My Thoughts On A Lovely Monday Morning

Thank all of you for the recent comments.

It has been some time since my last posting. For some reason I have just not been into the blog.
I am not quite sure the why of it. Part of the reason is the realization that the 'me too' movement, and the rapid social change associated with it have passed me by. In today's world blogging about social change should be done by younger women who are active in the work force. It is these younger women who are changing society in ways that women of my generation can only wonder about.

The recent comment by Richard s caused me to smile. In the comment Richard says that he began to tell others that he is a submissive husband and that his wife is his mistress. And, as he reports the reaction of people has been positive. In much the same way John has become more open about our relationship. This started with his retirement last year, and has been building up ever since. Even the friend he plays golf with most often now know that he is submissive. The reaction has been positive, even encouraging.

The conversation on the golf course started with an innocent question. John and his friend normally play twice a week. Others are usually included, but John and this one friend almost always play together. It seems that the club had scheduled a special tournament. John's friend asked if he would like to play in it. John's response was that he would need to ask my permission as he was generally allowed to play only twice a week. That remark kind of let the cat out of the bag. When his friend didn't laugh or criticize, John went to say that I was both his wife and his mistress. John's friend immediately understood the meaning of the mistress word, and gave John a reassuring response.

John's friend went on to say that he understood, and between them wished that his wife was more of a mistress. Before John could think of a response his friend indicated he had read several books on female led marriages. And, in a minute or two they were talking together about books they have read on the subject The conversation was something of a spiritual release for both men. As John tells me they were not talking about sex. They were simply two older men talking about the ways in which men were dependent on the women in their lives. They talked about the idea of service and for a moment on two they touched on the concept of female authority in the home without really calling it that. The other gentlemen made a confession to John that totally surprised him. Way back, when they were married, his wife took a vow of obedience as it was what their church expected. He wished, however, that it had been the other  way around with him taking the vow instead of his wife.

There is often a matter of degree with some men being more submissive than others, but in a general way the need of men for female control is much more common than most people with assume. And, what I am now realizing is that this ever present need for female control as well as assurance extends to the work place. There is a need in society for transformative women. By this I mean women who have the desire, the power, and the intelligence to transform the work place into a more productive and  healthy environment.

In the 1980s and 1990s successful women in the work place had to learn to emulate male clothing, and to a large extent act like men. In today's work environment Becky tells me there is nothing wrong with dressing like a woman, and acting like a woman. In her place of employment female ways of doing things are respected. There is more collaboration between employees. Even the local manager gets her own coffee in the morning and fixes it the way she likes. There are no more secretaries, as such, doing their bosses bidding. To use an old fashion expression the bottom line is that femininity is both accepted and respected.

And, it you think this new kind of work force would be hostile to men you would be wrong. Becky tells me there are  men in their group. They are not excluded. Their ideas are welcome, she tells me. The women, who are mostly in charge, welcome the ideas that come from the guys. They want 'inclusion'. If anything, 'inclusion' has become the buzz word in their work groups. How do the men like working with women and for women I asked her. 'For the most part they seem to be fine with it', she responded. In her group there is more emphasis on the 'working with' than the 'working for' she tells me. In problem solving everyone's ideas are valued.

In the old days men and women would generally take their work breaks and lunches separately. Not any longer Becky tells me. Lunch is seen as a time not only  to relax, but also talk about work issues  in a more casual environment.. And, at the end of the day most people will stay and finish what they are doing before leaving the office. The prompt five o'clock exit is a thing of past she tells me. Coming form my background this is hard to believe, but the world is changing. In today's world there is more of a blend between  work and and individual's personal life. And yes, there are emails on weekends and on vacations. A negative Becky tells me is that even on vacation she is never truly away from her job.

The job, the career, or whatever you want to call it has become part of  Becky's identity as a person.
At the same time she thinks of herself as a mother, a wife, and as a mistress.

Love, Kathy