At the moment I am not really in the blogging mode so there shouldn't be anything posted for a while.
There is a cute story from the summer that I would like to share with you. It was morning when our neighbor Carol was over for coffee. It was a little bit of an extended coffee time because she had been waiting to say hello to Becky. At least once during the summer months Becky likes to visit without her husband. It gives us a special time to share stories, reconnect, and remain in touch with the grand children. It took Becky quite a while to come down because she had been busy bathing the kids. For those of you who don't have grand children these baths can take forever. They love to play with the boats and all of the little bath toys. It is hard to get them out.
When Becky finally came down there was the usual hello and hug and so nice to see you type thing.
The three of us started chatting about how everyone was going. It took Becky a few minutes to notice her daddy folding clothes in the nearby laundry room. Aside from the folding he was also listening in on the girl talk. Listening to girl talk is something many men love to do. Being close by also provides him the opportunity to act as our little coffee server. And, as a mistress wife I have learned to appreciate the convenience of having a serving man in the home. There is nothing difficult about getting your own coffee or scrambling eggs, but it is such a nice luxury to have a man there to do it for you. Those of you ladies who live with a well trained submissive husband know what I am talking about. Why it is that so many women resist the love of sweet well intentioned submissive men I have no idea. Women seem to treat submissiveness in men as a condition similar to leprosy.
As John was delivering Becky's coffee I casually asked if she had seen the new washing machine.
No, she said while peaking into the laundry room for a quick look see. 'That looks really nice' Becky responded. And then there was the added response. 'That reminds me, daddy, we already have wash to do. When you are ready the baskets are in the closets." It was not a request for John to do the laundry as it was a simple straight forward directive. She went on to say that the way David does her work blouses is to dry them until they are just a little dam, and then pass a cool iron over them. They come out so nice that way she told John. Listening in I couldn't help but wonder what Carol thought of this father daughter conversation. Not too many daughters have the pluck to tell their fathers to do laundry and then tell them how the ironing is to be done. In the past Becky has used words like would you mind doing this or that, but this was a clear directive that allowed no choice on John's part.
Thinking back on the moment in the wash room I was surprised that Becky used 'that mistress' type of language in front of Carol, but then I thought about it a little more. Mistress wives become so accustomed to simply telling their men what to do that is seems so normal. The truth is that we don't even think about directing instead of asking. What I suspect is many of you have been publicly outed simply by the way your wives speak to you in front of other people. It is not something we mean to do. It is something that comes out naturally when living with a submissive man. Within the last few years Becky has matured both as a woman, a wife and as a mistress. One of biggest pleasures in life has been in watching her grow into the self confident person she has become.
It might be interesting to share a real life story from a few years ago. John and I were on a cruise.
It was one of those large boats with crowds of people all over the place. It was fun in a way, but the big boats are not really my thing. It was really crowded but we managed to find one of the last tables
in the bar area. After a little while another couple approached our table. The wife asked me directly if they could join us. Of course you can as we would love to have company, I responded. It struck me as a little strange in that the table question was put directly to me as if john's wishes were of no importance. Because it was happy hour and the bar was jammed packed it was impossible to get the attention of a waitress. After a littlie while she instructed her husband go to the bar and get her a drink. There was something about the way she said it that caught my attention. Yes, of course, I realized she was using that mistress language. It is not mean but it is spoken with a certain type of firmness. In a way it was the same type of wording and tone of voice that Becky used on Carol's visit.
As the gentlemen was getting up from the table she asked if John and I would be ready for another cocktail. That sounded good, I responded. And then I fell head over heels into using the mistress language myself. 'I'll send my husband to help', I told her. Thank you, but her husband could handle it she told me. 'He can't carry four drinks', I further responded. 'He's not allowed to drink' she told me. The assumption on my part was there was a medical issue of some type. Sometime later in the trip we again ran into this same couple. This time he was holding a cocktail. So nice to see you are doing better, I said while pointing toward the cocktail in his hand. 'Yes, today he has been given permission to drink' she responded with a cheery smile. At that moment I instantly understood that the permissions came from her rather than the doctor. Yes, I realized this lady is a mistress to that man. And, of course, when the four of us are together it is the women who are doing almost all of the talking. As a friend once told me submissive men have a way of just siting there looking pretty. This in fact was what the two men were doing. They were sweet and attentive, but they were also the followers in the conversation. They were the listeners rather than the talkers.
In our home the five o'clock cocktail is not a right of passage, but something for John to earn each and every day. In our home the five o'clock cocktail is what some people might call positive reinforcement. In other words be a good 'boy' for me today and get your reward. If you grumble or display a bad attitude that late day celebration of levity may very well be taken away. In her home Becky uses computer play time as positive reinforcement. At any time Becky can see all of the sites her husband visits during the week. It still amazes me that wives give their men so much free time on the computer. My advice to any young wife is to closely monitor her husbands use of the computer, I-Pods, and cell phone.
In today's world men have far too much freedom on their hands. They have far too many ways to get into trouble. So often I hear, 'but I want to trust him". Yes, trust is good, but trust also comes with a certain amount of monitoring. In a femdom relationship a husband needs to understand that he is no longer a free man. Being subject to a woman's a authority is a blessing for many men, but it is a blessing that comes with a challenge. Unless a woman is willing to discipline her man the challenge of living as a servant to a dominant mistress can be most difficult. This is why many femdom relationships fall apart. A woman needs to let her man know in no uncertain terms that she is the boss.
This is one of the things that Becky is so good at. Most of the time she will not need to use it, but her husband fully understands that she is the one who holds the whip. And, he likes it that way. On a couple of occasions I have tried to compliment her for this. Well mom she responded who do you think I learned it from.
Love you all for reading. Love you more for sharing. Think about the good things in life.
Think about all of the ways that your wife shows love to you. Tonight, tell her that you love her.
Tell her that she owns your heart hook, line, and sinker and then give her a big kiss. The truth is that most women would rather have a sweet kiss from their man then a foot massage.
Kathy
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14 comments:
oh mam
Dear Mrs Kathy,
Thank you so much for this lovely post. For me its so much fun to read about what femdom means in your day to day live. The kinky details we can find on the net, but your posts reflect the true D/s or femdom relation.
Thank you again and I love you for it
Tiptease
Perhaps a set of little, decorative handbells is in order. Three should be enough.
- In Boston
It must have been quite an interesting experience to randomly bump into another femdom couple on that vacation cruise. You never know how and when the truth comes out. It reminds me one time of a random party hosted by our apartment complex and they had hired a carciturist artist to draw pictures of people. When our turn came up, he drew my wife far taller than me even though she is actually five inches shorter because he could somehow tell without knowing anything about us that she was the boss.
Joel
You're keen on flowers. Love all of the flowers of nature.
Dear Ms. Kathy,
It is interesting that the other woman developed "mistress language". Perhaps doing what works leads to similar techniques/outcomes.
This may have been a glimpse as to what Femdom society may become. Clearly the two husbands had Second Sex status. Or perhaps I should say Subordinate Sex?
Tim
Your remarks about "mistress language" are interesting. A few months ago I happened to meet a woman I know slightly but had not seen for year or so. I asked her how things were going and she said the company her husband worked for had gone out of business and he was now unemployed. She said it was not such a big deal, she is self-employed and earns fairly well, so she is able to support them both. She said in some ways it is quite useful that he is not going out to work, it means he can do the housework and the cooking while she is working.
I was on my way back from a medical checkup and I asked if her husband also had regular checkups. She said "Oh yes, I send him to the doctor once per year for a thorough health check." Not "He goes to the doctor" but "I send him to the doctor". I had noticed before that she is fairly dominant by nature, this just confirmed it. I don't know if she spanks her husband, ties him up, keeps him in chastity etc., but she certainly wears the pants in their relationship.
Stewart.
I am a submissive male, married for many years to a wonderful woman. I appreciate the comment about him being around for the girl talk and being ready to respond to whatever need may come up. I do the cooking and shopping and cleaning. She expects that each night i will prepare a meal that she like and serve it each evening. My own food preferences are often different than hersbut that is of no importance. When we have guests it is the same and she happily chats with friends about how nice it is to have someone take care of these things. Perhpas her "Mistress talk" is not always as clear as is described in the blog but there is no doubt that our friends know that that she is in charge of things. She has had me grow my hair long to soften my appearance, I have not had a pair of boxers in decades - always bikini style undrwear. She tells her friends that she loves taking me for mani-pedis and how we typically get toenail polish color to match. Naturally I am to wear open toed sandlas when weather permits. My daugher-in-law compliments me on the color as I wash the dishes at her house and mind hte baby. In my work I have alwyas worked for women bosses. My earnings always go to bank accounts that are in my wife's name. For the most part we live a normal everyday life but one in which I defer to her wishes. accept her instructions. She comments often about how men are simply not as strong or caring or considerate or capable as women and I truly agree. Morning coffee and Monday wash sounds fine. .
My wife is very subtle in her control of me, she took over control and had me doing the housework and waiting on her before i knew it. Others have noticed i am sure, she sometimes does that in charge talking. i have also noticed that a lot of women can tell i am submissive just by talking to me for a bit, i don't know why i say to have them figure it out but they do..
thanks for your blog
Hello Mrs. Kathy
My comment is slightly off the topic of this posting but am curious to your thoughts. The 100 year anniversary of the 19th amendment is upon us. Also off year elections are nearing. There are more women running for office then ever before. There is lots to do in running a campaign. Men should find a woman candidate of his wifes choosing and provide labor for her campaign. This will further minimize his free time, another opportunity to obey his wife while increasing the power of women in society. What do you think about always voting for a woman over a man and should a husband vote for who his wife chooses?
During adulthood my experience with female authority has been in relation to female supervisors at work. Perhaps Femdom will adopt the tone of this? In this, the world of work does offer a real life example of female authority.
Tim
Dear Mrs. Kathy
I just want to let you know that your stories are highly appreciated and I sincerely hope that you are back in the blogging mode.
I miss you very much
Dear Mistress Kathy,
I'd like to add my two cents worth to tiptease's note. Are you going to come back to us? We do miss you very much.
Mrs. Kathy,
I've been thinking about this post a lot since I first read it. Wne Becky tells John to do her laundry, it seems so powerful. But at the same time, I was troubled by the father/daughter aspect of it.
But then I thought, how many young men return home, perhaps over a holiday, and have their mothers do their laundry? If that's OK, why wouldn't this? And then I thought some more, about how mothers in Saudi Arabia are under the authority of their sons. While none of us would agree with that, the world tolerates it. Is what you're describing so much different?
So much here depends on the intent. Is being submissive primiarly a sexual thing, or is it something different, it's own thing, that plays out in different areas of life, including sexuality? If a man in a Wife Led Marriage does the dishes every night, is it a sexual thing? Or is it just submission? If a man is given an allowance and required to account for his purchases, is that sexual?
For me the need to live that way seems very deep and fundamental to who I am, and it seems to affect everything I do, and the relationships I have with women in general. And it's not like my whole world is sexual. If anything, I'm undersexed compared to most men.
But this story, along with the time where Becky gave John $20 to eat with, so he wouldn't have to dip into his allowance when he acted as her driver, were both very powerful for me. Not because it's a father/daugher thing, but because it's really his relationship to all of the women in his life, or at least with as many as its possible to be open with.
Because I think that's what some of us need, to have that submissive relationship with women in general.
Thank you,
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