Punishment...

O'gosh, once again the comments are predicating the direction of the blog. And, for me at least that is a good thing. As any one else, besides Joel, had the though that feminism is kind of a dog whistle for female supremacy? 

In response to yesterday's posting Becky gave me a call. 'You know mom, when the guys hear the tap of her heels they immediately get back to working'. In that instance Becky was talking about David's female supervisor. Just like every office people have a tendency to talk, waste time, or play on the computer, but it is all business when they hear the sound of the lady boss coming their way. Becky went on to say that in retrospect the situation in David' s office is not really bad. He had a very good review with a decent pay raise. 'She' also told David that he had a good future with the company. 

'She' was very pleased with David in that he did not show resentment to her promotion. In 'her' view it was still difficult being a female supervisor in a department with men. 'She' also understood that David might have a difficult time working in her department. 

The other email was from a lady who has followed the blog for some time. This lady was commenting on Becky's situation. Yes, she said, feminism has a way of making certain things more difficult for us, but like the song says-look how much we're gained. We still look to our men to be protectors. Walking on a dark street I  clutch John's hand for security. He is my man- my rock when the world becomes a scary place. Thank you Alex for reminding me of this. And, perhaps one of the reasons femdom is not more socially acceptable is the idea that we still think of men as  protectors.

In the office David has learned to attach himself to the new boss. He sees her as a rising star in the company, and he hopes that she will bring him along with her. As time goes by we shell see what happens. It may be that David is one of several who are competing to be in her favor. What perhaps is different about the office situation is that David see the boss lady as his protector.

Since the topic of this series is punishment let me leave you with an idea. Working in the studio I learned a little about the topic from Tara.  She taught me that effective punishment  was about the entire experience. What I once told Becky is that it all starts with discipline. It is important for a man to understand the rules. It is equally important for him to understand that he will be held accountable for any infractions of the rules. In some femdom homes the women allow their husbands a voice in the making of the rules. In other homes the men are simply told. Either way a man needs to understand that the rules and protocols of the home apply to him. After giving David a rule or  protocol Becky will ask David if he understands. She may also have him repeat the direction back to her.

The next phase of punishment is related to the action actually being taken. In most situations the context in which action is taken is more important than the action itself.  In the studio Tara was a master at framing a punishment so that its effects would be magnified. Once I witnessed her giving a client a spanking. She had him naked bent over a bench in the most humiliating position imaginable. She knew he was divorced with an adult daughter. 'What would you daughter think if she saw you like this', she would ask him. With a few simple words she was able to change the context in which the punishment was given. She understood how to make the pain of the humiliation real for this man. She might even threaten to find the daughter or the wife and send them a picture of him in a tutu. She, of course, would never do it, but it made the studio experience more real.

As wives who sometimes punish their men we have a tendency to forget about after care. What we forget is that being punished by a wife is a deeply emotional experience for most men. In a sense punishment strips a man of the emotional attachment to the male ego. It more or less frees his psychic from many aspects of male toxicity. This freeing of the psychic allows the adult man to become the loving, obedient husband that both he and the mistress want him to be. In talks with Becky I have always stressed the importance of after care. In many ways after care is the most important part of the punishment. It is often the part of the punishment that will stay with a man after the sting of the whip is forgotten.

And yes, before going away, I want to say that in a femdom marriage punishment is the duty of the wife. And, for those of you who missed the above statement I will say it once again. In a femdom marriage punishment, when necessary, is a duty of the wife. And there is one more yes. In marriages with older daughters, such as Richard's, it is the responsibility of the wife to educate.


Love you all for reading.


Kathy