Monday, August 17, 2015

Acceptance.......

Overnight I had been away for the computer. Needless to say I am very pleased with the number and quality of the comments that appeared on my screen this morning. Thank all of you very much for sharing. As individuals one of the things we need to do more of is share. We need to be more aware of the needs of our neighbors, our friends, and people in our community. Men need to be more aware of the needs of their wives, and wives of their husbands. Few wives realize they can bring a smile to their man's face simply by having him hold a purse while they use a restroom or search the racks for clothing. Few man understand how appreciative their wives often are of them doing a simple chore around the house that makes their day just a little bit easier.

As all of you know I read a large number of comments and emails from men. I read the comments on Femdom 101 as well as several other blogs. Most of the comments share one important universal. When guys talk about their wife or mistress they almost always describe her as beautiful. I suspect that the looks of many of these women are quite normal, even plain. Never the less in the eyes of the submissive man his mistress is the most beautiful woman in the world. Is it her demeanor, her feminine charm that so captivates the male. I have often asked my self why is this. What is so special about this one woman that can so capture the love and attention of one particular man? What is it about one certain woman that makes a man want to drop to his knees in adoration of her.

One of the recent comments came from Mark Remond. In the comment he described the latest blog post as being arousing for the submissive man. In the past, on occasion, I have been told that certain posts were 'hot'. In each case I have reviewed the post, often read it out loud in an effort to determine what about it may have been 'hot'.  My desire is to try to keep the blog in a more of a vanilla mode. I use the term family friendly. Many of the male readers tell me that they share the blog with their wives. I share this blog with my daughter and hope one day in the distant future she can share it with her daughter. It is my hope that one day in the future my daughter's daughter will enjoy the devotion of one special man whose life is a quest for her pleasure.

We all have our blessings in life. My blessing is a sweet, loving submissive man who believes I am the most beautiful woman in the universe.(LOL) We share our life with one another. This blog, Femdom 101, is my way of sharing my gift with the community. Love all of you for reading.



Love,  Kathy

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Acceptance......

Thank all of you who were kind enough to share your thoughts on this series. Accepting a person who is a little different from the norm can lead to a beautiful relationship. Most of the submissive men I have interacted with over the years have been sweet and kind. Their simple need is to find a lady who is willing to lead them, be their moral compass, and accept them for who they are.
What doing this blog has taught me that there are a lot more of these men in the world then anyone would guess.

The other thing that should be mentioned is that we are now only beginning to see the power given to woman by the use of chastity devices. Not only do men want to be locked, but women are beginning to understand the benefits of having a spouse who is kept under lock and key.  Few are willing  to talk about it in polite society, but the use of so called male chastity devices is spreading quickly. Whether used for a day at a time or for long term prevention, these devices are changing the way men and women interact. My suspicion is that within a few more years the use of these devices will become common with young people who are in long term relationships.

I was a little disappointed by the lack of comments on this series. Becky previewed each of the post.
She felt that each of the posting were too long for the attention of most readers. She is probably correct.  There were, however, some wonderful emails. There was one email in particular that made a strong impression on me. This gentlemen is already in a femdom relationship. One of his statements is that when kneeling at his wife's feet he feels higher than any other man. I thought that was one of the most simple, yet profound statements any husband has made concerning devotion to his wife.

In Becky's words 'learning to be a mistress is learning to enjoy a whole new dimension in life'.
We tend to stay with the old. The old is comfortable. New ideas about loving and living are scary. We are not naturally dominant. Yet, as women we have the power to lead men. We have the power to change the world for the better.


Love, Kathy

Friday, August 14, 2015

Acceptance....

While I very much enjoyed the extended visit with Becky, what I missed the most was the opportunity to be with my husband. At home John and I talk every night before bed. I still like to cuddle with him under the blanket. And yes, even at my age I enjoy the feel of his strong mainly arms around me. There are something's we as women never tire of. And one of those things is hearing John say I love you as we close our eyes together.

Without John in the room my mind wondered in all sought of ways. Sleeping in Becky's home I thought back to when she was a little girl and a bad storm woke her up. John and I went to her room to tell her that everything would be alright. Gosh, I thought, how could that many years have gone by that Becky now has her own home and family.

After a few minutes of thinking about the past my mind came back to the present. It suddenly occurred to me that Becky was only pretending to show off the inscription in David's collar.
That was really just an excuse. What she really wanted to do, I surmised, was to show me how obedient and respectful David has become. Either way as a mother and as a mistress wife I was impressed with the level of obedience David displayed during the evening. On the other hand, I know the demonstration might have ended differently if she tried it in front of David's mother.
As far as I know his side of the family is not aware that they have a femdom relationships. And, I suspect that is for the best in that they most probably would not be so understanding as John and I.

The next day I mentioned to Becky that I was very impressed with the way she handled David on the previous evening. 'Thank you mom' for the compliment Becky responded. 'David and I have been working hard to improve his manners.  We have established a number of protocols. The protocols make it easier for both of us. David understands what is expected of him, and understands that punishment will follow if he disappoints'. 'The other things is that he is much happier when I insist on things. He wants to obey. He wants to please me. Part of what we did the other night was the result of his recent training.  The first few times I signaled him to kneel he just laughed. He thought it was so funny. 'It took some time', Becky told me 'for him to understand that kneeling in front of me was a serious matter'. 'He finally understood that if he failed to obey my commands the femdom part of our marriage would be over. If he wanted to play at femdom Becky told him to see a dominatrix.

Becky went on to explain that the rituals are practiced over and over again so they are second nature to David. Yes, of course, I responded. I do the same with your father I reminded her. 'I know mom'.
'Who do you think taught me how to train a man', she responded. We both shared a little giggle.
David, she told me is a lot like daddy. He has that certain desire, need or whatever you call it to obey.
David wants to be owned. He wants his life to be managed by me. He takes pride in being a good servant . If you noticed mom David was not at all embarrassed about being shown off in front of you.
Then, Becky said something that really impressed me. 'Mom' she said 'David is still not completely
comfortable with being my submissive.' 'Oh' I responded. "Yea, like that time on the ski slope. His ego got in the way of doing what he was supposed to do.' 'There are times, quite often, when he feels  stress over the perceived loss of his traditional manhood. It frightens him. He doesn't understand how to deal with it. To my self I thought that is a common problem with many men. They fear the loss of control, the loss of their manhood, and the raff of society it other people find out about their marriage arrangement.

After thinking about it for a moment I agreed with Becky. David's demeanor indicated no sign of embarrassment over be shown off in front of me. 'To the contrary', David looked like a very proud man. Becky told me that for David it was an honor to be shown off in front of his wife's mother-the blogger, the disciplinarian, and mistress par excellence' she said with another giggle.." 'Well, I don't know about that' I responded. What I do know though is that Becky and I shared another wonderful conversation. We laughed, we talked, and we bonded. One day I hope she can share these wonderful stories with her own daughter. Hopefully, by then,  society might consider it perfectly normal for a man to be ruled by a woman. Some colleges already have programs in woman's studies. What would be so far off as a program teaching young women how to deal with submissive men. For many women it would be more  useful than calculus. It would certainly be more interesting than the old fashioned home-ec classes. Believe it or not way back when I actually took one of these college home education classes. It was a land grant university. The boys were required to take two years of ROTC. The girls were steered to either traditional teacher development programs, secretarial science, or home economics. With the degree I studied for back then there were hardly any women in the program. We were told that women would not be hired with this degree. Many of you have no concept of how things have changed over the last few decades. The explosion of societal change is now happening at an even faster pace. When I was in college homosexuality was a crime. A male wearing women's clothing would have been arrested. Think about all of these changes for a few minutes, and what the possibilities are for the future of femdom.We need to bring it our of the dominatrix studies into the home.

Now that I have spoken it is time for each of you to comment. Should fedmom be taken out of the studio into the home? If so, what is the best way to accomplish this? Is femdom simply a fetish or is it a legitimate alternate way of living. Should more married men live under the authority of their wives?
What would be the up side? What, if any, would be the down side? Many of you who read this blog are very timid. You are afraid to speak up and this is often natural with submissive men. If it makes it easier to communicate your thoughts, you may also email. kathy4563@gmail.com


Love you for reading, Kathy





Thursday, August 13, 2015

Acceptance...

The family home I grew up in was very religious and very Catholic. We went to mass on Sundays as well as holy days of obligation. Once a month at least we went to confession and had communion. Back then communion was often reserved for special occasions. We accepted the church, we accepted its rules and it's obligations as a sacred rite. The only criticism my mother ever expressed about the church concerned advice from the priest. They don't live in the real world my mother would often say. They don't know what it is to raise children. They don't now what it is to worry about having sufficient money to pay the bills. They are largely taken care of by the church.

In many ways my mother and I had the same type of relationship as I have with Becky. On days when we had a large family dinner she would spend much of the time cooking. I was often the helper, but it was more than that. On those days we would talk. We would share experiences and talk about things that mattered to us. In high school one day I asked a question that required some thought. I was kind of going out with a boy whom I was sweet on. 'How do you know when you are in love with a person', I asked. There was a moment of silence before my mother spoke.

My mother's response was a little vague at first as if she was thinking while starting to talk. 'Well, for starters', she said 'it is important that you like being with a person'. 'Loving a person is different than being in love', she explained. 'When you are really in love it changes your entire outlook on life.
Not only do you want to be with that person, but you want to share things with him. His joys become your joys, his sorrows become your sorrows she told me. And, she told me that when you really love a person you want to do good things for him.

It was several weeks later that much of what she said finally began to sink in. For my mother cooking a meal for the family was an act of love. It, however, was a special act of love for my father in that she always cooked what he liked. Yes, I though, one day I will be a wife with a family and husband to please. As a high school girl the thought of a family was not unpleasant.

It was our fifth or sixth day of my stay with Becky. Like all of the other days it was busy. With two children in the home there is very little time to relax. The children were finally in bed, the story read, when the three of us settled down in the living room for the evening news. With the news almost finished David asked to be excused as he had laundry to fold. At that moment my thought was that he showed very good manners in asking to be excused rather than just leaving on his own volition.
It is a very simple thing, but in femdom relationships men should always have permission from their mistress to leave her presence. It is a matter of simple politeness and respect.

While David was away Becky brought up the subject of his collar. 'Mom' she said 'I would like you to see the inscription on David's collar'. She called him back into the room. As he approached her presence, he stopped, he did a slight bend of his knee like a polite courtesy while awaiting her instructions. Without speaking a word she pointed to the floor in front of her chair. David understood it was the signal to kneel. With the key in hand she unlocked the collar. She slipped it off his neck and handed it to me. She and I then talked about the inscription. David understood that the conversation was then between his mistress and her mother. He understood that his place was to kneel up straight in a respectful manner and remain silent unless spoken to.

Its takes courage for a man to kneel before his wife. It takes even more courage for a man to kneel before his wife in the presence of her mother. After David was excused from the room I complimented Becky on his manners. In femdom relationships a compliment should always be paid to the mistress. She is the person responsible for a man's training.  It was my hope that she passed that compliment on to David, but I knew that was her decision to make, not mine.. Then, I thought about my mother cooking dinner for the family.

The reason Becky agreed to accept David as her submissive was the same as my mother had for cooking a family dinner. She, like Becky, had a desire to please her husband. In modern marriages the things we do are often different than what our mothers may have done. Yet, the reason women do things has not really changed. We want to show our men that we love them, that we accept them for who they are.


Love, Kathy

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Acceptance..

This morning I would like to talk a little more about the subject of acceptance. It took Becky over five years to really accept the idea of having a collared submissive as a husband. This, in spite of having a mother who writes a femdom blog, and having a father who is totally owned by her mother.
On the other side of the issue masculine acceptance of a submissive nature can be even more difficult, and more consequential.

In my experience many men want to deny the existence of their submissive nature. As males mature from adolescence to adult hood and into middle age they tend to struggle against who they are.
Many men try to convince themselves that they are not submissive to women. They pretend to be the masculine image that is so very socially acceptable. Many of these men marry, have families, and live a life in a type of shadow of who they really are. These are the men who are often despondent, not connected to their wives and families, and in a way are not really there for their children. These are the men who come home from work and practically live on the internet while ignoring everyone in the home. This is a hard concept for me to express, and I am not sure my words exactly match what I want to say. Do some of you see yourselves in this description?

When you spend time with a couple, staying in their home for a week or longer you get to know things about the way they live that are often hidden from the outside world. The invitation from Becky came a few weeks ago. The lady who watches their children had to go in for a medical procedure. It was not a life threating type of thing, but their was a period of time in which she could not work. 'Mom', she said 'would you like to come take care of the children for a week or so while the sitter is recovering'. 'Yes' of course 'I immediately responded'. In some of the blog comments, I had been referred to as a important business person. Well, for the record I still do work out of the home, but the job I love the best is that of being a grandmother.

As all of you know from reading the blog Becky and I love to talk. We talk as mother and daughter.
We talk as friends, and we talk as two women who have submissive men for husbands. It works for me because for me femdom is not about sex. For me femdom is simply about a way of living and loving. Someone once described Femdom 101 as being something of a sex blog. 'Where did they get that idea' I thought. Really, I am not to old to understand that femdom has something of a sexual character or overtone for many men, but for me talking about femdom is as straight forward as talking about politics or the evening dinner.

It is this attitude that helps me talk with Becky and her husband. One of my first conversations with David happened earlier this summer. You should all remember the 'French Press' posting. I asked David to inquire with his mistress as to what time we should go shopping.  He was just a little red faced that I had referred to Becky as his mistress, but in the end it broke the ice. A little later in the visit I took the liberty of asking David how he felt about living as a submissive husband. On his end, he told me, it had often been a struggle. If not for the fact that his in-laws had a femdom marriage, he would never have opened up with Becky. It was really John, more than anyone else, who gave him the inspiration to admit to him self that he was truly a submissive man on the inside.

Once he admitted his nature it to him self, David told me, it was easier for him to talk with Becky. For a long time David told me he wanted so much to think of Becky as being something of a mistress to him.That day, five years ago, when Becky told you and John to turn off the television station you did as told? The question mark hung how their like an invitation for David to open up. Yes, David told me that he was excited that day. Not only did she tell us to turn off the television, but she gave me duties. He always loved it, David told me, when Becky spoke to him in a firm voice. On the ski slope that day it took you a while to do as told? Yes, it was his stupid ego acting up, David told me.
That evening in the condo, when you and John were at dinner, Becky spanked me for the first time, David told me. Did you feel like you deserved the spanking, I asked. 'Yes, oh yes' David responded.
'And, in a way the spanking kind of cleared the air between Becky and I' he told me. 'It was not that the spanking was so very painful or anything like that', David relayed 'but that she was willing to do it meant a lot to me'.

In the past I have taken the position that spanking an adult man is not a practical method of discipline. While it may not be for me, I have come to the conclusion that spanking in a femdom marriage has its benefits. The spanking Becky gave David in the condo may have been more
fluff than serious, but it never the less had a significant impact on David's psychic. For one thing it showed David that Becky was willing to accept him as something of a submissive, and secondarily that she cared enough for him to do something she may have felt less than comfortable with.

One of the sweet things that David told to me were the words that John had given to him a few years back. 'Real men' said John 'learn to please the women in their life. They learn to serve her, to be there for her in good times and bad'. While John had never told me he spoke these words to David, it is obvious by the way he lives his life that these words have real meaning for him. Over the years John has learned to accept me as his mistress, his owner, as the woman whom he obeys in all matters.
I have learned to accept him as my loving and devoted slave who is at my constant beck and call, and who is my emotional support in times of need.

By our mutual acceptance we have enriched each other's lives in so many ways. What many of you don't get is true femdom is about much more than simply having a husband who cleans house and does your laundry. It is about having a life partner who care for you, who enriches his own life by being there for you, by being of service to you. The life of a mistress wife with a loving husband is very special. It is certainly a life I would recommend for my daughter or most any young women who has confidence in her self.


Love,  Kathy

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Acceptance.

I hope everyone enjoyed the last series of post. All of you should know that I was extremely pleased with the response to the Time For Love postings. Aside from the excellent comments there were  many, many heartfelt emails. I continue to be surprised as well as delighted by how many of you are in some type of a femdom relationship. Many of you are still in the wilderness looking for that person who is willing to take charge. It is not easy to find that special lady who has the willingness to be the
boss. It is my fondness hope and prayer that the last series of posting enabled some of you to talk more openly with the lady in your life. Hopefully, that special lady will find a way to accept who your are.

In the Time For Love series I talked a great deal about Becky. While staying in the condo with her and her family John and I learned that she had recently decided to collar David for the first time.
We didn't talk about the actual collar, but it is a beautiful metal device that she purchased on the internet. It came with a small brass lock and two keys. The collar is thin enough for David to wear under a dress shirt without it showing. What I didn't know in July was that Becky had taken the collar to a local jeweler to have it engraved. While we were visiting the week before last she removed  the collar from David's neck in order show me the lovely inscription. It read 'to my beautiful little slave boy, you will always belong to me and have a place in my heart'.

As I read the inscription for the fist time it caused me to smile. In the back of my mind I was wondering what the jeweler though about putting such an inscription on a collar that was clearly designed for a man's neck. She said, 'you know he was totally fine with it'. She had actually gone to him first with the idea of purchasing the collar in the store. He didn't have any, and recommend that she try the internet. When she came back to the store a few weeks later- collar in hand he just smiled. When she showed him the inscription she wanted, he smiled again. 'Were you embarrassed', I asked. 'No, not really', she told me. As he finished writing up the ticket the jeweler commented to Becky that her husband is a very lucky man. The comment from the jeweler made her feel special. She told me that she thanked him for saying that.

It was the lucky man comment that kind of got my mind wondering about how many truly submissive men there must be in the world. It would be so great if each one of them could wear a big read S on their clothing as a public sign of their affinity. Then, women who wanted one of these men could pick and chose who they liked as it they were picking fruit in a grocery store. This is a fantasy, of course, but in a way wouldn't it be wonderful if men could openly signal their submissive nature to women without fear of rejection.

One of the things I want to say is acceptance of new ideas, new way of living and loving can often take time. Going through old postings this afternoon I cam across  'Crossing the Threshold' from December 2009. This was the first time, as far as I can recall that Becky actively used her feminine nature to give orders to men. Some where along the way she began to understand that men actually want to be ruled by women. Understanding this is one thing, accepting this concept is something else.
From that day forward I do believe John looked at his daughter with a new level of respect.

The point of all of this, however, is that the original post is now over five years old. It took over five years for Becky to go from giving her husband and father a few simple directions to actually placing a collar around the neck of her husband. Acceptance does not always happen instantly, or even overnight. Often, it takes time for new ideas to settle in.


Love, Kathy









Crossing A Threashhold Reposting From December 2009

It happened on the Sunday after Thanksgiving. On the surface it seamed like one of those little things that no one pays attention to. Then, looking back I realized the significance of what had just happened. Yes, without thinking about it, John and I just crossed another one of those thresh holds in our relationship.

We went to Atlanta to celebrate Thanksgiving with our daughter and son-in-law. It was a lot of work for both of them. Their house was beautiful, and the dinner was wonderful. Our son-in- law's mother joined us for dinner. She is divorced. On Sunday she and I decided to do some Christmas shopping. My daughter had work to complete for Monday morning and decided to stay home with the two guys. They, of course, were watching the games on television. There seams to be no end to the games this time of year.

On the way out I casually mentioned to my daughter that she was in charge. At the same time I told John that I didn't want him watching television all day. He needed some exercise. With her big silly grin, she said don't worry mom, I will take care of it.

Later in the evening, when we were along I asked John about his day. He said it was fine.
He said it felt funny being under the authority of our daughter. I said 'oh'? The truth is that I didn't even think about it that way. He heard me tell Becky that she was in charge. John interpreted the remark to mean that I was talking about him.

Toward the end of the game, John tells me Becky came into the television room, and told the guys that the TV was to be turned off promptly at the end of the game. John told me she was very polite, but had a no non sense attitude about her self. At the end of the game the two guys looked at each other, and thought we better turn it off.

A minute after the television was turned off, she came back into the room. John tells me she gave her husband a house work assignment, and told him that he could either help her husband with the housework or take a walk. She said, 'mom wants you to have some exercise. Since I am in charge that is what you are going to do' John said she spoke with a sweet voice, but was very firm.

I then asked John what he did next. He felt a little uncomfortable about accepting an order from his daughter. He answered 'yes ma'am' with an exaggerated voice, but did do as told. He went for a walk. Yes, I told John our little girl has grown into a women to be proud of.

Love, Kathy