them a way of proving themselves worthy to their women as well as a sense of being owned.
A young lady who is a friend of Liz told me she was so embarrassed when her husband curtsied to her in a public place. On the advice of Liz she had trained him to curtsy, but felt awkward when her husband actually bent his knee in front of some other people. To her I say get over it.
There is nothing wrong with a man giving a lady a polite curtsy in front of who ever may see it.
If we are living in an age when a man can take his wife's name in marriage, and take the vow of obedience, there is nothing wrong with a man bending his knee in public. If nothing else it sets a good example of treating women with respect.
The blogs on the Internet talk about the excitement of submission. What happens when the excitement is over. John is no longer excited by the prospect of spending Saturday cleaning house. Never the less he still does it. Another friend has her husband take her mother to the doctor. This happens two or three times a month. Each time they spend an hour or more in the waiting room. There is no excitement, but he sill does as told. Sure, at some time in the past John was excited to drop to the floor at the snap of my fingers. He still drops when I snap my fingers, but I suspect that most of the excitement is gone.
Yes, while most of the excitement that comes with male submission is gone, John is still a slave husband that takes his marching orders from his wife. This is where real discipline is important, and a man's fear of real punishment makes him think twice before disobeying a wifely order.
If I had one piece of advice for any women who enters into a FLM it would be to let your husband know it will be for real, and that there is no turning back. Also, have the money and property in your name. If he is not willing to give you all he has, his commitment is less than 100%. Yes, when you can throw him out of the house, it adds an important sense of reality to the fem/dom relationship. Men tend to respect people who control money.
For those of you who have read the story of Karen, she and Mandy are no longer room mates. They had a fight over Karen's boy friend. It happened in the beginning of the semester. Mandy put on a little weight over the summer. It was a Sunday morning she was trying her clothes on, piece by piece, to see what fit and what didn't. She had the boy friend helping her. Karen walked into the apartment from church to see Mandy in her bra and panties standing in front of her guy. According to Karen, his little soldier was at full attention. This led to some words, and Mandy choose to find another apartment for senior year. Karen told me she had purchased a whip during the summer, mainly for fun, but then decided to really use it. She told me it was the first time she ever used the whip in anger. It was also the first time she saw a man cry.
Karen tells me that when she was finished with the whip, and her guy was still crying, he crawled to her feet and started kissing her shoes. This made her angry. She gave her guy a kick, and told him to crawl to the corner, stay ther until told otherwise. Karen told me that was the very first time she ever felt like a real mistress. I asked her why she though the experience had that effect on her. She answered because the experience was real, it was not one of the stupid dominance and submission games her guy likes to play. I then asked if she liked the feeling of power over a man. She answered 'yes'.
On the Being Her Knight blog, I retold the story about requiring John to wear a hair ribbon on our visit to New Your. A part of this was punishment. Another part of the experience was about having John suffer for me. As we walked into the restaurant all eyes were on the gentlemen with the big yellow ribbon in his hair. You could hear the laughter. This was a type of humiliation that John did not care for. He could feel the sting of the intense humiliation as the hostess walked us to the table. The comment was made that I should have been embarrassed just to have been with him. Well, may be so, but I wasn't.
Before walking into the restaurant John requested permission to remove the ribbon. I told him, 'No'. It was part of his punishment for talking back to me. Also, I reminded John that he wanted to be my slave, this was a good chance to prove it. I reminded him that slaves do as told when they are told, and don't talk back to their owners. With that strong lecture John bowed his head and answered 'yes mistress'. It was a long time after that experience before John had the bad sense to talk back to me again. What I tell Karen is that if you decide to punish your guy, make sure it is a real punishment, and not some type of pretend punishment that is really run for him.
In a fem/dom marriage a man always needs to be collared and leashed. There are times when it is desirable to let the leash out a little. From time to time a man needs a sense of freedom. A man like John will never again have true freedom. However, from time to time it is good to let him have the limits of the full leash thus giving him the illusion of freedom. For a man like John this would be something like letting him play golf with his buddies on a Saturday afternoon.
If he handles it well give him a little more leash. However, if you have the sense that he is sniffing where he shouldn't be, immediately pull the leash in and give him a swat on his rear end.
With some men, like John, who are well trained; you don't usually need to pull the leash in. Just a slight tug to tighten, and a male will respond according to his training.
While many of you may think treating a man like a trained puppy may seem cruel, the truth is that many men seek this type of control by a strong, self assured female. The why of it I don't understand. Never the less many men need that strong sense of female control to be happy.
The sad part is that the women these men love have absolutely no understanding of this need.
Becoming a mistress is not about becoming a monster, or wearing leather clothing. It is not about playing games in the bed room. Becoming a mistress is about understanding your man's needs, and about earning the respect you deserve as a women.
Love, Karen
The commercial was for a popular insurance company. The commercial involves a perky young lady and a middle age couple. The commercial displays the couple talking to the lady about automobile insurance. What is different is that the man is holding a purse, and the wife has her hands and arms completely free. When they are finished talking, the young lady says something to the effect that you won't have to carry the purse any more. The comments than make it obvious that the wife has given the purse, or European carry bag, to her husband. It was one of those beautiful fem/dom moments that make the male want to hide under his wife's skirts. It surprised me that this type of commercial made the main stream media.
I feel badly for 'dense' husband. He had the start of what I thought was going to be a very good blog. He seams like a very nice, sensitive person, but it appears that the attention scared him off. That is a shame. It was not what I intended to do by mentioning his blog. If he does read this posting, I would like him to email me. It was one of those blog postings that really made you sit back and think about relationships. Sometimes you forget how hard it is for a male to make the statement to the world that yes, he is a submissive man, for the very first time.
I read the blogs. What I see is that there are a great many married couples who treat FLM or fem/dom type marriages as a game. They even schedule play time. For John and I fem/dom is a way of life. It doesn't mean I am bossing John around 24 houses a day, but it does mean that I am always the boss. It also means that John has respect for the authority I have over him.
It means that in our daily life John gives me complete obedience. If he is told to cut the grass today instead of tomorrow he does it, he doesn't ask why. He doesn't need to know. He only needs to know that his mistress wife has given him an order. Some people might say that my view of the world is jaded, but to me the world would be a better place if more men had this type of relationship with their wives. What I believe is that it is perfectly natural for a women to be head of house, and for her spouse to acknowledge that fact. Fem/dom is a relationship that is conducive to good family values, and is an excellent role model for children.
The first time a man kneels in front of his wife it tends to change the nature of the relationship. The day John came home he knelt at my feet. It was not a game. He got down on two knees because he was told to do so, and he knew it was the correct thing to do. It was not fem/dom play, it was a very serious moment for both of us. Yes, for women, if you want to have a serious conversation with you guy, have him kneel at your feet. Make sure he is on both knees. Require him to kneel straight up like a man, and not allow him to slouch back.
One of my favorite blogs is Being Her Knight . The posting entitled 'Beg Me to Keep You Collared' struck a nerve. I made a long comment. Disciplining a man may be part of a FLM, and certainly there are often good reasons to punish a man. Never the less, I think we, as women, want to see a man suffer something for the privilege of belonging to us. It might be a whipping, or some form of humiliation, ow what ever, but we want to see them pay some type of a price.
When John came back into the house, the kennel was waiting for him. There were practical reasons for this. While I wanted John back into the house, I was not quite ready to allow him back into my bed. Also, the kennel served as a not so gentle reminder of who was in control.
However, on another level, I wanted to punish John for the trauma he made me suffer by means of his infidelity. For the first few days John slept in the kennel, I thought to my self he deserves that, and smiled as I left the room he was kenneled in. Yes, as much as I love John, there are still times when I am the bitch mistress.
Even today, I maintain very tight control over where John goes and what he does. In the evening, John is seldom allowed out out the house unless I am with him. Someone told me there is a new phone that when a certain feature is turned on, it is possible for some else to monitor where the user is. If this is true, I want one for John.
Men in a serious relationship should be controlled. It is not only good for the lady that owns them, it is good for the man. A man that is left to his own devices will soon find trouble. That is one reason why it is important for men in a committed relationship to be collared. It I had my way John's collar would have a little device in it that would allow me to track his where abouts twenty four hours a day. On some level I believe that submissive men want to be controlled and monitored in this fashion. It gives them a way of proving themselves worthy to their women as well as a sense of being owned.
A young lady who is a friend of Liz told me she was so embarrassed when her husband curtsied to her in a public place. On the advice of Liz she had trained him to curtsy, but felt awkward when her husband actually bent his knee in front of some other people. To her I say get over it.
There is nothing wrong with a man giving a lady a polite curtsy in front of who ever may see it.
If we are living in an age when a man can take his wife's name in marriage, and take the vow of obedience, there is nothing wrong with a man bending his knee in public. If nothing else it sets a good example of treating women with respect.
The blogs on the Internet talk about the excitement of submission. What happens when the excitement is over. John is no longer excited by the prospect of spending Saturday cleaning house. Never the less he still does it. Another friend has her husband take her mother to the doctor. This happens two or three times a month. Each time they spend an hour or more in the waiting room. There is no excitement, but he sill does as told. Sure, at some time in the past John was excited to drop to the floor at the snap of my fingers. He still drops when I snap my fingers, but I suspect that most of the excitement is gone.
Yes, while most of the excitement that comes with male submission is gone, John is still a slave husband that takes his marching orders from his wife. This is where real discipline is important, and a man's fear of real punishment makes him think twice before disobeying a wifely order.
If I had one piece of advice for any women who enters into a FLM it would be to let your husband know it will be for real, and that there is no turning back. Also, have the money and property in your name. If he is not willing to give you all he has, his commitment is less than 100%. Yes, when you can throw him out of the house, it adds an important sense of reality to the fem/dom relationship. Men tend to respect people who control money.
For those of you who have read the story of Karen, she and Mandy are no longer room mates. They had a fight over Karen's boy friend. It happened in the beginning of the semester. Mandy put on a little weight over the summer. It was a Sunday morning she was trying her clothes on, piece by piece, to see what fit and what didn't. She had the boy friend helping her. Karen walked into the apartment from church to see Mandy in her bra and panties standing in front of her guy. According to Karen, his little soldier was at full attention. This led to some words, and Mandy choose to find another apartment for senior year. Karen told me she had purchased a whip during the summer, mainly for fun, but then decided to really use it. She told me it was the first time she ever used the whip in anger. It was also the first time she saw a man cry.
Karen tells me that when she was finished with the whip, and her guy was still crying, he crawled to her feet and started kissing her shoes. This made her angry. She gave her guy a kick, and told him to crawl to the corner, stay ther until told otherwise. Karen told me that was the very first time she ever felt like a real mistress. I asked her why she though the experience had that effect on her. She answered because the experience was real, it was not one of the stupid dominance and submission games her guy likes to play. I then asked if she liked the feeling of power over a man. She answered 'yes'.
On the Being Her Knight blog, I retold the story about requiring John to wear a hair ribbon on our visit to New Your. A part of this was punishment. Another part of the experience was about having John suffer for me. As we walked into the restaurant all eyes were on the gentlemen with the big yellow ribbon in his hair. You could hear the laughter. This was a type of humiliation that John did not care for. He could feel the sting of the intense humiliation as the hostess walked us to the table. The comment was made that I should have been embarrassed just to have been with him. Well, may be so, but I wasn't.
Before walking into the restaurant John requested permission to remove the ribbon. I told him, 'No'. It was part of his punishment for talking back to me. Also, I reminded John that he wanted to be my slave, this was a good chance to prove it. I reminded him that slaves do as told when they are told, and don't talk back to their owners. With that strong lecture John bowed his head and answered 'yes mistress'. It was a long time after that experience before John had the bad sense to talk back to me again. What I tell Karen is that if you decide to punish your guy, make sure it is a real punishment, and not some type of pretend punishment that is really run for him.
Karen told me that the whipping incident with her boyfriend tended to improve his overall behavior. When she gives him an order, he is quick to obey. There is less talking back. She told him that hence forward the whip would be part of their life, and to get use to it or leave. She told him she was tired of playing D/s games with him. Karen's guy learned a lesson that day, but so did Karen. Real obedience, the kind that John gives to me requires discipline. It does not come over night.
I asked Karen what was it about her guy kissing her feet that made her so angry. She responded that being allowed to kiss her feet was a reward. Her guy was going through a punishment session, and took a liberty that he was not allowed without permission.
On a more recent update on Karen, she has read the posting about the young lady who is requiring her husband to change 'his' last name to 'hers'. She is now thinking of having her man do this. I asked her how would the families react to this. She wasn't sure, but suspected that her family now knows of the nature of her relationship. After Mandy moved out, there was room for Karen's younger sister to visit. It was only a week or two after the whipping, and Karen didn't hide the nature of their relationship from her sister.
In a fem/dom marriage a man always needs to be collared and leashed. There are times when it is desirable to let the leash out a little. From time to time a man needs a sense of freedom. A man like John will never again have true freedom. However, from time to time it is good to let him have the limits of the full leash thus giving him the illusion of freedom. For a man like John this would be something like letting him play golf with his buddies on a Saturday afternoon.
If he handles it well give him a little more leash. However, if you have the sense that he is sniffing where he shouldn't be, immediately pull the leash in and give him a swat on his rear end.
With some men, like John, who are well trained; you don't usually need to pull the leash in. Just a slight tug to tighten, and a male will respond according to his training.
While many of you may think treating a man like a trained puppy may seem cruel, the truth is that many men seek this type of control by a strong, self assured female. The why of it I don't understand. Never the less many men need that strong sense of female control to be happy.
The sad part is that the women these men love have absolutely no understanding of this need.
Becoming a mistress is not about becoming a monster, or wearing leather clothing. It is not about playing games in the bed room. Becoming a mistress is about understanding your man's needs, and about earning the respect you deserve as a women.
Love, Karen
Saturday, October 17, 2009
The Dense Husband
This is one of those Saturdays when I need to work. That normally means a quick look at the blog, and then move on. Then, I noticed a new follower. I clicked on the follower's site, and discovered a simple, but sweet posting that stirred my soul.
After reading the posting, I wanted so badly to email him or comment on his blog, but there was no way to do so. His words, however, made me want to reach our and hug him, and tell him that every thing will be all rite. This gentlemen loves his wife and family. However, there is something very much missing in his life.
The words he used were similar to those I heard in the studio. He said, 'Even though she is next to me, I am lonely'. This is a sad commentary on the way we live our lives. Yes, we have blinders on. This was a cry from the wilderness. I suspect this is the first time that this young man ever made the statement that he is submissive. As I read his blog, I could almost feel his fingers tremble. It is said that he is afraid to tell his wife, the women he loves, of his true nature. John was the same way, and it almost cost us our marriage.
So, for the dense husband that wrote this tender posting, I want you to know that there is at least one person in the world that understands your situation, and cares about you.
When you are ready, I want you to email me.
Love, Mistress Kath
After reading the posting, I wanted so badly to email him or comment on his blog, but there was no way to do so. His words, however, made me want to reach our and hug him, and tell him that every thing will be all rite. This gentlemen loves his wife and family. However, there is something very much missing in his life.
The words he used were similar to those I heard in the studio. He said, 'Even though she is next to me, I am lonely'. This is a sad commentary on the way we live our lives. Yes, we have blinders on. This was a cry from the wilderness. I suspect this is the first time that this young man ever made the statement that he is submissive. As I read his blog, I could almost feel his fingers tremble. It is said that he is afraid to tell his wife, the women he loves, of his true nature. John was the same way, and it almost cost us our marriage.
So, for the dense husband that wrote this tender posting, I want you to know that there is at least one person in the world that understands your situation, and cares about you.
When you are ready, I want you to email me.
Love, Mistress Kath
Friday, October 9, 2009
A Very Angry Email
This past week I received an email from a lady who was very angry. In a small way she was angry with me, but more than that, she was angry about a situation that has developed with her son.
Her son has been going out with a young lady for a couple of years. Every one in the family seems to like her. A short time ago the young couple announced their intent to marry some time next year. At first every one was happy. However, then the bombshell was dropped. This couple announced that 'he' would be changing his last name to 'hers'.
From what I can gather this announcement was made while the family was having an after dinner coffee in the living room. The mother tells me that she thought the future bride was joking. However, it soon became apparent that the name change idea was not a joke.
In the conversation the future bride confirmed that the name change idea was her decision, and that the son would indeed be changing his last name to hers. The mother than asked the son how he felt about it. The son meekly responded that it was her decision, and he would go along with what ever she liked.
This tense conversation brought a chill to the family gathering. The mother would not give up. She kept asking the young couple about the name change. The mother tells me that her son just set there without saying a word leaving all of the talking to the bride. Finally, the bride said something to the effect that they were going to have a female led marriage, and that she was going to be the authority person in the house. With that the room went silent. The mother tells me she said 'what?'
With the 'what' question thrown out, the bride answered that their relationship was a little different than most, as she was the dominant partner with Chris taking her lead in most ways.
She then said that Chris would take the vow of obedience at the wedding.
The mother than gave her son a look, and said something to the effect of 'is this correct'. The mother than tells me she was shocked when her son simply looked down in embarrassment and answered yes. At that moment she could not have been any more ashamed of him, and wondered what she had done wrong in raising him.
A few days after this exchange occurred the mother happened on this blog. It was an entry from the last posting that made her mad. In that last posting I made the comment that some men are there to serve, to obey, and generally do as told. In the angry email the mother asked me how I would feel if my son was one of those men who were simply there to serve, to obey, and do as told, and whose opinion counted for little.
This lady went on to say that she did not raise her son to be a women's servant or submissive.
She raised him to be a strong, self assured man whom she could be proud of. Although I was not the cause of her anger, she took a little bit of it out on me. I went back and read the comment she refereed to, and then read it again. For the moment I didn't really know how to respond to her question. Then, I realized that there was something very wrong with my last comment.
The comment in my last posting forgot to mention anything about my favorite four letter word.
It is the four letter word that usually works best for me, and has gotten me through tough situations in past. Yes, the word is 'love'. I feel strongly that many men in the world are born submissive, and are happiest when living the life of a submissive husband. Yes, these are men that in a way are there to serve, obey, and do as told. However, the key to this relationship working for both the husband and the wife is the love between the two of them.
When a man gives a gift of himself to a women that loves him, and she in turn accepts that gift,
it creates a wonderfully intimate relationship. There is nothing like a mistress wife to bring out the needs of a submissive male. A mistress wife can reach down into a man's soul in a way that no other person can ever do. My experience is limited, but from what I have seen these men are very happy and content with their lives.
The answer to this lady's question is 'yes, I would feel fine with my son entering into a fem/dom marriage as long as I knew she loved him, and he loved her'. To the lady who sent me the email, don't give up on your son. Take some time and get to know the young lady that will be marrying your son. She is likely to be both your son's wife as well as his mistress. Get to know her on a more personal basis. Try to listen to what she is saying on a non judgmental basis. Try to understand that your son may have some special needs that you know nothing about. They have been going out for a while. She probably knows much more about your son than you do.
Also remember that if took courage for her to make the announcement about the name change. I suspect that she does love your son, and has a deeply personal relationship with him. I also suspect that as her future husband's mother she wanted you to know more about the nature of their relationship.
Above all, be proud of you son for who he is. As I have said many times on this blog, I believe loving, obedient men are truly a gift from God. They usually make wonderful husbands and fathers who care deeply about their families.
Love, Kathy
Her son has been going out with a young lady for a couple of years. Every one in the family seems to like her. A short time ago the young couple announced their intent to marry some time next year. At first every one was happy. However, then the bombshell was dropped. This couple announced that 'he' would be changing his last name to 'hers'.
From what I can gather this announcement was made while the family was having an after dinner coffee in the living room. The mother tells me that she thought the future bride was joking. However, it soon became apparent that the name change idea was not a joke.
In the conversation the future bride confirmed that the name change idea was her decision, and that the son would indeed be changing his last name to hers. The mother than asked the son how he felt about it. The son meekly responded that it was her decision, and he would go along with what ever she liked.
This tense conversation brought a chill to the family gathering. The mother would not give up. She kept asking the young couple about the name change. The mother tells me that her son just set there without saying a word leaving all of the talking to the bride. Finally, the bride said something to the effect that they were going to have a female led marriage, and that she was going to be the authority person in the house. With that the room went silent. The mother tells me she said 'what?'
With the 'what' question thrown out, the bride answered that their relationship was a little different than most, as she was the dominant partner with Chris taking her lead in most ways.
She then said that Chris would take the vow of obedience at the wedding.
The mother than gave her son a look, and said something to the effect of 'is this correct'. The mother than tells me she was shocked when her son simply looked down in embarrassment and answered yes. At that moment she could not have been any more ashamed of him, and wondered what she had done wrong in raising him.
A few days after this exchange occurred the mother happened on this blog. It was an entry from the last posting that made her mad. In that last posting I made the comment that some men are there to serve, to obey, and generally do as told. In the angry email the mother asked me how I would feel if my son was one of those men who were simply there to serve, to obey, and do as told, and whose opinion counted for little.
This lady went on to say that she did not raise her son to be a women's servant or submissive.
She raised him to be a strong, self assured man whom she could be proud of. Although I was not the cause of her anger, she took a little bit of it out on me. I went back and read the comment she refereed to, and then read it again. For the moment I didn't really know how to respond to her question. Then, I realized that there was something very wrong with my last comment.
The comment in my last posting forgot to mention anything about my favorite four letter word.
It is the four letter word that usually works best for me, and has gotten me through tough situations in past. Yes, the word is 'love'. I feel strongly that many men in the world are born submissive, and are happiest when living the life of a submissive husband. Yes, these are men that in a way are there to serve, obey, and do as told. However, the key to this relationship working for both the husband and the wife is the love between the two of them.
When a man gives a gift of himself to a women that loves him, and she in turn accepts that gift,
it creates a wonderfully intimate relationship. There is nothing like a mistress wife to bring out the needs of a submissive male. A mistress wife can reach down into a man's soul in a way that no other person can ever do. My experience is limited, but from what I have seen these men are very happy and content with their lives.
The answer to this lady's question is 'yes, I would feel fine with my son entering into a fem/dom marriage as long as I knew she loved him, and he loved her'. To the lady who sent me the email, don't give up on your son. Take some time and get to know the young lady that will be marrying your son. She is likely to be both your son's wife as well as his mistress. Get to know her on a more personal basis. Try to listen to what she is saying on a non judgmental basis. Try to understand that your son may have some special needs that you know nothing about. They have been going out for a while. She probably knows much more about your son than you do.
Also remember that if took courage for her to make the announcement about the name change. I suspect that she does love your son, and has a deeply personal relationship with him. I also suspect that as her future husband's mother she wanted you to know more about the nature of their relationship.
Above all, be proud of you son for who he is. As I have said many times on this blog, I believe loving, obedient men are truly a gift from God. They usually make wonderful husbands and fathers who care deeply about their families.
Love, Kathy
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Her Wicket Little Smile comments
All of you know that I enjoy reading the comments. However, the comment by Zhuo struck a cord. While we were looking at houses, neither my daughter or I gave any thought to the fact that her husband was not part of this experience.
At the end of the day my daughter decided not to make an offer on the house. However, the simple fact that her husband had not seen the house had nothing to do with that decision.
On some level I would like to think that if my daughter had decided to make a serious offer on the house, she would have involved her husband. However, I am not sure of that. The truth is that in today's world there are men that are there to obey, serve, and generally do as told. Their opinions are of no consequence. My daughter's husband may be one of those men.
At the end of the day my daughter decided not to make an offer on the house. However, the simple fact that her husband had not seen the house had nothing to do with that decision.
On some level I would like to think that if my daughter had decided to make a serious offer on the house, she would have involved her husband. However, I am not sure of that. The truth is that in today's world there are men that are there to obey, serve, and generally do as told. Their opinions are of no consequence. My daughter's husband may be one of those men.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Her Wicket little Smile
It is funny how every day life gets into the way of blogging. There is always something you need to do, there is always something demanding your time. It does seam like hot, rainy Saturday mornings are the best time to post.
A few minutes ago the phone rang, and John picked it up. All I could hear was John saying 'that would be my wife, but she is not taking calls this morning'. Out of curiosity, I asked him what the phone call was about. He said it was just a sales call. The caller asked to speak with the head of the house. Yes, John is a man who understands who is in charge.
Two weeks ago I had an opportunity to spend a long weekend with my daughter and her husband. I was on a business trip to Atlanta. She invited me to stay the weekend. She said it would be good for us to have some girl time together, and do the things we like to do. Besides, she and her husband are looking for a house, and she wanted me to see some of the properties they are considering. This was the type of invitation a mom loves to have. There is nothing more fun than visiting with a married daughter, and peaking into her life.
While battling the rush hour traffic in Atlanta, I couldn't help but think of how my little girl has changed over the years. There is one thing though that has remained the same. She has this little smile. She would say something, then flash the smile in a way that made you wonder what she was really thinking. John and I often referred to it as her wicket little smile. Any time she flashed the smile it seamed to suggest there was some type of double meaning to what she was saying.
After driving for most of an hour, I finally arrived at her house. As I came up the drive way, both she and her husband, Jeff, came out to greet me. After a big welcome hug and kiss we started walking toward their condo. Without a second thought my daughter quietly told Jeff to bring mom's things in, and take them to the quest bed room. With a big grin, Jeff did as told. I thought once again he is a sweet guy, and a good match for my daughter.
As I came down stairs Saturday morning, my daughter and Jeff were making breakfast. The plan was that my daughter and I were going to do some shopping, some house hunting, and that her husband was going to spend much of his day watching football games. Most of the table conversation was between my daughter and I, with Jeff demonstrating what a good listener he was. As we were finishing breakfast she brought Jeff more into the conversation in a way that surprised me.
In a very casual way my daughter told Jeff that we would be going most of the day. She went on to tell him that when he finished picking up the dishes, he needed to go by the grocery store to pick up some things for dinner. Then, when his chores were finished he could turn the television on. Apparently, they also had some talk about him going to a friends house to watch the games. She also told him that if he wanted to go to Walton's house, it was 'OK', but he was to call her first. As I set there listening to this conversation, I thought to myself she is really becoming dominant with her man. Nothing kinky. It was just that she was the one that was telling him what to do without him having much of an input.
I have always found that giving instructions to John, or any man, requires a certain degree of art. Just when you thing they understand what you want, they do something completely different. Over the years I have gotten accustomed to repeating my self with John just to make sure he understands. My daughter's techniques is completely different. After telling her husband what she wanted him to do, she had him repeat her instructions back to her. For a moment I thought to myself why didn't I ever think of that.
While the three of us were siting at the table, she asked Jeff what he was supposed to do after picking up the dirty dishes. He replied that he was going to the grocery to pick up things for dinner, and then he was going to do his chores. She than asked him what he was supposed to do before going to Walton's house. He replied to call you, and let you know that I am going. With that she gave him flirty little kiss, and a quick peck on his ear as she told him to have a fun day.
One of things that occurred to me is that men of John's age would have been totally embarrassed to have their wives talk to them this fashion in front of another person. It was very obvious that Jeff thought it was perfectly normal to be told to repeat the instructions given to him by his wife.
Also, for this to happen in front of his mother in law had to be a little demeaning. Then, I thought, it might seam more normal for younger man to accept female authority in their lives than it is for older men. Then, I thought about Karen and her guy, and about how open he was in asking Karen to take charge of him. Well, the thought then occurred to me that maybe the world is changing, and male submission is not quite the shame that is was in the past.
As we drove away I couldn't help but ask my daughter about the way she talked to her husband. She told me that she hated to repeat things. Over the time they have been together she developed the habit of having Jeff to repeat things back to her. If he got is right, it usually meant he understood what she wanted him to do. I then asked her about the television. She had told Jeff not to turn it on until he was finished with his Saturday morning chores. She said, 'yes' that is a rule in the house. With the television on Jeff focuses more on the television then on what he is
doing. A couple of weeks before he had ruined one of her blouses while he was ironing it. She said he was paying more attention to the game then to his ironing.
As we drove toward the mall, I casually commented about what a good husband Jeff seamed to be. She then answered back, 'yes, but there are those times when he needs to be spanked'. She then flashed that big wicked smile that left me wondering what she was really talking about. She then asked me what I thought of the house we had just toured. Yes, I thought my little girl has grown into a women.
Love, Kathy
A few minutes ago the phone rang, and John picked it up. All I could hear was John saying 'that would be my wife, but she is not taking calls this morning'. Out of curiosity, I asked him what the phone call was about. He said it was just a sales call. The caller asked to speak with the head of the house. Yes, John is a man who understands who is in charge.
Two weeks ago I had an opportunity to spend a long weekend with my daughter and her husband. I was on a business trip to Atlanta. She invited me to stay the weekend. She said it would be good for us to have some girl time together, and do the things we like to do. Besides, she and her husband are looking for a house, and she wanted me to see some of the properties they are considering. This was the type of invitation a mom loves to have. There is nothing more fun than visiting with a married daughter, and peaking into her life.
While battling the rush hour traffic in Atlanta, I couldn't help but think of how my little girl has changed over the years. There is one thing though that has remained the same. She has this little smile. She would say something, then flash the smile in a way that made you wonder what she was really thinking. John and I often referred to it as her wicket little smile. Any time she flashed the smile it seamed to suggest there was some type of double meaning to what she was saying.
After driving for most of an hour, I finally arrived at her house. As I came up the drive way, both she and her husband, Jeff, came out to greet me. After a big welcome hug and kiss we started walking toward their condo. Without a second thought my daughter quietly told Jeff to bring mom's things in, and take them to the quest bed room. With a big grin, Jeff did as told. I thought once again he is a sweet guy, and a good match for my daughter.
As I came down stairs Saturday morning, my daughter and Jeff were making breakfast. The plan was that my daughter and I were going to do some shopping, some house hunting, and that her husband was going to spend much of his day watching football games. Most of the table conversation was between my daughter and I, with Jeff demonstrating what a good listener he was. As we were finishing breakfast she brought Jeff more into the conversation in a way that surprised me.
In a very casual way my daughter told Jeff that we would be going most of the day. She went on to tell him that when he finished picking up the dishes, he needed to go by the grocery store to pick up some things for dinner. Then, when his chores were finished he could turn the television on. Apparently, they also had some talk about him going to a friends house to watch the games. She also told him that if he wanted to go to Walton's house, it was 'OK', but he was to call her first. As I set there listening to this conversation, I thought to myself she is really becoming dominant with her man. Nothing kinky. It was just that she was the one that was telling him what to do without him having much of an input.
I have always found that giving instructions to John, or any man, requires a certain degree of art. Just when you thing they understand what you want, they do something completely different. Over the years I have gotten accustomed to repeating my self with John just to make sure he understands. My daughter's techniques is completely different. After telling her husband what she wanted him to do, she had him repeat her instructions back to her. For a moment I thought to myself why didn't I ever think of that.
While the three of us were siting at the table, she asked Jeff what he was supposed to do after picking up the dirty dishes. He replied that he was going to the grocery to pick up things for dinner, and then he was going to do his chores. She than asked him what he was supposed to do before going to Walton's house. He replied to call you, and let you know that I am going. With that she gave him flirty little kiss, and a quick peck on his ear as she told him to have a fun day.
One of things that occurred to me is that men of John's age would have been totally embarrassed to have their wives talk to them this fashion in front of another person. It was very obvious that Jeff thought it was perfectly normal to be told to repeat the instructions given to him by his wife.
Also, for this to happen in front of his mother in law had to be a little demeaning. Then, I thought, it might seam more normal for younger man to accept female authority in their lives than it is for older men. Then, I thought about Karen and her guy, and about how open he was in asking Karen to take charge of him. Well, the thought then occurred to me that maybe the world is changing, and male submission is not quite the shame that is was in the past.
As we drove away I couldn't help but ask my daughter about the way she talked to her husband. She told me that she hated to repeat things. Over the time they have been together she developed the habit of having Jeff to repeat things back to her. If he got is right, it usually meant he understood what she wanted him to do. I then asked her about the television. She had told Jeff not to turn it on until he was finished with his Saturday morning chores. She said, 'yes' that is a rule in the house. With the television on Jeff focuses more on the television then on what he is
doing. A couple of weeks before he had ruined one of her blouses while he was ironing it. She said he was paying more attention to the game then to his ironing.
As we drove toward the mall, I casually commented about what a good husband Jeff seamed to be. She then answered back, 'yes, but there are those times when he needs to be spanked'. She then flashed that big wicked smile that left me wondering what she was really talking about. She then asked me what I thought of the house we had just toured. Yes, I thought my little girl has grown into a women.
Love, Kathy
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
A Special Thanks to Sassy Pants
It is about time that I acknowledge the contribution that Sassy Pants makes to this blog. You know, when a girl gets so many nice comments; like you saved my marriage, and things like that, it tends to go to her head. The comments by Sassy Pants always have a way of bringing me back to reality. The comments keep me from being too swell headed.
Sassy Pants, I want you to know that you are my pet of the week. You are my hero for keeping me focused and level headed. Also, to calm you down, when John plays golf he does have money with him. Yes, mistress sees to that. Now Baby, give me another little wolf-wolf. I think you would be a good boy to put a leash and collar on.
Love, Mistress Kathy
Sassy Pants, I want you to know that you are my pet of the week. You are my hero for keeping me focused and level headed. Also, to calm you down, when John plays golf he does have money with him. Yes, mistress sees to that. Now Baby, give me another little wolf-wolf. I think you would be a good boy to put a leash and collar on.
Love, Mistress Kathy
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