Why is it that Sunday is the first day of the week when almost everyone believes it should be Monday?? And, if the first day of the week really is Sunday why is it that we refer to Saturday and Sunday as the weekend?? Well, the answer of course is related to religion in that church services should be on the first day of the week rather than the last day. Still, I would rather my personal calendar indicate Monday as the first day.
One of the most controversial posting ever on this blog was related to religion. Some of you may remember it. It is my believe that the family who prays together has a better chance of staying together. Alone those lines it is my belief that upon marriage a couple should closely examine their religions preferences. In a femdom marriage it is my opinion that a man should accept the religious tenants of his soon to be wife and mistress. Being of the same religious beliefs makes it easier to extend teachings to the children. When the parents are of the same faith it serves to reduce confusion and conflict within the family. Most important though is the concept that a common religious philosophy by both mother and father serves as an important foundation for the children.
Aside from bible study in their church Becky and her husband read religious based stories to the children.. Becky picks out the books and at times discusses them with her husband before sharing them with the children. The reason for this is that she wants her husband to be on the same page when talking with the children. She views her husband as her first mate and expects him to maintain an active leadership role in the family. She also tries not to correct him in front of the children. However, one of the points she makes is denying permission for a request is not the same as correcting him.
She has no issue with her husband acknowledging her authority by asking permissions in front of the family. In other words she has no issue with letting the children understand that as a leader their father is still under the authority of their mother.
While I no longer remember any of the actual comments to the original posting they were mostly negative to mixed. Back then most of the readers were still 'want to bees' in their relationships. For the most part they felt it was wrong for a man to change religion to that of his wife's. How do most you feel about it now? And, for the ladies how do feel about the issue of correcting your man in front of the children? And, for the men, how do you feel about being corrected in front of the family? Please share.
Love, Kathy
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12 comments:
Smart leaders never counter a junior manager in front of their reports unless there is a time-sensitive crisis that makes doing so imperative to ensure their immediate safety or the preservation of critical resources.
So far as religion and faith, I can’t see how a couple could get to a marriage decision if they weren’t already aligned in faith.
A few years ago, my agnostic wife reluctantly allowed me to regularly go to a church and do activities related to the church. I even volunteered at a food bank where a lot of Muslims would show up as patrons. My wife, and even my mother both thought I was a hypocrite for working at that food bank when I didn’t support those people even being in the country in the first place. Then, she mocked me for volunteering to fix up houses in the inner city that had front yards with grass 3 feet tall and garbage thrown everywhere knowing that the occupants would neglect those houses and within a year they would be in the same condition again. Eventually, I quit going, not quite because of the above reasons, but because I found all the churches in my area to be phonies. They would say they were against certain things, and then 5 years later, they would say they discovered new bible verses that said the original things weren’t so bad after all, and that being against those things was now a sin. And they always seemed to be cheering sections for Israel. Nevertheless, after I quit, the perception was it was because my wife told me to quit, and I suppose that is somewhat true as well.
Joel
Hello again, Mistress Kathy. Happy Monday to you. It could be that the family religious preference may be a regional thing. We live in the SE USA smack in the middle of the bible belt. When we married, I left my church and attended hers, as did my son when he married. Most every couple we know has done the same. I absolutely have no issue being corrected in front of the family and I prefer that she does it immediately if an infraction occurs. If she holds back, the "correction" tends to be worse if done at a later time as she fumes more over the issue in the interim, I guess. I have realized that she corrects me because she care about me. All the children realized early on that she is in charge of the household and no one thought anything unusual about it. If my children observed a different dynamic on a sleepover with friends, they never questioned us about it that I can recall. Hope you had a great day today. I did. Today was my birthday and I heard from lots of family members and friends so I feel blessed.
One of the research predictors of long-term success in marriages is shared values. Marriage partners can maintain their marriage without sharing religious beliefs, but they are less likely to experience significant conflicts if they share the same faith and religious or spiritual beliefs and values. As a marriage counselor, I believe that couples are better off discussing their respective beliefs to ensure compatibility before they make a long term commitment to each other.
Because religious beliefs represent foundational truth for many people, committed believers will have difficulty giving up their faith in exchange for a relationship. I understand the principle behind the submissive partner following the lead of the dominant partner in faith and practice, but not everyone is going to be able or willing to sacrifice core beliefs.
If the partners share core beliefs and the differences are more in preferences about how to practice their shared faith, then it is much more realistic and reasonable for a dominant partner to expect her submissive partner to accept her decisions about where and how to worship and practice their faith.
Many people who subscribe to a Female Led Relationship believe that the wife should be the final authority in all things, including their faith. Christians who do not accept the traditional Christian teaching that the husband is the spiritual head of the family could hold up the wife as the head in every respect, and teach their children to accept that authority structure. I know of other women who want an FLR in most respects but who believe that the husband should be the leader in spiritual matters. Those couples would need to take a different approach to the spiritual life of the family. Couples who want an FLR because the wife has a more dominant personality and the husband has a more submissive personality, but who hold a more egalitarian view of spiritual leadership might take different approaches depending on which partner is viewed as the best spiritual leader regardless of how authority and decision-making is handled in other aspects of their lives.
I am the submissive man in our relationship, and I am very willing to defer to the authority and decision-making of my partner. I am also very willing to submit to her on spiritual questions and practices that do not conflict with my core beliefs. However, in our case, I also hold an advanced degree and a lot of experience in religious and spiritual study, while my partner has no formal training and very little experience in studying or discussing these subjects. She has beliefs that are important to her, but she refers to me in formal understanding and discussion about many spiritual topics. I cannot tell her what to believe, and I never would, but I am much more capable of formulating and articulating a discussion about the subject.
When it comes to the man openly deferring to the woman's authority, or accepting her public correction, I think that different couples will have to find the best solution for them depending on their family and social contexts. Some people have families and friends who will accept their Female Dominant dynamic. Others do not. Where I live in the South, we believe that we need to be cautious about who we share our FLR dynamic with, because so many of our friends and family hold traditional and conservative views and would not be accepting or tolerant of our relationship. I would love to openly live out an FLR dynamic, and maybe one day we will be able to. In front of people who are able to accept our relationship, I would not have any problem deferring to her or being corrected by her in public, just like she does in private. That's as it should be.
Hello Ms Kathy,
I have not commented in quite a while, and simply want to check in to see how you and the family are doing. N.O. has been hit very hard by this virus, I know. I hope the family are all well and surviving each day's challenges.
I am in Thailand, have been for nearly 10 years. We are also in a lockdown. Our numbers are far less than yours in the US, but we are all concerned as well. Wearing of masks are more common here, but inventories are very low now too.
Stay well, all of you,
Tony
My wife has decided that the Stay At Home Policy is going to work towards her advantage. She has a long honey due list, she also has decided that to insure my attitude and behavior is improved, I have to wear my jammies as she calls them every day. She states it reminds me of who is in charge and also she has one article to remove to spank my bare bottom. She is going to take advantage of this stay at home policy. She smiles and said that she will find any hidden magazines. Jack
It seems that the depth of the religious attachment of the husband and wife needs to be considered. If the wife has a more superficial religious identification and the husband is deeply tied to his religious identity, adopting the wife's religious traditions and beliefs would seem difficult. Vanilla and femdom couples all forge their own paths based on where each in coming from. I'm not sure that a one-size-fits all answer works here.
J
A slap followed by a good scolding from a Woman is the most effective method to correct a man in the presence of others. It is shameful and humbles the man especially when there are younger Women and Girls around. With the rise of Women as the richer and better educated gender, men will have to get used to behaving as their Women tell them to, and be slapped and scolded if they do not, not just in front of family but in public as well.
Hi Mistress Kathy. Given the huge amount of trust underpinning even starting our femdom marriage there is an implicit comfort in one’s Mistress’s values and beliefs. This extends to any expectation to follow her beliefs. To be frank a lot depends on whether you are there for religion or God I guess. My Mistress corrects me in front of the family but in a gentle but firm way. In the end if you carry the weight of an ego you probably shouldn’t be in a femdom or FLR marriage?? Just our thoughts . Stay safe x DandSNZ
I think there's a reasonable distinction between "beliefs" and "practices". That is, it's pretty hard to compel someone to change beliefs, to the point where it's just not a reasonable demand to make. Even at gunpoint, I'm not sure an atheist could convince me to stop believing in God, merely to lie about it (and vice versa). The only sensible solution is for people to have reasonably harmonized beliefs prior to marriage.
But I think it's very reasonable to demand changes in religious practice. For example, if your religion involves fasting or prayer or donating time or attending a given church service, those seem like perfectly sensible demands. If I refused to go to church with my wife, she'd be well within her rights to correct me and demand that I do. That more or less happened in the first year of our marriage, where she said that she found my current church unpleasant and wanted us to attend a different one. I've noticed this as a sort of quiet signal of power dynamics in a relationship, where a wife will "volunteer" her husband to lead a prayer in a group setting (like a meal) that involves other friends or guests.
I too am slapped on the facm in private and public. Its quick at the time and corrects bad behaviour or innatention. With bad behaviour though it sometimes is followed by another punishment and nearly always by a formal one within the week during our Parliament time or that evening.
That is because if She has slapped my face and particularly publicly She is really very disappointed or angry with me.
Femsup
It is not a common occurrance but I have been both slapped and arm pinched by my wife publicly. It has an overwhelmingly strong effect on me pretty immediately. It brings a complete quiet submission that is even stronger than when we are in private or at home. More normally her corrections that are public are more verbal than physical but even those have a stronger effect when others are present
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