Friday, November 20, 2015

Conquer Him blog

I just wanted to take an aside to praise the Conquer Him blog.

At first glance the blog has a very professional look-almost too professional. My first reaction to discovering the blog was that it was more advisement than substance.This, however, could not be further from the truth. When I took the time to read a few of the articles I quickly realized that this blog is truly refreshing. It is not just another source of male kink like so many of the blogs. It is a blog that can be read by women as well as men. It also offers women an opportunity to interact with other women in a place that is safe, secure and away from men.

One of the latest postings is entitled something like 'why do dominant women need a submissive man in their life'. This is a well written essay that goes to the core of what female leadership is all about.
Femdom or female leadership allows women the freedom to be all that they can be. What is often missing in the equation is that femdom also allows men to grow into better-happier versions of themselves. So many people seem to think that femdom is about rewarding women at the expense of men. Nothing could be further from the truth. Submissive men who live under the authority of a strong, confident woman are some of the most content people on the planet. Like the essay says their vision of life is a mirror image of that of their mistress. The successes of their mistress become their successes. The joys of their mistress become their joys. This is why I would never object if my son were to find a strong, confident woman to rule over him. This is what so many men want as well as need.

One of the things the Conquer Him site does well is deal with the issue of male chastity. For some people male chastity is just another kink. For those who are truly in the lifestyle chastity appliances have a definite place in most relationships. Most women realize that if you can control that little part between his legs you will control the rest of him. While Becky and I were shopping  I noticed an attractive gold chain around her neck. 'Is that new', I asked. Becky smiled as she pulled the chain out form under her blouse. 'Mom, I was wondering how long it would take you to notice' she said. At the bottom of the chain was a key. 'O' I replied with a little embarrassment. 'Mom', she said 'why should you be embarrassed, you read about these things all of the time' she replied. 'It' she said referring to the key is what has made the difference.

One of the deficiencies of Femdom 101 is that it has never really explored the use of chastity devices in femdom relationships. In the beginning, back at the start of this blog in 2007, chastity devices were almost unheard of. Today, it seems that most of the male bloggers as well as those who comment have had some type of experience with them. The Conquer Him blog which is written by younger women seems to have a better understanding of how these devices can be used to improve the relationship with a man.

What the lifestyle needs is more input by women who have experienced it. It also needs more places where women can interact with other women in a non threatening way. What I suspect is that many of the young women who go through the Conquer Him training program will remains friends for a long time. It was these friendships that helped me to build on the basics of the studio experience that were so instrumental in incorporating femdom into our marriage.

Women are slow to incorporate new ideas into their life. Blogs like Conquer Him are a good place to start. Love you all for reading and even more for contributing.


Wednesday, November 18, 2015

For Alex..

Thank all of you who were kind enough to share.

It is something that we do not generally think about, but yes we have developed into a second generational femdom family. In a way that is special. Both Becky and I love our husbands very much. Neither of us could imagine life without our guys, but we expect them to respect us as both wife and mistress. For women in general femdom is about the intimacy that comes with the relationship. This is something that  men are just now beginning to understand. The other day I noticed a comment on the I'm Hers blog that caught my attention. Yes, could it be, there was actually a man talking about intimacy in his marriage. Who would think that in a discussion among guys the word intimacy would ever be uttered, but it was. Men are slowly learning to understand what it means to live a femdom marriage. They are slowly coming to understand the joy, the inner peace that comes with submission.

When John and I go for a walk we usually hold hands. On occasion a neighbor or two has commented about how close we seem to be. In a simple way holding hands with your man is a way of connecting with him. It is an outwood expression that we belong to each other. What, of course, these neighbors do not know is that in the privacy of  our home John kneels at my feet. These neighbors do not know that John lives under my rule. They only see a man who is happy and attentive to his wife. While we have shared our way of life with our family, we have not shared it with neighbors or friends.

As children grow older women seem to have a closer relationship with their daughters than their sons.  As children girls tend to talk more with their moms than the boys do. Never the less we love our sons as much as our daughters. Our son is aware of how we live. He is aware that Becky has collared her husband. The words that came to me were something like, 'mom, I'm not surprised'. Growing up he told me he could see how Becky always seemed to have her way with dad. If they needed a ride John would volunteer to take her and her friends. He would even wait in the car while they had a pizza or something.  'Would he do that for me', our son once said with a laugh, 'no'. 'Girls are special' John had often told him. Looking back on things John tended to treat Becky as something of a young mistress. He knocked, asked permission, before entering her room. Once, I remember we were trying to make plans for the weekend when John came into the room. 'What did you and mom decide', I heard him ask. The way he asked the question was as if he had no input in the matter as it was really up to the ladies to decide. Looking back over the years I can now see many instances where John  would subtle show his submissive side with Becky. Most of this I believe was not intentional. It is just the way he is. John's nature is that of a submissive man. It is not something he can hide from those whom he is close with.

My son's general reaction to our way of living is what ever works for you, dad and Becky are fine with him. He is not submissive in the least way. Our son is in a relationship with a beautiful young lady whom I adore. Femdom is not something that either John or I encourage. If it is there, it is there. It is not for everyone. It was really the relationship with John that encouraged our son in low to open up with Becky about his submissive nature. He wanted, he told her, the same type of relationship with her that her parents have. He confessed that he had always dreamed of a lifestyle where he lived under the authority of a strong female leader. It was seeing another couple that gave him the courage to open up with Becky. He had a certain feeling that she might be receptive to having a change in their marriage. Becky and I spoke the other day. In a sense we are both proud of the progress he has made. For a man, even a submissive one, managing an ego is a difficult chore. Becky understands that to achieve this goal David need her discipline in every day life. He needs her rules, her authority, and at times her willingness to punish. It takes a strong woman who is confident enough in her own skin to be willing to punish a man.

Love you all for reading. Many of you are in femdom relatisnhips. Many of you are still 'want a bees." Either way it is important to treat the lady in your life with honor and respect. She may or may not be a mistress, but treat her as if she is your special goddess who came down from the mountain to rule you. Be attentive to her. Bring coffee to her in the morning, write love notes to her, and as least once a day tell her that you love her. Each day of your life remember to think of her as something of special goddess who has blessed you with her presence. If you practice these things on a daily basis you will experience the joy of her feminine presence.


Monday, November 16, 2015

For Alex

Thank you sweetie for the comment.

The world seems to be full of hate and intolerance for those who are different.

John and I have been to Paris on many occasions. It is one of our favorite places. We love French culture. We love the way people live. One of favorite things to do is just to walk the streets and savor the life of the city.

Would the world be different if most of its leaders were female. I don't know the answer to that question. In the western world men are learning to accept female leadership in their personal lives.
They are learning not only to accept female authority, but are learning that they like it. Most of the violence in the world seems to come from places where women are more or less kept in their 'place'.

Everyone knows that we have both a son and a daughter. The question that has come to me is how would I feel if my son were to become a slave husband to a mistress wife. The simple truth is that the men I know who are in femdom marriages seem to be happy with their lives. They seem to be happier and more content with life than those who are living the so called vanilla flavor.

Femdom 101 is about loving female authority in the home. Whether or not the principles of domestic female rule can be applied on a macro basis through out a culture is very much an unknown. Women can also be harsh and tough. Women, like men, can also be intolerant to the ideas of others. Sometimes I wonder how many of my neighborhood friends would still talk with me it they were aware of the way we lived.

There are no simple answers to question raised by Alex. The idea of 'Love thy neighbor as thy self' has been around for a long time, but it has never really caught on. What I can say is that each of you who read this blog have a very special place in my heart. And yes, the reason Femdom 101 exists is that I care for each and everyone of you. Though of you who have the inner strength to celebrate the beauty, the love, and the authority of the female in your everyday lives are closer to the light of God than any of you may imagine.


Tuesday, October 27, 2015

A Little More on the Lemon Drop Martini

This is always been one of my favorite post.

Over the weekend we had an opportunity to talk about John's feelings on the day he performed the service. 'What was it that made you blush so cutely' I asked him. I had thought that John's blushing days were over.

'It was Marie's daughter' John replied 'the way she giggled when I handed her the martini'. 'A young girl's giggling can make you blush', I asked. 'Yes' he replied'. 'You are so sweet' I told him.

Then I asked John if he thought the girl was trying to flirt with him. He didn't know how to answer. He put his head down and came out with an 'I don't know, mistress'. I then asked him if it were possible would he like to flirt with a twenty something year old. When there was no real answer I teasingly asked if he would like to serve a young woman such as the college girls he helped move into the dorm a couple of years ago. With that question he turned a little red faced. That red face told me that the answer was a definite yes.

One of the things I have learned is that an attractive young lady can easily make an older man blush with nothing more than a giggle. The power we have over the male is incredible. This is something most of us do not learn form our mother's, but may be we should.

Now that my daughter is in her thirty's there are so many life lessons for us to talk about.

Love, Kathy

Friday, October 23, 2015

The Lemon Drop Martini-Reposting

There have been a couple of requests to repost the Lemon Drop Martini. It is a short post, but in many ways it is one of my favorites. For one thing it illustrates the sweetness and kindness of my husband. It also showcases the submissive man's desire to both serve and please. Why, I ask myself would any woman reject this type of a man as a husband. So anyway here is the original with an introduction which was written a year or so ago. One lesson that many of you need to learn is that when your mistress ask you to perform a chore you simply do it and do it with a smile. You may be asked to serve or to wash windows. The only reply that usually needs to be made is 'yes mistress'.
How many of you truly get that?

Love Kathy

Here is a reposting of one of my very favorites.

My husband is a true submissive. On this fall day one year ago he had the pleasure of serving the three of us. Men like John are so cute when they are made to blush, and it does happen from time to time. What, however, was so special for John was the chance to serve the neighbor's daughter. She was barely twenty years old, if that. John had known her as a child. Yet in spite of the age difference,
in spite of knowing her form a young age, John was still most submissive toward her. He was every bit as attentive to her as he was to our neighbor.

When I questioned John about how it felt to serve this young lady he replied that it felt very natural.
If not for my studio experience I would have been somewhat shocked to see an older man serving a young girl. Yet, in the studio it was the same way. It was mainly middle age men, or older, on their knees in front of twenty something year old women.

It is easier to serve older women or younger women, or does it matter?


Where John and I live the air has recently turned to fall. The air is cool and humidity is low. Taking advantage of the beautiful outdoors I invited a neighbor to join me in the garden. As we set down I offered her a soft drink. John had been in the back yard working in the garden. After a few minutes of 'girl talk' my neighbor complemented me on what  a good job my husband was doing. And yes, we agreed, that working with the hand clippers was excellent exercise for men.

For some strange reason the conversation turned to favorite drinks. The neighbor had been to a party the night before where the host served the ladies Lemon Drop Martinis. 'John', I responded 'makes an excellent Lemon Drop Martini'. It is one of his special drinks. All of a sudden the soft drinks we were holding tasted dull. 'How about a Lemon Drop Martini' I asked 'John would love to make one'. 'No, he is busy' came the response'

Instead of accepting her negative response, I called 'sweetie, over here'. John immediately answered his summons. I let him stand in front of us for a moment or two while we talked more about cocktails. 'We decided that we would each love to have one of your Lemon Drop Martinis. Do we have everything to make one?' I asked. John replied 'yes', and I gave him the nod. Fifteen minutes later John reported back carrying a tray with two lovely Lemon Drop Martinis. My girl friend smiled and thanked John for his effort.

'Anything else' John asked. 'No, sweetie', I resounded. 'You may go back to your work'. It was just then that the neighbors daughter walked into the yard. 'Those look good' she cooed. I  looked at John. He knew what to do. A shot time later John emerged from the kitchen with a third lemon drop martini. 'Umm,' she responded, to John's delight. The daughter is young and pretty. I knew John would love serving her.

I then told John to bring out some cheese and crackers. My neighbor replied that I was going to have my husband serving all afternoon. 'Yes, I replied' that is what men are for. We toasted and enjoyed  the cool air as John blushed. And yes, I love to watch a man blush. There is a certain tenderness to a man when he shows his softer side.

Love, Kathy

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Things Your Momma Never Taught You

Thank all of you for reading. A special big hug and kiss for those of you who were kind enough to share. Femdom is not for everyone. What I have learned, however, is that those men who want and have the courage to accept female authority in their everyday lives are special treasures. It takes a strong man to live the life of a submissive husband, to be at the beck and call of a wife, and  accept the rejection of society. My husband, my love, my own sweet baby is the rock on which I am grounded. His love and devotion means more to me than anything else in the world. When my parents passed from this earth he was there for me. When our children were born he was there for me.
Learning to be his mistress has been a challenge. For me it was worth it.

I will be away from the computer and posting for the next several days. Both John and I will be involved with a volunteer project with our school/church group over the weekend. If all goes well I will try to post sometime next week. All of you are welcome to email me at any time.



Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Things Your Momma Never told You..........

In the last post I made the statement that watching a movie with other people is a completely different experience than watching it alone. That night in the studio the room was filled with sounds of laughter, of endless chatter, and isn't he cute type expressions. The same is true with going through the femdom experience. Learning to be a mistress as part of a group of women is so very different from making the journey by your self. When the experience is shared with other girls you laugh together, you cry together, and you learn from each other's successes and failures.

In large measure Becky had the difficult task of learning on her own to become a mistress wife.  Some one will say that she had a mistress mom to help her, but a mom is not the same as a girlfriend. It is true that Becky and I talk candidly about a number of subjects. There are some frontiers that neither of us are comfortable with crossing. Going through the process Becky was told that she would learn a great deal about men. She would learn that the outer face they present to the world is quite different from who they really are. She, however, told me one other thing that was worth remembering.

That summer night in the condo, when David showed off his new collar, Becky told me  that she had learned a great deal about her self. Becky learned that she had the self confidence to be a mistress for her husband. She agreed with me that becoming a mistress is not so much about having a dominant personality as it is about being confident of who you are as a woman. She felt that almost any woman with the desire to improve her marriage could lead a man in life. For the first time this summer Becky truly understood the bond between me and her father. She also, I believe, understood in a different manner her own father's need for female authority in his life.

That day in the coffee shop I felt empowered as a woman. Not only did Tara's husband address me as ma'am, he bowed his head and welcomed me with a curtsey. Walking into the coffee shop I wondered with a secret smile if any one noticed the curtsey. Tara's husband was a good looking, muscular guy who was many years younger than me. When the waitress came to take our order I asked for a soft drink and a salad. When the waitress looked at Tara's husband, he looked confused. At that moment
I realized that he was either looking for my permission to order or for me to order for him.

In front of the waitress I asked if his mistress allowed him to order for him self, or if she ordered for him. The response was that she usually orders for me. In that case I asked the waitress to bring him the same soft drink and salad that she brought for me. In a strange way I enjoyed being out in public with this submissive man. As far as I could tell neither of us were the least bit embarrassed  about having this conversation  in the presence of the waitress.

Tara's husband told me that he took a very special pride in being the best possible slave for his mistress. His focus in life, he told me, was on her. The money he earned at the bank was for her.
I asked him point blank if he loved Tara, and if she loved him. Yes, we love each other very much.
He told me that Tara will some times sleep with other men, but she always comes back to him in the morning. Did that bother him, I asked. No, he responded, she is free to do what she likes. I had a very difficult time understanding how a married man would be comfortable with his wife sleeping with other men. This I thought was especially true since the husband was the one who changed the sheets on her bed.

I then asked Tara's husband if he was allowed to have a girlfriend.  No, he responded. If he even sees a pretty girl when he is out with Tara, he is required to look down. If not, she would give him the switch, he said. And you like living like a slave, I asked. For the first time in the conversation he  showed a little embarrassment. Yes, he replied, I  like living as her slave  We talked for a long time. When needing to use the restroom, he asked permission to be excused. When it was time to leave I paid the check.

On that day in the coffee shop I learned a thing or two about my self. For one thing I learned that it felt empowering just being in the company of a submissive man. I enjoyed the respect. I enjoyed the way he addressed me as ma'am. I enjoyed the way he was quick on his feet to pull out a chair.
Most of all I enjoyed the fact that he was so very attentive to me. When an attractive girl walked by our table he didn't lift his eyes for even a second. Then it occurred to me that John has many of his same habits.

Love, Kathy