Punishment

For the most part I continue to look at life from the center of my little bubble. There are things that I get wrong and every so often there is something that I get right. Like everyone else I look at life's challenges from a certain prospective. For the most part I try not to be overly preachy, but living with a submissive husband tends to put the whip in my hand. It is not that I use a real whip, it is just that some men expect you to give them their marching orders. After a while it all seems so very normal that it tends to color all of your relationships and the way in which you do things.

It is time to talk about punishment. Too many marriages fail because the wife neglects her duties in this area. It is difficult to be more clear about this. A part of the duty of being a loving spouse in a femdom marriage is the obligation of punishment.  Punishment should not be gratuitous. It should only be handed out when there is reason for doing so. Without punishment there is a general lack of accountability for the husband. If there were no report card given in school would students strive for the best grades. Probably not. The lack of accountability in a relationships breeds mediocrity.

If there are no consequences why should a man try his hardest to please his mistress. If average effort is enough to get him by that is all he will do. But, if he observes mistress reaching for the whip you can be sure that he will take heed. Once again I use the whip word in kind of a symbolic way. It is importance for the male to understand what it is you expect from him. Of course we all want love and respect. Yet, femdom goes beyond that. From John I want obedience and a certain degree of service.
If I am going to take the lead in our marriage he is going to be the follower. He is the one who will be mopping floors and scrubbing toilets. He is the one who will be taking the orders. And, orders are orders not suggestions.

As mentioned on the Think Tank blog punishment is a difficult area for most women. The idea of punishing a grown man whom you love seems to go against the laws of nature. Yet, whether we realize it or not, we have all punished men at some time in our lives. The most common method is the silent treatment. How many of you have received this from of punishment  from the lady in your life.
She decides how long it will last, and it will usually last until you make amends. As a young teenager I understood the power of the silent treatment and used it on my dates. If a guy caused me to be upset for any reason it was a way of handling the situation. Weather I realized it or not the silent treatment was a way for me to exercise some control over the boy. Along with the silent treatment there was no good night hug and kiss.

As we grow into adult hood we continue to use the silent treatment along with denying the good night hugs and kisses to our guys. Does it still work. Yes, it does to a point. Yet, as a mistress there is the need for more direct control over the situation. There is a need for a firm way of letting your guy know  you are in charge of the situation and that his behavior is not acceptable. For a start you can tell him. On small matters the look on your face may be sufficient to send the signal. This is especially good in public situations where a verbal remark is out of place or embarrassing.

Once John and I were at a neighborhood party where his attentions to an attractive young lady gave me some concern. Pulling him to the side, 'you are going home' I told him. 'Why', he asked.
You know why I told him, but we will talk about it at home. And, give me the keys to the car. 'How will I get home' he asked. 'Walking', I responded. And, don't you dare call a cab, I told him.
'Do you understand me', I asked in a low tone of voice. He responded with a 'yes'. 'Yes what', I responded. 'Yes mistress' he answered with a slight bow of his head.

After John left I remained at the party for another hour or so until it ended. The party  was no longer fun, but I was not going to relinquish the high ground gained when sending John home. Although a neighborhood party it still took John most of an hour to walk the distance back to the house. It was my hope that the long walk with serve as a king of punishment. What I came to understand later was that the real punishment was the look on my face combined with the realization that he had disappointed me.

Why did this punishment work. It worked for two reasons. In that moment I had the confidence to act on his behavior. I was assertive. Pulling him aside and looking directly into his eye told him that I meant business. Very few men have the ability to resist authority from an assertive, confident woman. And, at that moment I had both of these assets working for me.

For some of you in the lifestyle this little punishment may have seemed mild. Yet, what I have come to realize was that John's acceptance of this punishment was an a act  of surrender. With those two words, yes mistress, he verbally yielded the traditional male role model. To put it another way his acceptance of punishment was a clear act of surrender to my will.

Love you all for reading and for sharing. Is this a topic in which we want to spend more time.
What I would like to know more about is how you feel when your wife or girlfriend punishes you.
How did you feel the first time she did so. As a grown man would you willingly accept punishment by a woman in your life?