Wednesday, December 4, 2019

Wash Day.....For the Ladies

For whatever reason I was not happy with the recent post. It was too short and mostly I was hesitant to talk about foot worship on the blog.  After all this blog is not intended to be about what many people would consider kinky behavior. Yet, from my observation there are many men who love nothing more in life than taking the toes of a woman into their mouth. In the studio foot worship was a special treat for the guys. It was considered a privilege. It was also a money maker for Tara in that it kept the paying customers coming back. In the studio the girls had learned to develop foot worship into something of an art form. It would start with the shoes, a lot of licking and finally the magic moment when the guy was allowed to suck on your toes.

For my part foot worship was kind of a strange feeling in the beginning. It didn't matter how dirty the feet were, or how badly they might have smelled. In many cases it was quite obvious that the guys relished the smell as well as the taste of the summer sweat. And, it was always very hot walking from the car to the studio. It would always be the mistress who ended the session as the guys could spend hours licking and sucking on her toes. It was almost an animalist type of behavior where by the sent of the female drove the male wildly crazy with lust. It was also a behavior that many of the wives didn't allow their men to participate in. 'It was too nasty', a couple of the men told me. Some of them were too embarrassed to perform this act with their wives.

After a very short time I learned to use my feet to tease the men. I would often put the man in Command Position where he were not allowed to move a muscle. I would then dangle my toes right in front of his face. 'Not yet', I would tell him. 'Have you been a good boy today', I would ask.
He would always answer 'yes mistress'. 'How good', I might then ask. 'Beg', for what you want I would tell him. As a working mistress I quickly learned that it was quite fun to tease the men before giving them what they wanted. As a young girl my mother often told me that men appreciated things more it you made them work for it. It was not until my teenage years that I had an idea of what she might be talking about.

As a mistress wife I have learned to have a bit of innocent fun with John. Yes, my husband, as many men do appreciates the opportunity of having a woman's toes in his mouth. If he is a good slave, if he does a good job of cleaning house; and if he shows me the kind of sweetness I love in him he may be rewarded. Enough said on this subject except that this simple reward can be used as an effective training tool for the submissive man in your life.  Enjoy!


Love, Kathy

Tuesday, December 3, 2019

Deleted Post

Good Morning to all of you.

Yes, I have just deleted the last posting. What looked good on Sunday morning didn't seem quite rite on Monday.

Love, Kathy

Sunday, December 1, 2019

Wash Day....

Thank all of you for the emails and for the comments.

My absence from the blog has made me realize how important this little bit of feminine writing is to many of you. Yet, this is just a blog. It is not a crutch to rely on as a replacement for real world experiences. What I would tell each and everyone one of you is to love the lady you are with.
She may not be the mistress of your dreams. She may have her faults, but men have a tendency to overlook the many good and wonderful things women do for them. Bring her flowers and gifts for no special reason. Tell her that you love her. Not just once a week, but every day. Tell her how special she is to you. Relish her smile. And, learn to listen to her. Learn to focus on her needs rather than what you want.

One of the sweet things John does is to bring  my coffee every morning to my writing desk. He also makes sure that there is at least one single flower in the small vase at  its corner. While this may seem as a simple task to many of you it means a great deal to me. It is a way for him to show his affection,  his willingness to serve and be a part of my life. It also provides us a few minutes to talk about our day, about the children, and what is on our mind. Regardless of what I am doing I put it down.
John is more important. I love to watch his gentle curtsy. I usually direct him to the back of the desk by pointing my finger toward the floor next to me. He kneels and is given the opportunity to kiss my feet.

One of the things I tell women who write to me is never miss opportunity to have your man kneel.
At the same time never miss an opportunity to have him kiss your feet. Working in the studio I learned the pleasure of having a man worship your feet. What I learned in the studio is that a woman's feet are an aphrodisiac for most submissive men. There is nothing they would rather do than spend time massaging your feet or swishing their tongue between your toes. For many men foot worship is something of a religious experience that brings them closer to the goddess that they think you are.
As Tara told me so many years ago think of your self as a goddess and they will too.

Love, Kathy




Sunday, November 24, 2019

Wash Day....leadersship versus dominance

Good morning to all of you.

This is just a quick posting to say something that has been on my mind for a long time. In this blog I very seldom, if ever, use the terms dominance or dominate. For me female authority is about leading a man rather than dominating him. In my opinion one of the differences between being a mistress wife and a professional dominatrix is that a wife tends to lead her man rather than dominate him.
Real life with a truly submissive man is not about dominating him. Rather it is about providing him with the structure and emotional support he needs in order to be happy and thrive as an individual.
It was only after I understood this that I was willing to take control of my marriage, and the man whom I loved.

The simple truth is that many men were not born to lead. It was society that cast them into the role of head of house forcing them into live a life that they could never truly adjust to. It is like trying to put a square peg into a round hole. After a lot of pushing you may be able to get the peg into the hole, but it never fits as it should. At the same time we see women who have had a history of personal  leadership accomplishments deferring to their men in an effort to conform to perceived expectations of what a good wife should do. That is why we see so many de facto type femdom marriages whereby the wife leads her husband in every way, but there is no overt agreement that she is in charge. In fact, with friends and family she may even pretend to be a follower in the marriage. Of course the new age model of relationships calls for equality.


For many couples in modern society the equality model will work just fine. Yet, we know from personal experiences that some men are born with a very natural need for female control in their everyday life. What percentage of men are naturally submissive I have no idea. My guess is that the percentage of men who are born with submissive genes is much higher than anyone would guess.
Among those submissive men are a few that are highly submissve. My husband is a good example.
Many of you who read this blog are also highly submissive. A common trait that most of you share is that from time to time you try to hide or fight off your need for female control. From what I have observed this works for a little while, but most may never be truly happy in a vanilla type relatinship.

What is lacking in society are role models whom young males can openly identify with. There are few if any openly submissive actors, athlettes, or whatever.  Among Hollywood celebs it is almost fashionable to be homosexual or transexual, but never submissive. Why? I have no idea. One of the reasons Becky's husband opened up was that he had John as a role model. Having a father in law as a submissive husband made it safe for him to discuss his need for female authority with Becky. Further more it is my belief that one of the reasons why Becky is such an effective mistress is that she sees herself as a leader rather than as a dominator.

If there is interest in this subject we can talk more about it?


Love, Kathy



Saturday, November 23, 2019

Wash Day...

Thank all of you for the lovely emails and comments.  If any of you have every blogged you will understand that interaction with readers is the fuel that keeps a blog going. The comment was made that there are many so called de facto femdom marriages. These marriages are femdom in everyway except that no one officially knowledges that the wife is truly her husband's mistress. Looking back on things I sometimes wonder if my parents had this type of relationship. It is true that my mother could spend money anyway she wanted. My father wouldn't spend much more than a dollar without consulting her.

Going back to the Wash Day series there is a bit of a cute story that I would like to share with you.
As often happens with Becky's visits home there is an evening in which she has dinner with friends from school. Many of you know we live about an hour from the city across the long bridge. It is not a dangerous drive, but drinking before crossing the bridge is heavily discouraged. I volunteered to watch the children. Realizing that she was planning on driving herself to the dinner, I volunteered John as her driver. 'Mom, I don't really need daddy to drive me" she responded. Well, are you going to be drinking, I asked. 'Why don't you let daddy drive you, it would make the evening so much more relaxing, I offered.

After thinking it over for a few minutes Becky consented to having John drive her. I mentioned that her daddy could find a nearby coffee shop as a waiting place, and she could text him when ready for pick up. She laughed a little and mentioned it would be like high school except back then there was no texting. With her consent I rang John in from the garage where he had been working. 'Baby, this evening I want you to drive Becky into the city for dinner. You can find a place to wait for her, and she will text you for pickup'. 'Yes ma'am' was John's only response aside from what time should he be for. John understood that driving his daughter to the city for dinner, waiting for her, and driving her back was a directive rather than a request.

The cute part of the story is what happened when John dropped Becky off at the restaurant. Becky opened her purse and handed John a twenty dollar bill. 'Daddy, this is for something to eat' she told her father. I have money John responded. "Yes, but I want to make sure what you spend doesn't come out of your allowance', she told him. How did you respond I asked John. With a ' thank you ma'am' as she gave me a little kiss on the cheek.

Thinking about the little exchange of words and money caused me to think about how the world is indeed changing. As head of house and mistress to her husband Becky spends money as she wishes.
On the other hand John as an indentured husband may only spend the allowance he is given unless prior approval is rendered. Sometimes I wonder how men can live this way, but the need of submissive males for female control is all encompassing in their lives. It ranges from control of finances to sexual experiences and even what time they must go to bed in the evening.

As women accustomed to giving instruction to our men there is the potential for abuse. There is a very sad story on the internet about a Boston college student who ordered her boyfriend to commit suicide. She was apparently angry with him because he contacted a former girlfriend without her permission. Granted this may have been reason for punishment of some kind, but all punishments given by a mistress should be constructive rather than destructive. This incident also points out the dangers of one person controlling the life of another where by there is not true love. John lives as a slave husband under my total control. However, he also understands that I love him, and my authority over him is for his own good.

Love, Kathy


Tuesday, November 19, 2019

Good Morning To All Of You

In some ways I feel sorry for the long absence from the blog. Yet the truth is simply that there is nothing for me to say at the moment. There is also the feeling that I have said enough. The future of female led relationships is about the young women of the world who are willing to break away from the traditional restraints and norms related to gender. In every day life women are making positive changes. They are running for public office. They are entering the professions in record numbers.
How these changes will affect the family I have no idea. And, as all of you know Femdom 101 is about the family rather than the work environment.

For the most part Femdom as we know it is related to the male desire for female control of his life.
The idea of the naturally dominant woman is more of a male fantasy rather than a concept that women aspire to. Yet, I do know that form personal experience that women can learn to like being a mistress to their man. It is not just about having a man who keeps the house clean and changes the bed sheets, it is about giving him the type of home structure that he needs to flourish. It is about a whole new level of intimacy. And yes there are millions of sweet, loving submissive men in the world who need a real life lady who has the courage to take control of them.

Back in the early years of this blog most comments were from men who were 'want a bees' in femdom relationships. Looking at the comments from the Washday Series most of the comments came from men who were actually in some type of female led relationship. Over a ten year range this change is significant. Also, I have observed the same type of change related to comments on other blogs. Most comments come from men who consider their wives as head of house. They may not consider themselves 'slaves' or property of their wives, but they do render some level of obedience to them.

What I have also observed from the more recent parts of the blog is that some men render some level of service or obedience to their older daughters. The comment from Thomas Lavalle that he regularly 'picks up' after his twenty five year old daughter gave me pause. It made me wonder if femdom was truly becoming multi generational or if this was more of a fictional comment. Another gentleman sent me an email related to the ways in which he serves his adult daughter who is living with him post divorce. Both the wife and daughter have become his mistresses. What he tells me is that the daughter is more strict with him than the wife. John clearly remembers the first time he used the ma'am word with Becky. It felt like the most natural thing in the world he tells me.

The other comment I would like to make is that femdom is about love and caring more than whips and chains. It is about women accepting their men for whom they are and giving them the emotional support that that satisfies them in a way that nothing else will. This can only happen when a woman truly loves a man. For women learning to appreciate femdom is like learning to like oysters. It is an acquired taste that takes time and effort to develop. Once the taste is acquired it is something that stays with us.

Although I have not been writing I think about each and everyone of you who. Many of you have been able to develop the type of relationships that satisfy your needs. Many of you have not.
For those of you who are single my advice is to reach our in a soft gentle way to the women whom you meet. Don't be afraid to open your selves up. Yes, there will be rejection. Yes, some will think you are weird. Have the courage of your convictions. Be proud of the person you are. Be masculine, but tender. Be sensitive to HER needs. And yes, that HER needs is in capital letters because too many submissive men have a tendency to gush on their needs.

Love you all for reading. Love you even more for sharing. As the moment I am not sure where the blog is going. We'll see.


Kathy

Wednesday, August 14, 2019

Morning Coffee And Monday Wash

At the moment I am not really in the blogging mode so there shouldn't be anything posted for a while.

There is a cute story from the summer that I would like to share with you. It was morning when our neighbor Carol was over for coffee. It was a little bit of an extended coffee time because she had been waiting to say hello to Becky. At least once during the summer months Becky likes to visit without her husband. It gives us a special time to share stories, reconnect, and remain in touch with the grand children. It took Becky quite a while to come down because she had been busy bathing the kids. For those of you who don't have grand children these baths can take forever. They love to play with the boats and all of the little bath toys. It is hard to get them out.

When Becky finally came down there was the usual hello and hug and so nice to see you type thing.
The three of us started chatting about how everyone was going. It took Becky a few minutes to notice her daddy folding clothes in the nearby laundry room. Aside from the folding he was also listening in on the girl talk. Listening to girl talk is something many men love to do. Being close by also provides him the opportunity to act as our little coffee server.  And, as a mistress wife I have learned to appreciate the convenience of having a serving man in the home. There is nothing difficult about getting your own coffee or scrambling eggs, but it is such a nice luxury to have a man there to do it for you. Those of you ladies who live with a well trained submissive husband know what I am talking about. Why it is that so many women resist the love of sweet well intentioned submissive men I have no idea. Women seem to treat submissiveness in men as a condition similar to leprosy.

As John was delivering Becky's coffee  I casually asked if she had seen the new washing machine.
No, she said while peaking into the laundry room for a quick look see. 'That looks really nice' Becky responded. And then there was the added response. 'That reminds me, daddy,  we already have wash to do. When you are ready the baskets are in the closets." It was not a request for John to do the laundry as it was a simple straight forward directive. She went on to say that the way David does her work blouses is to dry them until they are just a little dam, and then pass a cool iron over them. They come out so nice that way she told John. Listening in I couldn't help but wonder what Carol thought of this father daughter conversation. Not too many daughters have the pluck to tell their fathers to do laundry and then tell them how the ironing is to be done. In the past Becky has used words like would you mind doing this or that, but this was a clear directive that allowed no choice on John's part.

Thinking back on the moment in the wash room I was surprised that Becky used 'that mistress' type of language in front of Carol, but then I thought about it a little more. Mistress wives become so accustomed to simply telling their men what to do that is seems so normal. The truth is that we don't even think about directing instead of asking. What I suspect is many of you have been publicly outed simply by the way your wives speak to you in front of other people. It is not something we mean to do. It is something that comes out naturally when living with a submissive man. Within the last few years Becky has matured both as a woman, a wife and as a mistress. One of biggest pleasures in life has been in watching her grow into the self confident person she has become.

It might be interesting to share a real life story from a few years ago. John and I were on a cruise.
It was one of those large boats with crowds of people all over the place. It was fun in a way, but the big boats are not really my thing. It was really crowded but we managed to find one of the last tables
in the bar area. After a little while another couple approached our table. The wife asked me directly if they could join us. Of course you can as we would love to have company, I responded.  It struck me  as a little strange in that the table question was put directly to me as if john's wishes were of no importance. Because it was happy hour and the bar was jammed packed it was impossible to get the attention of a waitress. After a littlie while she instructed her husband go to the bar and get her a drink. There was something about the way she said it that caught my attention. Yes, of course, I realized she was using that mistress language. It is not mean but it is spoken with a certain type of firmness. In a way it was the same type of wording and tone of voice that Becky used on Carol's visit.

As the gentlemen was getting up from the table she asked if John and I would be ready for another cocktail. That sounded good, I responded. And then I fell head over heels into using the mistress language myself. 'I'll send my husband to help', I told her. Thank you, but her husband could handle it she told me. 'He can't carry four drinks', I further responded. 'He's not allowed to drink' she told me. The assumption on my part was there was a medical issue of some type. Sometime later in the trip we again ran into this same couple. This time he was holding a cocktail. So nice to see you are doing better, I said while pointing toward the cocktail in his hand. 'Yes, today he has been given permission to drink' she responded with a cheery smile. At that moment I instantly understood that the permissions came from her rather than the doctor. Yes, I realized this lady is a mistress to that man. And, of course, when the four of us are together it is the women who are doing almost all of the talking. As a friend once told me submissive men have a way of just siting there looking pretty. This in fact was what the two men were doing. They were sweet and attentive, but they were also the followers in the conversation. They were the listeners rather than the talkers.

In our home the five o'clock cocktail is not a right of passage, but something for John to earn each and every day. In our home the five o'clock cocktail is what some people might call positive reinforcement. In other words be a good 'boy' for me today and get your reward. If you grumble or display a bad attitude that late day celebration of levity may very well be taken away. In her home Becky uses computer play time as positive reinforcement. At any time Becky can see all of the sites her husband visits during the week. It still amazes me that wives give their men so much free time on the computer. My advice to any young wife is to closely monitor her husbands use of the computer, I-Pods, and cell phone.


In today's world men have far too much freedom on their hands. They have far too many ways to get into trouble. So often I hear, 'but I want to trust him". Yes, trust is good, but trust also comes with a certain amount of monitoring. In a femdom relationship a husband needs to understand that he is no longer a free man. Being subject to a woman's a authority is a blessing for many men, but it is a blessing that comes with a challenge. Unless a woman is willing to discipline her man the challenge of living as a servant to a dominant mistress can be most difficult. This is why many femdom relationships fall apart. A woman needs to let her man know in no uncertain terms that she is the boss.
This is one of the things that Becky is so good at. Most of the time she will not need to use it, but her husband fully understands that she is the one who holds the whip. And, he likes it that way. On a couple of occasions I have tried to compliment her for this. Well mom she responded who do you think I learned it from.



Love you all for reading. Love you more for sharing. Think about the good things in life.
Think about all of the ways that your wife shows love to you. Tonight, tell her that you love her.
Tell her that she owns your heart hook, line, and sinker and then give her a big kiss. The truth is that most women would rather have a sweet kiss from their man then a foot massage.


Kathy