A Side Note

Once again a big thank you to all of those who were kind enough to share.

I believe it was Joel who asked an interesting question. Is femdom actually a good thing for the submissive male. In my opinion yes, it is a good thing, because femdom gives men something they not only want but need. A question than becomes does it make them overly dependent on the lady who owns them. And yes, over time femdom does seem to cause a great deal of dependency.  If femdom is with the 'right' lady my thinking it is fine. There is potential for abuse. After a time a so called life partner may no longer have her submissive mans best interest at heart. And, the potential for financial abuse is apparent to all.

One of the commentates mentioned how his pay check is quickly removed to a bank account in which he has no control. Most mistress wives consider every penny their husbands earn as their property to do with as they wish. I agree with this philosophy. There is no valid reason for a man to have access to any type of bank account. If the need for money comes up for whatever reason he should ask his wife. It then becomes her decision. And there are situations where by a husband may need money for one reason or the other. It may be to help an elderly parent, or to help family members with college expenses. In difficult situations the wife should listen, but in the end all financial decisions are hers.

Femdom provides the truly submissive man with the kind of life he wants and needs. This is not to say there will be total happiness in the land of Valhalla.( Did I spell that word correctly, I am not sure.) Femdom is not about giving a man all that he wants. Yes, in the beginning he wants to serve his lady. After a year or so of making beds and scrubbing toilets the initial excitement of doing house work can turn into simple drudgery. Becky has learned that this is where discipline plays an important part in the relationship. With the word discipline I am talking about a systems of rules and protocols by which a man lives.

By discipline lets take a look at my John. Almost every day of the week he has some duties to perform in our home. Friday is his day to clean our bedroom, wash and change the bed sheets, vacuum, clean the mistress bathroom, and finally dust. Over the years John has accepted this as one of his household duties. Yet, he has been doing it for a long time. In the beginning there was a sense of excitement about performing this duty for his mistress. That same excitement may no longer  be there. In the real world of a mistress/slave relationship the question is how to  keep a man attentive to his duties?

For this mistress a big part of keeping her husband on 'track' is a careful inspection of his work.
The inspection will always come with a critique. And, in this home the husband understands that if his house hold work is not up to standards he will be doing it again. Our king size bed has a heavy mattress, and it is close to a large piece of  furniture. The end result is that changing the sheets is a bit of a difficult job, and John hates doing it. He also understands that if it is not done correctly I have no hesitation of pulling off the sheets for him to start over again. After one episode when the bedroom work was overly sloppy I had him change the sheets every day for a week.
I am not sure if you should call this discipline or punishment, but it caused him to do a better job of serving me. It also reminded him that even as an older man and a long term submissive he is still my slave. After years of training and discipline John understands that he is an owned man and will be so for the rest of his life.

In the early part of Becky's femdom relationship I encouraged her to give David more household duties. He is so busy she would tell me. Yes, he may be busy, but I suspected that he has time for more, and additional responsibilities would be good for both of you. And, what she did correctly was not only to give him more duties, but to pay attention to what he was doing. 'You know, mom, it helps a lot if I inspect his work', she told me. 'He takes more ownership of what he does when I do a careful evaluation,' I remember hearing. She also understood that inspection and evaluation made David's brain work in different ways. 'It makes him want to do what he is supposed to do', she once mentioned to me. She also told me that he feared the hairbrush with the stiff bristles. What I heard was that he will do almost anything to keep those hard bristles from coming down on his rear end.

Becky correctly understood that motivating David was a mixture of positive rewards combined with
a sense of fear. From an early age she understood that a man's sense of fear of his girlfriend, wife, or mistress was a good thing. In high school she learned to creat a sense of apprehension in boys by not returning calls or by having them wait while she got ready. As a mistress wife she quicly learned the value of a hairbrush in maintaining authority. It is very seldom that she has to use it, but the sight of it on her make up vanity is sufficient to send a daily reminder to David that she is still the boss. While this may seem cruel to some of you, Becky understands that this everyday reminder is a good thing for David because it is what he needs.

Love you all  for reading and for sharing,


Kathy