Sunday, November 11, 2018

Punishment..

While, thank all of your for the great comments.

Many of the best comments are those that force me to think about things. And lets face it, I don't have all  the answers. As an older woman I lived most of my life in a different age. It is the young women of today who are taking over. It is these women who ten or fifteen years from now will be running things.  From a societal  prospective these women will most likely be running their homes, their businesses, as well as their countries.

There are several really good questions for us to talk about. One of the most relevant questions came from Sara. In a world that is increasing female orientated what will be the role of men. Both my son-in law and my son work for large national companies. From both of them I hear much of the same refrain. They tell me that most of the promotions are going to the women. Yes, they say, men can be promoted, but in order to receive that promotion they must work harder and longer than the women. Wherever it is possible or convenient to promote a woman companies are doing so.

Earlier this year much of what we are talking about hit home for my son in law. With the idea of increasing sales the division of the company he works for was reorganized. A young woman was put in charge of the reformed division as his immediate supervisor. This would not have been an issue with him except for the fact that 'she' is newer with the company and appears to have less experience. 'Does it bother him', I asked Becky?

Becky's response was that he doesn't mind working for a woman, but he resents the fact that 'she' received the promotion. From what I gathered they were both contenders for the job. Becky tells me that 'she' has been with the company less times, and has less product knowledge. The feeling from Becky was along the lines that her looks may have had something to do with the promotion.
According to David 'she' was also very good at making friends with the higher ups. In Becky's opinion the promotion had more to do with political correctness than anything else. In today's world it is becoming politically correct to extend a hand to any female with some leadership potential.

Of the two of them Becky was more upset than David. Up to a point promoting woman is fine she told me. However, when a company uses a gender version of affirmative action as part of their personnel policy it affects everyone in some ways. Becky reminded me how I was able to take several years off from work when the children were young. 'Mom, you know, I can't do that' she told me. 'My salary is not extra, it is what we live on', was her quote. David does more than Daddy did, but it would be nice to spend more time with the children while they are young. She would like to be there when they get off from school, and be the one to make their afternoons snacks. And, back then you had grandma there to help you, she reminded me. Now we live in different cities and you can't be there for me in the same way grandma was there for you.

The last part of Becky's comment had a bit of a sting to it. In today's world we all live in different places. I love the children, I love to visit with them. The fact is that living in different cities makes it impossible to be the same type of grandmother as my mother was to the children. In today's world we go to where the jobs are. It is my concern that one day Becky may need to accept a job in a city even further away than Atlanta. And, yes there are times when I would like to be the traditional grandmother who would always be available when a need arises.

Going fast forward a few months David is learning to adjust. He tells Becky there is a different culture in the office. People are expected to be there on time, and are expected to get their work done.
There is less playing around. There are no longer the dirty jokes. And, the women are treated with  more respect. Likewise, the new female manager treats him with a certain respect he didn't always receive from the former boss. She listens to what he has to say, and gives him credit for his ideas. According to David she is more of a team leader, and has made David feel like he is an important member of the team. In trying to define her version of leadership he uses the word colligative a great deal.

Even though he was passed over for promotion he now understands the why of it. She may have had less product knowledge than the men, but she has a different way of working. She gets things done her way. Her way is more of a feminine way, but it gets results David says. And guess what, David tells me that even the men are happier under her leadership. If she allowed him he would love to be the guy who gets her coffee in the morning or picks up her lunch, but that is not what 'she' is about. 'She' expects results. In her office, David says, there is no room for partonomy.

At this moment I have no real answer for Sara's question. Yet, I believe a part of the answer is that the men will learn to adjust and to fit into a world that is increasing run by women. It may take a generation or so but it will happen. It is happening as we talk. The other part of the social equation is that it means new roles for women. We are all in a time of rapid change.

Love you for reading.


Kathy

















5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Things might be more complex and not nearly so rosy. Feminism was actually a dog whistle for female supremacy. In any feminist setting, be it a university, women's center, or certain corporations, the rules of conduct or tilted so heavily towards women that they are guaranteed to win. This is by design because the only way a man would ever be content in that setting is if he literally worshipped women and wanted them to win. So far so good. The problem is that instead of worshipping women per se, people have started to worship the ideology of feminism itself. This means feminism has changed and all kinds of other groups have joined a gravy train of oppression olympics and so women are only one of many groups competing for recognition. This is why as man, you might be pouring coffee and taking notes for your female supervisor and someone will come along and say, "That's not good enough, that's white feminism." In many states, if you are a white man you are public enemy number one, but if you have a powerful wife, you could at least hide behind her. That might not be good enough much longer if changes keep getting crazier and crazier.

Joel

Anonymous said...

Ms. Kathy,

Wow, your post is really charged with a lot of feelings. I don't want a world were men are treated badly, not promoted and all that stuff. I think it doesn't have to be that way EVEN if we have a Matriarchy and a Femdom society.

Yes, it's the Women of tomorrow who will be running their countries and their societies all the way down to the home. That is the Female role. However, they can and usually are nicer than that. The whole idea behind Female Domination is having a better, not a worst, world for all.

I think it's awesome that men are now free to play what used to be the Female role and that Women are free to play what used to be the male role. But I think there's something that comes with all that and it's that if a Woman is the head of Her household then She is also somewhat the protector of Her family because You can't lead and NOT protect those you lead. It goes hand in hand. I'm not talking about those things where you have said before that Your John is still Your protector. He might be tough and protective, but just the fact that he's doing the dishes and You are organizing the political Female only meet-and-greet means that in a way You are the protector in other things, things were only She who leads has the "protective" role which comes intrinsically in leading.

I think it's time for boys to be free to not have to be "men". I don't mean they can't be men, but please give a chance to what I'm saying. In the old days, before the Matriarchy that is now starting to happen, even old Women would be called "Girls" as in "She's his Girl" or "Look at that Girl", and it could be an adult Woman. With those words came a role. The role was, in many ways, to be a Girl. Maybe that's why it was so hard for "men" to allow "Women", who they talked of as "Girls" to participate fully in society.

However, once Women started participating fully they proved to mostly be Superior in everything they do, from the classroom to home, politics and mostly everything. You said it a few weeks ago, that most men are really always "boys". The tables are turned but after having experienced both sides You know that the new paradigm rings more truth. Well, the liberty of being who you REALLY are comes with being ACCEPTED for it. As a boy, you CANNOT expect the same things from a man. Boys should be allowed to be invited out by Women, boys should be wanted, desired sexually and not expected to pay all the bills all the time (I'm not saying they don't have to help, I'm saying the roles changed). Women can spank boys, tell them how to vote or to not vote at all (I think the second one is a better idea). Women can punish, but they also have to protect and love. It can't be a discriminatory environment - boys should now be free to be enjoyed, loved, appreciated and even sexually fantasized about. Maybe fashion should start reflecting that - maybe one day Women can talk about "beautiful" boys and boys about "handsome" Women.

Does that make any sense?

Alex

Anonymous said...

Kathy,

Thank you so, so much for featuring my comment!

I wanted to tell you something. I liked your recent post but I don't think we said everything about this matter.

I'm wondering how far the "role reversal" goes, if there's a role reversal at all inherent in Femdom. What is a man's place in a Woman's world? Well, that's a question no sex can answer alone, but let me put it like this: since it's a "man's place" the men will have something to say about it and since it's a "Women's world" Women will to some degree shape what those men will say - giving them their place nonetheless.

I think from the little I gather from real life as well as the blogs that there are more than one type of submissive men but most of them agree in some things. First of all, there's a gap between some males that want to take up what used to be a more Feminine role (whether in fantasy or for real) and some that don't. There's the "sissy" and the very masculine submissive male and everything in between.

For Women I see that most Women are fine with a Feminine role and some like or dislike the "sissy" - but more and more they like (him / her / Her?).

But I think the real question is - is there anything INHERENT in Femdom that makes men have to be "the second sex" as someone mentioned? I think the answer is that at least in some way, being the "submissive" sex is already both the "secondary" sex and is somewhat the role that Females used to have, so in some way there HAS to be a role reversal right there.

I think exploring how FAR that role reversal has to go and how far we WANT it to go is the real question here. I think even the Femdom inclined Women who DON'T like Feminine men must agree in liking them with SOME "old Feminine" traits like maybe "agreeable" or "seen but not heard" (I think you like that one yourself) or one of my favorite, "soft". I think that somehow means that the Dominant has to NOT adopt those traits - which in itself is a role reversal all Femdom couples like and even most of the vanilla ones of today. From there there are all sorts of levels that not all Women agree to (and in a Femdom relationship it boils down to what each Woman wants). For example, I met a couple where the man had to adopt the Wife's last name. In the blogs I've read of some who require their men to remove bodily hairs while the Wife doesn't or doesn't completely. Those are just examples of levels where not all Women will have it the same way.

Boys, in which way do you think you would like to adopt those traits that used to be Feminine? And, what traits of Dominance do You now associate with a Dominant Woman or Women in general?

Sara Keera

(BTW, "Keera" is part of my name, not my last name).

Anonymous said...

I would have our marriage no other way, my wife is in charge. Evolution, men have taken the lead and the woman has allowed this to happen, the way it was. We are seeing today that the resource that we have not used in the female. I have seen the increase interest in politics, the work force, and I have seen positive. As for this male when dating it was the first time I realized that I needed not to be in charge but to let her be. Femdom may be the term, but the right way is better. Soon after we got married I messed up with the checkbook, my wife quickly fixed it and stated that would be her job in the future. She then went a stop further and said since I was being childish when caught she would treat me as such. I was scolded, like a little boy, I stood there as she lowered my pants and underpants, and over her lap I went. The spanking was the last thing I thought would happen, when I stood up I danced around the room rubbing, my wife smiled, you look like a naughty little boy, get use to it she then said sternly. I have never gotten use to it, but I accept it. I feel strongly that the female voice should he heard and in my cause the female hand or hairbrush insuring I learn my lesson. Take this for what you wish, but our marriage is strong, our financial is strong. When I'm told a spanking is coming I do as told, no talking back, I take my punishment. My wife role in life is far more complex than a male and she does an outstanding job, even when I've been given a spanking and facing the wall I thankful to have her. Jack

Anonymous said...

White men have always been public enemy number one. They just didn't know it.