Saturday, August 17, 2013


It looks to be shaping up for another hot, humid weekend.

This past evening John and I had a conversation about the blog.  I was very pleased, I told him about
the response to the last posting. Once again Mistress Sandra shared words of wisdom with us.

What was it John asked that struck you the most about her comment.  To John I replied it was the
simple statement that men want to be led. It could have been added that men want to be led by women, but that was obvious from her remarks.

The other part of Miss Sandra's comment was that men want to be held accountable. Men need to know that mistress is watching them. Men need to know that their wife truly wants their submission.
You can talk all you want about femdom, but in essence this is what it is all about.

It had been a while since John and I practiced some of our 'basic' commands. I reminded him that I am still his mistress. Did he remember, I asked, what it meant when I snapped my fingers in his
direction. Yes mistress, John replied. In my next breath as my fingers bailey completed the motion
John dropped his body to the floor.

In a way I have always enjoyed the rush of power in bringing men to this position of respect.
The interesting part is men like John enjoy having a female exercise this type of direct authority
over them. After my shower I was pleased to see that John didn't move a muscle in the twenty or so minutes  that he was left alone in 'command position'



Alex said...

Mistress! You deserve every inch of your slave. You are a clear authoritarian who demands nothing less than full submission and you know how to melt the weaker sex.

Kathy said...

Well Alex, I don,t know about all of that. What I do believe is that if you are going to be the mistress, you need to let the man know in no uncertain terms who is going to be the
boss. I believe this is what Mistress Sandra is saying in her comment. It is not about being mean or cruel to a man. ALways remember this is what the husband wants-to be led-to be bossed around. Training a man to follow a few basic rules of etiquette provides structure for a man. It helps a man better understand that you are not just playing
a mistress game with him. For this reason collaring a man helps to define roles in a relationship. If you take the step of collaring why not take it one step further and put a leash on him. A dirty little secret is that most men would love to be collared and leashed by their wives.

Love, Kathy

Antwerp said...

What I love so much about this blog is the way you lay out simple, essential, foundational truth. This post is no exception. My submissive heart nods with full affirmation. But not only does it feel good, I feel I can put this understanding to practice for us in our marriage.

Thank you Ms Kathy! (And all the other contributors, including Mistress Sandra.)

Wishful4 said...

Mistress Kathy,

I think you are correct that there are a lot of men out there ready to completely submit to their wives. I am among them and am willing to take this as far as the love of my life wants to go. The only obstacle is that word that keeps coming up over and over in your posts. That word is "acceptance" of our submission by the women in our lives. Acceptance of a husbands desire to completely submit would be an excellent subject for a blog entry on its own. How does a wife get there? What's holding her back? How can we help? When does the realization happen? Acceptance by his wife is the holy grail for a submissive husband. I would love to hear your take on how a mistress wife gets to that magical place.

subservient-husband said...

Mistress Kathy,

My wife too is learning enjoying keeping me in command position. She does not know it by that name, but often dismisses me while I am and then goes about an activity.

One such routine is, she stands and has me remove her clothing just about every evening. This is an opportunity for her to demonstrate that I am best kept chaste and sexually frustrated for her.

On the evenings she subsequently takes a shower, I remain in the room for her to help her with her pajamas after she showers.


Anonymous said...

Mistress Kathy,

Thank you for your post. As a submissive man these words expressed my submission well:

"The other part of Miss Sandra's comment was that men want to be held accountable. Men need to know that mistress is watching them. Men need to know that their wife truly wants their submission."

My wife and I began a wife led marriage a few weeks ago and have had several conversations about my need to know, and to be reminded often. I carry a token that reminds me of my submission and her acceptance, but it is that statement from her on a regular basis, that she is in control, and that I am to be controlled, that I crave.

Alex said...

Ms. Katy,

Thank you a lot for that response!!! :-)

I agree, a Mistress must be the boss in no uncertain terms. As you once said, it's like training a puppy.
I think it is a very good analogy. Dogs can be smart. Some dogs are smarter than some humans (for example a very smart dog and a very stupid human or for example a 5 year old dog and a 1 year old human) but that doesn't mean that therefore the dog can boss around the human; dogs are meant to follow humans and obey them. I am meant to follow women and obey them, and I feel they are my Superiors even when I am smarter than some or older or anything else because I feel a biological urge to submit to them instilled by nature. Does that make any sense?

If I was following a Woman, being her slave, and she was unsecure or transmitted uncertainty about her authority that would not be good for me. Sometimes I need for a woman to collar and leash me, to lead me. I sometimes need to see the determination in a Mistress to dominate me with her eyes, and to spank me if needed. That's what I need. That's who I am. And you have shown me that it is OK, it's acceptable and it doesn't make me any less valuable than if I wasn't like that. It's just... I am attracted to Female Dominance and to Dominant Women just like some people might be attracted to the same sex or to the opposite. In my case I am attracted to no-nonsense dominant Women who expect me to obey them, but who also love and nourish me within the boundaries of their authority, their unquestionable and strict authority.

Kiss to you Mistress!

Anonymous said...

Dear Kathy,

In your reply to Alex on the 17th, you said, "A dirty little secret is that most men would love to be collared and leashed by their wives." Until recently, I would have thought that comment a bit over the top. As you know I have lived a sort of vanilla femdom relationship with Hubbie. I described in an earlier post how, at the urging of my daughter, Emma, I had collared and leashed Hubbie while we were on vacation. I guess it took Emma to make me see that Hubbie's leaving me behind on hikes was just selfish and disrespectful on his part. I thought that the collar and leash would just serve to keep him with me. I had not, quite frankly, expected the power rush that I got from having Hubbie literally on a leash, nor did I understand that Hubbie was getting his own submissive rush from being leashed.

A week after we were home, Hubbie was slow to do a chore which I had expected to be done promptly. I said, "If you don't start moving on the chores, you may find yourself with your collar back on and on my leash." He immediately came to me, dropped to his knees, and bowed his head. He WANTED the collar.

I collared him, leashed him and then we had a good talk. Hubbie said that being collared and leashed in that wilderness setting gave him a submissive rush that he had seldom experienced. I asked him to compare it and he compared it to his first pantyings by me, by Laura, by his Mom and by his own daughter, as well as the experience of Emma's wedding, which I will tell about some time.

So, unexpectedly-at least from my perspective, I agree with your statement. Hubbie does love to be collared and leashed by his wife, and so does my son-in-law.

Kathy, I thought I was too old to change, but my daughter has me doing things and thinking about doing things that I never would have tried on my ow. Although young in years, she is a natural dominant, and understands men perhaps better than her old Mom.

I promise to get to the wedding next time-unless you have another zinger that hits home and which causes a need to share that can't be put off.



Anonymous said...

Mistress Kathy,

You have had the experience of being both an ordinary housewife and a Mistress. It seems to me also that You especially like the idea of collaring and leashing a man. Now when a Woman collars and leashes a man (in the nude), it has several meanings. It means the man has no right to hide any part of his body from his Mistress; his crawling implies the utmost respect:that he is in no such position to walk on two feet when having the privilege of walking with the Mistress; his moving behind again means respect. My question is, when You look inside as a Woman, how natural does it all feel compared to the way a Woman treats Her man in a vanilla relationship? At times when there is no excitement, is the feeling different? Finally, since sexual fulfillment is an important element of any successful marriage, to what extent does collaring and leashing contribute in this aspect?

Thank you


Anonymous said...

We miss you. How was your week?

Anonymous said...

I like some of the other commentors would love to see a entry about "acceptance of submission" by the wife. How to get there. I also have a sort of "command" position. My wife will set me close to her pussy (lick position) but I must never lick unless she gives the command. She will often place me there to rest but not to lick. If I am lucky I am told to lick and I do so very obediently.

Anonymous said...

Ahh, back to talking about commands, just a matter of time before you are posting about the cage, yellow ribbons and digging holes and burying sticks. Can't you come up with anything new? Same boring nonsense over and over and over. At least Google Femdom for some new ideas.

Alex said...

Hi Ms. Kathy,

We've missed you this past 2 weeks. How are you? How is Ms. Becky?

Anonymous said...

How can I get my wife to become this dominant
I am trying to tell her I need her to be in charge of everything and I need to be her submissive