Punishment....

It seems like I have been away from the blog for so long. John and I were out of town for Thanksgiving.  This, however, was a special year. Our son, his wife and baby were able to join us for part of the weekend. And yes, once again I am a grandmother.  Having the Thanksgiving celebration in Becky's home made it all the more special. And, in her home Becky is the boss. Each year Becky and her husband seem to grow closer together. Each year she seems to grow more confident both as a woman and as a mistress. We don't understand the why of it, but for some men having a mistress in their life is a requirement for happiness. David is one of these men.

It has been many months, Becky tells me since she has felt the need to spank David with the hair brush. What surprised me is that she made the comment in front of both him and John, and did so with a smile. For a moment I may have detected a slight blush on David's face, but he handled the remark extremely well. While Becky meant the remark as a compliment, statements such as this in front of another man can sometimes cause difficulty. With the remark I could see David's face glancing toward John in an effort to gage his reaction.

David has become a model of the new age male who takes pride in service/obedience to his wife. He understood Becky's comment as the compliment it was meant to be, but saying it in front of John was a mistake. When your man behaves well, or simply pleases you in some way there is noting wrong with complimenting him. Sometimes a compliment can be as simple as a little kiss on the cheek. Becky has developed the habit of giving David a love tap on his rear as a sign of her appreciation.
In some ways I believe the love tap is a better form of reward than a kiss as it is also a reminder as to  wears the pants in the relationship.

When the children were growing up we enrolled them in various sports programs. Becky played volleyball and tennis. Our son was more into baseball and football. A part of what we wanted was for them to enjoy playing the game. Another important part of sports was learning discipline.
While the term was difficult to define we wanted them to understand the importance of rules and of protocols. We wanted them to understand the importance of being there on time, of trying their best, and being a part of something that was bigger than just the individual.

Just as baseball players accept the discipline that comes with being a member of the team, men need to accept the rules and protocols of the house. As I recall this was a must for clients of the studio.
For example men were never allowed to ever touch a female unless given permission. They were only allowed to speak when a woman asked a question or other wise gave them permission. In the home the rules may not be as severe as in the studio, but there are rules that govern male behavior in the home. In our home John is expected to perform a polite curtsy when brining my morning coffee.
When summoned  with the call bell he is required to immediately stop what he is doing, and come to me. Anytime he sees dirty dishes in the sink or on the counter he is expected to pick them up. These are just small examples of the many rules that help to establish the framework of our lives.

Most of the rules and protocols of our home are fairly normal for a couple in our lifestyle.  Some of the rules are clearly articulated, some are simply understood. It is these rules and protocols that form the basis for what I call discipline. By being taught these things john has become what I call a disciplined man. Like the baseball player who fails to follow the rules of the game John will be punished for a failure to follow the rules of his home. As his mistress it is my responsibility to insure that John understands the rules. It is my responsibility to train him to do things my way. As a side note many of you may remember what Key's book said on the issue of doing things her way. This is part of the process I call discipline.

The question than becomes when and how do we discipline. The when is that we do it every day.
Men have no idea how easy it is to discipline them. Most of the time they don't realize it is happening. Women have a type of natural authority over men. It is quite, it is subtle, but it is real.
Many men are effectively living in something of a female led marriage without even realizing it.
If you were to ask them the response would be that they are not in a female led or femdom marriage, but in reality the wife has trained them to obey and make her the center of their lives. If they were to ask the wife if she wanted a femdom marriage she would most probably answer in the negative.
However, in reality it is the wife that controls things, and the man lives to please her.

Having men respond to your voice, your smile, your touch is a part of what makes being a woman so very special.

Love you for reading,


Kathy