A Side Note.

Over the last year Becky has become more of the teacher while 'mom' has become more of the student. When John first came home from exile I was scared. There were nights John was put in the kennel simply so that I could cry. Working in the studio was one thing. Having john back at home was another. Could I become the mistress he wanted, the one that he needed. What were the things that needed to be done to keep our life from drifting back to vanilla. And finally could I be happy living as a mistress wife bearing responsibly for the success of our marriage.

Becoming a mistress wife was not something Becky ever wanted or asked for. Like me she is confident as a woman, but had no wish to control the behavior of her husband. Yes, when called upon she found the courage to rise to the occasion. And since then she has learned to like the role of mistress. 'Mom, you know I have always liked vanilla ice cream' she wants told me. 'You should try chocolate', I would tell her.  She always said 'no' she would stick with vanilla. This past summer she reminded me of those long ago conversations. 'You know mom, I have tried chocolate and have learned to like it'. This time of course she was talking about relationships rather than ice cream.

In the living room that night what impressed me was both her confidence and her compassion. 'Honey, come in here', was given as a command rather than as a request. It was then followed with two other quick directives-you are going to bed early and bring us another glass of wine. And, then there was her sense of compassion-you may read until 11AM if you are not sleepy. And, compassion for her father. She understood that her father would be embarrassed by being given a directive for an early bed time in front of her. 'Mom', she said 'you can tell daddy while I am in the shower'. In a sense thought she was also guiding me on the best way to handle what could have been a ticklish situation for both me and her daddy. Yes, Becky was telling me, the original mistress of the family what to do.


Love, Kathy