Sunday, July 12, 2015

A Time For Love.............

Where John and are it is a beautiful Sunday morning. John has been excused from house hold duties for the day, and we both hope to relax and have some fun. We might try to see the dinosaur movie this afternoon. Not sure. For the moment it is too pretty to sit in a movie theater.

I was not going to post this morning, and in truth I have little to say. In the last couple of days I have been overwhelmed with the response to the blog. I want to tell each of you who commented or who sent emails that I sincerely appreciate your participation. Some of the emails come from business sounding accounts so that I will not respond to those. Your privacy is important to me. The emails help me to understand who your are, and the problems you face in the lifestyle.

It was especially pleasing to have several emails and comments from women. The younger women often feel they have little to contribute. We know that this is not true. These women are learning to accept them selves as mistresses, and their experiences are very valuable. Men want to put these women up on pedestals, and often they are not ready. These women have no idea how much men, even older men, worship the ground they walk on. In men's eyes these women really are something of a goddess.

Men often say they want a femdom relationship, and when the wife bosses them a little, they resist.
This destroys the confidence of the wife. It makes it difficult for her to assert any type of real authority over a husband. In a true femdom relationship it doesn't matter who earns the money.
The money all belongs to the wife. My son in law, David, makes more money than Becky. It doesn't matter because as a slave husband all of the money belongs to the wife. She controls it, and gives her husband an allowance that can be taken away depending on his behavior. It takes time, and confidence to establish this type of a relationship.

It should also be mentioned that while Becky and David are open about their relationship with us, they are less open with David's family. It is not that they are ashamed, but there is a feeling that his family would not understand. Its more complicated. In the same way John and I are not ashamed about who we are or how we live, our neighbors and business associates have no idea that John lives as my slave husband. John has a thin collar that he wears under a dress shirt. No one knows it is there, but John likes the security of having it on. I also like the idea of my husband being locked and collared whenever possible.

Femdom is not something we preach. If it works for you and your guy, fine. It is important to remember that femdom is about intimacy with a man. It is about love and caring. It is about allowing a man the freedom to live the type of life he was meant to live. And yes, as I previously said, if I were a young single woman I could totally fall in love with a guy who was submissive in both personal relationships and in business relationships. Submissive men are sweet. They are treasures to have and to hold. My daughter is lucky to have one. And, this is the first time I have said this,  hope she keeps her treasure under lock and key.


Friday, July 10, 2015

A time For Love..........

Over the last few days we have had some really great comments. When I read sentences that refer to a wife's vision with words such as altruism I know that gentlemen 'gets' it. When another gentlemen writes about financial control, I know he 'gets' it. Yet, over the last twenty four hours this blog has had well over a thousand visitors, and only a few comments. Many of you are so much in fear of being 'outed' that you are terrified to engage. One of the things David mentioned to me it that for a long time he lived in fear of women who displayed confidence or aggression. In the beginning, he tells me, he was afraid of Becky. He liked being with her, but was afraid of her. This is a concept that should be discussed on a blog. However, there are many more concepts that should be discussed, and the comments should be leading to additional discussion.

I want each of you who are not commenting to tell me why. I won't bite your head off, and if you tell me up front, your comment will not be published. You may also email to me.
You really are my babies and I want to hear from you. I am not afraid of your criticism. You don't need to agree with me in order to comment. I want you off the couch.


Thursday, July 9, 2015

A Time For Love.........

Thank all of you for the comments. Once again, femdom relationships are not for everyone. I don't believe femdom marriages will ever become common place because most women do not feel comfortable with a truly submissive man. No, what I should say is that most women do not feel comfortable with the idea of a truly submissive man.

What I believe is that most women want a husband who is a partner, who is fully engaged with parenting, and making decisions. What women do not want is a husband who behaves more like a child than an adult. This, at least, is the view most women have of submissive men from the outside.

On the inside the view of submissive men is very different. They are very sweet. They are very caring. They are also with proper discipline very obedient. I have learned to see obedience in a man as a virtue. This took time, and a retraining of my ideas of what traits an ideal man should possess.

Many of you will remember the posting entitled the French Press in which David brought Becky her coffee in the morning. When he returned from the bed room, David asked if I wanted to exchange my cup of percolated coffee for a cup of French press. Yes, of course, I replied. Since the children were not yet up, David and I had a short conversation. 'Do you enjoy serving Becky', I took the liberty of asking. 'Yes, very much so' David replied. 'It just feels so natural, and it makes me feel good to please her' David told me.

David's response to the question was a lot like John's. True submissive men enjoy serving a woman.
It doesn't mean they are weak. It doesn't mean they can't truly engage in family life. I started to ask David one more question when he heard the call bell ring. The call bell meant Becky wanted his presence in the bedroom. 'Excuse me, ma'am' I need to see what Becky wants.

Putting everything in prospective about the pressures of modern living, is it so bad for a wife to have a loving, attentive husband who has a need to serve?  Let me hear what you think.


Wednesday, July 8, 2015

A Time For Love....

Several years ago, while contemplating doing a more female-family friendly femdom type of blog, I wondered if Femdom 101 would be successful. At that time almost all of the blogs were masculine in nature with a heavy focus on sexual issues. Men, I was told liked to talk about sex, and needed graphic images of women to fill any void left by the discussion. In that world of internet porn I wondered out loud to John if a blog about loving female authority centered on family life would be appreciated.  As I made a few comments on Fd's blog, John became my biggest supporter.

Over the years of our marriage John and I have had countless discussion concerning the nature, causes, and the needs of the male submissive. John has always felt that the need of men like him for female authority in every day life was much more than just a fetish. As John put it to me, his need to serve a superior female goddess was a basic, intransient part of his soul. For John having a mistress wife to love and serve completes him as a person. Over the last few years Becky and I have had numerous discussions about this issue. For a long time, I heard things like mom this works for you and daddy, but I am not sure it is for me. For Becky the pushing for a femdom relationship came from her husband, not from me. In most ways I was a sounding board for Becky's thoughts rather than an instigator.

One of the things women need to understand is that being a mistress wife does not equate with being a bitch. In truth, in order to be happy, content with life some men need not only the love of a woman, but her authority and discipline as well. From observations I shared with Becky that David was one of these men who very much needed a strong female force in his life with the courage to hold him accountable for his actions. Like her father David is a man who is driven to succeed in the work place. Financial success is important for his ego. Obtaining it, however, is not enough to make him happy. He  needs a purpose for being successful other than the idea of having money for its intrinsic value. He needs, as I explained to Becky, to make an offering of his earnings.

This past spring Becky took the step of removing David's name from their checking, savings, and investment accounts. David's pay check goes into a joint account, and is immediately transferred to an account in Becky's name only.  She also took the step of removing his name from credit cards, except for a prepaid card which David uses to buy necessities such as gas and groceries. When necessary she transfers more money into it. Like her father David is allowed a weekly allowance for lunches and small items he needs to purchase.  Like her father David has no financial freedom.
Like I'm Hers with Katie, David is the one who requested these changes. It took Becky some time to fully understand that taking control of David's life was an act of love.

Although I have been something of a mentor to Becky she is in every respect her own woman.
Like me she believes strongly in the value of female only conversations. The presence of men, she told me, is often an interference. This she told me after dismissing both her father and David from the room. We both understood that while we love our men it was time for girl talk. We talked on into the night. We talked about the little things that matter for woman. We talked about the children.  We talked about what these changes may mean for her family. We talked not only as a mother and daughter, but as best friends, and as woman who were both mistresses to their men. Most of the blogs  acknowledge the importance of communications between a couple, but what is usually neglected is the importance of women sharing with other women in a way only we can understand.


Tuesday, July 7, 2015

A Time For Love

It seems like a long time since siting down at the computer to do a posting. In many ways I do think of each of you as one of my children. Many of you are well into middle age and beyond, yet you  come to my blog for inspiration and sometimes hope. Many of you have made progress. Many of you have opened up to your wives, many of you have not. Many of you are not really sure what you want in life, but know that on the inside you are not happy. The quest for money, for power, and for ego that comes with being a man has left many of you with kind of an empty feeling as you grow older.

One of the things, I believe, that truly fulfills some men's lives is devotion to a female ruler- a mistress who loves and cares, and who holds a man accountable for his actions. A devotion that involves not only sexual matters and love, but a  spiritual bond of service, of obedience, and respect for female authority in almost every faced of life. Most humans have a deep seated spiritual need of some type. In modern society that spiritual need has often been suppressed and replaced by a quest for material things.

In a femdom home the wife becomes the spiritual authority for her husband. It is often her conscious that dictates what church to attend, values to impart to the children, where to live, and what is right from wrong. In a sense by obeying his wife a husband is furfilling the role God intended for him. It may surprise many of you to know that those are not my words. It was John who first expressed these ideas to me. In the beginning I thought these words were just a bunch of mumbo-jumbo that made it easier for him to justify seeing a dominatrix. After tem plus years in a femdom relationship, I now understand that for john these words have meaning.

This past week John and I met with Becky and her family at a beach resort on the Florida coast.
That first evening in the condo we went out for a nice dinner. Both Becky and her husband seemed very relaxed with both themselves and the children. For the first time the four of us talked openly about the importance of female authority in the home. David, who had never been very religious talked about how Becky had brought him closer to God. He also admitted that he felt comfortable living in her shadow, obeying and serving her, and that he was now more happy than he had ever been in his life. It was like, as he put it, he was reborn.

That evening in the condo the four of us put the children to bed, read them stories, and settled in for an after dinner drink. As the four of us were talking Becky calmly announced, 'mom and dad, we have something to tell you'. For the moment I thought she and David were expecting, but with a nod of her head she excused David from the room. A short few minutes later David returned from their bed room. He was wearing a collar. That's the surprise, Becky said, David officially belongs to me. He bent over Becky, and she gave him a kiss while raping her fingers around his collar.

What pleased me most was that neither one of them were the least bit embarrassed. From our relationships they both understood that John and I would be acceptant of what they were doing.
From then on everything seemed so natural. I kissed Becky and David. Becky came over to kiss her father, and the two men shook hands. As we continued the conversation Becky pointed to the floor next to her. David understood where he was to sit-at the feet of his mistress.

It is kind of taken for granted that women need love. Men, however, as much as they may not want to admit also have a need for love. Most of you who read this blog have the need for the love of your wives and families. In many cases you are afraid to admit to your submissive nature for fear of lousing that love. In a way I think of this blog as a safe place where you can come, express your inner thoughts, and know that you will be accepted. In a way you really are my internet children.
In some ways I wish that it would be possible for me to put a collar on each of you, hold it in my fingers, and give each of you a little kiss as Becky did with David.


Saturday, June 20, 2015

Saturday Morning

A few minutes ago I made a comment, but then thought that a short posting might be better.

Thank all of you for the comments and for sharing. I think it is important to the femdom community that we come out of the shadows.  People need to be aware that we exist as real husbands, wives, and as families with children. We are not just people who come out to play games on certain days of the week. People need to understand that for us female authority within the home is real. They also need to understand the importance of  family values to us. Above all people need to understand that our homes are filled with love. Our marriages are not based on a principle of a whip and chain even though we, as women, understand the importance of disciplining a husband.

This week I will be traveling for work and will not have time to post. If anyone would ask John he would tell you that the keys to my heart have always been a sweet smile, flowers, and poetry.
Thank you Alex for those sweet words that did so much to brighten my day.

How many of you, I wonder, would feel silly writing a love poem for your wife. Would she think it silly? Every so often John will write a poem for me, and I love it. Hope that this week  each of you gentlemen do three things for me. First, remember to always greet your wife with a smile and a kiss. Second, one day this week bring her flowers. Third, if you dare, write a little poem for her. Put it with the flowers, or some place where she is sure to see it. And yes, lets make this an assignment where you report back to me.

Hope to be back to the blog in a week or so.

Love, Kathy

Thursday, June 18, 2015

The Cultural Revolution......

Thank all of you for the great comments.

What I believe is more and more women are learning to enjoy men who have a softer side. One of my girlfriends is bold enough to send her husband flowers at his office. He was a little embarrassed, but had to admit that he enjoyed having the flowers on his desk. The flowers, he told her, made him smile , and he enjoyed the sweet scent. Yes, men have a softer side, and the cultural revolution is allowing them to show it.

One of the things I love is to see a man blush. Sometimes in conversations with girl friends we forget that men are over hearing what we say. It might be a husband or a cute young waiter who is not accustomed to hearing women talk with other women. Men don't realize how much our conversations are censored when they are present. When Becky and I really want to talk we send the men away.
Both husbands understand that they are only allowed to reenter the room when sent for.

My question for today concerns flowers. How many of you would be happy to receive a gift of flowers from your wife?