Thursday, December 1, 2016

The Lemon Drop Martini-Reposting

Both John and I had a lovely Thanksgiving.  The turkey, the ham and all the fixings were wonderful. Most of all what I enjoyed was the time with family. We spent three days with Becky and three days with our son. Grandchildren and dogs have a way of livening up a family gathering. Here is a reporting of a reposting of my very favorite post with the comments. Sometimes I wonder about how many of you who wrote those comments a year or two ago continue to read the blog.
It would be fun to hear from you. It would be fun to hear how your lives, your relationships, and your marriages have progressed. Also, if you have any funny Thanksgiving stories please share them.

Love, Kathy

There have been a couple of requests to repost the Lemon Drop Martini. It is a short post, but in many ways it is one of my favorites. For one thing it illustrates the sweetness and kindness of my husband. It also showcases the submissive man's desire to both serve and please. Why, I ask myself would any woman reject this type of a man as a husband. So anyway here is the original with an introduction which was written a year or so ago. One lesson that many of you need to learn is that when your mistress ask you to perform a chore you simply do it and do it with a smile. You may be asked to serve or to wash windows. The only reply that usually needs to be made is 'yes mistress'.
How many of you truly get that?

Love Kathy

Here is a reposting of one of my very favorites.

My husband is a true submissive. On this fall day one year ago he had the pleasure of serving the three of us. Men like John are so cute when they are made to blush, and it does happen from time to time. What, however, was so special for John was the chance to serve the neighbor's daughter. She was barely twenty years old, if that. John had known her as a child. Yet in spite of the age difference,
in spite of knowing her form a young age, John was still most submissive toward her. He was every bit as attentive to her as he was to our neighbor.

When I questioned John about how it felt to serve this young lady he replied that it felt very natural.
If not for my studio experience I would have been somewhat shocked to see an older man serving a young girl. Yet, in the studio it was the same way. It was mainly middle age men, or older, on their knees in front of twenty something year old women.

It is easier to serve older women or younger women, or does it matter?


Where John and I live the air has recently turned to fall. The air is cool and humidity is low. Taking advantage of the beautiful outdoors I invited a neighbor to join me in the garden. As we set down I offered her a soft drink. John had been in the back yard working in the garden. After a few minutes of 'girl talk' my neighbor complemented me on what  a good job my husband was doing. And yes, we agreed, that working with the hand clippers was excellent exercise for men.

For some strange reason the conversation turned to favorite drinks. The neighbor had been to a party the night before where the host served the ladies Lemon Drop Martinis. 'John', I responded 'makes an excellent Lemon Drop Martini'. It is one of his special drinks. All of a sudden the soft drinks we were holding tasted dull. 'How about a Lemon Drop Martini' I asked 'John would love to make one'. 'No, he is busy' came the response'

Instead of accepting her negative response, I called 'sweetie, over here'. John immediately answered his summons. I let him stand in front of us for a moment or two while we talked more about cocktails. 'We decided that we would each love to have one of your Lemon Drop Martinis. Do we have everything to make one?' I asked. John replied 'yes', and I gave him the nod. Fifteen minutes later John reported back carrying a tray with two lovely Lemon Drop Martinis. My girl friend smiled and thanked John for his effort.

'Anything else' John asked. 'No, sweetie', I resounded. 'You may go back to your work'. It was just then that the neighbors daughter walked into the yard. 'Those look good' she cooed. I  looked at John. He knew what to do. A shot time later John emerged from the kitchen with a third lemon drop martini. 'Umm,' she responded, to John's delight. The daughter is young and pretty. I knew John would love serving her.

I then told John to bring out some cheese and crackers. My neighbor replied that I was going to have my husband serving all afternoon. 'Yes, I replied' that is what men are for. We toasted and enjoyed  the cool air as John blushed. And yes, I love to watch a man blush. There is a certain tenderness to a man when he shows his softer side.

Love, Kathy

Sunday, November 20, 2016


Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday. It is a time for family and friends, but without all of the hype that seems to come with Christmas. John and I are leaving Monday morning for a visit with both of our children. We are going first to our daughter's home and then to our son's home. With work schedules and children it is both difficult and expensive for them to travel. As such  we are going to them.

Love you all for reading, and even more for the great discussion. Going back to the recent discussion John will ask what I think of the various candidates. Submissive men generally want a mistress who instructs them on which way to vote. For the truly submissive man there is nothing sweeter than being under the total of control of a mistress. This includes voting as well as religion as well as where to go on vacation and which restaurants o frequent. In some femdom homes it is not unusual for a wife to dictate which male friends her husband is allowed to associate with. The rule of thumb is to know what your guy is doing, and whom he is doing it with.

The rules applied in femdom marriages may seem draconian to many of you, but once in a femdom living arrangement they make sense. Femdom feels very different on the inside than on the out side. It is about a highly structured life with rules that are enforced by the wife. Why does it work? It works because some men naturally need female authority and guidance in most aspects so their life. If you can't understand this it is probably because you are not really submissive. My guy is submissive as are a decently sizeable percentage of the male population.

Most of the men who write to me are crying for more control from their wives. These men want female rule in their homes, and some want it in the workplace. The remarkable thing for me is the shift that I have seen over the few years of doing this blog. A few years back there were only want-a-bees commenting and emailing to me.  What a change over the last five years! Men are finding the courage to admit who they are and what they need. And, yes, some women are learing that living with submissive men is in a way very nice. It is not so much  about having a guy to cook, clean, and serve as it is about the emotional intimacy.

There is a special connection, a more spiritual connection between couple who practice femdom marriage. For what ever reason it brings out the best side of men-the sweet and caring side that many guys have but often fail to show. Love you for reading. Love you for sharing. Thanksgiving provides men with many opportunities to be a special hero to their wives. Hope to have many stories about how you made this holiday special for your wives.


Sunday, November 6, 2016

Miss Renee's Comment

Good morning to all,

Miss Renee has posted an interesting question. It is toward the end of the election comments.

As many of you know Miss Renee has a fellow who has shown submissive tendencies. Should she be more aggressive with him?

I have no idea how most submissive men would respond to a woman who takes the lead.

Please share your thoughts with us.

Love, Kathy

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Election Day In the Untied States

A little while I received an email from a young wife who is in something of a femdom relationship.

Looking ahead to the election next week she made a decision on who to vote for. A discussion with her husband indicated he favored the candidate of the other party.

In a femdom marriage should a husband vote the way his wife instructs him to vote?

Should a wife instruct her guy how to vote?

What do you think?

Love, Kathy

Sunday, October 30, 2016

Its Not A Perfect World

Fifi made the comment that it is not a perfect world. To add to that statement I will say this is not a perfect blog. However, it seems that so much of what is said is taken to the extremes. Waiting an hour or so for younger teenagers to finish talking and cleaning a room is very different than allowing them to buy drugs. Yes, John was caught in a little bit of a difficult situation which he may not have handled as well as he should have. Yet, the fact that he remembered this situation so many years later tells me that he really thought about what happened. His actions on that day, cleaning the room, was a mistake. The truth is that I have also made mistakes. We all do.

It appears that I may have made a mistake in corresponding with Fifi. I have offended him. It was not intentional, and hope that he stays with his mistress for many years. What I was trying to say was that living with a mistress in her home is different from working for her a few hours a day. While I was using fifi as an example, it was not my purpose to insult him. Still though, I wonder how he would react living in a woman's home subject to her authority twenty four hours a day. Fifi takes pride in the quality of his submission. It extends to the time he is away from his mistress, but that is not the point. The point is simply that a man who does not live with a mistress has an escape route for days when he is not feeling submissive. I hope that fifi does come back to the blog. My feeling is that he is a sweet man with real submissive needs, and I will miss him.

No where on this blog has it advocated younger people being put in charge of parents. In fact, what I have said was the opposite. As a younger man my husband has had a constant struggle against his submissive needs. For many years he fought these feelings as he thought it made him lessor of a man and a husband. Finally he made the step of seeing a professional. She helped him to accept himself for who he was. This is what I hope the blog does for many of you.

One of the things I do believe is that submissive men need exceptionally strong female control.
They need it everyday. In order to be truly happy, and to be all they can be they need a strong mistress person in their lives. My husband in spite of what some people might call shortcoming was always a very dutiful parent. If our marriage had been femdom he may have been an even better parent. A husband should be a strong first mate to his wife. This sometimes requires discipline and rules which John did not have from me.

And for fifi, you must know that I do care about you. I offended you and for that I am very sorry.
Hope to hear from you again, but if not hope that you are happy in the service to your mistress.
And if you come back or not please know that there is a person out there who does care about you.

Love to all of you on this Sunday morning.


Tuesday, October 25, 2016

The Conversaton

Everyone knows that there are times when I am completely ambiviant  to the blog. There are times when I put my heart into a posting which no one seems to care about. There are some other posting that seem to make everyone think about their relationships. It is true that I have may have more experience than some others with femdom, but by no means do I have all of the answers. Often times it is the comments that cause me to think about my own life and my own family. What I am so very proud of is all of the comments related to the last few posting. For the most part these were well written heartfelt comments related to real life situations. I want to thank all of you who took the time to think about their situation, and who found the courage to contribute.

From my prospective one of the more interesting comments came from John. It was his response to the extended comment by beta. He told me that in many ways his relationship with Becky as a high school student may have mirrored  that of beta with his daughter. He understood that Becky loved him, treasured him as a father, but did not see him as an authority figure in her life. For some time John tried to be the Father Knows Best type of man, but it didn't work for him.. Once he stopped trying to be an authority figure his relationship with Becky seemed to improve. Becky, much like Beta's daughter learned to see her father as more of a friend, a counselor, or just someone who was there to help. According to John, Becky looked to me as the authority figure in her life. This aspect of our family dynamics is something that here to now has escaped my attention.

It is always interesting when a blog comment elicits a response from a family member.  'What do you mean', I asked John. 'As Becky grew older she stopped asking me for permissions'. 'Why is that' I asked. There was a little break in the conversation before John found the right words for a response. 'Well, it was probably because I would usually tell her that she needed to ask mom'. Thinking out loud  I remarked that you drove her every where. 'Yes, but only when you gave her permission'. In other words, I said,  'you would only drive her if it was Ok with mom?'  'Is that the way she understood it,' I asked. Not exactly John responded, but close. Most of the time if you gave Becky permission to go some place where a ride was needed, it was more or less assumed  that my chauffeuring services would be available.

As most of you can imagine John's comments on this long ago issue drew me further into the conversation. 'Was she polite when asking for a ride', I inquired of John. Becky was always polite John told me. Then John made the comment that really made me think that perhaps I had been missing a great deal that went on in our home. At some point John indicated that Becky had stopped asking him for rides. I looked at him with some confusion. 'Yes, she just started telling me where and when she was going.' At that point I looked at John with even more confusion. Once again there was a little bit of a silence. It was more like she was ordering instead of asking John replied. 'Why didn't you discuss her attitude with me', I asked. His response was very simple. 'Well, I kind of liked her talking to me that way'.  'In a way you liked it when she was bossy with you' I asked. 'Yes' was the response.

The conversation with John took place  Sunday evening. It was part of our daily talk about family, work, and the little things that are important in our life. John understood that I was looking for more background information on the topic. You probably don't remember he told me, but there was a time when you wanted me to be more assertive with Becky. In the back of my mind I remember having some type of discussion with him on that topic. My feeling at the time was that he was making me the so called 'bad guy' in parenting. According to John, Becky's room needed to be cleaned and straightened out. Tired of being the bag guy I told John to talk with Becky. Make sure that she straightens out her room, I must have told him. According to John, Becky made something of a token effort at cleaning which would never pass my inspection. 'How did you handle it' I asked him.

One of the things I have learned about men is that when they open up to talk about an issue or problem you press the point. You keep them talking by asking pertinent questions. 'So how did you handle the room' situation, I asked. It was Saturday morning and you were out some where. Becky was in her room fooling around with her things. I told her that mom would not be happy if the room was not cleaned by the time she came home. 'You were more afraid of my reaction than she was', I mentioned to John. 'Yes mistress' he responded. 'I offered to help her' he told me. She said ok, but pretty much continued to do what she was doing as I ended up doing the cleaning.

At that moment in the conversation I lifted John's chin so that he had to look me in the eyes. 'Were you afraid of my response or Becky's response' I asked him. 'Mostly you', he responded, but failed to hold eye contact as he said also Becky. 'You were afraid of Becky' I asked. 'Yes, because we had such a good relationship as long as I didn't tell what to do'. 'When we were out together, when I was driving  she was inchage. She would tell me where to go, when to pick  up, and when to wait.
In the conversation last night John admitted something I have known for a long time. John has always liked it when Becky has been in charge of him. In some ways Becky took more direct charge of him then I did. I would never have told him to wait in the car while visiting with friends.

The Sunday night conversation went on for another half hour, but hopefully this part of it will make a point. I am not quite sure what the point of this story may be except that relationships can be complicated. When forced into an uncomfortable situation John decided to clean the room himself rather than harm his relationship with Becky.

Love, Kathy

Sunday, October 16, 2016

Miss Renee's Comment

Thank all of you who took the trouble to comment on the last posting. There were some very good, heart felt comments. For the moment I want you all to read the comment by Miss Renee. Her comments illustrates many of the problems of developing a sincere femdom relationship. Her boy friend, who supposedly was submissive, really wanted control. Haven't we all heard that before.
How should a wife or girlfriend handle this? Some men make it easy for a woman to become a mistress. Some other men are more difficult. Does it mean a man is not truly submissive, or does it mean that a different type of training program is necessary. Miss Renee credits this blog for normalizing the concept of femdom for her. Yet, it is clear that her father has been molding submissive behavior. She also made the point that some women can not accept service from a man?

This wonderful comment by Miss Renee brings to light so many issues. These are real issues that women deal with everyday in their relationships. I would like each of you to share your thoughts with us. This means thinking. Can you put the Sunday game down for a few minutes to think about this comment. And, while this should not need to be said, I want each of you to thank Miss Renee for sharing with us.

Love, Kathy