Tuesday, February 11, 2020


This far into the new year it is time to close out the Christmas series. It is my hope that all of you found it enjoyable, interesting, and most of all  helpful in your relationships. Above all else Femdom 101 is a relationship blog.  On occasion this is something that some of the readers fail to recognize. As one of my favorite authors has written words have meaning. Use of the right words can bring us together just as the wrong words serve to separate us. When talking with your spouse or partner think carefully before saying things. Just as a big steak needs to be carefully chewed and digested words deserve the same type of respect. The wrong words can be most damaging to a relationship. This is not an advice blog, but if it were the advice from Mistress would be to carefully select your words and chew on them a bit before letting them come our. Also, for the men my advice is to learn to listen.  As your mistress speaks think about what she is  really trying to tell you.

One of the things that I treasure most with Becky is our long conversations. After one of these conversations Becky paid me a compliment that sent my ego into high gear. 'Mom', she said, 'you are a mother, a sister and a friend all rolled up into one person. I was delighted. The compliment made me feel good. If not for our close relationship it is doubtful that she would ever have become a mistress to her husband. I would like to think she learned some things from me, but the truth is she has taught me much. And, as a younger wife and mother she is more open to fresh ideas.

It was not too long ago that Becky made a comment about her husband. 'He is a good man she told me, but he is still a man; and as such needs a certain amount of supervision'. 'Yes, I responded, as I have much of the same belief. As most of you have surmised John has not been punished in quite a long time. By enlarge our relationship works on a day to day basis, and John has become the most loving, obedient submissive husband  any woman could hope to have in her life. Yet, as Becky said to me, he is still a man and as a man requires a certain degree of supervision. My advice to the women is no matter how comfortable you are in a relationship always remember a man is still a man and a certain amount of supervision is necessary.

It had been quite some time since I last checked on John's computer history. For whatever reason I decided to take a surprise look in the days after Christmas. It was after John delivered my morning coffee that I instructed him to bring me his computer. By the surprised look on his face I could tell something was wrong.  Yes, as you may have guessed his history file showed sites that were not on his approved list. Yes, I was angry.  I was angry with him, but also mad at myself for forgetting one of the basis tenants of married life.  As Becky says to me he may be a wonderful man, but he is still a man, and as such supervision is required.

For the last several weeks we have been working through the computer issue. John broke my trust.  He disappointed me. Yet, he is still the man whom I love. As his mistress it is my duty to handle the situation as best I can.

Love you all for reading. Love you for even more for sharing.



Anonymous said...

Okay we men have a tendency to use the goggle to explore certain areas, are we hurting anyone, really. Also we men admit we do not understand how a woman's feels about such things, only that they are not happy about it, focus should be on them.
I lived with a wonderful woman, a little older, but I needed a place to stay, she needed a renter, and soon we become more than just tenant and renter. I explored on the computer, was caught once by her, told that I was looking a naughty stuff and that she said the next time caught I would regret. It all went well for a month or so and when I came home from work, my recent activities were printed out on the coffee table along with a very large hairbrush. I froze when I saw this, she was sitting in a chair, middle of the room with a stern look. So is this what you want, a spanking, picking up an enlarge picture of an older woman spanking a younger man. I said nothing. Over my lap NOW and I slowly did as told. She spanked me with her hand, over my jeans and I felt foolish, but found myself getting an erection. She felt it I knew she did,because she stopped, stood me up and told me to lower my pants and when I did my bulge in my underpants caught her attention. She looked at it, stood up, told me to undress, hands at side and I did as told, naked, saying nothing, don't you dare move, and she left the room. She sat on the chair, told me to sit on her lap, and she soon lotion my erection with baby oil. She stroked my penis and said my researched pointed out that once the erection is gone the spanking hurts more. I was getting hard and she stroked faster and gripped harder and soon I cummed. Now that we have that little problem address, the spanking will surly get your attention. Back over her lap and this time the hairbrush was applied and I was soon kicking, squirming, pleading, and she continued warming and stinging my bare bottom. I layed limp over her lap, crying, unable to move. A knock on the door and she said come in. The lady next door walked in, oh I see your busy and was ready to leave. No stay, done. The lady said finally, what prompeted this, was shown the pictures. Stand up I was told and I did, hands at side, and I stood all on display. You get to the wall young man, and no rubbing, talking, I did as told. She made some coffee and told the lady what had occured, everything. Turn around and I turned around and showed my limp penis. These males think with their penis she told the lady, so I addressed the little problem with baby oil. Back to facing the wall when the lady left I had to stand before the land lady. Not your first spanking, understand, will do as told, Yes I said. Your spankings will be in your birthday suit and either I or you will address your erection, Yes I said. As I said in the beginning we males do not know females, but I learned that crossing them, they have ways to address it and in my case it is a sound spanking which is preceded by her mostly relieving me of my erection. A fact is over a woman's lap at my age I feel like a little boy who has been very naughty and a woman's hands and hairbrush is insuring I learn my lesson.

Anonymous said...

What are ways to control man computer usage?

Anonymous said...

Welcome back from your posting hiatus, Kathy! It’s always good to see something new from you.

I wasn’t aware that you had restricted John’s internet access to certain sites, but know that many of us crave and resist restrictions that our mistresses impose on us. We’re not looking to get punished, but we do cross lines that are drawn for us. I don’t believe this is because we’re looking to get punished, but because we feel that our mistress has lost interest in controlling us. And for subs, control is often the way our mistress says “I love you.” (And we know as Valentines Day approaches how important it is to express our love.).

A crisis is a terrible thing to waste, and I wonder if John’s accessing forbidden web sites doesn’t provide an opportunity to reassert your control over him. I would love (and hate) for my wife to monitor my computer usage, or track my whereabouts from my phone. I would love (and hate) to have her lock a chastity device on me (with 24/7 comfort), frustrating my ability to do anything with what’s shown on those websites. I would even love (and hate) an hour of corner time every night for a week to help me appreciate what is expected of me. But you know what works for you and John.

An inexperienced mistress wife might balk at these responses, and believe she’d be rewarding bad behavior by giving her sub husband what he wants. There may be some truth to that, but when the dom/sub dynamic works, it’s really about the intimacy that results from correcting unwanted behavior. But you have been down this path already, Kathy, and know far better than us how strong a marriage can become when a mistress wife is willing to control her husband.


tiptease said...

Dear Kathy,

I agree, men will Always be men, but for knowing you by the blog I find John's issue strange. I am very curious about how you handle(d) this issue / situation.

I hope you don't mind me asking,

Love Tiptease

Anonymous said...

Mistress Kathy
Thank you for posting. It is wonderful to see you again.

i am sorry John’s computer escapades “disappointed” you. As you say, Mistress Becky appears to have a more pragmatic outlook on male foibles. Recognizing men are not angels, She seems to favors supervision and has little hope of reform.

Sex is constantly on the male mind and left to our own devices, our minds and sometimes our bodies wander. There is nothing which gives me more pleasure than serving my Mistress; bringing morning coffee, kissing her feet, cleaning the dishes, etc.. The thought of disappointing her pains me. As i grow older, however, i struggle to keep sex alive. Erections are hard to come by. A glance at a pretty young woman, fantasizing of being naked among several ladies, wearing a silky nightgown, even viewing a porno movie, serve as stimulants in this struggle. The Mistress/wife enjoys the service aspects of my submissiveness but, does not approve of what she calls “kink”. i have been punished for letting my fantasies overtake my common sense but, i do not believe She was “disappointed” in my behavior.

my Mistress/Wife loves your post and believes you to be the voice of reason in the FLM world. However, when it comes to male behavior, she favors Mistress Becky viewpoint; men need supervision”, it is their nature.


Anonymous said...

Us men sometimes become complacent about the rules our wives have set up for us to follow. I got into big trouble not that long ago by my wife for snooping in our financial records. Then I made a joke about the financial transactions implying shady activity on her part and she became far more angry about the joke than the original snooping. Women are funny like that sometimes, they get really upset about strange things, but it’s why they say that women are from Venus and men are from Mars. Having to accommodate the special idiosyncrasies of womanhood is actually one of the great joys of being the submissive in a femdom relationship.


Anonymous said...

Dear Miss Kathy
Thanks for your interesting posting.
My wife also dislikes if I go to special Websites. I am also willing to follow her wish for several months without exception. But she never asks if I still do NOT, and she never controlls. After a long time it comes up in me to have a little look what is around on some pages.

I wonder why she doesn‘t ask or control me. Her interest would help me to follow her will. What can be the reason?
I suggest that the interest oh men and me in porno ashames her. Maybe it is a general feeling against porno. Some months ago she explained me also that it is very poor, when a man needs porno or is often masturbating. I suggest she doesn‘t want to take control because she fears what she would see.

Maybe it is A Little bit the same when men see women looking romantic films or buying things they do not really need.
I think it needs a lot of courage to see men as they are and to take some responsibility to help them to handle these weak parts of personality better.
Respect for Becky and you!
Greetings Peter

Anonymous said...

Dear Miss Kathy,

Regarding weather men visit prohibited websites in order to get punished, it is very easy to remove sites from a browser's history. Therefore unless a man is very unskilled in computers, he would know that they would be found. It would take specialized tracking software to always uncover his browsing.

I hope this provide some perspective.

Anonymous said...

Ms Kathy,

You're right, it's time to close the Christmas series by now but hey, it's time to open the Valentines series? Pretty please with a cherry on top?
After all, you always say this is a blog about love and real life relationships. What better holiday to talk about that?


Anonymous said...

What about having a goal of openly bragging or expressing pride to another person how your wife is able to accomplish something you yourself are not able to do? While it's not exactly the same as openly, point blank, confessing your femdom arrangement, it sure would seem to move the overton window significantly.


Anonymous said...

As someone has already stated, it is easy to get rid of browsing history so as not to have personal kinds of internet browsing discovered. Additionally, most commonly used browsers have an "incognito" or "private" mode in which history is not stored or saved.
Therefore, it is possible that someone who does not cover his internet browsing tracks is indeed hoping to be found out for some reason.
I don't know any of the people involved so I wouldn't try to assign motivations or understand the actions of anyone I don't know.
I am saying that it is a possibility that any person who does not take precautions about private or personal kinds of browsing on the net might indeed be wanting to, or expecting to, be discovered.