Some Quick thoughts On A Monday Morning.

This is not really suppose to be a series, but the comment from Key made me think back on his book.
For one thing, as a moderator, I could have done a better job. The truth is that it had been some time since my reading, and my memory of the book had been somewhat rusty. As John and I have adopted the pledge as a part of our daily talk it was that part of the book which was front and center on my agenda. But, there are other parts of the book that deserve special attention.

Once again my belief is that Key's book has something to offer for most couples regardless of the level or intensity of their relationship. Even for more so called vanilla couples the examples of silent support are something that every man should be aware of. We hear so many times that the wife is not interested in femdom. The simple truth is that she may not be interested in any type of relationship with a femdom sounding name, but she may be interested in leading or taking more charge of her man, or even  becoming head of house. Words do have meaning, and while a man can't trick his wife into a femdom relationship there might be times when changing the words can help. I would encourage each of you to read through the addendum called silent support. As the book says there are ways to become a better spouse while helping  your wife succeed and blossom. It is about enriching her life. And, the magical thing is that by enriching her life, a loving husband will enrich is own life.

But today I want to talk just a little about the fifteen guidelines that a husband can use as a quick reference. The first one is to surrender to a wife/girlfriend's natural authority. The question than becomes do women have some type of natural authority over men. My simple answer is yes. A little while back we talked about how as a young girl Becky was able to get her father to drive her and her friends wherever they wanted to go. Our son was told to take the bus. Well not quite, but it was different with him. The point is that even our daughter could have her way with John.
While she may not have realized it, her request for assistance were just about the same as an instruction to do something. John could tell our son no, but he could never tell Becky no. Is it any wonder that she is now a mistress to a devoted husband.


Looking back on our pre femdom years John was always ready to do as he was instructed. From a technical point of view, I might have asked would you like to do this or that this weekend, but his answer was always 'whatever you want'. In our present relationship he is simply told what the plans are for the weekend. This morning our neighbor stopped in for a short conversation about some neighborhood issues. 'Would you like a cup of coffee' I asked. 'Yes, if you have some made Carol responded.' With a furtive glance in John's direction, I simply said 'baby, make some fresh coffee for us".

When the coffee was ready John served it. He didn't even have to ask Carol how she liked it fixed.  He remembered from last time and the time before that. And the compliment about how sweet he is was directed toward me. And yes, as John's wife and as his mistress the compliment made me proud.
For a brief moment I felt like saying something to the effect that yes he is a sweet submissive man, but then thought that might be more information than Carol really needed to know. So I simply responded that John takes pride in remembering what visitors like. What I also didn't tell Carol was that I take pride in having a sweet-well trained submissive man for a husband.

If any one is interested we could talk more about these topics, but for now I just encourage you to take another look at these two sections of Surrender, Submit, and Serve.


Love, Kathy

Some Quick Thoughts On A Monday Morning

This is not really a posting. It is not really the start of a new series. More than anything it is just some thoughts related to the comment from Richard related to femdom weddings.

With the royal wedding this weekend in St. Georges chapel everyone is thinking about weddings. John and I watched a few minutes of the ceremony along with the carriage ride. The pageantry was spectacular. Megan was beautiful. By the smile she put on Harry's face you could feel the love and romance.  Harry with his well trimmed beard looked so handsome; so manly and yet so adorably cute that I could have kissed him right there at the altar.

The comment from Richard addressed the idea of femdom weddings. And yes, I think the world may be coming to that, but not in the same way as Richard talks about. It is one thing for the groom to take a public vow of obedience. It is another thing for the groom to wear something cute and skimpy so that he will be ogled by the  women. As mistress wives we want our men to be manly. We want to be the one who wears the beautiful dress. We are the ones who want to be ogled.

What I am trying to say is that modern femdom philosophy is not about men becoming women, and women becoming manly. Femdom is about men acknowledging the natural authority of women in their every day lives. It is about the natural desire of men to serve the lady in their life. A man who is submissive to women is no less a man. This, I believe is the social concept that will drive femdom relationships in the twenty first century.

And, we are starting to see the concept of women leading and making decisions in our everyday lives.
We even see it on television commercials. Sometimes the messages are so subtle that we miss them, but they are there. Here are two examples.

Last month or so I'm hers posted a short video of a man unloading packages from a van. The attractive lady watching him struggle made no effort to help. In the end she even had the poor suffering husband close the rear door by himself. The outward message was simply to show how easy the van's door could be closed. The inner message was about who is in charge. The lady was clearly the boss of this man. He didn't look like a week man. He looked to be what most people would call 'manly', and she wasan't some type of a witch with a spanking rod. Yet, she was the boss. She was the mistress.

This weekend I happened to watch a short commercial from a leading insurance company. In this commercial the message about who was in charge was so subtle that I almost missed it. It is evening and both parents are in bed reading. A teenage boy comes into the bedroom. The teenager, who had been out with the family car, reports that there was a minor fender bender in a narrow drive up. But don't worry he tells the parents because their insurance policy has accident forgiveness. He proudly tells the parents that their insurance rates wont go up. Without a second though the mom calmly tells the teenager that there will be no car for four weeks. The decision on punishment is up to her. The father is not consulted. He clearly has nothing to say in the matter. The wife who is obviously head of house makes the decision completely on her own.

Many of the blogs take the idea of role reversal to an extreme. In the fifties men were in charge. In the current century more women will be in charge. While this may lead to some changes in the ways in which men and women dress, I don't see men starting to wear skirts and makeup. Well, maybe a skirt now and then, but certainly not makeup. Women will always want the look that turns a man's head. We will always want to be the one who is pursued, I think. And, for the outside world we do not want friends and neighbors to know that our guy wears pretty panties under his jeans. No, not yet, I think.


Love, Kathy

Should Men Be Allowed To Vote.

This last posting was kind of started as a silly little thing to have fun with. Never did I expect it to engender so much of a response. Most of the responses were simple yeses or no's, but some were well written and well thought out. While I am not in favor of disenfranchising men there were arguments that caused me to think about the issue in a  realistic manner.

As mentioned in the comment section I want the same opportunities for both my son and my daughter. In a general way this includes the opportunity to contribute to society as well as earning a living. And, I love them both. I love them both equally. But, over the years my observation has been that Becky matured at a younger age than my son. Its of no importance now, but she learned to use the toilet at an earlier age than my son. From the start she was more interested in school and learning her letters. While our son was very smart he just didn't care for school. The teacher once told me he didn't yet have the maturity. Even in college he had difficulty with adjusting to the lack of supervision that comes with being away from home for the first time. There was never this type of an issue with Becky.

After college our son was able to find a job, but he had a playboy attitude towards life. As far as I know he is not submissive, but what settled him down was meeting the right girl. I am proud to say that this young lady is now our daughter in law. And together they are building a family. She is in no way what anyone would call a mistress wife, but her influence on him has been positive. He watches his weight as well as his credit score. He doesn't miss work because of a hang over or for sleeping through an alarm. She has taught him to wear the right clothes for the right occasion. There have been times when I have wondered whether she actually picks out some of what he wears. What I would say is that he is not submissive, but he is sensitive to her priorities. Does that sentence make sense to all of you?

In looking at my son an argument could have been made that his enfranchisement should have come at a later age than it did with Becky. Is this true in general? I will add to the fire by saying that in my opinion most males do not fully mature until their thirties. Over the years I have had several emails from young men who tell me that they want to have a mistress wife, or want to live as a slave to a strong woman. If they are under thirty I tell them that they probably need more maturity before making that type of a decision.

Until men reach their thirties most of them simply don't know themselves well enough to make life long commitments.  In the studio most of the clients were in their forties or older. It was at a certain age that they recognized their personal need for submission. So many of the comments were the same. 'Yes, I love my wife', they would say, but they also needed a mistress in their lives. And, some of what they needed could be described as kink. Yet, much of their needs simply focused on having a lady to obey and serve. For a few of these men I was privileged to be that lady. You have no idea how many of these men wanted to come clean my house or do my ironing.

Let me know it this post is hitting a chord with any of you, or is it missing the mark.


Love, Kathy

Should Men Be Allowed to Vote

For all of you who are wondering this is not really a post.

By way of a comment Mistress Linda proposed the idea that men should not be allowed to vote.

Her comment is toward the bottom of the last posting, Back to Basics, Conclusion.

It might be fun I thought to take a survey. How many of you agree with Mistress Linda?


Love, Kathy