Friday, January 18, 2019

Dancing Backwards.

This morning I was up early.  For some reason I just couldn't sleep. With nothing on the agenda it was a good time for me to review emails. There was one there from Thomas Lavelle that had been lurking in my inbox for several days. Although I have not yet read book two or three of his series, I have read a number of his writings. He is one of my favorite authors. Not so much for what he says, but for the way he makes me feel. More than many other authors Thomas seems to understand the dynamics of femdom relationships. Dancing Backwards, book three, is a work of fiction. Yet,  John tells me that the book contains what he calls a lot of truisms. Yes, he tells me that while the book exaggerates it does carry a kind of message that resonates with him.

As a very submissive man John tells me he can identify with the primary male character by the name of Chris. In the book Chris is Kelly's slave.  In much of the same way John thinks of himself as my slave, and indeed that is a reasonable description of our relationship. As I write this posting john is busying himself with laundry and house hold duties that have been assigned to him. And, he is well aware that I as his mistress will do a through inspection of his work. At the end of the day John understands that his only reward for doing a great job of cleaning will be a 'good boy', or maybe the privilege of worshiping my feet. Yet, this is all of the reward that a truly submissive man yeans for. John, like the fictional character in the book takes a very special joy in service to his mistress.

'What did you like about the book', I asked john. 'Well, he said it was a good story'. He went on to tell me that there was a real plot with twist and turns that could be made into a Hollywood movie. Just when you thought the book would be ending the script would change. He went on to say that the primary female character was over the top in a lot of ways, but in many other ways she was real. In which ways I asked. For one thing the book showed that Kelly truly loved her male slave.
She may have abused him in way that a real mistress wife would not have, but it made for fun reading he told me.  In the end  you could feel her love for Chris as well as Chris's absolute devotion to her.  This was an aspect of the book that John really liked. Yes, my baby has his softer side.

One of the questions I asked John was about Kelly. Did she remind him of any real woman he knows. In some ways I expected him to respond that Kelly reminded him of a younger version of me. Instead, he responded that Kelly reminded him of our daughter, Becky. 'Why, how, in what way' I asked with a surprise look. In the book male characters were generally expected to curtsy to the women. He related a story of a few years back to shed some light on what he was thinking. We were visiting Becky's home. We had finished dinner. John told me that he and David were in the kitchen cleaning up the dishes and such. But, they were talking as 'boys' often do when the women are not present. As he put it they were taking their time.  Becky came into the kitchen with a stern look on her face. She told us to quickly finish up as it was time to put the children to bed.  Both David and I responded with a quick curtsy and a 'yes ma'am' John told me. It was apparently one the first times Becky felt confident enough to give John an instruction, and it made the curtsy seem so natural.

How many of you have gotten into the book? Any thoughts?
Love, Kathy
.


19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ms Kathy,

I love everything you are saying. But I think there should be some sort of Femdom that is without slavery or at least there should be some sort of slavery within Femdom that is light by definition.

Grace

watson said...

I’m sorry there haven’t been other replies.

I’m about ¾ through the book. I’m reading it quite slowly only because I’m savoring it.

I agree with John about the quality of the plot and for me, the skill with which the internal thoughts of each of the characters are portrayed. It also addresses several themes that I think are interesting and important.

Foremost is one that I often worry about.

The fear that when one gives everything of themselves that ultimately the respect the dominant for the submissive gradually diminishes until there is nothing left on her side. And then he is discarded.

Kathy said...

For Watson

Thank you sweetie for the comment.

John loved thee book. In so many femdom books the characters are like cardboard cuts out without family or friends. This book is multi generational. While I don't want to spoil the plot, you get to see how different families live. From what John tells me you even get to see how they bring up children. This, he tells me leads to some very controversial chapters in the book. In what way, I asked him. While his answer was long, the short response relates to how much authority should female children be given over their fathers. And, this is an aspect of femdom that John understands more than most men.


What I have just now realized is that it is easier to talk about a non fiction book.

Like you John read the book over several days so that he could saver it. In fear of spoiling the plot I elected not to read it. Yet, between he and I it is a book we should both read so that we can talk about it. But, what will bother some people is the concept that fairly young daughters are in charge of their fathers. This is a concept that deserves special discussion. The other aspect of the book is that men are less intelligent than woman. While I do not personally believe in this as an aspect of femdom it makes for interesting reading.


What we may do is try to pick out aspect of the book to talk about. It raises some interesting questions for extended femdom families.



Love, Kathy

Thomas Lavalle said...

Mistress Kathy, Let me briefly insert myself into this discussion to offer an FYI. Those reading the first Dancing Backward book (there are three in the series) will not encounter the subplot about female-led families. That appears only in the third (and final!) installment.

richard s. said...

Because of your comments to Watson about daughters sometimes being in charge of their fathers, I now plan on reading Dancing Backward. I have previously divulged my situation to you then regretted doing so for fear of you considering me weird or perverted. My wife has my dedication, my daughter has my attention.

richard s.

Anonymous said...

Ms Kathy. I am half way through. I have mixed feelings one aways tries to superimpose ones own experiences into the material. As a slave I still will never be a Chris. But his deference to all women is real for me and even my daughter is now my superior. Kelly doesn’t represent my wife but she does represent a friend of hers who I both admire and even fear. I do worry about my wife being bored with me because I don’t act like a testosterone fueled man. I read on in hope. Thank you. Steve

tiptease said...

Ms Kathy,

I read part 1 and think the book is very well writen and a joy to read.
I dont share the FLR point of view though, I believe a relationship should all be about love and certainly so for a female led relationship. Controle and service is done out of love and I cant believe you take away your partners excistance, presence (by taken away his cloth, friends, job, outdoor life), when you love that person.

I am curious if you share my opinion about the love between Kelly and Chris and what you think of my opinion in general.


Love Tiptease

Kathy said...

for tiptease,

Thank you sweetie for the comment. From what I have seen some women are very controlling.
When they marry a man they take over his life. If might not even be a so called femdom relationship, yet they separate him from both his family and his friends. After a year or two of marriage the only friends he has are her friends. The only family is her friends.


This book is a work of fiction. The fun part for me is to pick out the truisms in the book.
One of the interesting things I have noticed from the comments is that there is a great deal of demand for real femdom information over fiction.





Love, Kathy


Kathy said...

Just to add that John loved the book. I have not yet read either book two or book three.
What John liked most is that the main characters were not singular. From what he tell me you meet their children and their family. From what I understand the book raises the issue of female children having authority over their fathers. This may be too much of a taboo for us to talk about on the blog. Some will say that it is pure fantasy. Yet, on a personal basis I know that Becky can wrap her little finger around her father. We also know that as the number of femdom households increase, more and more children will be exposed in some way to it. I am not talking about sex. I am talkin about such things as who is responsible for picking up the dinner dishes, and who has the authority to give permission to visit with a friend. The part of the book dealing with these issues was over blown according to John, but he liked reading it. Love, Kathy

Anonymous said...

Ms Kathy,

Fiction is one thing but you are right, the world is thirsty more for real information about real life Femdom.

Alex

Kathy said...

In fear of giving away the story I have not yet read either book two or book three.
What John seems to like best about the book is that you meet the families. In one case you meet the parents of one of the mistresses. The parents have been in a female led relationship for years. Like my John the father is proud of the fact that is daughter has found the courage to become a mistress to her man and head of the family. According to John this part of the book is very realistic. In the other circumstance you meet the children of the wife as well as her husband. According to John this situation is a 'little over the top' in that the daughter is too young to exercise authority over the father, but it does make for fun reading. I reminded John that as a young girl Becky could get him to do almost anything. Yes, he responded, but the idea that she could control him was never acknowledged. 'In her own way she would ask, and I would always do what she wanted, but she never had authority to direct me'. 'Yes', I told him with a laugh, but the young mistress in you life knew how to get what she wanted.


Love, Kathy


One of John's favorites scenes in the book is when Chris comes running to Kelly he instinctively falls to his knees. What women don't get about femdom, John tells me, is how natural if feels for a 'male' to kneel before his lady. And, for me this goes back to the studio. Whether she is a wife, a mistress, or just a person with whatever type of relationship, submissive men relish the opportunity to kneel before a woman. It is their most natural place in life.


A couple of weeks ago there was the sweetest email from a gentlemen whose wife rejected femdom because she did not want to be responsible for the out comes of her decision. She did not want to take responsibility, and this I understand. This fear of taking responsibility probably the primary reason most women reject femdom relationships.
If I could have given her any advice it would be to treat your guy as an equal is all decision making, but have him kneel during the discussions about family matters.





tiptease said...

Dear Ms Kathy,

Thank you for your answer and I think your spot on with the demand for real femdom stories.
For me it makes all the difference if a story is true or fiction and thats why I think a real story like yours, where Becky is dominant over her father, could be a good topic to discuss. As I know you and your family from the blog, no situation can be weird and thus could this be a great topic to learn about the femdom dynamics.
Despite your fear of it being a taboo, I would love to hear how it evolved between John and Becky and when John really considerd Becky as his Dominant.
Maybe an idea for this topic is:

At what age should a father submit to his dominant daughter.

Subquestion could be:
1. should a father submit to his daughter
2. Is being dominant a factor or should he submit anyway.
3. At what age should he submit (You must be at a min age to handle the responsibilities)

Maybe I got carried away, but I really believe that if men submit to women why wouldn't they submit to their daughters.


Love Tiptease

Anonymous said...

Ms Kathy thanks for the challenge of reading the book Fiction or not it raised quite a few questions that have been arising in our FLR. The one that has the most impact is my relationship with my grown up daughter. I have seen her take control of her partner very effectively. I also have found myself acting submissively to all women now because my wonderful Mistress wife expects it and openly promotes it. To be honest I am sure it’s my nature now. But when I read the section of the book surrounding the Belgium family I was challenged. I have been sliding into submission to my daughter without realising it and was concerned until I saw that the more the men submitted the more they were loved. That almost made me cry . Thank you S

Kathy said...

They you S. That was a very sweet comment and something to think about. The more men submit the more they are loved. Is this true? Yes, I think it is. What do all of you think?


Love Kathy


Anonymous said...

Ms Kathy,

Yes, I think men should relate submission with being loved.
That would be great for the Matriarchy.

Alex

Anonymous said...

The more men submit the more they are loved. Yes, and also I think it's correct to instill in boys this. If little boys learn to submit to their Female Authority figures from Momy and Auntie to English Teacher they will make good men when they grow up. If they learn to please women in everything they do from how they look to what they say they will be pleasant and submissive little obedient hubbies when they grow up, and believe me that translates to better apple pie, better massages and better sex. Femdom is a fact of life and it doesn't start just when you're aware of it - it starts in the womb.

Anonymous said...

HI Kathy - I agree with the statement "The more men submit the more they are loved." My husband and I have been married for more than 20 years; and we have never been so much in love since he asked if he could submit to me and I accepted him as my slave-husband. I can't explain it, but it is just so.
Diane

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Anonymous said...

Dear Kathy

I read your blog intermittently and always enjoy catching up on the events in your lifestyle. When you discussed 'Dancing Backwards' for the first time maybe a year or so ago, I purchased a copy and read it but the story couldn't have had much of an impact on me as I didn't recall much of it. However, seeing that you were once again discussing the book and that there were now parts 2 & 3, I decided to re-read part 1 and take it from there. To my amazement, part 1 really hit the mark with me on this second reading. I was hooked on the storyline and quickly purchased parts 2 & 3 to find out the conclusion to the story. To analyse why it hit home second time around I'll try to explain. The story clearly shows how a submissive man becomes totally obsessed with the Goddess/Mistress/Domme who owns him and the more She pushes Her domination, the more submissive he becomes until he enters sub-space. From my own experiences it is so, so hard to meet a Woman who shares an interest in this lifestyle and embraces it wholeheartedly. If and when you are lucky enough to find that Woman you do not want to lose Her and your dedication becomes all encompassing. To be honest, the chances of meeting a Goddess like Kelly are miniscule (rich, successful, perfect figure, extremely dominant) but that is why we read books of fiction and fantasy. I am now 60 years of age but probably from the age of 18 onwards I have been looking for just one Woman to dedicate myself to. I have discussed the topic with the Women I have dated over the years but none have felt comfortable taking the dominant role. Eventually I accepted that my submissive tendencies would have to go unfulfilled and settled down with a beautiful young Lady and have 2 wonderful children as well now. My Wife understands that I enjoy reading Femdom fiction and doesn't have any problem with that but She does not wish to take control of me and enjoys things the way they are which I fully respect and understand. The Dancing Backwards trilogy covers pretty much every aspect of Femdom and how it gradually dawns on the Goddess/Mistress how fortunate She is to have a completely dedicated submissive slave to worship Her and take all the drudgery out of Her life. I hope my comments clarify why I feel the trilogy is an excellent insight into why this type of lifestyle is so sought after by submissive males.