Good morning to all of you.
There are so many good things to talk about that it is bringing me back to the computer. However, in truth the summer of 2018 was my time to detox from everything electronic. A recent comment was related to the fact that I no longer comment on the comments. The reason is that it takes so much time. However, commenting on the comments is a wonderful way to stimulate discussion, and that is what this blog is all about. For some of you, the early readers, this blog was your introduction to the world of female led relationships.
On the Today show this morning there was an interesting segment dedicated to female leaders. It was on my office television this morning when John brought in my first cup of coffee. How many of those women are also mistresses to their husbands I wondered out loud to my sweetie. Knowing he would like to watch the segment I had him sit on the floor next to my desk We had a little discussion as it was going on. I jokingly made the statement that he could have lived with any of those women as his mistress. Yes, it was a joke, but with more than just a little bit of truth to it.
Last night we had a few neighbors over for cocktails and a snacks. Most of the guys wanted to watch the football game, and that was fine. We chatted, we laughed and had a good time. For most of us the little gathering marked the official end of this holiday season. As I prepare this posting John is busy with the clean up work. Like Miss Tina's husband John has developed the skill set to be a very good maid. He blushes when I tell him that in front of Carol. Men are so cute when they blush.
One of the other commenters suggested that I should look at the Think Tank blog this morning as there were some interesting post on it. There were several new post from guest authors, and I enjoyed reading all of them. My one concern was related to one of the post that clearly stated that men should be considered as inferior to women. That concert bothered me more than just a little as I do not think that is the direction for femdom writers to take. Just because one person is in charge of another person does not make either one inferior to the other. My Husband is one of the smartest people I have ever met. As an engineer he has built amazing structures, and has a grasp of the world that most political leaders with envy. He is smart, he is creative, and above all he had the good sense to marry me. Just teasing, but yes may there is some truth in that statement.
In a more pluralistic society where there are many viable choices of lifestyle femdom is gaining traction. Will it ever become socially acceptable in the same way as other alternate lifestyle choices? I am not sure, but my suspicion is that men are starting to talk about femdom with other men. John's golf partner is a good example. It started last year some time. Some of you may remember the posting. As part of a punishment I forbid John from playing golf on this one occasion. However, the bigger part of the punishment for him was to tell his friend that he couldn't play because I would not give him permission. It hurt to tell his friend that, I know, and that is why he was made to say it.
Sometimes things work out in different way. When he next played golf his friend brought up the subject in a delicate way. While I don't know much aobut the discussion John's golfing friend was asking some interesting questions. And, as John tells me, he admitted to his friend I am in fact his mistress as well as his wife. In some ways Johns tells me that his friend is envious as well as simply interested.
Love you all for reading. Love your selves for who you are and for all of the blessing God has given to you.
Kathy
Thanks for your post.
ReplyDeleteI looked at the post on the other site you mention, and I want to address the whole superior/inferior thing. There are two meanings to the concept of superiority, and I think people get caught up on it. I apologize in advance for what may come across as a condescending lecture, but I really want to make my whole case.
The first sense of the concept is superiority/inferiority from a qualitative standpoint. Audis are superior to Toyotas. This is a general statement that one is better than the other, but we can also use it to refer to a specific quality: the United States is militarily superior to Norway. Some people take an extremist approach to FLRs and assert that females are qualitatively superior to males. It sounds like you share my view that this is not a healthy idea to build a relationship around.
The second sense of superior/inferior refers to organization. An admiral is superior to a lieutenant, and so the inferior lieutenant must follow the admiral’s orders. Ideally, the admiral has been made a superior officer because the admiral is superior in some relevant ways to the lieutenant. It does not mean that the admiral is qualitatively superior in every way, or even most ways, and it does not mean that the lieutenant is an inferior person.
In an FLR, the woman is undeniably organizationally superior to the man. Importantly, this inferior position for the man has been agreed to by both parties. This may be because the woman is superior in some way that makes this arrangement make sense. Perhaps it’s because she is a better decision-maker and leader. Perhaps she possesses traits that make her superior at managing the relationship to keep it healthy and strong. Or maybe it has nothing to do with her being superior in any relevant respect and it’s just because she has a dominant personality and he has a submissive one, so her taking a superior position works best for both of them. Whatever the reason is, the hierarchical structure of an FLR does not need to mean that the woman is qualitatively superior to the man.
In the post you mention, the author says that men in FLRs thrive in being inferior to woman. I don’t think this means they thrive in being lower quality than women, but rather that they excel in submitting themselves to an inferior position to women: they are happier and function better. I think this interpretation is supported by her view that the inequality of an FLR is to the benefit of submissive men. The post goes on to make some points that, in my view, are very undesirable from a political perspective, but that should should be treated as separate from her point that women in FLRs should relish in and take full advantage of their superiority in the relationship.
I don’t mean to sound preachy, and I certainly don’t mean to jump down anyone’s throat, but I’ve always thought about this whenever I see a debate on superiority/inferiority on FLR blogs and I wanted to share my thoughts. I hope men in FLRs can feel comfortable in acknowledging that they sit in the inferior position in their relationship without feeling that they are lower quality people. And I hope women in FLRs can acknowledge and embrace that they are the superior partners in their relationship without losing respect for their partners or missing out on the likely fact that their partners are superior in some respects that she can benefit from through her leadership role.
Jason
Mistress Kathy
ReplyDeleteYou are a woman of great wisdom. We are grateful for your sharing it with us. Mistress Tina's "less of a man" comment scared me. Provoked much conversation in our household
joni (jj)
Good post. I don’t consider myself inferior but I will do anything for my Queen. This works for me.
ReplyDeleteSeems to me, people are struggling with accepting hierarchy due to a pluralistic compulsion to impose equality everywhere. The massive contradictions in the post and comment responses become word salad. When I look to nature, I can not find equality literally anywhere. It does not exist in nature. Also, why would I accept the leadership of someone I did not feel was superior? Why would I embrace a role of inferiority to someone that is my equal? People are tying themselves into pretzels to embrace roles of inequality with full equality. We're equal, just pretending to be unequal. Makes no sense to me. It's inauthentic.
ReplyDeleteThere is actually some significant evolutionary biology evidence to support that women are indeed superior to men. For example, Melvin Konner's book, "Women After All". It has received serious peer review from MIT evolutionary biology professors, etc. Here's a quote from the book for contemplation: “Show me a male brain and I will show you a bulging amygdala—the brain’s centre of fear and violence—densely dotted with testosterone receptors.” If we look at the last few thousand years of patriarchal dominance, what is the result? It reflects Konner's statement and it ain't pretty.
I personally don't believe all women are superior to all men. Each individual has numerous lines of development, comparing any man and woman, the man will be more developed in certain lines. Yet, overall? My money is on women.
Ms Kathy
ReplyDeleteI think a lot boils down to this:
The roll of a submissive is very much tied to being a pleaser to the Domme. But what's the Domme's roll? Does She even have a defined roll?
Alex
Hello Kathy .
ReplyDeleteI read the post you are referring to on the Think Tank and even commented in agreement . I do not see a woman's superiority as a sum of her talents but rather as her natural and rightful place within the male / female relationship . I have many talents that exceed my wife's abilities but thiose talents become much more productive under her control. A man in a FLR should not become weaker in his submission to her but rather stronger with an ever growing desire to earn her approval. Under her control I am in the best physical shape of my life, I earn more money than ever before and make sure she never finds it nessary to take part in any domestic choirs . Her superior presence and attitude is what I long for it in a woman . I believe the world will benefit greatly as women begin to understand that these principles are universal and what every man secretly desires.
Take Care
John Dalton
Thank you, Kathy, for bringing up the topic of a pluralistic society.
ReplyDeleteI was reviewing Femdom Think Tank submissions by guest authors;
Ron S. discussed whether all women are suitable as leaders in an FLR. He indicated that some women are submissive. That rang a bell. I recalled a blog I had looked at awhile back-The Black Dragon blog-in which the author categorized women as either Dominant, Submissive, or Independent. I suspect that a submissive woman would be happiest in a traditional patriarchal, M/f marriage. I imagine that the concept of an egalitarian marriage exists because of Independent women-however, the Black Dragon author estimated that Independent woman are a small minority of women.
Wikipedia has interesting article regarding counter cultures.. I see Femdom as a counter culture that is just starting to form.
Regarding guest posts to Femdom Think Tank:
ReplyDeleteI would suggest that Diana use different terms, instead of "superior" and "inferior". Perhaps Dominant Woman could be described as "leading" or "commanding"; submissive men could be described as "subordinate". By the way, I like the idea of men being described as "the second sex" in a fandom context.
Karl talked about Commonalities Among Submissive Men. I was wondering if other males are like me-I have a submissive streak, but it is only activated by Dominant Women.
Perhaps we should speak in terms of orientations. A submissive male may be orientated towards obeying Dominant Women, but is otherwise no more inclined to submit than the average male.
I think that as Dominant Women begin talking with each other, and submissive men begin talking with each other, I think that we will eventually see the formation of a Femdom Counter Culture.
ReplyDeleteIn the long run, I suspect that Femdom will become a viable alternative to what would now be deemed conventional.
I was looking at the blog "Im-Hers". I started to read comments that were posted by men. There appeared to be a general pattern of men voicing support for male submission. So, yes, male submissives are beginning to talk to each other.
ReplyDeleteContrast this with a story posted to Femdom Think Tank, in which a man is ridiculed by male co-workers for obeying his wife.
I think that Femdom will become more viable with-in effect-a fraternity of male submissives. Which could offer approval and understanding for a man who chooses this lifestyle.
Hi
ReplyDeletebeing very new to this lifestyle relationship I worry that any respect/love/caring my lady has for me will disappear. Can the mistress/wife still love and respect her husband or is he just a servant with no opinions or ambitions worth considering. I am truly frightened she will treat me aa the latter.
Kind regards