Friday, May 5, 2017

Morning Thoughts..

Good morning to all of you. And, most of all a big thank you to those of you who were kind enough to share. Once again we have been favored with a well thought out comment from Mistress Sandra.
As much as I love her commenting on Femdom 101 she should have her own blog. She has a lot of good things to say. It is my hope that both Mistress Sandra and Mistress Diane come by often to say hello. Please thank them both for their contributions.

One of the points that Mistress Sandra makes is that within the femdom community there is a wide variety of relationships. Some forms of femdom are so mild that they resemble vanilla relationships.
Our neighbor Carol comes by once or twice a week for coffee. She sees and hears me giving simple instruction to John such as make another pot of coffee, or do this and that. It is easy for her to see that John takes orders from me, but she has no idea that we practice things like Command Position, or that he has so little freedom of choice in his life. She would be astounded to know that he lives as my sweet little slave boy.

As all of you know my baptism into dominance and submission was in the studio. What attracted me to femdom was the sweetness of the clients. In the studio men felt free to lower their guard showing their true self. We had doctors, lawyers, and all soughs of professional men who came to us. Most of them wanted nothing more than a safe environment where they could be free to be the person they wanted to be. A part of what we did was ask them questions. Would you like to live as a woman's slave was a typical question. Would you like to  live as your wife's slave was a follow up question.To my surprise the answers were often positive and well though out. You could tell that the gentlemen had been thinking about the question long before it was asked.

Some of the men who came to us were afraid to embrace the submissive side of their personality.
On the outside they were sometimes aggressive toward women. It was kind of  a defense mechanism Tara told me. She also felt like the woman who could break through that outer defense mechanism could have a loyal husband for ever. Her own husband was something like this. He came to her as a client. He has emotional issues she told me. On the outside he acted like an alpha male. On the inside there was a sweet obedient man trying to come out. He spent so much time with Tara that there was no way he could afford to pay her. She fell for him and he became her live in submissive. In her words she tamed him.

"For men there is something appealing about the idea of being tamed by a confident women."

The last sentence was put in quotation marks for a reason. It is a good discussion point. Have any of you ever been tamed? Have any of you wished to be tamed by a woman?

Giving up freedom of choice is a big step for a man to take, yet some men are willing to do it.

 These are questions to ask your self. If you have the courage to share please do.

Love you all,



James said...

Mistress Kathy

A very wise woman once said that in submitting without reservation to the authority of the woman in his life, a man gives up control forever but gains freedom instead.

By that, I think she meant that we who obey our women in order to exalt them have been liberated to follow the dictates of our heart and soul, rather than what society prescribes for us.

I was never truly aware that I wanted to be tamed, trained and even lovingly enslaved by a woman until I met my wife. Similarly, she never quite understood the extent of her desire to control all aspects of her relationship until we had known each other for a number of years.

Many happy years together bred the conditions of absolute respect and trust that are essential for a truly happy female-led relationship. Once we acknowledged our places in the marriage, it has become a natural progression to explore the limits of my wife's loving authority and my desire to obey and grow through its application.

It is hard to understand for some people but not only do I have no rights, only privileges granted occasionally and sparingly by Mistress, but I am also more content than I have ever been as a result. I know that Mistress will do whatever is right for us both; her abilities are such that although she will frequently solicit my advice, she will always come to her own decision and it will always be the right one.

Yes, I have been tamed. I am owned by the best and sweetest of women. The great beauty of my situation is that the taming process, and the learning process that goes with it, never ends.

With all respect,


Kathy said...

James, that was a very sweet posting. It shouts to the world that femdom is really about love and caring not whips and chains.

In the studio women often addressed men as worms, maggots, or with other derogatory terms such as stupid male. They would then have the men describe themselves with many of these same words, and laugh at them while they spoke. Once John described him self to me as a weak, stupid male. I grabbed him by hair looked him in his eyes and told him never ever talk about him self in that way again. My man, I told him is brave, courageous, and smart.

It took John some time to understand the differences between talking to a mistress in the studio and a real mistress who truly valued him as a person. The lyrics of my favorite song: "Are you strong enough to be my man".

Love, Kathy

Dan - A Disciplined Hubby said...

Hi Kathy,

"For men there is something appealing about the idea of being tamed by a confident women." I've never really thought of what my wife is doing as "taming" me, but it's a pretty good way to describe it. I might be kindly described as "spirited." There are a lot worse words people who know me would probably use, and some of them would be accurate. Spirit, drive, energy . . . they are all great things. When appropriately directed. When undirected and undisciplined, they can be disastrous. The sporting world, for example, is littered with athletes who have amazing talent but never live up to their potential, because they are too undisciplined. They have tons of energy and talent, but it goes off in every direction, or gets frittered away on pointless or destructive pursuits.

That's the way I see what my wife is doing for me, via what she does *to* me. We have agreed that I have to follow the rules she sets, and a lot of the time I really dislike that. If I choose not to obey, there are consequences.

In that way, I'm not like the men you encountered at the studio, at least as you describe them. I don't like obeying. I don't like giving up things I want to do, even when they are destructive. And, I absolutely hate subordinating my own will to someone else. But, that's what discipline and training for performance are all about, right? You give up some freedom and "fun" in order to go on to higher performance and greater accomplishment. So, I do see my wife as "taming" me, though directing and disciplining are also good descriptors.

Wishful4 said...

Ms Kathy, I have to say I am now a tamed man. Sometimes, though, I forget and fall back into my previous command role I had during my working years. I don't mean it to happen, it just happens sometimes. Such an event happened today. We have a travel trailer and I was backing it into a storage spot with my spouse directing from the outside as she usually does. I was getting frustrated a myself for not getting it in the correct position and I snapped at her on the iPhone. She quickly replied with, "remember who you are talking to. I will tear your a$$ up." I promptly apologized and felt so bad for my loss of demeanor. I will try and ask for forgiveness later this evening. When I was working I was in a definite command role. Although I was a submissive man, it seemed that I could never "let go" and be myself because I would have to revert back to the command role the next work cycle. Now that I am retired, my spouse is dealing with my desire for full-time submission and she is steadily growing as a dominant, but I so wish we could have done this at a younger age. However, you just have to be thankful for what you have, when you have it, and try to serve as best you can. I thought my spouse has the more difficult task of living 24/7 with a different man that she has lived with all her life. We are so fortunate to have women such as you and Ms Sandra who are willing to discuss things from the mistress wife point of view.


Very Educative. Thank you. Will love to listen more

Anonymous said...

Thank you Mistress Sandra for your helpfulness and wisdom. And, thank you Mistress Kathy for being the wonderful woman you are.

richard s said...

Mistress, I am relieved to see you posting entries more often. There are many that follow your blog and wait to hear more of your experiences and thoughts. That you ask for our thoughts and ideas makes your blog all the more interesting.

As you mentioned I also would like to thank the two Mistresses, Sandra and Diane for sharing their views. I have not seen anything recently from Ms. Renee nor the events of your daughter and son-in-law.

You mentioned your neighbor Carol and her quietly (?) observing the behavior of John to your requests etc. If I may, has she ever inquired into your relationship? Would you ever tell her that you lead and practice a FLR? There is such a stigma about it and it remains a secret in the news and media. Are there other couples that you know, visit or see socially that have a marriage that you either share happenings or maybe even mentor?

I hope these questions are not too personal and respect your option to answer or not. In our case, we know one other couple locally that are as we. The male and I work together and our wives are close friends.

thank you,

richard s.

Jack said...

Hello Kathy,

I'm not a frequent visitor. Not time for everything. There is so much chaff on the web. It's nice to find a grain wheat. Real folks talking about their complicated lives. It helps me to feel less alone.

Have I ever been tamed? I suppose yes in different forms over the years.

My wife, and all the women in her family are, and have been, fairly demanding. Her mother gave me advice prior to our wedding: 'Jack, so long as Judy always has her way you'll get along just fine.' One of her sisters knows that I'll do pretty much as she says, and she loves to boss. She's a regular guest at our vacation home. One visit she pointed out a deficiency in some of my exterior painting. I hadn't gotten to the task by the next time she came. She pointed it out again and said: 'I thought I told you to fix that.'

Among recent posts that struck a chord with me, this bit was perfect:

"After a few more minutes I again reminded him that giving up freedom was his decision, and that as long as we were married he would remain my little slave boy. He might be seventy or eighty years old I told him, but he would always be my little slave boy. And, although this might seem foolish John sometimes needs to hear that from me. Men in general some times need firm talk from their wives and mistresses. It assures them of their place in the relationship."

I'd be thrilled to the marrow if I could hear this without asking. I, too, wear lace from time to time, though lately I've been preferring boxers. I'm occasionally permitted to have my toenails done to match hers. Rare, and I have to ask. She's not particularly interested in telling me I'm hers, or shopping for pretties with me. I understand. It's not her thing.

Thank you all for sharing.