A Side Note..

Yes, of course, one of the comments was that the student becomes the teacher. And, it should be added that nothing creates more pride in the heart of a teacher than having a student who surpasses her in most every way. What Becky has confirmed to me is that femdom is about love, about family, and about commitment.

One of the other commenters seemed to suggest that boys have a way of growing older without really growing into maturity. There have been times when I have agreed with this statement. Friends will sometimes tell me that their husbands do nothing all day except watch what ever stupid game may be on the television. Yes, I think these so called men are really in an advanced state of adolescence.

In most situations I am not ready to mentally condemn men into some type of perpetual adolescence.
Men do develop, they do mature, but the process is slower than it is with women. At eighteen years of age Becky was more mature than most men in their twenties. She was serious about her career and her studies. She definitely was several years more advanced than her older brother. When the children were younger, and it was necessary to put one of them in charge, it was always my inclination to make it Becky. John has always felt that putting Becky in charge would cause conflict with an older bother, and he usually won out. Still though, on those adult nights out I would have felt more comfortable knowing that Becky was responsible for the house and in charge of her brother.

Over time men do mature in ways that are different than women. Their interest are different. They are often more protective. Even as my slave, my submissive or whatever term is hung on John, I still think of him as my protector. More than anything else I have been criticized for saying that most women, including myself, feel better about life with a male protector. It is not only about physical safety. We need a guy to talk with, to love, and in ways to keep us grounded. I have often used the expression to keep us safe from the storm.

A reader might ask how does this need for a protector blend in with femdom.  The question might be asked why does a dominant woman need a male protector. In a conversation Becky once told me that she had learned to like being a mistress to her husband. Wanting a better understanding of what was on her mind, I asked Becky to tell me more. 'Mom', she said, 'since we started this femdom thing David has made me the center of his life'. 'Yes, he still thinks of work and stuff like that, but nothing is as important to him than me.' She went on to say that it was a very special feeling to having another person so completely devoted to her.

Many of the feeling she expressed to me were kind of the same as I had with John. Not when he first came home, but weeks and moths later as our relationship developed. It may sound crass to say it in this way, but as his training took hold and he understood more about being my submissive our relationship improved. To say this another way John learned more about what it took to please me, and he concentrated on doing a good job of it. He learned that pleasing a mistress means not only washing, ironing, and cleaning for her, it means serving her in whatever capacity she needs. And sometimes we just need a man to hold our hand and say he loves us.

Putting all of this in prospective men are different from women. The submissive man needs female control. He needs to know that she is holding his leash and is willing to pull it tight when the need arises. This past winter Becky and her family adopted a puppy. It was a sweet puppy, but it needed discipline and training. Becky repeated to me what the instructor told her about control. Throughout the walk, she said, make sure that the puppy understands you are boss. If the puppy jerks you or wants to chase after a cat don't hesitate to pull the leash tight. And, never remove the leash into you are safely within the confines of the fenced yard or house. In this way the puppy learns that there is never a time when it can run for freedom.

As Becky and I were having this conversation abut the new pet we both understood that it had broader implications for our lives.


Love, Kathy