Tuesday, June 5, 2018

All For Love

This will be my last posting for several weeks.

This is the time of year when John and I go traveling. A part of the plan is to spend some quality time with both out children, and once again become acquainted with our grand children. Beyond that we expect to drive through many-many American states, and at least a couple of Canadian provinces. We are both looking forward to the freedom that comes with the open road. We may also do some camping in the Canadian Rockies.

Being your husband's mistress may not be something that most women aspire to, but for me it is a very satisfying experience that I have come to appreciate. Yes, there is the freedom that comes from being your own woman; from not having to answer to anyone. From time to time it is fun to remind your guy that he answers to you, not you to him. It is also a special treat to know that he appreciates being your submissive, doing as told when and how he is told. As Key mentions in his book he learns to do things Her way, and Her way intrinsically becomes his way. If you want to take a job you take it. If you want to quit the job you quit. The simple truth is that I have come to like being in control of my own destiny. Truthfully, a husband has no need to know how much money you have in the bank, or how you  decide to spend it. And, he is best taught that this is none of his business unless you want him to know, and there are times when I do.

As for John he may not always like doing what he is told, but he does like the idea of having a mistress wife who more or less directs things. This past Saturday night we booked a table at a nice restaurant.  The decision for him to dress up in a  spot coat with a tie was mine. When he started to complain about wearing the tie, I gave him the look that  reminded him of who is the boss and of who is the submissive. There was then a 'yes ma'am' accompanied by a little curtsy that told me that he received the message. And yes, I like to be with men who are well dressed. Dressing up nicely for a dinner or any type of outing is a way for a man to show respect for his lady. Even as a teenager I liked boys in suits. Once a boy picked me up for a date wearing a very nice coat and tie. In the car I gave him a  little  peck of a kiss. 'What is that for', he asked. For dressing up so nicely', I responded. Yes, even back then I liked the idea that he was dressing up for me. And yes, if anyone wants to know I select all of John's clothes.

But, to truly understand the femdom experience, and what it means to a woman you have go beyond the idea of having a man submit to your authority. You need to go beyond the idea of having a man in your service. To understand femdom from a female prospective you need to appreciate the intimacy that comes with the femdom experience. 'Tell me what you are thinking', I say to John. Yes, tell me what you are thinking about this minute', I will repeat to him. And yes, our relatisnhip is such as he will honestly and clearly tell me what he is thinking. A little while back we were out with another couple who are in a female directed relationship. A very young, pretty, and shapely girl walked
by with her date. Like most well behaved men John understood to turn his head away from her. 'Would you like to look at her', I asked. 'Yes', was his honest reply. 'Well, you may look for a moment or two, but no staring' I told him. The other lady- my friend- told her guy he couldn't look.
'You are so liberal with him', my friend remarked. All four of us shared a laugh, but I did notice that
the other gentlemen kept his head down.' Some of you may remember Liz from the early part of the blog. She was a mentor to me, and to this day remains so.

Most of you have heard the expression two hearts beating as one. In a way this is femdom. A uniquely personal relationship with another individual based on love and caring. In a sense a wife brings hippieness to a man by completing him, by making him into whole person. A mistress wife understands that in the absence of female authority a man is not complete. Like mosses in the desert some men will wonder for years looking for that perfect person who will complete his life. While they may not realize it many of these men are looking for women who have the inner strength to lead them to the promised land.  In a real sense these men are looking for the woman who has the mental strength to place a collar and leash around their neck, clamp it closed, and claim them as a the most personal of their processions.


Love, Kathy

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

After I initially commented I appear to have clicked on the -Notify me when new
comments are added- checkbox and now each time a comment
is added I recieve 4 emails with the same comment.

There has to be a way you are able to remove me from that service?

Thanks!

Key Barrett said...

Kathy, such a lovely post that encapsulates one of the greatest things about most female-led relationships: the capacity to leave behind "she and he" and truly become a "We".

Have a wonderful vacation seeing the sights and reconnecting with family!

Key

Anonymous said...

Dear Kathy - I hope you and John have a wonderful trip - especially to see your grandchildren.

As I have mentioned before, I am still rather new to the femdom lifestyle. However, like you, I have come to appreciate not only the empowerment that it provides a woman, but also the deeper intimacy it allows between the woman and her man. To be honest, I love having my house clean, buying whatever I want without hearing complaints, watching TV programs that I choose, going out with my friends whenever I wish, and all the other perks that come from my being the Head of our Home. Interestingly, I have also come to love controlling my husband's behavior -- he is not allowed to make large purchases, not allowed to go out with his friends, not allowed to watch sports on TV without my permission (I do normally grant him permission... but not always. I don't want him to think of me as a pushover.) I do want to mention also that although he now does 90% of the housework, being his Mistress still requires much of me. I must remember not to take him for granted and to find ways to keep him motivated.)


But, like you and John, my husband and I have a closeness that I think we only experienced at the beginning of our marriage - and perhaps even that was more superficial. It seems that now our relationship is almost at a spiritual level. We no longer see things as two separate people. Rather we are more one person than ever before. In the past, I think, I tried to make us one by me submitting and usually giving in to him. It never seemed to work well. It wasn't until he brought up allowing me to lead and him to follow that we truly merged into one. I couldn't be happier... and neither could he.


Wishing you and John safe and pleasant travels.
And as always, many thanks,
Diane

Anonymous said...

Beautiful. Good trip.

Anonymous said...

Mistress,
Have a great trip. Gorgeous post.

Alex

Anonymous said...

Your " not a good time for me " comment on the previous post concerned me but, i was much relieved to learn you will be off on an adventure. However, i do not see you camping; glamping perhaps. The grand kids will be happy to see you.

jj

British Kink said...

Rather than telling a male that he cannot look at attractive women it is far worse to tell him to look and to admire her looks.

Then tell him that a woman like that would not want s submissive slave like him. That perhaps you will go over to her and tell her that he is a slave who submits, curtsies and does the housework like a good traditional wife used to do.

Showing him what he can't have is much more cruel than not allowing him to look.

Anonymous said...

A femdom style marriage has made my wife and I much closer too. I rather like to see her enjoy the freedom she has to buy what she wants and enjoy the power she has. When I’ve got some explaining to do about something, it seems the relationship dynamic of submissive and leader feels natural. Now I wear a chastity device too, and that may have actually driven us back to being more intimate, or intimate like when we got married. I suggested a chastity device and don’t mind wearing it. It says on most of the time.

Anonymous said...

Kathy,

I haven't been in the blog forever because I was touring Colorado and now I am seeing you're touring the Rockies. Good for you! Have fun!

I recently read that this past Sunday was the first day Women in Saudi Arabia where ever allowed to drive. Gosh!

But that got me thinking. Would it be a good thing to have some sort of restriction on males driving in a nice Matriarchy or at least in a good Female Led Relationship?

So I thought, hey, it's probably not very feasible and also I'm not there to make males' lives mierable, just subordinate to Women (and quite happy while they're at it, after all... I'm about the love just as much as you... I'm just very strict with the Femdom aspect). And... I thought that it's not a good idea to go extreme with this.

BUT I also thought that it'd be nice to adopt this in a NON extreme way. For example, have him give up driving on Sundays or if he doesn't need to drive then have him almost never or never drive, or ... I don't know... adapt it. But restrict male driving. It plants a good seed in their head, that they are not... our equals.

Happy Summer!

Linda

Anonymous said...

Ms. Kathy,

I am going to go back to something we discussed in this blog a few months ago because it is relevant today for me since today is Mexican election day.

As you know, I am from Mexico. I can proudly say I have never participated in an election and even this election, which is one of the most historic, I didn't participate in it. I want to say loudly that I am for a society where only Females vote and that is why I didn't vote. I am proud of that, because I don't want a society ruled by males. I don't choose to be ruled by any male. Ever.

When I started with this ideology I thought I was the only one and admittedly, I've never told my family or friends. I thought it was only me, but this blog has opened my eyes! There are a lot of us who think this way!

It reminds me of how we all felt before Femdom was "a thing". Before there was an online. Am I strange? Is it wrong? Why do I want to be dominated by Females? Why is it so obvious to me that Females are the Superior Sex yet nobody else is talking about that?

Yet no, I wasn't alone and neither were the millions others, males and Women, who instinctively knew. I can tell you today I instinctively also knew I want to be in a society where Females are the politically active sex, because I trust Females and love them. It will be a better society for all of U/us.

This blog also helped me realize that it will also be a liberating act to tell all those boys growing up: no! You don't HAVE to be "that". Yes, you can be an aspiring househusband and it's alright! You can be "the second sex" and it's alright! You can be in love with the Girls and Women who lead society, play soccer (I have a thing for Alex Morgan, go Alex!) and star in Wonderwoman (go Gal!) You can be pretty, cute and submissive. It's alright! You can surround yourself with Women you trust and follow their lead!

Alex

:-)

Anonymous said...

Alex,

You are so sweet! Way to go for not voting! I hope you stayed in the kitchen a lot, there's always a lot to do in there on election day! Support the voting Females with some cake and lots of cute behavior!

Linda

Anonymous said...

Thank You Mistress Kathy,
Thank You also Ms. Linda, it would be wonderful to hear more
about your life...

*

Anonymous said...

Ms. Linda,

Blush!

Alex

Anonymous said...

Dear Mistress Linda,
Driving was one of the first things that my wife insisted that she did. Only when she wants to drink am I given the keys. As for the 'other' keys, I am not allowed access to them at all! Again, she decides when I am allowed to unlock and have pleasure. Apart from regular cleaning that's only about once a month/six weeks. The sex bit is much harder than the driving bit!
Curtesy
Sissy Jenna

Anonymous said...

Kathy,

I'm new to this.

I've been wondering. When you use the "S" word, do you mean a person that you love but are superior to or just a status that can very well mean your equal but with a different roll? Do you think of slaves as being there for you or just as conveniently being loving little creatures who play a roll that allows you to command them?

Yun-Shen

Anonymous said...

Hello Kathy,

I wanted to make an observation as someone who's had a midlife some decades ago and, it's just that I think that there's gotta be some sort of conversation about the difference between getting into Femdom when you're all new to marriage or to dating in your teens or 20s or even 30s than say when you hit your 50s or 60s and like John at that age your wife suddenly becomes your "Mistress", especially if you've already been together forever.

I don't want to use you guys as an example at all and I know I just did but that's not my point... my point is more that you probably know how to talk about this better than me because hey, you have both perspectives since your daughter is also living the lifestyle and she got into it a few decades of her lifetime before you did yourself... so I think your perspective is very unique on this.

I also want to ask you a question about the seriousness of the whole "Mistress / slave" dynamic. Like sure, it sounds sexy as hell but... come on... I feel the sexyness probably wears off the more real it is and viceversa. I hope I'm not being nasty saying that, it's just that I kind of don't like the idea of people of any sex relinquishing basic stuff in their lives like bank accounts or chastity and I don't mean any offense at all saying this... it's just that I find it like not a very healthy thing to do and I'm sure you understand that my question comes from that place and not from a judgemental or accusing kind of place at all... if anything I have a lot of respect for you guys, besides, I was raised to kind of mind my own business but at the same time always be very curious about the world... I kind of guess you understand that being from a generation where that was a prevalent way of thinking (sometimes I feel today kids run around without those values, you know what I mean?).

Well Kathy, if you'd also like to be your husband John's voice or let him answer I'm sure he also has some valuable opinions to say about this, but I've noticed he's talked about more in this blog than he talks. Perhaps that's a good thing, and I respect it. It's sure an interesting blog and John sure makes an interesting topic of conversation especially when he's coming from your point of view, as your slave but also the love of your life. Kudos to you and cheers!

At the end the love you take is equal to the love you give. I'm sure you recognize that one!


Dakota Curts