The Notebook...

In some ways it is easier to talk about Becky's marriage than my own. The relationship she has with David is so dynamic. They are only a few years into a FLM and things continue to develop between them. This is not to say that John and I are completely 'over the hill', but is some ways we are plateauing. Prior to accepting the femdom lifestyle both of us had a tutorial in the form of a real life dominatrix experience.

As a houseboy in Tara's studio John lived the life of a slave. He worked in Tara's studio for free. He painted for her, he cleaned toilets, pulled weeds from her garden, moped floors and ironed clothes. Whatever she needed done he was there for her. If a mistress needed a car repair it was often his job to bring it to the garage and wait. It was real work, not play work. Once, when he didn't do a proper job of cleaning the toilet Tara pushed his head into the bowl and flushed. For me the question was why did he take this type of abuse. Why, I wondered with a strong, healthy well built man let this little women push him around. Why weren't there times when he could have resisted.

When that question was first presented to John there was no answer. 'Did you want to have your head pushed into the toilet', I once asked. The answer came slowly, but  there was eventually a negative.
There never was an answer to the most pressing question of all, why did you let her do those nasty things to you. It wasn't until much later that I began to understand the reason for John's powerlessness in the face of this women. By that time the answer was simple as it was right in front of me. In every way possible, except legally, John was a slave and she was his owner. Though physically weaker John  feared her. He not only respected her authority as his owner, but he feared displeasing her in any way. And, he feared her punishments. She had the power to banish him from the studio.

A more difficult question involved asking if  he had ever developed feelings for Tara. The lack of  a verbal answer told me more than I wanted to  know. It was a couple of years later that he acknowledged feeling for Tara as well as a young black lady who worked for her. On my work visits to the studio I became friends with this young lady. Never did I suspect; never did she tell me that John had spent days and nights in her apartment. She and her roommate, college students, treated John as their house boy. He served drinks at parties and did the clean up afterward. What I tell any woman who has a husband who travels for business is to make sure you know what type of business your guy is on.

For a long time I couldn't talk about these experiences. The hurt to too clear. The feeling were too raw. Now, looking on Becky and David in a loving relationship I understand what John and I have for so long missed. David maybe Becky's slave and people will find fault with this concept. However, he is the slave of the woman who loves him, and of the woman whom he loves. He is in everyway the perfect version of the surrendered husband. Can any of you not find romance in this? In my opinion this is femdom marriage the way God intended it.


Love, Kathy