As must of you may have guessed John is an avid reader of the blog. Often times we talk about post, we look back together at the different life events that have either separated us or brought us closer together.
The episode in New York with the ribbon was an even that brought us closer together as a couple.
That evening in the hotel room I finally gave John permission to remove the ribbon from his hair.
His reaction was to kneel, wrap his arms around my legs, and put his head on my lap. My reaction was to gently rub the back of his neck while telling him that his actions that morning disappointed me. At that time our femdom relationship was still in its embryotic stage. In many ways we were both feeling our way into things while learning about each other.
One of the questions I put to John that evening was about his former mistress. If he had been with Tara or one of the other girls from the studio would he have talked back to her the way he did with me. The answer was a very sweet and contrite 'no ma'am'. Then why did you talk back to me I asked John. When there was no answer to that question I went on- leading him a bit. 'Was it because you respected Tara's authority more than mine', I asked. Once again there was no answer. 'Was she a better mistress', I asked.
While John could not answer my questions or would not answer I could tell he was thinking. After a little while John found the courage to apologize. 'I apologize for offending you, I was a naughty slave boy' he responded. 'No, that is the way you were taught to apologize in the studio' I reminded him. It was a made up type of sentence that Tara and her girls expected a male to utter when he didn't do something quite to their expectations. 'How do you say I'm sorry to me, your wife as well as your mistress when you truly hurt her feelings'.
It was an emotional time for both of us. It was important for our marriage that John truly respected me as his mistress. It was also important that he loved me like his wife. In so many ways the young Elizabeth brought these thoughts back into my mind. In the show it was clear that she expected her husband to respect her as his queen, kneel at her feet, but still love her like a wife.
'I'm so sorry, mistress' John finally came out with. And, what is my name, I asked John. 'Kathy, mistress' he replied. Then try the apology again saying my name. John understood and the words came out of his mouth with real meaning. 'I'm sorry mistress Kathy' he responded.
While his words were sincere the apology was still not exactly what I was looking for. Try again, I told him. This time he had it correct, 'I'm sorry Kathy' he responded. His words were sincere.
Sometimes a wife needs her husband to just call her by her name, not mistress or mistress Kathy, just Kathy. That was one of those times for me. At that moment I also realized that my own conversion from wife to mistress wife was not yet complete, but I was learning.
What made that evening in the hotel room so very special was that we were learning together.
While John was learning to be a better submissive, I was learning how to be a better mistress to him.
Being a mistress to a man you love and have a relationship with is so very different than simply being a mistress. I again reminded John that his words that morning were offensive to me as his wife as well as his mistress. Yet, as a wife I could possibly tolerate some degree of back talk.. As a mistress it simply was not tolerable. In a sense though the two roles were blended together in a way that could not be separated.
When John finally spoke the words I wanted to hear with real conviction in his voice I forgave him.
I then gave him permission to kiss my feet. In our world that is the sign of absolution and forgiveness. I then gave him permission to remove my shoes and worship my feet with all of his heart. And yes, I have learned to enjoy the feeling of my man's tongue on my feet, between my toes, and under them. Women have written to me that it is deviant to allow a man to worship your feet.
Yes, it may be deviant and a little kinky. But yes, form time to time we all need a little kink in our lives.
Love you all for reading. Femdom is about love and caring. John was ordered to wear the ribbon because I cared about him. John obeyed because he cared about me. He was allowed the privilege of foot worship because I love him, and want him to be happy. And remember that submissive men are never happier or more content than when at the feet of the woman who loves them. So tell me by looking into your own heart do you 'get' what I am saying.