Saturday, June 20, 2015

Saturday Morning

A few minutes ago I made a comment, but then thought that a short posting might be better.

Thank all of you for the comments and for sharing. I think it is important to the femdom community that we come out of the shadows.  People need to be aware that we exist as real husbands, wives, and as families with children. We are not just people who come out to play games on certain days of the week. People need to understand that for us female authority within the home is real. They also need to understand the importance of  family values to us. Above all people need to understand that our homes are filled with love. Our marriages are not based on a principle of a whip and chain even though we, as women, understand the importance of disciplining a husband.

This week I will be traveling for work and will not have time to post. If anyone would ask John he would tell you that the keys to my heart have always been a sweet smile, flowers, and poetry.
Thank you Alex for those sweet words that did so much to brighten my day.

How many of you, I wonder, would feel silly writing a love poem for your wife. Would she think it silly? Every so often John will write a poem for me, and I love it. Hope that this week  each of you gentlemen do three things for me. First, remember to always greet your wife with a smile and a kiss. Second, one day this week bring her flowers. Third, if you dare, write a little poem for her. Put it with the flowers, or some place where she is sure to see it. And yes, lets make this an assignment where you report back to me.

Hope to be back to the blog in a week or so.

Love, Kathy

Thursday, June 18, 2015

The Cultural Revolution......

Thank all of you for the great comments.

What I believe is more and more women are learning to enjoy men who have a softer side. One of my girlfriends is bold enough to send her husband flowers at his office. He was a little embarrassed, but had to admit that he enjoyed having the flowers on his desk. The flowers, he told her, made him smile , and he enjoyed the sweet scent. Yes, men have a softer side, and the cultural revolution is allowing them to show it.

One of the things I love is to see a man blush. Sometimes in conversations with girl friends we forget that men are over hearing what we say. It might be a husband or a cute young waiter who is not accustomed to hearing women talk with other women. Men don't realize how much our conversations are censored when they are present. When Becky and I really want to talk we send the men away.
Both husbands understand that they are only allowed to reenter the room when sent for.

My question for today concerns flowers. How many of you would be happy to receive a gift of flowers from your wife?


Wednesday, June 17, 2015

The Cultural Revolution...

Following up on the comments I never really got accustomed to the so called 'sissy maid'

In the studio it was not uncommon to dress men up in cute little maid costumes complete with hair ribbons and heels. We would have them prance around, clean a little, and teach them how to curtsey.
For whatever reason I never liked seeing men dressed like this. I didn't mind having men naked, or even in panties, but always felt that the lacy, little French maid costumes detracted from the male body. John has never been allowed to wear one of these.

As Appy says it takes courage for a man to admit wanting this to his wife. It takes even more courage more a woman to dress up a man in one of the frilly outfits. I like a man to look like a man, smell like a man, and act like one. That can mean panties and sometimes a skirt, but for me the entire concept of having a husband wearing one of these little outfits is not appealing.

One of my friends from Tara days will sometimes want to show off her husband in one of these costumes. It gets him excited, and it doesn't bother her. On occasion she has shown her husband off to me in one of his maid customs. I can get into the teasing that comes with the show, but at the same time don't want to see John in one of these outfits. Once, I happened to run into her husband at a business function. He blushed beautifully when he recognized  me. What happens in our group stays in our group.

What is appealing to me is the masculine type of man with muscles and brains. The man who can be a man among men, yet a slave boy in the home who lives to serve me. On this subject I would love to hear from the women as much as the guys.

Love, Kathy

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

The Cultural Revolution

The other day John and I were discussing the transition of Bruce Jenner to Caitlyn.  Both of us agreed that  Bruce Jenner displayed a great deal of courage in coming out as female. Doing this in front of the nation, the entire western world, had to have made the transition even more difficult. Many of the readers of femdom 101 are afraid to even make anonymous comments, much less discuss their submissive nature with a wife. In most ways (Bruce) Caitlyn is a poster child for the new age male. The male who is not afraid to face his submissive side.

Many of you go through your entire lives as kind of shadow people who never come face to face with the person you really are. Many of you never truly look at your real self in the mirror. Although John's initial approach to his submissive side was seeing a dominatrix, at least he found a way of dealing with it. It may not have been the best way, or even a good way, but Tara gave John an opportunity to express his inner self in a kind of protective setting. In may be delusional, but ever so often I like to think that something good came out of the experience with Tara. Not only did John's escapade with a dominatrix cost us a great deal of money, it came terrible close to ending our marriage.

Recently I read that the country, USA, is going through something of a cultural revolution. When you look around you can see the empirical evidence of this. Social mores have changed so much in the last generation or two that our parents would not recognize America for what it is today. Make no mistake about it, I am not  some old prude yearning for the past. To the contrary I believe that the full inclusion of women in business, in politics, in every facet of life will be good for country. The inclusion of women brings new energy, new ways of thinking about public policy. This does not, however, mean that men must be excluded from the conversation.

In some families today there is a different kind of conversation taking place. Some men are finding the courage to open up. In many cases the wives are shocked to learn that a husband needs them to lead. In many cases the wives are simply not up to the challenge.  Just this past week Becky found is necessary to punish David for back talking. Having to punish is no fun she told me. 'Why can't he just take that male ego and put it in his pocket.' she asked. The ego I told her has a nasty way of fighting back. Men are wonderful, loving creatures that enrich our lives in so many way. A man without an ego would be easier to train, but personality wise would be far less interesting. I would rather have a husband with a strong ego, a healthy sense of self worth, than a sissy type who does nothing more than prance around in a maid costume.

Strong women need the love of strong men. We value their strength, their ego, their smiles, and the feel of their arms wrapped around us. Yet, it is these very same men who make the best submissive husbands. It is the men who have experienced freedom and leadership who make the best fathers.
It is these men who understand what they are giving up when they chose to kneel at the feet of a woman. As strong as the call of freedom may be these men know their place. They know they were made for a kind if indentured servitude to a female ruler. It is who they are. These are the Bruce Jenners of the femdom world. These are the special angels whom we want as a part of our lives.

Love, Kathy

Thursday, June 11, 2015


Thank all of you who were kind enough to share. Your comments, your personal observations mean a great deal to me. One of the things that pleases me most is when a man tells me he has shared my blog with his wife. This takes courage. Opening up to another person takes courage. In today's culture it is almost cool to be gay. Why, I don't know. When I was a young girl people didn't even talk about such things. In some ways I do believe femdom may be the next frontier. For me femdom has always been about the family. I have both a son and daughter and I want the same opportunities for both of them in the work place.

One of the first places where I expect to see increased evidence of femdom is in childcare.When Becky and I go shopping or do something on our own, David is tasked with taking care of the children. Both Becky and David share in the house work, but they also share in tending to the children. This has given Becky more freedom to work outside of the home, and bring in money for the family.

When I was growing up child care was essentially the responsibility of the women in family, never the men. Things have already stated to change in this area. For those of you who have small children my suggestion is to give your wife a morning off, or night off from childcare responsibilities. Offer to watch the children while she goes shopping or out to dinner with friends. It may not be as exciting as washing her personal things, but I promise you she will appreciate it all the more.

Love. Kathy

Wednesday, June 10, 2015


Thank all of you for sharing over last few days.

Each of you have your own stories, individual needs, and desires. What I do believe is that people who are in loving, long-term relationships are happier and more satisfied with life. For some us these relationships should be of a femdom nature. There are a lot of submissive women in the world, but they do not experience the type of societal rejection that submissive men must deal with. Men face the added challenge of conquering their fears, the possibility of rejection, and ostracism.

From my experience with Tara and with the blog I can tell each and every one of you that you are not alone. It is by degree, but most men have a certain need for submission. With some men the need to submit is so strong that it defines their personality. This blog is about acceptance. It is about creating the idea that the submissive men make great husbands and devoted fathers. Becky will tell anyone that her father is the greatest man in the world. She looks up to him in so many ways. She also understands why it is that I must be firm with him.

Over the years of doing this blog there has been a pronounced shift in the reader base. In the first years almost all comments came from men who wanted, but were not in femdom relationships.
While I have not done an accurate census, my guess is that at least half of the comments now come from men who are in some of relationship where a woman is in charge. I wish questions like this could be included on the next US census. Wouldn't that be interesting. The comments from women, mostly emails, come from those who are already in a flm of some type. Once in a femdom relationships most women do not seem to want out. More than anything else they seem to enjoy the sense of intimacy that comes with owning a man. Some, more than others, like to use the whip.

The other observation relates to the number of men who are locked for some part of a day, or while away from their key holder. From my prospective it seems that the use of these devices is exploding.
When I worked with Tara in the studio there was hardly such a thing as a male chastity device.
Becky tells me that with every man she meets, social or business, her eyes are drawn to the relevant part of his body to see if there is an out line of a device beneath the surface. Last year, or the year before, I posted about a bride being given a male management device at a bridal shower. The older women had no idea of what it was for. There were a lot of whispers in the room as the use of the devices was spread from lady to lady. However, the younger women all knew what it was for.

Thank you for sharing.


Monday, June 8, 2015

Note For James and My Little Student

I was not planning on doing a post this morning, but there are some things I would like to share.

My first boy friend in college was something of an athlete. He was an alpha type, but back them we didn't know the meaning of the word. He was fun to be with, he was aggressive if you know what I mean, and wanted his pleasure. We usually went where he wanted to go. Very often he wouldn't even call for a date simply assuming that I would be available. It was fun being with him, but he also took me for granted. I always had the feeling that if I was not available on Saturday evening he would have no trouble with finding another date. One day on campus I saw him holding hands with another girl. I was deeply crushed. Shortly afterward we broke up.

At the time John's sister was my roommate. She told me that John liked me, but had never asked me out because I was seeing someone else. She more or less arranged for John to call me.
I could tell from his voice that he was nervous. I always knew he was shy. He was the exact opposite of my athlete, and his sweetness appealed to me from the start. On the first date he was too shy to kiss me good night. On our second date, I could tell he was nervous when it came time to  drop me off.
I took his chin in my hand and gently kissed him on the lips. He responded by gently kissing me back. From that moment on I understood that this boy was something special.

While I couldn't tell you why, I new that I loved his shyness, his insecurity, and the sweetness in his cheeks when he blushed. Over time he became my special angel who lights up every corner of  my life. When I found out about his infidelity with the dominatrix it was like every light in my world was turned off.  What I find, and I believe many women would agree with is that the man you want for a good time on Saturday night may not be the same man you want as the father of your children.
Submissive husbands are often loving, gentle men who will be there for you when the alpha type strays. It is important to remember that these men need you love, as well as your discipline in more or less equal parts. Don't spare the kisses, but neither should you spare the control.