Friday, March 16, 2018

Back To Baiscs.

Where John and I live we have a few weeks of beautiful spring weather followed by a long hot summer. Everyone in our neighborhood tries to make the best of the beautiful weather by having cocktails on their patios, or simply being outside. Yesterday was one of those beautiful afternoons.
John's chores were done for the day. 'Would you mind if I read on the patio', he asked. 'No, of course not, I responded'. And, bring a glass of red wine, and I will sit with you. And, sweetie, you may have a glass if you like. John responded with a polite 'thank you mistress'.

When John brought the wine I was pleased that he delivered it with a slight curtsy. This little show of deference is in accordance with our household protocol, but as of late we have been getting away from things.  In the beginning of the blog I made the statement that if you expect a man to obey you in the big things of life, he needs to first obey in the small things. Remembering to curtsy when delivering a wine glass is a small thing, and in and of itself may not mean much, but it is an out ward expression of his respect for the lady in his life.

Is there anything else you would like-crackers and cheese- John asked. No baby, sit down.
As John moved to the chair I could see the E-reader poking out of the pocket of his shorts. 'What are you reading', I asked, 'show me the cover'.  I could see the look of embarrassment on his face. 'Is it one of those nasty femdom books', I asked. The cover had the image of an attractive lady who actually wore a nice looking skirt. I was expecting something like a nude wrestler with a whip.
What is the book about, I asked. John fessed up that it was about a young lady who dominated her husband to the extent that he became her slave.

'It sounds like a fairly typical plot', I told John. Yes, maybe, John replied, but it is really well written.
'Were you given permission to buy that book,' I asked John. Yes, last month, and he reminded me of the 'when' permission was given. We don't allow pictures in the home or books that objectify women.
The lady on the cover of this book was attractive and tastefully dressed. On that basis it was hard for me to complain. John went on to say that I might enjoy reading it. About that point I changed the conversation.

'What did you think of yesterday's posting,' I asked John. It was very good John replied. Of course John almost always thinks the posting are wonderful. 'Did all of the talk about the teenage years with Becky strike a chord with you?', I asked. 'A little' he replied, but I knew he was thinking about the post. 'You were an awfully good chauffer in those years' I remarked.' Why did you like driving Becky so much,' I asked.

With that 'why' question out of the box  John started to shut down. That was my queue to press the question harder. One of things I learned from Tara was that men give better, more complete answers when they are on their knees. It puts them in more of a submissive frame of mind she told me. So I said to John should I put you on your knees here now in the patio, or are you going to give me a straightforward answer to the question. Our patio is semi private, but if a neighbor happens to be looking out of a window she would see John on his knees in front of me. I knew the thought of being seeing in a comprising position by our neighbor would terrify him.

With that little push John began to answer the question. 'Well, once we were away from the house Becky became the boss'. She no longer asked me to take her here or there, she more or less told me. Sometimes her friends would ask if I could drive them wherever,  and she would answer them for me.
She was never rude, but she assumed that I would go where ever she told me or wait as long as she wanted. 'And did you', I asked. 'Yes', was John's response. 'So in effect you were Becky's submissive', I responded. 'Yes', John replied.

Love, Kathy

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Back To Baiscs

As most of you know I have been struggling with the blog.

Most every day Becky reads the blog, looks at Facebook, and we talk. We talk about the blog, and we talk about what so and so is doing, and things like did you know so and so is pregnant again. Last night we talked for a quite a while. Mom, she said, 'I know that the 'me too' movement leaves you lost.' Becky went on to say don't worry about the movement, and don't be concerned that social changes are passing you by'. Then Becky went on to say that the postings back in the fall months were the very best part of the blog.

After a brief pause Becky went on to say that the postings last fall were so good because they were down to earth, from the heart, and gave the readers a simple but genuine look into the family. She then made the comment that some of those posting stopped to make her think about things. As I recall is was in 'conversations' that we talked about the way John drove Becky and her friends around. Mom,  'I guess it is now safe to tell you about this', I heard her say. 'What?, I responded. 'Whenever I needed a ride or wanted daddy to do something he would ask if it was ok with you',  Becky responded with a little giggle. 'What is so funny about that", I inquired. 'Well pretty often I would just tell daddy that we talked when we really didn't'.

For a brief moment Becky's comment left me speechless. You mean you were lying to daddy I responded. Well, a little bit, but not really Becky responded. For the most part I knew that what I wanted Daddy to do would be fine with you. 'There were one or two times when maybe I wasn't sure, but mom you always said that we think alike so really what was the point in asking you.' I wasn't really angry, but for a moment made a pretense at being a little upset. Then Becky came out with the line that  made me laugh. 'Mom, think about it this way -as a mistress I was just a little ahead of my time.'

We went on to talk about those early teenage years for a few more minutes. I don't know if you ever caught it, but daddy always enjoyed doing things for me and my friends. It wasn't like we made him. It was more like he was a ready volunteer that needed to be asked. Most of the time we would have daddy drive us to the hangout where the boys were, and he would wait in the car. Most of the time we wouldn't be more that thirty or forty minutes and daddy would usually have a book with him.
That was something I didn't know, I confessed to Becky. Once though we were in the shop for over an hour hoping that this one certain cute boy would show up. Did he ever show up, I asked. I don't remember Becky said, but my friends were impressed that daddy waited that long.

As we got deeper into that part of the conversation I couldn't help but ask Becky if she understood back then that her father was submissive. Not exactly, she replied, but she was aware of having a certain type of power over him. She was aware that he wouldn't do the things for her brother and his friends in the same way. If a car ride wasn't convenient she would hear John tell her brother he couldn't take him. He would never tell her no. He would never tell her that it was too late to wait for her and her friends to go to the ice cream parlor after the dance. And, looking back on it she learned the value of thanking John with a smile and a little kiss. In her own way Becky taught her father obedience along with the power of female charm. You might say she conditioned him. These are lessons that John learned well. In Becky he had a really great teacher.

Love,  Kathy

Monday, March 12, 2018

Thoughts On A Monday Morning.

Just wanted to add a comment to the morning post.

Becky gave me a call after reading the post. She said you have most of this post as is should be, but you need to emphasize the fact that there is growing resentment from the men. The manager of the unit is female. She was promoted to that positon last year. She was promoted over a couple of the guys who had been with the company for a longer amount of time. While the company believes in equal opportunity, the men will sometimes say that some employees are more equal then others.

And, Becky also corrected me on my interpretation of lunch. Yes, she said, we sometimes have lunch together, but that is not as common as you make it sound. And, most employees are convinced that if two or more candidates are more or less equally qualified for a promotion it will be given to the female. There is some in fighting among the women. But, no more than in most companies she believes.

The final correction is that the men have become more gentlemanly with the women. They are more courteous, more respectful, and more polite. As in the prior post many of the man are trying to get comfortable with the social changes. This is especially true because the men believe any on of the female employees may become their next supervisor. In another department a woman was promoted over her boy friend. When the company learned of the relationship they asked the young man to resign or take a demotion to another part of the company.

With every social change there are adjustments. The next few years should be interesting.

Love, Kathy

My Thoughts On A Lovely Monday Morning

Thank all of you for the recent comments.

It has been some time since my last posting. For some reason I have just not been into the blog.
I am not quite sure the why of it. Part of the reason is the realization that the 'me too' movement, and the rapid social change associated with it have passed me by. In today's world blogging about social change should be done by younger women who are active in the work force. It is these younger women who are changing society in ways that women of my generation can only wonder about.

The recent comment by Richard s caused me to smile. In the comment Richard says that he began to tell others that he is a submissive husband and that his wife is his mistress. And, as he reports the reaction of people has been positive. In much the same way John has become more open about our relationship. This started with his retirement last year, and has been building up ever since. Even the friend he plays golf with most often now know that he is submissive. The reaction has been positive, even encouraging.

The conversation on the golf course started with an innocent question. John and his friend normally play twice a week. Others are usually included, but John and this one friend almost always play together. It seems that the club had scheduled a special tournament. John's friend asked if he would like to play in it. John's response was that he would need to ask my permission as he was generally allowed to play only twice a week. That remark kind of let the cat out of the bag. When his friend didn't laugh or criticize, John went to say that I was both his wife and his mistress. John's friend immediately understood the meaning of the mistress word, and gave John a reassuring response.

John's friend went on to say that he understood, and between them wished that his wife was more of a mistress. Before John could think of a response his friend indicated he had read several books on female led marriages. And, in a minute or two they were talking together about books they have read on the subject The conversation was something of a spiritual release for both men. As John tells me they were not talking about sex. They were simply two older men talking about the ways in which men were dependent on the women in their lives. They talked about the idea of service and for a moment on two they touched on the concept of female authority in the home without really calling it that. The other gentlemen made a confession to John that totally surprised him. Way back, when they were married, his wife took a vow of obedience as it was what their church expected. He wished, however, that it had been the other  way around with him taking the vow instead of his wife.

There is often a matter of degree with some men being more submissive than others, but in a general way the need of men for female control is much more common than most people with assume. And, what I am now realizing is that this ever present need for female control as well as assurance extends to the work place. There is a need in society for transformative women. By this I mean women who have the desire, the power, and the intelligence to transform the work place into a more productive and  healthy environment.

In the 1980s and 1990s successful women in the work place had to learn to emulate male clothing, and to a large extent act like men. In today's work environment Becky tells me there is nothing wrong with dressing like a woman, and acting like a woman. In her place of employment female ways of doing things are respected. There is more collaboration between employees. Even the local manager gets her own coffee in the morning and fixes it the way she likes. There are no more secretaries, as such, doing their bosses bidding. To use an old fashion expression the bottom line is that femininity is both accepted and respected.

And, it you think this new kind of work force would be hostile to men you would be wrong. Becky tells me there are  men in their group. They are not excluded. Their ideas are welcome, she tells me. The women, who are mostly in charge, welcome the ideas that come from the guys. They want 'inclusion'. If anything, 'inclusion' has become the buzz word in their work groups. How do the men like working with women and for women I asked her. 'For the most part they seem to be fine with it', she responded. In her group there is more emphasis on the 'working with' than the 'working for' she tells me. In problem solving everyone's ideas are valued.

In the old days men and women would generally take their work breaks and lunches separately. Not any longer Becky tells me. Lunch is seen as a time not only  to relax, but also talk about work issues  in a more casual environment.. And, at the end of the day most people will stay and finish what they are doing before leaving the office. The prompt five o'clock exit is a thing of past she tells me. Coming form my background this is hard to believe, but the world is changing. In today's world there is more of a blend between  work and and individual's personal life. And yes, there are emails on weekends and on vacations. A negative Becky tells me is that even on vacation she is never truly away from her job.

The job, the career, or whatever you want to call it has become part of  Becky's identity as a person.
At the same time she thinks of herself as a mother, a wife, and as a mistress.

Love, Kathy

Monday, January 29, 2018

Shades of Pink by Mistress April Reyne

The link to this book came to me from Becky. A friend sent it to her.

As most of you know I generally find these so called femdom books boring and repetitive. Why men like to read them I have no idea. Shades of Pink by April Reyne is different. Yes, there was sex in it, but there was more. The book was also about commitment and trust between two people whose characters were very well developed by the author. For that reason it was a pleasure to read.

The book emphasized the use of male chastity devices as tools for developing a successful a female led marriage. I have often said that male chastity tools may not be a necessity for developing a femdom relationship, but they can certainly speed things along. There has never been any doubt in my mind that 'locking' dramatically changes a man's out look on life. It changes what he thinks about. It affects what is important to him. And, from what I have been told what is most important to the locked male is the happiness of his key holder.

Mistress Reyne seems to recognize the idea that 'locking' causes a man to become extremely attentive to the woman who controls the key. She also seems to understand the psychological reasons why a man would consent to being locked, and even why some men would request a wife to do so. From the book it was not entirely clear that April Reyne was in fact mistress to her husband. However, based on what I read my guess is that she has had real world experience of managing men, and that the mistress title is justified.

Anyway, I hope that each and everyone of you read the book, and enjoy it as much as I have.

Love, Kathy

Friday, January 19, 2018

The Me Too Movement

Over the last couple of months there have been so many wonderful emails from the readers of the blog. Not being active on the blog has provided me with the time to connect with many of you on an individual basis, and it has been good experience for me. And, what I can see is that many of you are suffering. Your need for a confident lady who can take control of your life and guide you to the reality of  femdom life is real. I wish that it would be possible for me to take each and every one of you by the hand and say that it will all be fine. There are some of you who are struggling to find meaning in your lives. The type of meaning that only comes from service to a loving mistress who owns the keys to your heart. My only regret is that I can not be that mistress, but my feeling is that she is out there somewhere.

Like most other people I have been fascinated with the 'me to movement.' As a young woman, many years ago, in a male dominated field there were instances of harassment. As a young accountant in public practice you are required to visit clients. We would generally travel in teams of two or three. There would sometimes be overnight travel, and this is where the problems  generally occured.
After a long day of reviewing spread sheets and reconciling numbers there was always a need for a cocktail. We usually worked until late in the afternoon, and then headed for the hotel bar. If not for the evening drink we probably would have going crazy.

With everyone being on an expense account we generally found a nice restaurant for dinner. It was after dinner that the problems would develop. Not with all of the men, but with a couple of them. It would start with a flirtatious smile or look or even a hand discreetly placed on your leg under the table cloth. Women who have been in business with men know and understand what it is I am talking about. Most of us have experienced this type thing, and for our generation it was just part of working in a male dominated field. It was something we were taught to accept. To keep from offending the men we practiced ways of saying no with a smile. This was especially true when the gentlemen who strategically placed his hand on your leg was also responsible for writing an evaluation report of your performance. As women in business we were powerless.

In a way the so called 'me too 'movement has disrupted my thinking regarding the blog. As all of you know the blog is centered on the home and family. It is about female authority in the home, not the work place. It has always been my thinking that femdom marriage would be the next frontier. Think about it for a few moments. In the 1920s women were first allowed the right to vote. In the 1960s or 70s most minority groups gained legal protection. And finally homosexuality has become legal as well as socially acceptable.  What is left is femdom marriage and the world of men who are submissive to women. While this is legal it is not yet socially acceptable.

In a sense the speed and broad social support associated with the me too movement has brought it front and center of the national debate. No, I take  that statement back. Regarding the me too movement there is no debate. Men who have abused women or who have been accused of abusing women are punished. They are fired from their jobs. They are ridiculed and scorned by a society that only a few years back had no interest in the claims made by these women. The me too philosophy has eclipsed femdom as a social movement.  Along with the me too movement most large corporations are searching for women to replace men on their boards of directors. A major  morning talk show is now cohosted by women. On that show there are women talking with each other. There is no longer a need or a place for a male voice except as filler. It all reminds me of the lyrics of the song, 'I am woman hear me roar'. This time, however, the roar is real and it is loud.

Becky works for a fairly large national company. While they are not looking to promote less qualified women over males, they say, they are actively looking for more female leadership in most management positions. 'How do the men feel about that', I asked her. 'Most of them don't like it' she replied, but they have little choice if they want to stay with the company. She has also noticed a change in the demeanor of the men. Some of them who have a reputation for being kind of flirty have become less so, she told me. There is a growing sense among her female coworkers that the men no longer know how to act. Any thing they do, she tells me, can be interpreted in a negative way. There is a salesmen who would some times give her a hug. No more she tells me. And yes, she misses the hugs and some of the jokes that would make the work day go a little faster.

Sometime during the last week or two I read an on line article that said we are moving toward a puritanical society. Men and women are different, and it is those differences that add color and excitement to our lives. Yes, and at my age I sometimes wish a man would pinch my rear end. It would probably be the highlight of my week. Just teasing, but there is some truth in that statement.
My feeling is that we are moving toward a color blind society where there is a rule or social protocol for every situation. And, instead of being judged by the whole of what we are or the what we have accomplished, we are judged by any random headline that happen to have our picture on it. Men are afraid. In today's work culture women have the power. As they are promoted over male counterparts they will also have the authority. The men who will be successful in this new environment are those who have learned to be pleasing to the women around them.

An unintended consequence of the movement is that it is placing power in the hands of women. By way of a single comment a  secretary can just about derail the career of almost any executive. Becky, who is close to one of the human relations people in her firm tells me that management considers women as safer and more reliable than their male counterparts. Her concern is that it is becoming more difficult for men to secure better jobs, and even more difficult for them to be promoted as each and every male employee is looked on as something of a potential time bomb. 'Do you every worry about David', I asked her. 'You know mom David is the quintessential new age man that you talk about', she replied. She went on to say that he would never do or say anything that was inappropriate. 'Neither would your father' I reminded her, but in today's work environment it is women who are determining what is appropriate. The simple reality is men do not know if an action or behavior is right or wrong, offensive or not until it is judged by female standards. This, I told Becky, is leaving men in a very vulnerable place.

While I don't know everything, what I do see happening is that the changes in the work place are occurring at lighting speed. It is now common for men to work under female supervisors. Women are being promoted over men in the work place, and they are receiving comparable salaries. And, the biggest change of all is that men who are not complying with the new standards of conduct are finding them selves in the unemployment line.

For the moment I am not sure what the 'me to movement' means for society or for female led marriage. What I do suspect is that men who are accustomed to working under the supervision of women will have no problem with accepting female control in the home. And women who are accustomed to supervising men in the work place will think it normal to supervise their husbands in the same manner. Instead of femdom marriage spreading to the work place, I am beginning to see a world that is run by and controlled by women moving from the work place to the home.

Let me hear your thoughts on this topic.

Love, Kathy

Saturday, December 2, 2017

Follow Up

Once again thank all of you for contributing to the blog by way of comments and emails. There was an email from a young wife who is in the early stages of a female led relationship. What seemed to interest her the most was Command Position. 'Is it really possible to train a man to drop to the floor at the snap of your fingers', she asked. 'Yes', I responded, 'if he is truly submissive and is willing to give up control'. Trying Command Positon that evening she was amazed by the fact that her husband not only obeyed as directed, but showed eager willingness for more of the training. 'Who would ever think', she responded the next day. Her comment made me laugh. Between personal experiences and that of  the studio my observation has been that men love to be put under the physical control of a lady by this simple method. With daily drills, over weeks and months, men become conditioned to watching the hands of their mistress and following her non verbal commands. If you sometimes give your man a small treat for responding he will most probably learn faster. I believe the psychologist refer to this as operant conditioning.

After the first day or two this young wife discovered the amazing power that this simple technique of command Position provides to the mistress wife who is willing to use it. The key is repetition so both he and she become accustomed to the act. And yes, it may be in a gentle way, but men do fear a woman who is willing to discipline them with this tool. In the studio we used a variant of this  technique for a number of purposes. In a public situation it can make a man squirm. To help over come my own hesitation Tara reminded me on more than one occasion that it is the 'male' who must drop on command, not you. In other words there was nothing for the lady giving the command to be embarrassed about. As a studio helper it took me some time to get acquainted with the idea that this command should some times be given in a public venue. The men were taught that the longer the time to respond, the longer mistress would keep them in that self comprising position. Tara would sometimes take men on walks wearing 't' shirts that had the words 'her slave' printed on back and front.  Humiliation, especially in public, would send some men into a deep state of sub space where they would do practically anything. Why, I don't know, but I have seem it first hand.

Reading over the last postings John was a little surprised over how quickly they were written.
What I have found is that when writing about a subject that you are passionate about-care about- the words come easy, and the flow is natural. As much as I write many of you still do not understand how John and I live. For the record I am not some type of princess who relaxes all day while my husband slaves away in the house. Yes, he may do the majority of the house work, but I also do a fair amount. On Friday morning John makes me happy when he cleans the mistress bedroom and bathroom and changes the bed sheets. It is really our bedroom, but the mistress bedroom sounds much better on a femdom blog. And, I believe it provides John with a very good feeling to be  put in charge of taking care of our personal space.

But what many of you don't get is that John also makes me happy when he comes back from his golf game all smiles and lovey. Yes, I like my guy to get out the house, get fresh air, and stay active with male friends. But, my guy also understands that golf is a privilege that can be taken away from him if circumstances suggest a need to it. In the morning John makes me happy when he comes into my study with a cup of coffee. A little cream and very little sugar. A good slave knows how his mistress likes her coffee, and John is the best slave a mistress could ever own can. Some of you who are wondering whether the coffee service comes with a polite curtsy. Is there anything wrong with a husband curtsying to his wife. Is it an activity that some would describe as BDSM or is it a simple act of respect and devotion? That is a question for each of you to decide, but I love to see a man curtsy to his lady. For me it is a lovely gesture full of grace and beauty that says a great deal about the character of a man as well as his respect for women-especially those who are in authority over him.

Love, Kathy