Sunday, September 11, 2016

My Thoughts On A Sunday Morning

A little while back my computer decided to update to Windows 10. One of the things I like is every morning a pretty picture is displayed on my screen. The picture this morning was that of a young woman seemingly climbing a long stairway to the sky. This is a vision of almost every young women who is willing to challenge life, who is willing to grow her self, who is willing to be all she can be. This doesn't mean giving up on the traditional values of mother hood or marriage, but it does mean she is willing to look at life from a different prospective.

When I see this young lady climbing the stairway I think of my daughter. In a sense her life is very traditional in that she has a home, a husband and children.  More than anything else she loves her family. Yet, looking at the picture there is something inherently different about her life. She has accepted the challenge of becoming head of her house as well as mistress to her man. It is not that she wants to be cruel to him. It is not that she can't make it in the world without a man, but the relationship with David is very different than it is in most marriages.

As all of you know David proudly wears Becky's collar. The collar provides him the sense of being owned. He has pledged total obedience to Becky. In a strategic sense he lives in Becky's world, he is a part of her life. In generations' past a wife lived in her husband's world. When his job was transferred from one city to another she followed him. In today's world David thinks of himself as living in Becky's home, being part of her life and occupying a special place in her support system.

As both a husband and help mate David openly defers to his mistress. His out side job is important, but not so important as service to his wife. To celebrate a recent promotion Becky took him out for a romantic dinner. When the waiter came she ordered for him. When the bill came she decided on the appropriate tip and paid the bill. Does that make you uncomfortable I asked her. No, for one thing David is never sure how much tip to give, it always makes him feel uneasy. Even when he pays I usually tell him the amount of tip that should be added.

In that conversation Becky went on to say that David feels more comfortable following rules than making them. He feels more comfortable with asking permissions than deciding things on his own.
He understands that it is impolite for a man to leave a dinner table without having permission from his wife or mistress. He wants to please, she told me. This, she told me, is what makes her marriage to David so very special. It is not that he is feminine. It is more that he is a new version of masculine, Becky told me. Yes, of course, David is like her father is so many ways. He is sweet, he is differential to women, and sees them high on a pedestal placed there by God. In that light manly obedience to woman seems perfectly normal.

As I write this posting a thought came into my mind about the picture on my screen. It occurred to me that the picture would be improved if there was a man following the woman as she ascended the long stairway to the sky. Love you all for reading. Love you more for contributing. You have no idea how many emails I now receive from couples who read this blog together.


Kathy

Saturday, September 10, 2016

The Making Of A Mistress....

Good morning everyone.

I am not really sure what to talk about today. I have been away from the blog for so long that all of my ideas have vanished. The comments to the last posting were very special. If there is one comment that I would like to latch on to is the one by Mistress Sandra. It is one of those comments that should be read twice and talked about. In the comment she says that asking for punishment is an indication that a man needs training. In my experience submissive men can become very needy. They want attention. They want to know that their mistress is watching and grading them. Mistress Sandra says that her husband does not look forward to punishment. Many of you, I know, love the idea of being punished. For many of you being punished is a sign that your wife is really in charge. In my opinion there is nothing wrong with this.

In response to the last posting a young lady sent me an email. 'Kathy' she said 'I had him carry my purse for the whole morning'. She want on to tell me that they went to a local mall, a couple of stores on the property, and finally to lunch. It was so much fun to watch the ways he toted the purse. 'Did it make him feel submissive', I asked. 'Yes', she responded. When they came home she had him clean the apartment, and then they played. What type of play I have no idea. She also told me that she is looking into buying her guy a 'locking' device. She never dreamed that men would want to wear something like this. While I have never used a locking device, I have known women who swear by them. In some femdom house holds the locking device has replaced the collar as a symbol of female authority.

Femdom is not about making men into miserable, obedient type creatures. Femdom is about love and caring. The simple truth is that some men need a strong female authority figure in their lives. They  need a woman to boss them, give them guidance, and be there for them. In order to be happy, content with life these men need to live under the very close authority of a woman. However, getting a man to acknowledge this simple truth is not easy. It was the relationship with John that encouraged David to start talking with Becky. It was the little things he told me. It was the time when their golf partners invited them to the club house for a couple of beers. 'Sounds good' John replied, 'but let me check in with Kathy'. Let me get her permission is what he was really saying.

Over time John and David starting talking with one another in a way that men usually do not. On once occasion John acknowledged to David that Kathy is the boss in the house. 'I think I would like that' David found the courage to respond. Then tell her, John said. Let her know that you want her to be in charge. From what I understand the conversations went deeper. As they talked David found more courage to open up about his submissive side. John's response was always tell her. 'She is her mother's daughter' John would say. Most of you who read this blog have no idea how proud John is of our daughter. He is also proud of our son, but the idea that he helped raise Becky to be a mistress is especially pleasing to him.

When I first went to work in the studio Tara and I had a long talk about the male submissive personality. She told me to take out a sheet of paper, and draw a vertical line on it. On one side of the line she told me to write sexual aspects of femdom. On the other side of the paper she told me to write inert, basic needs. Femdom has a sexual component she told me. However, it is more than that.
Some men simply have a basic inert need to submit to female authority. As men grow older the sexual aspect become less important. The inner need, the inert need to submit becomes more important. The best submissives she told me are the men over forty. They are less driven by sex, and more by their basic need to submit. Look around the studio she told me. The house boys were all over forty. Some were in their sixties. Older men, she told me, are more trainable. They are less needy.
They can give more of them selves.

A good submissive can help make a woman into a good mistress. To take this concept one step further a submissive father can help make a daughter into a mistress. This, I believe is what happened in our home. Without realizing it John has always modeled submissive male behavior for Becky.
Can I do this or that she would ask him. Ask mom was always the response. Would you pick us up from the party she would ask him. Yes, if it is Ok with your mom he would respond. When they were away from the house, daddy would you wait for us. Sure, he replied. Yes, of course we now see all the hours John spent waiting in the car for Becky and her friends to talk and visit. A good submissive husband understands the importance of 'waiting on' and 'waiting for' his mistress.  He also can also model this type of behavior for his daughter. In so many ways John showed Becky the joy of having a submissive man who was there to please her, whose purpose in life was to serve.

Love, Kathy

Sunday, August 14, 2016

The Making Of A Mistress...

Both John and I are having a bad case of cabin fever. Where we live the weather has been rainy, hot and very humid. His golf came is usually on either Saturday afternoon or Sunday morning. With his golf came canceled John asked for suggestions for what he could do. Your chores are up to date why don't you relax and read a book, I suggested. Maybe, he replied, would you mind if I read one of the femdom books. That would be fine, I replied, but then an idea came into my head. When you finish the story do a  report  so we can talk about it. Yes mistress, he replied. It is difficult for me to get into these femdom stories, but John loves them, and we talk about them together. Most of them are pretty silly, not realistic, but some of them offer a  touch of real life about them.

Even with all of the bad weather I was not going to spend another day in front of the computer.
Before leaving the computer I decided to check out a couple of my favorite blogs. One of them is about cooking which is a hobby of mine. I love to find new dishes or ways to prepare traditional southern food in different ways. Then I checked into my favorite femdom blog, I'm Hers. It was a relatively short posting, but very interesting. To understand what I am talking about you may want to read his current posting.

My first though on reading the post is that a good submissive can develop a wife into a good dominant. Becoming a mistress is not easy for a woman. There is a big mental adjustment. First, you need to learn to talk differently. Instead of asking a man to do something you need to tell him what you want . He doesn't need to know the reasons why mistress wants things done. He only needs to know the what and the how of what she is requiring. This may seem simple, but it requires an adjustment in the thought process. It was Tara who first taught me how to talk to men. When you want to give them a command talk 'to' them not with them she told me. Even better than talking to them is giving them hand signals. Instead of telling him to kneel train a man to kneel when given a certain signal. Actually I think it is easier for women become comfortable with hand signals than verbal commands. In the beginning it was less stressful for Becky to point to the floor then telling David she wanted him on his knees.

What I also like is the way I'm Hers appreciates the little gifts of his wife's dominance without begging for more. For me it is a turn off when a man is constantly asking for more. We often hear men ask their wives for punishment. In many ways they are trying to lead the relationship. When a wife learns to ration her gifts of dominance it makes those little morsels so much more valuable. 'Yes, I want you locked today' makes the experience so much more special. This is something that Becky had a difficult time with. Instead of directly telling David what she wanted, she would ask him. In no uncertain terms submissive men want to be told what to do.

In a way the I'm Hers posting made me feel guilty. In the past I have sent John into the yard to work on very hot humid days. On occasion I have done it as a punishment. In the studio Tara would some times do this with a house boy who wanted 'more'. She had a small, private patio with beautiful
plants. It required a lot of maintenance. She would send the house boy out there with only sun screen,  a hat and nothing else to pull weeds. Once when two of the house boys got into an argument with each other she leashed them together, and sent them both out there to work. They were so close that their sweetie bodies were touching as they toiled. When they were finished she put them together in the shower to wash and dry each other with the same towel. From what she tells me they never argued again. Many times men beg their wives to punishment them. What they really want is something that is fun rather than actual punishment.

If your man is constantly asking for punishment my suggestion is to send him into the yard to work. It may not be the punishment he wants, but he will learn to quit begging. Submissive men can become quite needy. If so they need to be broken of that habit. A real punishment can be as simple as an early bed time, withholding his allowance, or taking away his golf game. Over the last year Becky has used each of these methods with David. It is not to be mean with him as much as it is to correct a problem with attitude.

Love you all for reading. Think about the things we are talking about. We have all made mistakes.
In many cases the wife will make more mistakes than her guy. A sweet obedient husband makes it easier for a wife to become a mistress.



Love, Kathy






The Making Of A Mistress..

Unless a person has had a blog of their own it is impossible to appreciate the importance of comments. Not just the one liners, but the ones that are several paragraphs long where by the author offers up a slice of his or her own life experiences. These types of comments become the energy, the life blood that motivates the blogger to continue. Over the last several months we have had so many of these offering that it has been impossible to acknowledge most of them. For a short time I tried to respond to each of them, but with time constraints it is very difficult. What I have found is trying to respond to each comments slows down the blog. Each of you need to know that all of your comments are appreciated, and more than that they do influence the direction of the blog.

One of favorite comments of late was the August 9th offering by WLHusband (My Thoughts On A Saturday Morning). The comment was so sweet, so though out, partly naïve, and yet very insightful.
It is always interesting when someone holds up a mirror to your own face. WL made the comment that for many years John had been modeling submissive behavior for our daughter. When David came alone Becky found a little bit of her father in him. Yes, of course, I never really thought about that.

Over the years many of friend's daughters ended up marring men who were in many ways like their fathers. Yes, it is possible that David's submissive type of personality is partially what drew Becky to him. I am not really sure, but it is something to think about. Even though we did not have a femdom type marriage when the children were growing up much of John's submissive personality must have come through in our ordinary family life. In this regard WL's comment was very insightful. It really made me think.

On the other hand WL made the statement that he is not submissive, but simply likes to please his wife. This is the part of the comment that was perhaps a little naïve. Based on his descriptions it was obvious  his wife controls things, and he is happy with that type of arrangement. If he were not submissive he would be bucking heads with his wife all of the time. From the comment it was easy to see that his wife likes to be the one who is in control of her world. WL is in control of some things, but these are the things that his wife does not want to deal with. Even in femdom marriages men are in control of certain aspects of life. However, these are responsibilities that the wife has delegated to them. It can be almost anything form maintaining electronic equipment to handling the family finances or doing the laundry. What was obvious to me is that WL lives in his wife's world just as David is a part of Becky's world.

One of the other parts of WL's comment that  merits further discussion is that he is only submissive to his wife, not to women in general. This is something to think about. Many of men who write to me have said the same thing. Many other men have told me the opposite; that they are submissive to most women. These men tend to think of women as superior beings. They are the type of men that came to the studio. They are the type of men that want to worship at the feet of a strong, confident female leader. My John is not only submissive to me he is submissive to women in general.
When we are together he enjoys serving our daughter. If David is not there Becky has no issue in giving her daddy simple directions to get this and that for her. Also, in my absence she has no problem being in charge of him. John has a desire to please her just as he has a desire to please me.
It took me a long time to figure it our, but his desire to please her goes way back to her teenage years when she used to have him drive her and her friends around. He waited endless hours in the car for Becky and her friends to have ice creams while doing girl talk about the evening.

Before going on with the blog I think it would be interesting to take a survey. Which type of submissive are you? Are you a one woman type man who is only submissive to your wife or girlfriend? Or you submissive to women in general? Let me hear from you. How well to you know your selves.

 For WLHusband you are a sweetheart. Thank you for being a contributed.



Love, Kathy

Friday, August 12, 2016

The Making Of A Mistress.

It is my hope that many of you found the most recent posting to be of interest. In the world of femdom there are so many things to write about. There are so many little things that come to mind, but choosing what goes into the blog can be very difficult. In the mall this past Sunday I went into a shop that sells children's clothing. Slightly behind a lady going through merchandise stood a man holding a purse. The purse clearly belonged to the lady, yet you could see this man was clearly embarrassed to be seen with a feminine object in his possession. Like with most men who are assigned the duty he held the purse tightly under his arm as if it were a football. He also managed to stay very close to his lady. He wanted everyone to know that the purse belonged to the lady, not to him. How cute he was. Passing a little closer I gave him  a smile. What exactly he thought I am not sure, but it was enough to make him squirm.

Few women realize that you can get a man both excited and humiliated simply by having him hold a purse in a public place. It is one thing to have a guy hold your purse while you are actually looking at clothing. It is another thing to have him hold it while you are walking through the mall itself, or entering a restaurant or store. If you want to give your guy a lesson in humility it is a simple exercise for him to perform. Over the years John has been assigned purse holding duty on a number of mall visits. It is an activity which men never quite become accustomed to. If the mall is local they are constantly afraid of running into someone they know. So what I tell John if your cousin or who ever happens to see you. What is the big deal I ask about holding a purse. It is not like you are in a dress and heels, I tell him. Yet, in spite of all of this John loves purse duty. He seems to enjoy the slight feeling of humiliation as people look at him and some times snicker. He has been taught to carry the purse not as a man, but as a woman carries it. It there is a long strap it goes over his shoulder. If the purse has a short strap it goes over his bent arm. None of my purses have only handles as some do.
Like me Becky thinks the purse issue for men is hysterical. Why is holding a diaper bag fine, but a purse is not.

A few years ago we were walking out of a down town movie theater with an elevator to the parking floors. John was carrying my purse. As we entered the elevator there was another gentlemen who by chance was also clutching his lady's purse. The look on their faces as they caught sight of one another was precious. As we rode down I made a short remark to other lady that her man was well trained. Yes, so if yours was the response. Of course, I love to watch men blush, and both of them were so cute.

One of the things I have told Becky over the years is that giving a man little duties like this is a way of training him. If you expect a man to obey you in the big things in life he needs to become accustomed to obeying you in the small things.  In a world that was more acceptant of submissive men it would be a honor for a man to be seeing carrying his lady's purse. It would be a way for him to show that he has been allowed the privilege of serving. Other men who were not as fortunate would congratulate the purse carrying man for his good fortune in having a mistress. In today's world, however, having a man carry your purse is a way to teach him humility. In a sense it helps him keep his male ego in check. It makes for a more obedient and contented man. Remember, as your submissive he wants to live under your control. The ego which pops up every now and then is a hindrance for both of you.

Like me Becky never had the desire to become her husband's mistress. Like me she is not a person who is naturally dominant. For Becky becoming a mistress was a learning experience. What else is a woman to do if her husband comes to her with a request to be dominated. She can choose to ignore him. She can choose to become his full time mistress, or she can start off slowly. In the beginning there were specific times and eventually specific dates when she played the mistress role. On those occasions it was up to David to be in character as the submissive husband. For the most part it worked out fine except that more and more David wanted them to remain in character as mistress and slave. More and more he looked to her to make decisions, control the money and control him. More and more she looked to him for help with the children, house work and laundry. In some ways it was what is called a quid com pro or fair exchange.

After ruining a few of her wash and wear blouses by washing them in hot water she realized that David needed training. It was not just with the laundry, but with house work in general. She learned the importance of giving David more specific instructions. If the job was cleaning the bathrooms she took the time to show him exactly how the work needed to be done. She showed him the cleaning ingredients and how much to use. She corrected him frequently, made him do things over again.
Little by little over the course of several weeks she slowly stepped away from what he was doing.
Eventually like me with John Becky got to the point of checking David's work only when it was completed. She however, following my advice always took the time to check and comment on David's final work product. In the end what surprised Becky was that David took a sense of pride in his housework. It pleased him when she made favorable comments. Mom, she told me I never dreamed that a man would take so much pride in cleaning a house. It is not about the house, honey, I told her. Men take pride in house work because it pleases their wife.

With a full time job and with children in the home Becky needed constant help with the house work.
What she didn't need was a husband who pretended to help, but created more of a mess. By taking the time to work with David, showing him in detail the what and the how she managed to get the extra help she needed. Yet, in the course of training David in the duties of being a house husband another thing happened. In a matter of only a few months she became accustomed to supervising him. David,
on the other hand became accustomed to accepting her supervision. Also, David wanted more times and more days in which they were in character as mistress and slave.

As Becky told me the story it happened first on a Sunday morning. David asked if they could extend the mistress/slave play from Saturday to include Sunday morning. Once again it was not something that she wanted. She was about to tell him no when she thought about her dirty car siting in the drive way. 'Yes', she told him, 'you can be my slave today'. My car is dirty she told David. 'It needs to be washed, vacuumed, and dusted on the inside' she told him.  David said he would take it to the car wash. No, she told him that it cost too much money, it was his job to clean the car. She told him that he had one hour to clean it. She expected to have the job done in that time and to call her when it was ready for inspection. Once again to Becky amazement David loved serving. Performing house hold duties as an ordinary husband was drudgery . Doing these same task under her supervision as her slave was exciting and different. It made David feel owned a well as loved. Can any of your relate to this?


Kathy




Wednesday, August 10, 2016

The Making Of A Mistress

Thank all of you who have been kind enough to share personal experiences. Although many of you have grown to think of me as some kind of an expert, much of what I write comes from limited experiences. There was a time during our separation that I worked in the studio. It was a difficult period for me. For so many years there was always a 'we'. As a wife living apart from her husband there was only a 'me'. The question has come to me in so many different ways over the years, 'why didn't you divoure him'.  The answer of course in simple terms was that I still loved him. In more complicated terms I kind of understood that my husband needed something that he couldn't get at home. In that regard there was a feeling that somehow I had failed as a wife.

The studio experience helped me in so many ways. It gave me a look into the brain of a number of submissive men. As mentioned many times on this blog most of them were very sweet. In general they were not the type of men who looked for hookers or whores. Most of them were husbands and fathers. For the most part they had one thing in common. They were afraid to admit to their wives that they needed a woman to control them. The studio experience gave them a look at what it was like to worship a woman as if she was some sought of imperial goddess sent down from the heavens. In some ways the dominatrix experience had its sexual aspect for these men, but it went far beyond that.
It helped them meet a fundamental, intrinsic need. It also helped them accept them selves for who they were. In another way of speaking the studio helped these men deal with the guilt that society threw on them for being submissive.

In an earlier posting I mentioned a much older man who came to me in the studio. As a rough guess this gentlemen may have been well into his seventies. He walked slowly and spoke even more slowly. What does he want, I though. He is spending good money to be here. In the beginning of our time together I was afraid that he didn't have the strength to kneel for more than a few minutes.
As we talked I realized that all of his life his greatest wish was not for money or power or for the toys that make some men happy, but for a woman to rule over him. In a firm but sweet voice I ordered him to his knees. After a few minutes he broke down crying.  For most of his life  he had fantasized about kneeling before a woman and kissing her feet. That day in the studio was his first time. I had him take my shoes off, kiss my feet, and run his tongue between my toes.

A couple of years ago I shared the experience of the older gentleman with Becky. It was one of those long mother daughter conversions where we talk about anything and everything. You know mom,
she said to me, there are times when I feel guilty. David, she told me had given her a couple of books to read. 'What he wants mom is something like you and daddy have' she said to me. 'O' I remember responding. Ever since she was young Becky and I have had the type of relationship where by we could talk about any of the things that mattered to us. I still remember the little book about the birds and the bees. Even back then Becky asked so many questions that we needed an encyclopedia. Of course, back then even the encyclopedias didn't talk much about the world of submissive men.

As the conversation went on I told Becky that some men are simply born naturally submissive. Why, I didn't know, but the why doesn't change the fact that they do need a wife to take control. By this time Becky had known that there was a time when her father and I had been separated, and she understood the reasons for it. In some ways she had been shocked by all that had happened, but she also remembered her teenage years.  As a teenager Becky could get anything from her daddy. She would tease her brother. If he needed extra money John would have him cut grass. All Becky had to do was ask daddy for it. He couldn't say no to her. Yes, talk about a young femdom, and she didn't he even know what the word meant.

Little by little Becky has learned to accommodate her husband. Over time she learned to like being in charge. In a sense her dominance grew like a spring flower. One day it just bloomed. On that day on the mountain she showed off her confidence to both David and her father. John thought to himself will David to do what she's telling him. Becky had no doubt that David was going down that mountain, remove his skies, and wait for her. That evening Becky and David didn't come to dinner with us. Instead they stayed in the lodge room. We now know that was the first night she had given David something of a real punishment. In no uncertain terms she told him that his behavior on the mountain was not acceptable. She told him that her feelings were hurt and that he had embarrassed her in front of her daddy. She put him over her knee. She then used her hairbrush with the very stiff bristles, and then gave him corner time. 'Mom', she later asked 'did I do the right thing'. Only you can answer that question I told her.

One of the things Becky told me was that she thought she would never find the courage to lecture David. That night, however, she was still angry. It may not have been good to mix a lecture with anger, but she did it. David, she told me didn't answer back even one word except yes ma'am when asked for a response. 'How did it make you feel' I asked Becky. In a way it made her feel good that David would really listen , and take to heart what she was telling him. 'Yes', I remember telling her 'welcome to the world of mistress wives.'  'True submissive men don't talk back when a wife is firm with them', I told her. We then shared a small mother daughter laugh that relaxed the conversation.

As mothers we have responsibilities to share things with all of our children, but especially our daughters. Our duty to share doesn't end when they grow up, marry, and have children. What is so special about sharing is that we eventually learn from them as they become the teachers.


Love, Kathy


Saturday, August 6, 2016

My Thoughts On A Saturday Morning

On the last posting I made the statement that the number of truly submissive men in the world is larger than any one would believe. What the actual percentage is I really have no idea. If being submissive to a woman were not a social taboo I suspect  a large portion of the male population would come out as submissive. In earlier generations the biggest taboo of all was being homosexual.
It is impossible for young people today to understand how large of a taboo this was. People were embarrassed to even talk about homosexuality. I was in high school before realizing that there was such a thing as homosexuality. Even in the college dormitories it was something we whispered about. Back than we thought it was an affliction that maybe affected one in every million people or so. Now, of course, we know that the percentage of homosexual people in the world is much higher. The good new for these people and society in general is that being 'gay' is now socially acceptable.

In the early part of the blog I talked about a cousin who was ostracized by the family for being homosexual. While not understanding much about it I remember coming to his defense. My comment at the time was something like that is simply the way he was made. There was kind of a feeling in the family that he should try to over come his homosexuality. He should go to therapy, or simply deny his sexual orientation. My cousin dealt with the family problem by running away. He no longer felt welcome at family gathering. He felt isolated from both his family and many of his friends. He moved to the west coast which was more liberal. We haven't talked in many years, but I understand he lives in Portland, has a husband, and owns a flower shop. My only hope for him is that he is happy.

In many ways it was this cousin that sparked the blog. Working in the studio I was exposed to so many sweet men who wanted nothing more than to live under the authority of a woman. Some of them wanted the bossy bitch, some of them wanted the loving mistress, but most seemed to want a boss lady who was a combination of the two. I was taught to take advantage of this. I was taught to be very sweet with men one moment, and then slap them in the face. I was taught that this kept them off balance, and in some ways this was how I learned to run my marriage. When John first came home I was more of a dominatrix than a wife. John was punished for the smallest infraction. He had no personal freedom. The truth was that I didn't really trust him.

Over the years things have changed. I have learned that living with a submissive husband does not mean he needs to be worked twenty four hours a day. I have learned that a man can be trusted, that he can remain faithful, but that he does have needs. One of the things I have learned is that a submissive man can be very gentle and very loving. In a matter of speaking I have learned the joy of loving a man who is devoted to me. And, taking this a step further I am happy for my daughter who now is  experiencing life with a loving man who worships the ground she walks on.

And, as I tell my daughter there are times when you need to be firm with a guy. Whatever else you do or do not do he needs constant reminders that you are the boss. He needs to have a little fear of you. In a way you need to hold your self up on a pedestal. Never be embarrassed about having him kneel to you. This is what he was made for. He will love you all the more for being firm with him, for training him to meet your expectations. And when necessary there are times when he needs to be punished. If you fail to punish him when necessary, I told her, you are failing the test.

Mom, Becky said to me, treating him this way feels so strange. In time I told her it will feel very natural. The biggest secret in the world I told Becky is that there are many men like David and your father who yearn for a life that is controlled. In a strange sense freedom repulses them. They want a life of service, but more than that they want a life with a wife who is willing to accept them for who they are. Several years ago Becky was astounded to learn that I actually worked as a dominatrix for a time. Did you really do that, she asked. Yes, I told her, I learned to put leashes on man, walk them  on all fours and even kiss the floor that I walked on. For me it was an eye opening experience.

One of the things I told Becky was that most men who came to the studio whished that their wives would be more domineering with them. Most of them said my wife would not understand. How sad I thought for these men. Instead of kneeling at my feet they should be at home on their knees in front of the woman who loves them. They should be serving her, not cleaning bathrooms for Tara. One day it will be socially acceptable for a man to live under the authority of his wife. In some ways I believe there has already been a noticeable shift since the beginning of this blog.

Love you all for reading. I don't know all of the answers. I know very few of the answers. What I do know is the joy of living with a truly humble man who has put me first in his life. What I do know is the sweetness of his kisses, the inner beauty of his devotion, and his kindness. My guy is special. How many like him in the world I don't know. What I do know is that his type is worth looking for.


Kathy