Good morning to all of you.
A little while back we talked about the challenges of being a mistress wife. When John and I reunited after our split I took total control of our finances. His name was actually taken off a umber of our accounts. The feeling at the time was that so called slave husbands had no need to know how much money we had in the bank or how our investments were managed. Dealing with the stock market crash has put all of the pressure on me to make decisions. The advice of the experts is useless. It is always the same-stay invested-it will come back. And, just because your financial advisor is female it doesn't mean she understands more about finances than the men.
In the Dancing Backwards fictional book series the women are always smarter than the men. This makes for a good story, but it is not real life. Those of you who have read the blog over the years know that my John had a very successful career as an engineer and builder. There is no way that I could ever match his accomplishments. Yet, life with a submissive man is not about who is the smartest, it is about who has the personality to lead. In our relationship that is me. John is happiest on his knees at my feet. And, on his knees at my feet or in Command Position is where he belongs.
The world would be a better place if more women could accept their submissive men for whom they are. In the studio Mistress Tara loved to work with couples. Teaching women to rule their men in femdom relationships was an act of pure joy for her.
One of the words we don't use as much as we should is 'Commitment'. On that day when John was allowed to come back home he made a commitment to be my slave husband. He made a pledge to obey me in all areas of our life. The commitment was just as important to me as it was to him. By the time John came home I understood that he needed a mistress in order to be truly happy with his life.
And yes, I needed to be that mistress. For a while I thought about the lady who brought her husband into the studio for kenneling. In a sense she was abdicating her responsibility for being mistress to her man. The women in Tara's training classes had it right. They understood the importance of being their man's mistress and were willing to invest the energy in doing it. Tara understood how to make the learning process fun, but in reality it was an act of love.
When you think femdom relationships think love and commitment.
Kathy
Femdom relationship is for me realizing that the woman, my wife, has a better understanding of our marriage, better understanding of our money, and most of all truly knows me, my attitudes, my behavior. Dating it was decided when I showed some bad behavior and spending that she would take charge, I agreed. As for punishment, the first time she said she was going to give me a spanking, I was shocked, laughed, and went along with it. I do not today, that first spanking told me it was to learn from. So the Femdom relationship in my view is what is needed more today than ever, just look at the world.
ReplyDeleteExactly. There is an entire genre of femdom fiction that has yet to be written that depicts love and commitment as the driving force in the (power exchange) relationship.
ReplyDeleteKathy,
ReplyDeleteYou are right on point that it's about who is best to lead the marriage and not who is smarter. It always irks me when I hear the statement men are inferior to women. Submission does not mean stupid or inferior. My husband is intelligent and a leader at work. I love that I can have a normal conversation with him when I want to and I do seek his advice on decisions. I just have the final say. I live by the mantra loving female authority.
Also, as crazy as it sounds, my experience is that the same old wisdon from the financial planners is correct. Stay the course and don't stress over it. I've never wavered from my investment strategy and have weathered several down turns over the years. The market always bounces back.
Dear Mistress Kathy,
ReplyDeleteThank You, Ma'am for this post. Most of us know the history behind John's slavery situation and most of Your readers enjoy knowing that we are not alone in being submissive to our wives. And, in the position You found Yourself in, taking total control was needed and necessary and i am tickled that it has worked out well for both of you.
In my relationship, however, i find that assigning duties and responsibilities shouldn't rest on just one partner. She has some areas that she wants me to take total control of and provide her with the life that she deserves. So, i am in charge of investments and retirement income, while she controls what happens with how the income is spent. Other duties have been assigned over time of course, and she still lets me know what she wants me to do. However, time and routine has diminished the Dominant / submissive relationship.
But, at the same time, we are content with the situation where others may not be.
Slipping into routine and boredom is what i fear and probably what John has experienced.
It takes time and energy to be a good Mistress or Dominant of any relationship. But, it's worth the extra effort. At least, that's my hope. Still, little gifts and extra attention is my goal. And, i am kneeling before her now, which is new for us. Thank You for Your advice and continuation of Your blog. It has helped so very much.
Sincerely,
larry
Good morning Mrs. Kathy,
ReplyDeleteI do not believe I have commented here on your blog before. This morning I found some time to do so and just wanted to say thank you for sharing your Femdom/WLM/FLR life.
My Wife and I have been in a WLM since 2010, until a year ago it was more ebb and flow. A year ago, with a Dynamic Agreement we committed to our WLM 24/7 with all aspects of it's "D/s". Our WLM is one of commitment from both of us but first and foremost it is a love relationship built on our 31 years of marriage.
Thanks again,
Luvinhub
I come from a background that emphasized an equal division of labor and responsibility in marriage. In my former, egalitarian marriage, I tried to carry at least half of the responsibilities, and my wife often stated that I was unusual in that regard. Over time, however, I learned that she didn't really want to carry half of the responsibilities herself, and we had more and more disagreement about who was responsible for what.
ReplyDeleteAfter my divorce and learning about FLR and Femdom marriages, I realized that while I was perfectly capable of carrying half or more of the responsibilities, we needed a different decision-making model. I learned that I would much prefer to work hard and give up things that I thought that I wanted in order to live under the leadership of a woman who was willing to take responsibility for final decisions. I am perfectly willing to take responsibility for managing finances, or housework, or whatever she doesn't want to be directly responsible for, as long as I know that I am fulfilling her expectations and that she will correct me if needed. I agree that leadership in a marriage isn't about who is smarter. It is about who is able and willing to take on that leadership role.
I would substitute the word "subordinate" in place of "inferior".
ReplyDeleteRepeating a definition....Femdom is that realm in which men are subordinate to women.
Tim