To My Pizza Author

This is just a quick posting to personally thank you for the well thought out comment.

When the blog was first started back in 2008 I wanted it to be a place for honest discussion about a very sensitive topic. I wanted it to be a safe place for all readers to share honest thoughts without attacking other readers. You, my baby, have struck a special chord with me. Your honesty is more than just refreshing. If gives me cause for self reflection. It gives me cause to look at the way I live with my husband on a day to day basis.

At the initial stage there was self doubts about becoming John's mistress. There was never a doubt in my mind that John needed a life partner whom could be both his wife and mistress. The doubt was alone the lines if I could be that person. And yes, over the years I have learned to be that person. I have learned to like being John's mistress. The personal freedom is a part of it. Yet, what sometimes gives me a guilty conscious is that I have learned to like being in control of another person. In my personal  life I have learned to be more confident in dealing with men. It is not that I want to become their mistress, it is more that I have learned how to deal with them.

One of my personal discoveries is that many so called normal men have something of a submissive side to their personality. If you know how to talk with them you can bring that side out. A smart women understands how to get her way with men. I also believe that many so called normal men have a need for female control that they have learned to suppress. In a sense I can't help wonder if you, my little pizza guy, might be one of these men? I don't know but you and my John are close to the same age.  My John tried to hide his submissive side for a long time. His paid mistress had the know how to develop that submissive side. Instead of role playing she taught him that there was nothing wrong with being a submissive man. She listened to his story. She counseled with him.
She made him one of her houseboys. John paid money for the privilege of cleaning her toilets.
But, she also helped him to more fully understand himself.

If you ask almost any women if she would like to be in a relationship with a submissive man the answer will almost always be negative. If you rephrase the question to something like would you want to be in a relationship with a man who loves you, who wants to please you, and make you the center of his life; the answer may often be quite different. In some ways reading your comment made me feel a little sad for you. If, way back then the rite women had taken you by the hand would your life have turned out differently. Could the rite woman have made you into her submissive? With time and with development of your submissive side could she even have made you into something of her sub husband or even slave? These are questions in which you know the answer to better than me. Then, upon reflection, I wonder if you really do know the answer to these questions.

By the reference to earlier postings you are obviously one my long term readers. And, by the fact that you remember what I said way back when tells me that you are interested in reading femdom material. This is not a criticism as much as it is a hint that maybe you are repressing your submissive nature. If so, I am especially happy that you found the courage to give me your prospective. Yes, I do believe that femdom is a healthy lifestyle choice for many couples. Having said that we are not into what many people call the scene. Except for a few friends from Tara days and family know one knows about the way we live our lives. Carol may guess that John is little henpecked, but she has no idea that he is trained to fall to his knees at the snap of my fingers.

And yes, I do remember the postings from way back when. This gentlemen and I went out several times. In the beginning it wasn't supposed to be a date, but for one reason or the other several coworkers cancelled out at the last minute. That left him and I alone together on a beautiful spring evening. Instead of going to the more formal restaurant my company had booked, we went to one of my little favorites in the quarter. It was one of those special paces where you hear the music playing and the conversation flows from table to table. Walking back to the hotel that evening we came to a busy street. He used that as pretext to take my hand in his. And yes, after all of these years with one man, I enjoyed it. What I don't remember is saying that John was angry. What didn't come out in the blog was that we actually spent a night together. Not only did John know about it, but he packed my overnight bag. I also had him pick me up the next day from the hotel. What John didn't know was that I had made the decision not to see this man again.

The drive back to the house that day was in complete silence. In some ways I wanted John to be angry, but he was only hurt. In a sense I added insult to injury. One of the items I had him pack was my pleated skirt. It was this lovely pleated skirt that had caused him so much consternation. With instruction he had finally learned how to properly iron it. In return I was wearing it for another man.
When we arrived back at the house I had him carry the bag in, unpack it, clean my heels, and  wash the contents. It was important for him to know that I considered myself a free woman even thought every detail of his life was managed. What of course he didn't know back then was that he remained the love of my live, and making him into a cockled  husband was not something that I wanted. It was not the image I had of my self.  After all, I was still my mother's daughter. What would she have thought.

And, so thank you my sweetie for sharing. Thank you for finding the courage to come out of the lurkers closet. And, for all of you who are reading this post please take a moment to thank Pizza Man for sharing his well thought out comment. One of the things we can all acknowledge is that femdom is not for everyone.

Love, Kathy