Thank all of you for sharing those personal stories of being slapped.
What I suspect is that for most men the humiliation which accompanies a public slap may be worst than the related physical pain. Yet, on another level, the humiliation may also trigger a reaction that leads to a higher level of submission. In our conversations over the years John has told me that he had often fantasized about being dominated. It was these fantasies that led him to seek out Tara in the first place. However, the realty of having a mistress made him want female dominance all the more.
It became a never ending cycle of repeat visits that cost him more and more money. In some ways he was ashamed, but he could not resist the appeal of having a real mistress in his life.
In his comment John Dalton shares the story of the very first time a woman gave him a public slap. It was humiliating he tells us, but I wonder if the reality created a need for more female dominance in his life? That is something only he can answer. What I do know is that the need of men for female control is real. What the typical stories get so wrong is that female leadership in the home is an act of love and caring. It is about giving. It is about nurturing. It is about all of the things that come naturally to us. The whip and chain stories have it all wrong.
Think about it,
Love, Kathy
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7 comments:
Dear Kathy - I can related to what you said in today's posting - "The need of men for female control is real." When my husband first approached me about a Wife Led Marriage I thought it was just a kink for him. But as I dipped my toes in the waters of female dominance I noticed that it was much more than a kink... it was truly who he was and what he needed to be truly happy and fulfilled. Little did I know, however, how much I would come to embrace female empowerment as well - I never thought I had it in me, but I do! And it is much more than him doing all the household chores that I used to do and my holding him accountable. It is about both of us finding our hidden selves, and also about rediscovering and reinforcing our love for one another.
I hope you had a nice Easter. It certainly was different not attending Easter morning Mass for the first time in our lives.
Sincerely,
Diane
Dating in my 20's I wanted a strong woman, one who would take charge. I purchased spanking magazines, mostly F/m and when dating was slow, came in handy. The woman i ended up marrying found them, I did not know until visiting her place for the weekend. To make it short Saturday morning, she said I found your magazines, and I'm going to see how you like being spanked. I smiled, was soon over her lap, but when she finished I was a mess. It hurts I said rubbing, so you don't like a spanking, No, I said. Too bad she said it is what you need, and then while still rubbing left the room returned with a large bath brush. Going to do as told and improve your behavior she said, Yes, very much so. She applied the bath brush and to this day, when I'm getting a spanking, the whole world can hear.
Dear Ms. Kathy
Thank You and Ms. Diane for Your blog on Monday and Ms. Diane's comments. The ability to talk openly and honestly is the key to the balance in any relationship. Finding that "inner self" to take control of a loved one is an amazing gift You have both given Your husbands. i know it must take a lot of energy initially, but when You find that wonderful niche that just finally fits for You, life gets so much better. At least it has for my wife and myself. Thank You for reminding me about that gift she has given and we have enjoyed for years now.
Sincerely,
larry
Kathy, I have never left a comment even though I have been a faithful reader for years. Your columns are a breath of fresh air in a Wife Led Marriage world that is often filled with fantasy. Much like Diane I think my wife was hesitant to become dominate with me. She kept it at arms length for years. Suddenly over the past few months she has become impowered. Suddenly everything in my life has changed. She has really made me respect her authority over the last few months. For years I have copied your columns and left them for her to read. So, I just wanted to thank you for helping my wife find her "hidden self". Take care and stay safe- Alan
Hello Kathy; I hope you are doing well.
The face slapping event in my life certainly fueled my desires for female dominance but it was not the source. I was a arrogant young man at the time always looking for that powerful woman to challenge and pursue. I had no idea I would spend a lifetime trying to find a woman of real power and confidence that I could respect ,love, serve and fulfill my desires of submission . Unlike many of your readers , my desires were never really founded in role play and kink . I wanted the real, trusting and powerfully deep relationship that I believe can only be found with Dominance and submission.
Thank you for taking the time to comment , I always enjoys your posts ! P
Take care
John Dalton
This comment is especially for Mistress Diane, I want to thank you for sharing your story with us,
With regards
Tiptease
Like many submissive husbands, I had to shed the idea that a WLM was an indulgence of male fantasies. Once I was able to do that, I discovered what I responded to was the expression of female authority by my wife. Not only that, it didn’t matter how she expressed it: Whether she was soft and sweet, moderate, or no-nonsense. I wanted — needed — to serve. Once I was in that place, I never required much discipline because I truly wanted her approval. She had definite expectations and ongoing incentives and penalties, but that seemed to do the trick. And in turned out that with the male ego curbed, love flourished.
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