Monday, February 6, 2017

Loving Female Authority 1

As must of you may have guessed John is an avid reader of the blog. Often times we talk about post, we look back together at the different life events that have either separated us or brought us closer together.

The episode in New York with the ribbon was an even that brought us closer together as a couple.
That evening in the hotel room I finally gave John permission to remove the ribbon from his hair.
His reaction was to kneel, wrap his arms around my legs, and put his head on my lap. My reaction was to gently rub the back of his neck while telling him that his actions that morning disappointed me. At that time our femdom relationship was still in its embryotic stage. In many ways we were both feeling our way into things while learning about each other.

One of the questions I put to John that evening was about his former mistress. If he had been with Tara or one of the other girls from the studio would he have talked back to her the way he did with me. The answer was a very sweet and contrite 'no ma'am'. Then why did you talk back to me I asked John. When there was no answer to that question I went on- leading him a bit. 'Was it because you respected Tara's authority more than mine', I asked. Once again there was no answer. 'Was she a better mistress', I asked.

While John could not answer my questions or would not answer  I could tell he was thinking. After a little while John found the courage to apologize. 'I apologize for offending  you, I was a naughty slave boy' he responded. 'No, that is the way you were taught to apologize in the studio' I reminded  him. It was a made up type of sentence that Tara and her girls expected a male to utter when he didn't do something quite to their expectations. 'How do you say I'm sorry to me, your wife as well as your mistress when you truly hurt her feelings'.

It was  an emotional time for both of us. It was important for our marriage that John truly respected me as his mistress. It was also important that he loved me like his wife. In so many ways the young Elizabeth brought these thoughts back into my mind.  In the show it was clear that she expected her husband to respect her as his queen, kneel at her feet, but still love her like a wife.
'I'm so sorry, mistress' John finally came out with. And, what is my name, I asked John. 'Kathy, mistress' he replied. Then try the apology again  saying my name. John understood and the words came out of his mouth with real meaning. 'I'm sorry mistress Kathy' he responded.

While his words were sincere the apology was still not exactly what I was looking for. Try again, I told him. This time he had it correct, 'I'm sorry Kathy' he responded. His words were sincere.
Sometimes a wife needs her husband to just call her by her name, not mistress or mistress Kathy, just Kathy. That was one of those times for me. At that moment I also realized that my own conversion from wife to mistress wife was not yet complete, but I was learning.

What made that evening in the hotel room so very special was that we were learning together.
While John was learning to be a better submissive, I was learning how to be a better mistress to him.
Being a mistress to a man you love and have a relationship with is so very different than simply being a mistress. I again reminded John that his words that morning were offensive to me as his wife as well as his mistress. Yet, as a wife I could possibly tolerate some degree of back talk.. As a mistress it simply was not tolerable. In a sense though the two roles were blended together in a way that could not be separated.

When John finally spoke the words I wanted to hear with real conviction in his voice I forgave him.
I then gave him permission to kiss my feet. In our world that is the sign of absolution and forgiveness. I then gave him permission to remove my shoes and worship my feet with all of his heart.  And yes, I have learned to enjoy the feeling of my man's tongue on my feet, between my toes, and under them. Women have written to me that it is deviant to allow a man to worship your feet.
Yes, it may be deviant and a little kinky. But yes, form time to time we all need a little kink in our lives.

Love you all for reading. Femdom is about love and caring. John was ordered to wear the ribbon because I cared about him. John obeyed because he cared about me. He was allowed the privilege of foot worship because I love him, and want him to be happy. And remember that submissive men are never happier or more content than when at the feet of the woman who loves them. So tell me by looking into your own heart do you 'get' what I am saying.



Sixfootsixtexas said...

Thank you for this beautiful post. With Valentine's Day around the corner, the sentiments could not be more timely. Pure love is honest love, no ,Attar what form it takes. In disciplining your husband to show honest love, you were bestowing pure love on him...even though it may not have felt that way initially.

I'm-Hers said...

"as a wife I could possibly tolerate some degree of back talk.. As a mistress it simply was not tolerable."

Katie and I were sitting on the deck as the sun was setting and enjoying a glass of wine on a perfect late winter evening. We were talking about how our love relationship after knowing one another for so many years is still so very close. We are still so very much in love. I commented that much of that has to do with our femdom relationship. I added that because we don't argue or because I don't say disrespectful things to her, we have avoided the steady flow of mounting hurts and disappointments that - over time- that ruins so many marriages.

We are just now on the other side of having a bit of an issue in our own D/s relationship. During that down time, I've let my devotion to her slide and she has not insisted I up my performance by remaining 100% committed to her as her submissive. During that time I've closer to wanting to be disrespectful and in some ways may have done just that.

It's her insistence that I remain acutely aware that she owns me and that my life belongs to her that determines in large measure the health of our marriage. The yellow ribbon story is so pertinent to me now. I need to get on my knees - or be made to get on my knees - just as she needs to insist I do so.

Thank you for a well-timed post that spoke to me.

Love you for the role-model you are to so many.
Thank you Kathy

Anonymous said...

Yes absolutely, slaves are never happier than when they are at their Mistresse's feet


Anonymous said...

I really enjoyed this blog entry. I am submissive to my wife and while our relationship is a mild FLM one thing that developed is a routine where I kiss/worship my wife's feet, usually weekly. I always do it when she asks, and always when I am wearing my chastity device. It is an time where I get into a highly submissive mood. Your story touched me.

Wishful4 said...

Thank you for such a wonderful post. A FemDom relationship is about love and caring. One thing you touched on is a much larger issue for the wife in such a relationship. That is trying to reconcile being a mistress and a wife and how to mesh both together. I think this is a huge problem for a lot of wives. I wish there was something I could do to help her. It's a lot easier for us men as we don't try and overthink things and our brains process relationship issues in a simpler manner. Most all your posts speak to my heart. Thank you so much for writing them.

sublove said...

I've been thoughtfully reading your Loving Female Authority posts Kathy, thank you for continuing your thought process with it. There is no question that husbands will get out of line from time to time, even in the most caring of relationships, and how those situations are handled, or not handled, can define the WLM. Our WLM being only about a year and a half old is still in a rather formative stage. Although my wife has become a commendable leader of our home, she is yet to instili any sort of discipline structure. My hope is that we will get there, but I am not holding my breath as it is something she has not been the best at on the whole throughout her life so far.

When we married, she was a widow with five children at home. There are four still at home and by far the larges struggle I've had and adjustment to make is the lack of structure, accountability and discipline concerning the children. It's a radical departure from how my now adult 3 children were raised. It's definitely better now than it was four plus years ago when we were married but still hair-raisingly frustrating at times. The kids' father was sickly and there was next to no parental teamwork in the home.

That said, I'm afraid that extra Dom/sub bonding that would come through loving discipline will be quite some time in the making, if at all. Time will tell. Honestly I'm very grateful and satisfied with the progress that we have made as a couple and for the WLM as it now exists given the heavy load that my wife maintains. Besides the very full and hectic home life that leaves us both spinning at times, she has a fair amount of stress from a full time career and two adult children that present ongoing special issues of their own. The LAST thing I need to do is pressure her even more, no matter how much I want it it or how helpful I believe it can be. From all this, you can imagine there are a plethora of opportunities for a submissive husband to help and support his loving wife and Queen. I do that as much as I can and we always seem to find ways and moments when we can bond as Wife and husband, Dom and sub.

I do share pieces of your writings with her when possible and we have both gleaned from your perspective. I hope you continue to offer your unique wisdom on this topic and perhaps share some of your thoughts concerning discipline situation such as mine. Thanks for another great post and thank you for letting me ramble.


Sj Adams said...

Mistress Kathy if there is one golden moment in our day it's when ,first thing in the morning,I kneel at Mistress Dis feet and kiss them slowly and totally sincerely. I then come to my knees where she accepts my embrace. It is pure love. At first it was my idea because I felt it was right but now it has become hugely important to my Mistress . If I am grumpy and don't feel like it it becomes the very thing o should do to turn bad into good. I feel very grateful when she accepts my submission and worship then strokes my head. I have just come out of the same place as our much loved IH and the feet worship had been vital. Thank you Stevenz

Alex said...

Ms. Kathy,

Something that I love about how you Mistress is that you really make it a loving, loving Female led relationship. You ARE Kathy before being "Mistress Kathy" and I don't think there's anything un-Femdom or wrong about that. What I think is wonderful is that things are done your way. How it should be.


Kathy said...

For Alex, Until you find a lady of your own remember that you are my little sweetheart.

Love, Kathy

Alex said...

Ms. Kathy,
I feel like an M&M when I visualize You uttering those words. Yes, as I read them, I realize that I may try resisting, staying still and blushing, under your firm hand and eyed by you, feeling you control me in your hands and might want to eat me all up but I try to resist. I feel it-s to no avail, but so far it somehow works. That is a futile choice though because as I realize those words were said by You, uttered from Your Feminine Authoritarian Loving mouth, then as an M&M I melt in your mouth.

YOURS truly.

Anonymous said...

Ms. Kathy, do you think you could post anything soon? We really miss you!

Kathy said...

For Anonymous

Thank you sweetie for asking about the blog.

In the last few months I have shared a lot of my feeling regarding femdom, love, and living. As you all know these are my favorite things to write about. But, for the time being I am 'talked out'

Happy Valentine to all of you.

Will try to return to blogging some time next month.

Love Kathy

Anonymous said...

Mistress Kathy
So pleased to hear you will return to blogging.
Signing on each day and not finding a post, day
after day,sad.
Be well, dear Kathy. So looking forward to your return.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kathy said...

I just want to thank the gentlemen who submitted the comment that described his new girlfriends reaction to finding F/d type magazines in his home. It was a good comment in most ways. I published it and then decided that due to the graphic language related to its subject matter the comment was not quite appropriate for this blog. Hope that you are still with this dynamic lady.

Love, Kathy

Anonymous said...

Ms. Kathy

Sometimes it really gets hard to be such a long time without the blog. I'm not complaining, I'm just letting you know how it feels on this side. That's because we love Female guidance and you are such an important Female authority figure after all these years.

Anonymous said...

I still with her, sorry about the details, told her just now, she standing beside me insuring I tell how Sorry I am. Have to go, for this action I have earned a spanking and so once again sorry.

Anonymous said...

Being a single male, these blogs have been helpful. Finding a woman who would indulge me is hard to do and so for the time being I've stopped looking. Back to these blogs, the pictures are wonderful and for me a godsend. I have three that bring me enjoyment, the lady in her slip spanking a naked male in the bedroom, the clothed woman sitting on a chair, in view a couch with a ladies arm showing, meaning her and maybe another watching and across the ladies lap on the chair is a naked male getting a sound spanking. The picture of the woman in the kitchen sitting on a chair, a girl sitting on the steps and a naked male except for socks getting a spanking with a hairbrush, I've seen another that goes with this and he is being led down the hall, her spanking him along the way. The caption on one saids the son being spanked in front of the sister and the other the boy friend getting spanking by girlfriends mother as his girlfriend watches. I dream of being the male in these pictures, I will masturbate, it does not matter where, but have found it is very naughty when I place a towel in the front room, be naked, kneel on the towel and look at the pictures and close my eyes and soon I'm that naked male being spanked and I stroke my penis slow at first then faster and then I cum. I lay there naked on the towel and enjoy the feeling. Wish one of these would come true, but for now I depend on these blogs to get me through.

Anonymous said...

My thought is that, at the time, John had been fully trained by Tara and that he was still a work-in-progress with Ms Kathy. Training can take time: Knowing good what is not tolerable is not the same as feeling it in your bones. With a patient and yet exacting wife enforcing her requirements, a husband will reach a point where even the thought of committing an intolerable act is cause for mortification. It can be too embarrassing to confess, but that is an opportunity for deep training.