Thank all of you for sharing.
Earlier this afternoon I posted the comments that had been made over the last couple of weeks.
One of my favorite comments was the one that could be entitled the Pizza Story. There was enough truth in it to cause me to think about things. Over the years I have indeed thought often about femdom. Is it normal? Is it healthy for men to live in submission to their wives? We could go on asking these questions all day long, but I am not sure there are any easy answers.
In one of my earliest visits with John's mistress she told me that he was very submissive. She went on to say that he was one of the most naturally submissive men she had ever had the pleasure of working with. On the long drive home that evening I thought about her words. There was a part of those words that caused me to cry. From the conversation she told me that he had made of virtual mental pilgrimage of hiding his submissive side from the rest of the world. Why, I asked. Most of all he wanted to appear manly in my eyes she told me. Was my man some freak of nature, I wondered. No, was the response. Come visit with me, she offered. Come work with me, she again proposed. Come see men in their true state without the protective shield that society demands they wear.
The question then becomes is male submission normal or is it a disorder. By giving him the pizza am I just encouraging him to eat more, or am I giving him the food for life that his spirit needs. What I believe is that each woman needs to make this decision on her own.
Love you,
Kathy
12 comments:
What a sweet and loving posting, Mistress Kathy. With an unarguable conclusion.
Ms Kathy
I love that Your conclusion is that Each Woman has to make this choice in Her own. I love those words. In general, each household and each relationship is different because each Woman is different and will manage Her household and Her relationship in Her way, and that's how it should be. It's Her right. It's called diversity.
Alex
I read the pizza comment and thought that it was rubbish.
If you follow the analogy through then anything that anyone has an interest in, passion for or simply feels is their persona could be considered as being wrong. If somene loves baseball or football should they not be encouraged to do sports? Or if someone enjoys reading would it be wrong to buy them books?
If that happened then we would not have the great sporting stars nor the great writers that we so admire and whom have given us such pleasure and entertainment.
How about vanilla sex? If someone feels that a vanilla sex life is the right sex life for them should they be denied vanilla sex? Should we force kinky sex on them? Who is to sit in judgmenet over us all and decide what is vanilla and what is kinky?
Who is to say what is right or wrong? Who thinks that they can force their lives on to others? Just because Femdom might not be right for Bob or Carol doesn't mean that it is wrong Ted and Sue.
I believe passionately that the 7 billion of us on the planet are all individuals. For lots of people vanilla relationships are just fine. But there are countless millions who have the desire and need to either dominate or submit within their relationships.
If it works for them, makes them happy and they are not harming anyone else then just ignore all the others who deem themselves important enough to judge others. I suspect that there are millions of men across the planet desperate to submit to their wives and millions of wives who are oblivious to Femdom even existing. How sad.
No, igore the pizza comments. Live the life that makes you happy.
Nice post, true :-)
Love Tiptease
Ms Kathy,
I think the question depends on: what result will the "pizza" give You? Will it make You happier? Perhaps if Your hubby is underweight pizza is good, or perhaps You like them a little bit overweight and again pizza is good or perhaps You want a pizza Yourself and prefer to share it, so it's good.
Femdom, is it like the pizza? Well, do You like... oysters?
Cheers!
Alex
I don't know if a Femdom marriage is "normal".
Perhaps a better question would be....is it functional?
Perhaps an even better question....can a Femdom marriage function as the heart of a healthy family?
Tim
Femdom is not 'normal' It never will be,never has been.My personal opinion is that most submissive men have a feminine side in their make up,hence the desire to wear lingerie.
It seems hypocritical of people to be righteous over certain aspects of femdom. The same people often love to virtue signal about LGBTQ even though it can encompass significant depravity like drag queens reading stories to kids, or tricking kids into thinking they're transsexual or who knows what else. At least the femdom people respect the broader society by keeping their lifestyle to themselves. In contrast, the LGBTQ flaunts their lifestyle everywhere, lecturing the rest of society what to believe and think despite being a 2-3% minority.
Joel
I have been thinking about Femdom marriage and family life.
It occurred to me that being male may not necessarily make a man more competent at running a family than his wife.
If a wife is better at running a family than her husband, it may be functional/constructive for her to be in charge.
Tim
Hello Kathy:
With all due respect, the pizza analogy is the one of the most ludicrous comparisons I have ever read. Obviously the writer has zero insight into human nature, human behavior, or the breadth of variations between all of humanity.
Some of us are tall; some short; some white, some black; some thin, some heavy; some custodians, some Generals; some men, some women; some have short lives, some long; some can sing and become major stars; some are athletic and can hit a baseball 500 feet or drive a golf ball 300 yards or score 25 points in a basketball game; some are not coordinated enough to play any games let alone be athletic.
Some marry, some do not. Some are Einstein’s; some are developmentally disabled, some in between.
Some are beautiful, others not; some can play the piccolo, some not; some wish to climb mountains, and some do not; some want to explore outer space or the depth of the oceans, some do not.
Some men want to be the leader of the marriage or relationship, while some men prefer the marriage to be led by the wife.
Which of these folks are “normal?’ Of course there is no normal…at least for me. One might conclude that mathematically there is an “average”, but for what value? To me these people are not normal………. they are extraordinary. They all have special gifts….as we all do…..just some of ours are not so publicly visible.
And I might say that to use as an example a 600 pound man really smacks of a misunderstanding of a submissive man: unless Kathy, John is fully and completely defined simply by his submissive persona. If he is like me then he has many qualities in life……his career, a father, a competent husband, his public life, volunteer work, insight and support of his wife and family.
While I prefer to be submissive to my wife, I do not define myself by that submissiveness or the fact that I do like and wear panties…..it is just one small part of me. I am a son, an Eagle Scout, a Viet Nam veteran, a husband, father, grandfather, golfer, traveler, friend and mentor to many, and a successful businessman. (Perhaps the analogy would be better served by a slightly overweight man).
The fact that I love my wife so much that I wish for her to experience life on her terms; and that it gives me great pleasure to serve, obey, and love her in this manner putting her first above myself, does not make me abnormal…….in fact it makes me just another wonderful variation on the many facets of humanity. It is one lifestyle that harms no one, if the participants are agreeable and comfortable with the arrangement.
So while I agree that each Woman needs to decide for themselves, I do not believe that a submissive man is “normal”, I believe he is extraordinary!!!!
Steve
What makes you think that most of the submissive men want desire to wear lingerie? According to my observations, the minority wants this.
If you think about the norm, then the whole BDSM is not normal. But there are people who like it. And femdom is the best that is in BDSM.
Aptem,I think submissive men wearing lingerie because a) it feels sensual against the skin
b) it helps you feel inferior to women because it looks ridiculous.
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