Thank all of you have been kind enough to keep this blog from being a monologue.
It may surprise many you, but the comment from Anonymous making the statement that having John eat pages from femdom magazines as mean spirited was to a large degree on point.
While I never fell out of love with John there was a lot of resentment and anger. Yes, I needed him back in my life, and yes it was important to make sure he understood that I was his new mistress. Yet, there was also this feeling that he needed to be punished. In his wildest fantasy eating pages from a magazine was never something he wanted. It took me a long time to understand the difference between being a dominatrix and a mistress who loves her man.
The episode with the hair ribbon was more about anger. John, I knew, would never had talked back to Tara or any of her girls in the manner in which he used with me. Was my reaction over blown and overly punitive? The simple answer after all of these years is a 'maybe'. A less submissive may have rebelled against a wife who ordered him to parade around all day while sporting a brightly colored ribbon for all to see and laugh at. Yet, John obeyed, and in the end I was proud of him for doing so. The experience also brought us closer together as a femdom couple. It helped to establish me as his mistress and him as the loving, obedient husband we both wanted him to become. That night in the hotel room he knelt and thanked me for punishing him. Based on the positive attitude toward the punishment he was forgiven. The good news for John was that forgiveness meant he did not have to wear the ribbon the next day.
On the days and weeks following the hair ribbon episode John displayed a more attentive more caring attitude toward me. In the studio John was taught the importance of always showing deference toward women. If a mistress was talking to another woman he was taught to stand, wait in silence until given instruction. He was taught never to interrupt women who were talking and never speak directly with another male in the presence of a woman. In the year or so since he came home from the studio John had gotten away from some of his training. I was lax in enforcing the training he received in the studio. In those twelve or so months he lost much of his fear toward me. The New York experience taught him that his wife's authority was real and that she was a person whom he should respect and to some extent fear. On the blog I have always said that a little fear of a wife or mistress is a good thing.
If was after the New York experience that I came to realize the importance of never taking the training and discipline of a submissive man for granted. If you as a wife make rules for a husband to follow make sure that he follows them. And, as I communicated to Becky, submissive men want to know that you are enforcing the rules. It requires effort and it requires a certain amount of patience.
If the rule is no interrupting mistress and he interrupts make sure there is some type of penance.
For whatever reason women are embarrassed to give their husbands corner time. Why, I don't know as it is the husband who should be embarrassed rather than the wife.
Once again hope all of you have a good Easter. As one taught femdom is not really about punishment, but for a good effective relationship some degree of punishment is a necessity. It must be real punishment such as loss of privileges, corner time or what ever rather than the fun punishment guys want to have. And, whatever one may think of the hair ribbon episode it was not a fun type punishment for John.