Friday, January 19, 2018

The Me Too Movement

Over the last couple of months there have been so many wonderful emails from the readers of the blog. Not being active on the blog has provided me with the time to connect with many of you on an individual basis, and it has been good experience for me. And, what I can see is that many of you are suffering. Your need for a confident lady who can take control of your life and guide you to the reality of  femdom life is real. I wish that it would be possible for me to take each and every one of you by the hand and say that it will all be fine. There are some of you who are struggling to find meaning in your lives. The type of meaning that only comes from service to a loving mistress who owns the keys to your heart. My only regret is that I can not be that mistress, but my feeling is that she is out there somewhere.

Like most other people I have been fascinated with the 'me to movement.' As a young woman, many years ago, in a male dominated field there were instances of harassment. As a young accountant in public practice you are required to visit clients. We would generally travel in teams of two or three. There would sometimes be overnight travel, and this is where the problems  generally occured.
After a long day of reviewing spread sheets and reconciling numbers there was always a need for a cocktail. We usually worked until late in the afternoon, and then headed for the hotel bar. If not for the evening drink we probably would have going crazy.

With everyone being on an expense account we generally found a nice restaurant for dinner. It was after dinner that the problems would develop. Not with all of the men, but with a couple of them. It would start with a flirtatious smile or look or even a hand discreetly placed on your leg under the table cloth. Women who have been in business with men know and understand what it is I am talking about. Most of us have experienced this type thing, and for our generation it was just part of working in a male dominated field. It was something we were taught to accept. To keep from offending the men we practiced ways of saying no with a smile. This was especially true when the gentlemen who strategically placed his hand on your leg was also responsible for writing an evaluation report of your performance. As women in business we were powerless.

In a way the so called 'me too 'movement has disrupted my thinking regarding the blog. As all of you know the blog is centered on the home and family. It is about female authority in the home, not the work place. It has always been my thinking that femdom marriage would be the next frontier. Think about it for a few moments. In the 1920s women were first allowed the right to vote. In the 1960s or 70s most minority groups gained legal protection. And finally homosexuality has become legal as well as socially acceptable.  What is left is femdom marriage and the world of men who are submissive to women. While this is legal it is not yet socially acceptable.

In a sense the speed and broad social support associated with the me too movement has brought it front and center of the national debate. No, I take  that statement back. Regarding the me too movement there is no debate. Men who have abused women or who have been accused of abusing women are punished. They are fired from their jobs. They are ridiculed and scorned by a society that only a few years back had no interest in the claims made by these women. The me too philosophy has eclipsed femdom as a social movement.  Along with the me too movement most large corporations are searching for women to replace men on their boards of directors. A major  morning talk show is now cohosted by women. On that show there are women talking with each other. There is no longer a need or a place for a male voice except as filler. It all reminds me of the lyrics of the song, 'I am woman hear me roar'. This time, however, the roar is real and it is loud.

Becky works for a fairly large national company. While they are not looking to promote less qualified women over males, they say, they are actively looking for more female leadership in most management positions. 'How do the men feel about that', I asked her. 'Most of them don't like it' she replied, but they have little choice if they want to stay with the company. She has also noticed a change in the demeanor of the men. Some of them who have a reputation for being kind of flirty have become less so, she told me. There is a growing sense among her female coworkers that the men no longer know how to act. Any thing they do, she tells me, can be interpreted in a negative way. There is a salesmen who would some times give her a hug. No more she tells me. And yes, she misses the hugs and some of the jokes that would make the work day go a little faster.

Sometime during the last week or two I read an on line article that said we are moving toward a puritanical society. Men and women are different, and it is those differences that add color and excitement to our lives. Yes, and at my age I sometimes wish a man would pinch my rear end. It would probably be the highlight of my week. Just teasing, but there is some truth in that statement.
My feeling is that we are moving toward a color blind society where there is a rule or social protocol for every situation. And, instead of being judged by the whole of what we are or the what we have accomplished, we are judged by any random headline that happen to have our picture on it. Men are afraid. In today's work culture women have the power. As they are promoted over male counterparts they will also have the authority. The men who will be successful in this new environment are those who have learned to be pleasing to the women around them.

An unintended consequence of the movement is that it is placing power in the hands of women. By way of a single comment a  secretary can just about derail the career of almost any executive. Becky, who is close to one of the human relations people in her firm tells me that management considers women as safer and more reliable than their male counterparts. Her concern is that it is becoming more difficult for men to secure better jobs, and even more difficult for them to be promoted as each and every male employee is looked on as something of a potential time bomb. 'Do you every worry about David', I asked her. 'You know mom David is the quintessential new age man that you talk about', she replied. She went on to say that he would never do or say anything that was inappropriate. 'Neither would your father' I reminded her, but in today's work environment it is women who are determining what is appropriate. The simple reality is men do not know if an action or behavior is right or wrong, offensive or not until it is judged by female standards. This, I told Becky, is leaving men in a very vulnerable place.

While I don't know everything, what I do see happening is that the changes in the work place are occurring at lighting speed. It is now common for men to work under female supervisors. Women are being promoted over men in the work place, and they are receiving comparable salaries. And, the biggest change of all is that men who are not complying with the new standards of conduct are finding them selves in the unemployment line.

For the moment I am not sure what the 'me to movement' means for society or for female led marriage. What I do suspect is that men who are accustomed to working under the supervision of women will have no problem with accepting female control in the home. And women who are accustomed to supervising men in the work place will think it normal to supervise their husbands in the same manner. Instead of femdom marriage spreading to the work place, I am beginning to see a world that is run by and controlled by women moving from the work place to the home.

Let me hear your thoughts on this topic.


Love, Kathy

29 comments:

Dan - A Disciplined Hubby said...

Hi Kathy. I suspect you are right that as more and more women take on leadership roles in the workplace, the transition to being the leader in the marriage will come naturally. Though, it also might lead to more D/s relationships with the women as the subs, since many men who gravitate to these relations are in in control at work but want to submit at home precisely because being in charge at work is stressful. As more women become the bosses at work, I wonder whether many of them will want to give up that control at home?

I do suspect that men are getting somewhat paralyzed by the "me too" movement, though some of it obviously is justified. I do think there is a relevant line between flirting or asking someone out on a date, and harassment. But, the pendulum almost always goes too far one way or the other before eventually coming back to reasonable ground.

Anonymous said...

Mistress Kathy,
As always very insightful. As a male in a position of authority I can tell you the awareness of the change is real. What if I say the wrong thing or look to long then the burden of proof is on me to prove I didn’t and how do you prove you didn’t do something? That said I would respectfully disagree that men don’t like the fact that women are being promoted over them. They don’t like that anyone is being promoted over them is probably more accurate. Most men don’t have a problem taking orders from a female as long as she is qualified. We are use to it in fact our mothers and teachers are mostly women. What we do struggle with is the desire and need to provide for our families. To me this is where women need to unite and take advantage of this opportunity. Instead of the wife talking bad about his boss being a woman she should encourage it and acknowledge it. It will Be how women respond to each other that will define how this plays out but I know my wife doesn’t think less of me for working for a woman then I will be more likely to accept it. It still comes down to ego and controlling my immaturity.

Ur Bobo

Anonymous said...

There is another side to this. #MeToo has exposed how stunningly effeminate the white man has really become. Instead of fighting against this new out of control culture where any accusation by any woman is instantly believed, "men" are rolling over in fear of losing their precious high paying corporate jobs. In prison, these types of "men" would almost certainly take their clothes off and get on their knees when propositioned by more muscular men for certain favors just to avoid violence. They would then need to "hook up" and justifiably would be seen as women by the rest of the prison population because they chose to have someone else do the fighting for them rather than fight themselves and risk getting hurt. A real man would fight back, even if the rational odds are completely against him, and even if it means certain broken bones and death. Would any woman, even a dominant one, feel safe around these weak "modern men"? Jesus Christ himself knew for years that his mission would mean a horrible death, yet he did it anyways. The disciples of Jesus Christ died horrible deaths rather than recant their beliefs. The great Russian philosopher, Alexandr Dugin, said to die sets one free. This runs completely opposite to the "modern man" who really is a self-serving traitor to their race and gender, and for this reason, these soyboys deserve eternal fire and brimstone.

Joel

Anonymous said...

Hi Ms Kathy,

I m Richard from Sydney, Australia and I completely agree with your observation.

I work in building construction field and spend most of time on site. In my 15 year of career, I noticed that it is first time now, that all our site supervisors are female which is so unusual specially for construction field which is always considered male dominated.

At our building construction site, usually their are four or five supervisor managing around 50 men doing various jobs and previously, at most, it usually just one or two female supervisor(if any). but I noticed this year, at my first construction of year, when I reported first day at site, all supervisors were female which really surprise all of us.

And frankly, I thought it just a co-incidence but than reading your this post now, I understand bigger picture. I guess, as a man, its just a new reality which we have to accept and move on.

But than again, at the end of first 2 weeks, under their supervision, we receive update email from our site manager(which is also female :) ) that we started the year great and ahead of schedule (construction wise) as she enforces in her email that all site supervisors are doing excellent job in managing affairs.

so yes indeed, a Happy new Beginning for all of us :)

Richard

Chris23 said...

"While they are not looking to promote less qualified women over males, they say, they are actively looking for more female leadership in most management positions."
Well you can't have it both ways.
This reminds me of my time teaching at university when I was told we could not fail any students (university funding depends on enrolments), AND we could not compromise on academic standards. The upshot? Standards declined of course.

Anyway let's see how 'reverse sexism' (i.e. sexism) plays out in the workplace. I suspect that institutions and societies that devalue meritocracy will put themselves at a competetive disadvantage to those that don't. Of course government institutions and monopolies are immune to competetive pressures, so these are the places where pro-female/anti-male policies will be best able to flourish.

Kathy said...

Thank all of you for the comments this morning.

This past month I read an interesting article. While it was more complicated, the jest of the article was that we make better managers because we communicate more efficiently than the men do. And yes,I can see this with John. He tends to keep things to himself while I am out there with everything that is happening. I talk with ten people a day. John talks with one or two and is satisfied with that.

AS a young CPA I was denied promotion to section head because clients expected a man in that position. A few years before going into semi retirement I was offered the opportunity to become manager of the entire firm. This time it was me who said no to the job. My time for taking on all of that responsibility had passed, but now there are so many gifted women in the firm that it will be difficult to decide which one receives the next promotion. After that it will be the females who decide on promotions. And now many of our clients are women.

And, it is my belief that most men prefer working for a woman rather than another man. In a general type of way I believe we are often better at developing a subordinates strengths and helping him to overcome his weaknesses. We tend to take more interest in people. We are not as fixated on the so called bottom line. We have more of a long term view of things than the guys. Love, Kathy

Kathy said...

And Joel, thank you for the comment that is a little different. And yes, there are those men who want to fight back against all of the changes. Yet, most men recognize that fighting back against female dominance in the work place is like tying to fight back the ocean tied. And, more than that there are many men who are welcoming the idea of female authority in their work place as well as in their home. These men are what we have been calling the 'new age males. If you stop to look they are all around you. They open doors for women, they carry their packages, and publicly show their support for women's movement. In the home they are submissive to their wives. Love, Kathy

Артём said...

Alexander Dugin is a great Russian philosopher? Oh, I understood where you got this nonsense in your naked ...

1). Dugin is an idiot. People with his thinking destroyed the Russian economy. I am Russian and live in Russia, and I know what I'm talking about. Because of these idiots in power, the average salary in Russia is $ 4.2 per hour.

2). How can a normal person go to jail? Why should a normal person go to jail? What are you carrying, damn it?

3). To feel safe enough to have Colt 1911.

Anonymous said...


Dear Ms Kathy,

i have only recently discovered your gem of a blog. i have been so concerned about You because of Your 7-week lapse in updating Your site. i am so very excited that You posted this update. Before reading through it i thought i would thank You for taking the time to write again.

humble regards

michael kramer

Anonymous said...

I have had a couple of female superiors at work. One was brilliant, but somewhat difficult.
The other was in over her head.

In my experience, the ones who have the hardest time working under women are other women. In general, my male colleagues and I were treated far better by the women we worked for than our female counterparts. It may be generational and may change as younger women get positions of authority, but the baby boomer women I have seen in the work place are far rougher on female employees.

Anonymous said...

Ms. Kathy,

Let me try to restate your post and give my comment to it.

You say we are being headed towards somewhat of a puritan society as males are being intimidated and are at dumbfounded not knowing even how to act. This hurts males AND Females alike, and you give the personal examples of Ms. Becky losing out on those hugs and jokes and you losing out on being playfully pinched in the rear, which would be the highlight of your week you say. I know part of it is a joke but let that sink in before we go on please. Because it's not all joke!

Did it sink in?

Good.

Now you also say Women's voices are being heard more and we are headed also towards a Female dominant society, and you compare fighting that to fighting the ocean's tides in a comment below.

So here is what I think about all that. I think I like the Women having more power, I like men being more the submissive sex whose voices are fillout for the morning talk show if at all (and given the choice I prefer no male voices on that talk show, but men should still be able to talk at home and voice their opinions. It would just be a nicer morning talk show). However, the thing I hate about all this and it has been bothering all my life is this "puritan society" boiling up that you talk about. Nobody I know had ever said that before and I have been searching for YEARS for someone to say it. Being from Mexico I thought it'd never be an American to say it because my image of the USA is that they have REALLY gone over the board with that. As a matter of fact, I may add that I kind of feel a bit of an outsider commenting in this post because here in Mexico the MeToo movement doesn't really exist and although I know exactly what the movement is I think I am lucky enough not to have to deal with the puritan society part of it every day by not being in the USA at the moment.

I think to me one of my greatest difficulties dealing with gender roles is the puritan society and the bad way boys and men are portrayed -- as a "bad" species that is "impure" in it's thoughts and intentions and just wants sex. Although it SOMETIMES would be an exaggeration, many times that's EXACTLY how society thinks about males today. So that kind of made me prefer being submissive. It's part of that. Because it's liberating to be the second sex but also not the one seen as taking initiatives that are unwelcome. Does that make any sense? You said many times in this blog that you don't know WHY but submissive men are just submissive. Well, here I just spelled out for you one of the big underlying factors that help men choose to develop their submissive side more. It's this intimidation that if they are initiators, they are bad and rejected by puritan women who are intimidated by their sexual advances, and of course this is all in the subtext and subconscious because there are many situations that are not that way.

(To be continued...)

Anonymous said...

(... continuation)


But I think a fabulous solution is to embrace Femdom. By that I mean not only that men can embrace a submissive side but, I think more important even, that Women embrace a dominant one. I have yet never heard of a man who complains because a woman did give him a hug or even playfully pinched his rear. And yes, those can be the highlights of his week. But I wonder why it is that you didn't even CONSIDER that!

I am not advocating sexual harassment. I think, however, that the line of what is sexual harassment should be a lot less strict, a lot more risky (because yes, I'm advocating a more RISKY stance, but I think it's WORTH it to be LESS safe and MORE not-puritan! More free! Freedom is all about being able to take RISKS!). I think a Woman should know when a boy she likes would want to be slapped in the tushy or grabbed by some other place. I trust Women's judgement and I would love to be the one who was first hugged by a Woman even if she wasn't specifically the one I wanted. Don't worry, it's happened before and I didn't sue her. The world didn't end for me. I sometimes wonder why it's so horrible for Women when a boy touches her, why she feels so powerless and so harassed that she feels she must retaliate in the media or God forbid, in court. I just don't get it and I hope I never am in a situation like that. I'm OK not getting it, I support Women but I think all the talk about "Oh, he hugged me at work!" is an over exaggeration. However, it can be remedied by Women being the sex that is allowed to be a little more aggressive. The problem momentarily is they haven't gotten the memo of that yet.

I realize my post is probably going to be super controversial because it's like the least politically correct this blog has seen in years. Maybe don't even publish it. But whether you do or you don't, I only care about your opinion and that of the people who won't jump at me anyway. Especially the Women, like always. However, I feel safe with you because you know I come from a good place, not from this sick place of sexual harassment or anything. If anything, maybe I'm so naive as to not really understand the subject and that's OK. It's still valid for me to have feelings about what I do understand, and you know I write with lots of respect to Women and from a good heart. That's why I dared do it. And because we really don't want a puritan society, and that's something I very deeply care about!

Alex

Anonymous said...

That's interesting @Anon but I cannot compare this yet to my situation as mostly labour including me are all men.

As I mentioned in my earlier post, that during this month, we are going ahead of our project schedule (work wise) and reason is simply the strictness and discipline required by these women supervisor stands out to me.

For example, in our team, we are 6 men doing all kind of various labourer task in building construction. All of us are mature men ageing between 40s-50s. On our first day at the start of this new project earlier this month, when we got introduce to our new supervisor by our project manager, all six of us, look each other smiling and sort of in cheeky way thought that this will be easy for us but now if i think back, its ironically funny how wrong we all were.

Our new supervisor, Elizabeth is in late 20's much younger than all us. But oh boy, when she orders, we all listen. Their is something striking the way she control and manages all of us and she know a lot about work as anyone can be easily mistaken (like we thought) that we can make her fool and work in our away in this project.

Sometimes in between during shifts, when she inspect our task and works, and then find our mistakes, it feels bit embarrassing to get corrected by such a younger supervisor. But then, this is the exactly reason now all of us are super attentive in our work.

So yeah, from management point of view, it surely work for them :)

Richard

larry said...

Dear Mistress Kathy,
Truly, you know I appreciate your wisdom and experience, but please allow a bit of digression. As you know, many men in supervisor positions at work do well with letting go of control to their wives at home. So, too, I can imagine women supervisors are content giving control to her spouse, depending on the nature of their relationship. In my experience, every individual is unique and has different capabilities and that is especially true for leadership roles either in business or at home.
Again, in my very limited experience, women working for women have a harder time and a more strict environment.
As Richard said above, having a younger supervisor is tough especially when they know their stuff and a female berating a male at any age in front of his peers can be devastating. While if it was a guy, you can just shake it off. However, on the other hand, if she finds his work superior and acknowledges it; I'll bet the worker shines brighter with a female compliment. So the interpersonal and sexual aspects are important, we simply can't say that one sex is better than another. I feel that leadership and the ability to supervise and manage is an individual trait/talent that is finally being recognized as such and is not sex based.
When we speak about personal relationships at home, I agree that most women are more adept at being the heart and soul of the home; ruling with love and for the mutual benefit of all.

Kathy said...

Thank all of you for sharing.

At the beginning of my career I was the only female degreed accountant in the office. We had many female employees, but they were clerical. And yes, they had a way of making my life very difficult.

Each of you may have your own opinions, but it male centered businesses the women see them selves competing against one another for the attention of the male managers. It is the men who control promotions, pay raises, and a whole host of benefits. This is especially a problem if one of the women is young and attractive. Talk about jealousy.

In a female centered work group where women decide on promotions, pay raises, and such; my experience is that there is a relatively high of
harmony. Love, Kathy

Anonymous said...

I kind agree with Ms Kathy on this .. as what I saw so far with all these female supervisors that they surely works in unity and cover up for each other (work wise) quite well.

for example, when our supervisor had a day off last week, one of other female supervisor were assigned to monitor our work as well and the thing we notice straight away that not only she were aware of our names but also knows our common mistakes which our supervisor pointed out to us earlier. Funny thing is, when I repeated one of my mistake, this new temp supervisor straight away cal me out and said I am doing this again and my reaction was "how she you know that?" .. she solved this mystery to me by saying out loud, "why you think we supervisor keep notepad with us all the time .. we know everything" she said with confident smile. I sheepishly replied back "Sorry, I will make sure not to repeat it" to which she responded "you better not!" wow so much authority .. never experience in my life.

Richard

Anonymous said...

It is tempting to speculate that #MeToo represents a tipping point where the various women's movements actually become driven by women for women. Up until now, the women's movements, have actually been bankrolled by wealthy oligarch men who control the corporations and have their own list of demands, especially open borders, that often overshadow the women's demands. But it has not gone unnoticed that many of the targets of #MeToo have actually been these very same oligarch men. Also, there is now open regret among the #MeToo circle for supporting Bill Clinton in the nineties. These could be signs that the women actually are realizing that they do not need these types of gender traitor men anymore and so they are throwing them under the bus to truly grab the power for themselves. Once the women have what they want, they can kick the other interest groups they collaborated with to the curb and implement purely their own agenda. Where it will all lead and what they will do with the men they conquered, who knows?

Joel

Gigi said...

Ms. Kathy,

I'd like to ask a question on your blog that I think you can really talk about from a better perspective than others. I asked the same question to a Lady in the Femdom Thinktank blog.

Many Women approaching the lifestyle feel disconnection and guilt. I think you can relate to that. However, once they move on into the lifestyle they actually feel the opposite of those feelings, and that's very notorious in your case and that of your daughter too (although I wouldn't necessarily say she also felt that disconnection and guilt). Is there anything you'd like to tell these Women?

Kathy said...

For Gigi, that is a very good question. When entering upon the lifestyle women feel like they are taking advantage of a man they care about, and this is the reason for the guilt. And yes, when you punish a man or have him spend his weekend cleaning house it does create feelings of guilt. What you need to focus on is that what you are doing this for his benefit, and for the good of your relationship. In a way all the talk about a man being a slave is phony because the reality is that this is something he wants and needs. In the end femdom is about love and caring. It is about developing a man's submissive side in a way that enables him to be the person he wants to be.

Love, Kathy

Tomy Nash said...

This line of conversation on your Blog has been very interesting to read. It addresses things I was wondering about - how men; especially DWC-oriented men -feel about MeToo.

Personally, I see things too simply I suppose. For me the world, and this country, cannot afford to squander any resources. We can't make it in the long run without the full, uncensored,contribution of half world's the population. And it's not just the numbers. The feminine influence is absolutely indispensable to our survival.

Anonymous said...

In my opinion, i feel that women in the US were caught off guard by all of this newly acquired power. Because, it is not the women who made this difference. It is actually the mainstream media and whoever is running it, are the ones to thank for this push for a change. And until we know what is their long term agenda, it is too early to celebrate.

Gigi said...

Hi,

Thanks for that answer! I really like it.

But... why do they want to be submissive? And... is it only about them? Do you get anything out of it that you don't feel guilty about but could actually have felt guilty about in the beginning?

Wishful4 said...

Mistress Kathy, A very good post, one of your best. I enjoyed all the comments as well. I am hoping that the next step will be highly qualified women in the highest elected offices of our government in the USA. We will be a better country for it. Yes, there will be men that fight this movement, but the smart ones will applaud it knowing it is for the best.

Anonymous said...

I think it'd be wonderful if "the surrendered husband" you've talked about was more accepted. He changes diapers, he does housechores and when Mistress makes a dinner he takes care of it all but Mistress gets the compliments. I think the other side of the same coin is the "head of household Wife", she works as an executive at a company, manages the household finances, has a bank account (you once said men don't need bank accounts, which I find incredibly sexy although I hope you allow for some flexibility around that), and talks in the morning show.

That's exactly the type of Femdom I like. I think it's all about "accepting who you are". As long as I am safe, loved and don't feel any threat I think I'd like to serve a Woman like that. I love how your blog has over the past few months really constructed the picture of a role-reversal Femdom marriage. It's so what I'm into!

Alex

James said...

Mistress Kathy,

I've been thinking about this post for some time and a number of recent events have prompted me to reply to you now. I hope that I am not too late to add my voice to the discussion.

To begin with, and I trust that you understand that I mean no disrespect in doing so, I must disagree with your contention that "women are being promoted over men in the work place, and they are receiving comparable salaries."

This may be true in a comparative handful of instances but recent events, certainly here in the UK, have shown that we have such a long way to go before we even begin to reach a state of parity, much less have cause to raise an eyebrow about females receiving preferential pay grades or frequent promotions over the heads of their male colleagues.

The difference is still shocking; on the equal pay for the same work sliding scale, a man could stop work before the end of November on average in this country, secure in the knowledge that he would be paid the same as a woman working for the entire year in an identical capacity. How many women are there in positions of real authority at board level, in the corridors of political power or within organisations representing sports or the arts? Laughably few, I regret to say.

The 'Me Too' movement is belatedly shining a spotlight on some of the murkier practices employed by men to ensure that the unfairness of the traditional patriarchal pyramid should continue. Three cheers for that but I don't see the evidence that it will inevitably lead to a level playing field in the work place. Direct action, in the form of quotas, may well be necessary to guarantee fairness; meanwhile, it will be up to women who so wish to take the lead in creating the environment in which other females can flourish.

To me, it must follow that since society has, until the 1960s, tended to relegate the role of women to the home and the periphery of other worlds, women need to begin by taking charge of their domestic lives. The confidence that this engenders is something that can then be used to boost their positions at work, which in turn can feed back into the way in which they run their men and their households.

So it was with my wife. Since the day that she accepted my submission, her career gathered enormous impetus to the point where she now heads a major part of an international organisation. Numerous men report to her, obey her instructions and completely respect her authority over them. As she has risen at work, so my wife has been further emboldened to increase her levels of control and supervision over me. By her decision, I became a house husband, relinquished control over our finances and learned to ask her permission for everyday matters just as much as the more momentous ones.

If FLRs are to flourish more widely, they have to begin in the home, I believe, rather than the other way around. A successful career adds jam to a loaf that has already been baked. By learning to supervise us, women already have a deep understanding of what is likely to be required at work.

As always, your blog is a great inspiration.

With deepest respect,

Kathy said...

James, thank you so much for such a well written thought out comment. It is something for all of us to think about. Yes, of course, you are correct in that women have been underpaid and underappreciated. What I do see is a shift in momentum. Things are changing. Things are changing faster in the work place then they are in the home and family. And, I do agree that learning to supervise a man in the home is good practice for the work environment. There should be more said about this topic, but the me too movement has caught me by such surprise that I feel inadequate to lead the discussion.

And James, how do you feel about being a house husband. Are you happy, are your satisfied in that role? Do you ever find your self missing the traditional male roll of provider and head of house? And, do you ever feel resentful of having to ask permission for everyday matters?

For quite a long time I had some of these issues with John. While he was never really a house husband he has for a long time been required to ask permission to go and come, leave the house, or to spend money. There have been times when he wanted to rebel. This is normal for a man. This type of home discipline is what many men need, what they want; but still causes resentment from time to time. It also creates special challenges in femdom relationships. If the answer is yes to any of these questions how does your wife handle these situations.

We have a number of female readers who are new in femdom relationships, and they are looking for help.

Love, Kathy

PETE O said...

Hopefully, it's a TWO-WAY street. Women who learn to lead at home and bring those newly developed skills to the workplace. And Women who learn to lead at work and bring those newly developed skills home with them. We need to develop more Female leaders in both directions. Women who have learned to express a sense of authority freely and openly, both at home and at work. It is far to violent a world. Men need to be under the authority of Women, FOR THEIR OWN GOOD. We need to change society, one Marriage at a time. I'm going to change Margaret Meads Quote a little - "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed WOMEN can change the World. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has"

Anonymous said...

Hi Kathy, I'm a submissive husband, I told this phrase to my mistress. I submitted myself to a queen and become a king of her reign.

Unknown said...

There is nothing wrong with admitting you are a submissive husband. I have begun telling others I meet that my wife is my mistress. I have yet to see an adverse reaction and in most cases, I am praised by female cashiers and my wife is smiled at if she is with me. I am proud of it and have even told some in my circle of friends.