Through the years of doing the blog there have been a number of ups and downs. One of the things I never dreamed with happen is some one taking my story, and turning it into a femdom type of novel.
I have not purchased the book, but have read the free preview as provided on Kindle. Some parts of this book appear to have been taken word for word from the blog. While John has been changed to Jack the person doing the plagiarism didn't even bother to change the names of my daughter, her husband or Tara. I am in process of consulting an attorney. In the mean time I thought it better to remove all material from the blog.
Love you all for reading. Love you for sharing. If anyone has any specific information please share it with me.
Love, Kathy
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35 comments:
While not quite the same thing, a few years ago I had a different blog, and when I decided to take it down, I made the mistake of closing the Blogger account, meaning that blog name was then made available for someone else to use. Someone then used that name and used an internet archive to recover many of my old postings. They then started posting hard-core porn under my blog's old address, mixing it with some of my own posts. I was unbelievably angry, but there wasn't much I could do about it without "outing" myself in the process.
I'm very sorry you are having to go through this. Good luck, and I hope your attorney is able to put a stop to it.
Oh Kathy. I am so very sorry to hear of this development. Someone stealing your words is a disgrace. I am so sorry that you have to deal with this. I do hope you are able to pursue legal action against the plagiarist. I am also so sorry for the submissive men, like myself, and empowered women, like my wife, who have learned so much and have been so inspired by your story - the love story of the love of you and your husband. I know that you are in the midst of a crisis right now, but please know how many of your readers love you and will be keeping you in our thoughts and prayers.
Sincerely,
Vic and Cathy
You can't believe this book. It is all my words stolen by someone else. I will not mention the name of the book because I don't want to give it any publicity. One of our readers discovered it and alerted me. Yes, it is my story, my life, stolen by some one else. It is hurtful in a strange way. It is like someone took grabbed my baby and ran off with her, or like a bad dream that turns out to be real.
Love,Kathy
Kathy, I do think you should reconsider revealing the name of the book, so readers of your blog can call out the author on Amazon
i told you about it i bought the kindle book and returned for a refund
amazon gives you 7 days to get a refund , please dont put this commet up,
they must have been saving your blog entries even the one you took down . i read the whole book and you should to because you will have a good case. for geting justice
because they talked about you, when you let tara put you in the dog kennel ... .
that was the main resaon i told you about the book i was suprised you would put that in the book and turned out i was right you did not do it. i also told.. i am hers because they name his blog and he told me .he did not think you would right it. i feel bad for you you can call amzion and tell them about this . they even have site and twiter with name that is selling your book my femdom life.wordpress.com
Please get a good attorney. Also ask them if they can provide your daughter with a good referral as well.
Ms Kathy I am shocked and deeply saddened to learn of this. I am SO sorry. It is utterly outrageous, who could do this? Why?
Please accept my sincere sympathy and I'm sure I speak for everyone who follows your blog when I offer any assistance that you may need in this matter, just ask.
Finally I pray you won't cease to post although I fully understand should you choose that course, if so, I will miss you desperately, thank you for your writing over the years. I have always remained silent, how sad this should be my first comment. Take care for the future whatever you decide and thank you for your input into my life.
For Time Day, yes sweetie, you were the one who told me about the book. One of the reasons I deleted the earlier parts of the blog was for privacy. The other reason is that I am a very different person now than I was when John first came home. This is part of the reason the blog drifted back to what we did back then. Working in the studio I was more of a dominatrix. The use of a kennel, having him eat a piece of paper were the types of things we did in the studio. Over time I changed, I learned other ways of living with the man I love. Back then I didn't really understand the concept of loving female authority. And, in a lot of way my heart was still filled with a certain meanness. It took me several years to understand the difference between being a mistress wife, one who leads a man with firmness and love; as opposed to the one who is constantly resorting to punishment. This is the general direction of the blog, and part of the reason for going back in time to when our femdom relationship first started.
Love, Kathy
looks like amazion took the kindel book down that stole your stuff. great news hope this will bring you some peace have a great day
Mistress Kathy
The Mistress/Wife and i are so sorry this has happened. After you calm down, we hope you will return to your blog which has meant so much to so many
jj
For Time Day, Thank you for letting me know.
Love, Kathy
i am glad you got some justice take care time day
You'll have to identify yourself and register the blog with the copyright office as a literary work in order to start a federal copyright infringement lawsuit.
You will be subject to cross-examination in depositions and in court, as will your husband and daughter, and her husband. You can expect the attorney to focus heavily on things like making your husband eat paper to inflame the jury's passions against you. You can also expect a jury of people who are generally horrified by the subject of the blog and who will consider much of what you describe to be mean-spirited and intentionally cruel. You will not be playing to the same echo chamber of commenters you see on the blog. You may well be villified.
Good luck.
Things are not quite as "deletable" from the Internet as you might think.
You said: "And, in a lot of way my heart was still filled with a certain meanness." Your meanness is still available for those who are interested:
I just got this:
Is there a gentler type of femdom
Someone recently asked the question is there a gentler, more loving type of femdom than what John and I have experienced. There is definitely a gentler type. The use of the kennel is not for everyone, but it sure does draw a sharp separation between who is the mistress and who is the slave. When John came home it was important for me to show him that I was the equal of Tara in demanding his total and complete obedience. From time to time Tara had put him into the kennel. In the studio the kennel was a common way to get men out of the way when you didn't want them hanging around. The fact that both of us were use to the kennel made it easier to implement it's use in our home. When a man locks him self inside the kennel, there is no uncertainty in his mind about who is in charge. It may sound mean, but men really need to understand that the wife is truly in control of their life. For that purpose it is a useful tool.
In the beginning it was important to show John that I was the equal of Tara. It was important to show him that he was going to be my slave and that he would have very little personal freedom. As time went on I learned the importance of trusting the man whom I had fallen in love with. I also learned that it was important to live with him as a husband as well as a slave. In the beginning my judgment was clouded by the hurt, by the knowledge that he had relationships as well as feelings for other women. For a time it also made me feel inadequate as a wife. When the wounds began the heel I began to share my story. There were others, especially women, who needed to read it. And, working in the environment of the studio the strange things we did with men became to be as seem so normal-kennel, leashing, crawling, etc.
Did doing these things make me into an evil person? Does having a man wear a locking device make a wife into a monster, or what about putting him over the knee for a spanking? Kathy
The point is not what does or does not make you a monster. In all cases for me, the question is whether it was something he submitted to AND actually wanted (even if he didn't "like" it in the moment). If the man was made very unhappy or depressed by any of those actions, or if he were harmed physically or emotionally, to me that would make you a monster.
I share some of John's desires and have frequented many places like the studio you describe. The only two things I've read that seemed particularly dark-hearted were: 1) making him eat magazine pages (which seems dangerous, especially if the inks are toxic), and 2) making him wear a yellow ribbon in public all day. I don't have a sense for how severe your corporal punishment practices are. I only know that you indicated a willingness to use that old Russian whip on him, despite never having actually done so.
That being said, if you initiate legal action, all of these actions by you will be framed to put you in the worst possible light so that the jury could not possibly care about the infringement of your copyright and so they would never award you a dime. In addition, the defense will make it as painful as possible for you to endure the discovery process. Your lawyer will have to aggressively resist that, which means a judge will have to resolve discovery disputes. It also means it will get expensive.
Imagine an interrogatory (a written question posed to you in discovery) that states: "IDENTIFY the number of occasions on which you forced your husband to consume magazine pages, including the circumstances that led you to do this, your husband's physical and/or emotional reactions to being forced to do so, and the manner, if any, in which you described these incidents in the FEMDOM101 blog."
Now, your attorney says most of this is irrelevant and refuses to answer. The defendant's attorney files a motion to compel a response. Then, the attorneys are in front of a federal judge or magistrate arguing why your forcing our husband to eat magazine pages is relevant. The proceedings are transcribed by a court reporter.
At every turn, the defense will use the discovery process as a hammer to force you to drop your case because of the way you will be portrayed.
That's a typical federal court litigation scenario for one question in a set of interrogatories. Imagine 8 hours of deposition or a couple of days on a witness stand where questions are asked this way.
These are all things to consider before you try to sue somebody.
Kathy
Thank you fair sharing your thoughtful blog for so long. I am sorry for the violation and hope there is some justice soon.
I was commenting to my wife that I read a very insightful explanation regarding the evolution of women's rights and changing gender roles at the same time a very different tolerance regarding men and previously stereotypical female roles. It really resonated. I would love to read it and share it with her if you felt comfortable sharing, considering all that you have recently been through.
Thanks regardless,
Ty
For Ty, Yes of course you may share anything you read here with your wife.
Love, Kathy
Tara referred to her establishment as a studio, not a dungeon.
She thought of herself and her girls as types of artists who drew upon the male imagination and their need for exotic methods of female control. For her physical punishment meant very little unless it was what a certain client was willing to pay for. One of her tricks was to get a man naked, have him crawl on all fours, and then ask him about his wife. 'What would your wife think if she saw her big strong man like this' she would ask him. Questions like this would make a man cringe. She knew how to bring the vanilla world into his fantasy play land to make the experience real. 'What if I should tell her' she might ask. Of curse she would not, but she could have a fifty year old executive begging at her, and the begging would be real not play. She understood how to manipulate the male mind. She know how to draw on it, to make the fantasy session seem real to him. And, the more real the session was, the more the men wanted to come back. Although angry with John, I also understood the power this woman had over him. The power, the authority was real.
He was hooked. Love, Kathy
Hi Kathy. I think it was your last post before you took down the rest of it. I don't currently have it. I think the subject was a response to "loss of love" or something to that nature.
Thanks very much!
Ty
Kathy. Perhaps the thing to do is to repost your blog entries so that it removes the need for anyone to purchase the book. Whoever created the book is benefitting from your removing your own blog from view. Just a thought.
There should be no need to copy your life story for a book to make money. With all due respect, everything seems too much on the vanilla side. Moreover, anyone who reads that book has at least a 50% chance of having visited this forum and will not find it worth purchasing.
The real problem has always been privacy issues. Corporations are constantly snooping around in people's internet activity, and if you say something wrong, they will blacklist you, especially if you say something that contradicts the globalist, progressive political agenda. This colors everything and the plagiarist knows it. Theoretically, since femdom, at least in the public perception, is compatible with feminist ideology, the corporations should be fine with it, even approve of it. But femdom does not enjoy the same status in the media as being gay or transgender, so there could be complications. That's just the way it is
Joel
For Joel,
Thank you for the comment. Twenty five years ago being gay, being transgender, or even same sex marriages were not things people even talked about. Today, they seem to be acceptable. Is it so strange an idea that some couples will want relationships in which the man obeys a woman? Why is it that this so simple concept is so far out of the mainstream? And, the beautiful part is that submissive men make such wonderful fathers and husbands.
Love, Kathy
I am so sorry, Kathy. That really makes me sad, and angry that they were so lazy about it. They probably will not make any money with the book but that doesn't matter, it's your story. We can complain to amazon. My friend wrote a book and someone left a fake review saying she lied and used fake data. This was a lie. Her friends and colleagues were able to complain to amazon and they removed the review. We flagged it as "harassment." I know that situation is different, but I'll bet we can get some attention to this little piece and get it taken down, without attorneys or law enforcement. Amazon is a business and they don't have any obligation to sell anyone's work. Good luck and please don't hesitate to ask for our help. We are behind you on this one.
Renee
Ms. Kathy,
I'm very sorry for what happened and it also makes me angry at them.
If anyone here knows how to find the author of an Amazon book please help find them -- I think it would be good to talk to them.
Several months ago I discovered your blog and read all that was available, I was disappointed that earlier material was missing. Although I understood you were a different person to when you started the blog I wanted to read your full story, to read about the journey you had been on together as a family. I didn't share your blog with my Wife at the time as I didn't think she would be that interested. As much as I enjoyed your story it didn't fit into where I thought she was taking us.
In the last few days, talking to my Wife about the development of our relationship into an FLR which grew out of a use of male chastity to control my behavior and orgasms, we discussed how she was more a Disciplinarian than a Domme. I suddenly remembered your blog, and felt it was much more relevant than I had realised. I even told my Wife about the dynamic you share with your daughter and the way both of you control your husbands. I had forgotten about your Christianity as that would also fit into my Wife's morals, values and practices.
I was therefore very disappointed to find that once again all of the earlier posts have been removed. I told my Wife about your current situation and even though she has never read a word, she was furious about the plagiarism. We both hope that you eventually get to a point where earlier posts can be returned for us to read, or you begin to write about your life again.
I see Gravano is back. This is his favorite shtick. Spends his whole day visiting Femdom and FLR blogs, the tries to Alpha their author and take over the discussion. Because it is very easy to be a bully when you get to hide behind an anonymous electronic identity. I strongly advise you to stop publishing his stuff and deny him the microphone. I'm really not surprised to see him trying to take you on, since the particular target of his hatred is strong women in real Femdom relationships. He loves this stuff, as long as it is not "real." It all comes down to fallout from his strong mother humiliating his weak father.
Some people have to learn the hard way."
Hello all. Welcome back to The Forum. Our weekly gathering of men and women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline or Female Led Relationships.
I hope you all had a great week. I added a comment to last week's topic that addressed a real life spanking I received last week. I don't do that a lot, but this one raised an issue that I thought might make a good topic, because this one may have forced us to think a little bit more about how she can be the most effective in bringing about what we both want, which is making me feel genuinely repentant about what I've done and really changing behavior.
From the beginning, we have taken Domestic Discipline seriously. Though it clearly has erotic overtones, it isn't part of a kinky game for us. We have a lot of commenters on here, with relationships that seem to run the gamut from spanking as "funishment," i.e. not really discipline at all, to someone like Fred for whom it is pure discipline with no real erotic or D/s overtones. On that spectrum, until a year or so ago we were pretty close to Fred's end of the spectrum. DD was more of an event than a lifestyle, and there wasn't a real fundamental change in the power structure. That has changed this year, with DD more of one tool in a broader FLR lifestyle. But, the goal really did remain to make me pay a price for bad behavior such that I would be less likely to do it again.
My earliest exposure to Domestic Discipline reinforced that the starting place regarding severity should be, "The harder you spanking him, the more he will love you for it." And, I still believe there is a lot of truth in that. I also believe that if it isn't really hard, and designed to push him not only to his limits but somewhat beyond them, then is it really punishment? If it's something you can easily take, then how are you really being punished?
This year, however, I began to have a glimmer of doubt about the "harder is always better" premise. The doubt was a result of real experience. Despite doing this for over a decade, one thing I have never yet been able to do is get to a real catharsis, where I just let it go and cry. Many long-term readers know that tears are something of a fixation for me where DD is concerned, probably because I think it would be good for me to get there, and so far I just can't find the right prescription to to do it. I do think that severity plays a role in it, and that the instrument needs to be effective enough and the spanking long enough for there to be any hope of reaching the threshold for real tears. While I've always known that was only part of the prescription, however, it has been only recently that I started seeing the extent to which it not only is not sufficient, it may actually impede the process.
Hi Gravano. I see you are up to your old tricks of copying content from other people's blogs and posting them as your own. I did, btw, keep every single comment you left on mine. But, since I don't feel like polluting this fine blog with your anti-female rants and personal attacks on other commenters, I'll forgo posting them.
Kathy, the three comments immediately prior to this one are cut and pastes from my blog. You are free to take them down or leave them, as you choose.
Anonymity is a fact of life for those who want to practice femdom lifestyles. I'm sure that it is disturbing. I'm a lawyer and this is not compatibile with my business dealings. Submissive males are not respected, maybe someday it will be but it isn't now.
I don't know much about copyright but I don't think the author can copy your words. The fact that the blog copied so much will probably invalidate any copyright he may have.
If the author instead wrote an article on you with or without your permission describing what you did he might have been allowed. A technicality but possibly important to you in this situation.
I have fluctuated over the years in my desires. I don't even know what I want at this point. I'm sorry you have to go through this but I don't think you will want to take it to an actual court because it would become public. You may have recourse to a prosecutor if you can find a sympathetic one because the author is potentially blackmailing you or releasing private information about you in a negative manner.
Your daughter also is in the same boat regarding her privacy but its unlikely you want your family to go through this. Sadly the ones we love are the ones we don't let know about our true selves because of embarassment, or because we want their acceptance.
I hope things work out for you.
Anonymous is obviously right that someone who steals your content may be protected by your own desire for anonymity, but the operative word is "may." There are several factor that impact that analysis in this case, including:
(a) Is the content thief himself anonymous? If he himself values his anonymity, that stealing someone's material and publishing it as a book is very dangerous for him, because those Amazon royalty checks likely are made out to a real person whose identity will be subject to discovery in a civil suit.
(b) Therefore, the thief's plan to use your desire for anonymity to protect his scheme works only if you not only do value your anonymity but do so more than he values his. Also, he has a lot more at risk than you do, because copyright infringement is not just a claim you can take to court, it is a crime. So, he faces (a) the prospect of public embarrassment if he is exposed as both someone who is into D/s and also is a thief; (b) damages he might have to pay you for taking your material; and (c) real jail time.
I do not know the extent to which you do, in fact, value your anonymity. I disagree with Anonymous that anonymity is a fact of life for those in Femdom lifestyles. It isn't a fact -- it's a choice. Some are more "out" than others, and the consequences for outing oneself probably vary a lot depending on each person's age, occupation, whether kids are still at home, etc. I myself am hitting a point in my life where I have much less reason to care about my anonymity, and someone would be playing a very dangerous game if they decided they could just take my stuff with impunity. Particularly someone who leaves a trail of breadcrumbs on various commercial and non-commercial spanking-oriented websites.
It is a pity. I'm very sorry for you. I read your blogs, the last and the penultimate. I had followed with confidence and admiration. I am a submissive man who learned much from your experiences. I've never written because i don’t dominate english (I'm in Barcelona, Catalonia) and I lack security to express myself fluently. But today, I feel the need to try.
Again, I'm very sorry and, worst of all, I would not lose his guide and his sense of female leadership. I also want to say that I read the comments from readers and have always been interesting and instructive.
I am at your disposal.
Domenec
Sorry you felt the need to remove your work. Nice to hear it was pulled from the shelf so to speak. As others have said, I would like to read the full blog sometime. Looking for an education.
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