There are quite a few blogs on the web that deal with cross dressing. Now that we are into it a bit, I think the blogs tend to make way too big of a deal over it.
A few months back I started allowing John out with a skirt, low heals, and one of my old purses. At first he was very nervous. He was excited, but nervous. Then he had a realization. No one really cared. Every once in a while someone would take a second look. Every once in a while a guy might whistle at him. Like a real women John quickly learned to ignore the whistle and keep on walking. He also learned the value of a pleasant smile to disarm people. The other thing that surprised John was that he received several compliments on how nice he looked.
As I have said in the last posting, my attitude toward cross dressing has changed. The recent experience of taking my guy shopping was rather pleasant. We had a few giggles from teenage girls, but no bricks and stones. Instead of a hair ribbon, John was allowed to wear one of my old hats. In some ways I believe the experience of dressing up in public was good for him. Although every thing went well, John tells me that wearing a skirt made him feel so very vulnerable.
The other point John made was that he felt much more comfortable in the company of women than of men.
He had no problems going into a women's store, or in most retail outlets. The most difficult places for him were restaurants. John tells me that when ever he walked into a restaurant, he could hear the back ground noises of people talking about him, and see others turning their heads in his direction. The food servers were always very nice to him. One one occasion the manager came to the table to make sure everything was fine,
and make him feel wellcome.
One of the things John discovered is that as long as you are polite and courteous most people really don't care how you are dressed. Of course, there are exceptions. Even with Femdom 101 there are some comments that are incredibly hateful. One of the instructions I gave to John was to always be polite. If he went into a small retail store, ask if they minded him shopping there. If he walked into a eatery he asked if they minded having him there with his little skirt on. In every case the owner or manger said they would love to have him.When he left with a package they invited him back.
One of the questions I asked John was did dressing as a women make you feel any different on the inside.
Yes, John felt that women's clothing tends to bring out a softer side in him. In some ways it is like femdom he told me. I also asked John if there was one instance that made him feel particularly bad or good. On the negative side several young spanish men teased him while walking into a Walmart. By far this was is most uncomfortable experience because he didn't know exactly what they were going to do. On the plus side a male waiter called him baby while delivering the check. John tells me that being called baby by another man actually made him blush.
Through out all of this John's biggest fear was that someone from work would recognize him. On the inside he is a little ashamed to be out and about about in women's things. It is not something he would want his daughter to know about. On the other hand John tells me he is not quite sure why a man who believes in the natural superiority of women should ever be ashamed of wearing female clothing. Being out and about was a learning experience for John. In some small way I thing it helped him understand more about himself, his submissive nature, and how to interact with other people.
Love you for reading, Love you more for commenting. For my baby cross dressing and female domination have been fantasies of his for for a long time. When I was a young girl, I had a fantasy of a strong, well toned muscled man taking me in his arms, and making wild love to me. Well that fantasy never quite happened. Instead, I am blessed with a sweet, gentle, caring lover whom I wouldn't trade for the world. John makes me happy in so many ways. I would like to hear form each of you, my babies, about fantasies. Should they be left alone, or should they ever be acted upon. Has anyone ever acted on a fantasy only to be disappointed by the reality?
God Bless,
Kathy
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16 comments:
Good grief. I would never go around in womens' clothes. They are made for women, not men. They give power to women and I think that men do not deserve to wear the armour of a female.
I love it when my wife wears her leather skirt and boots as they give her infinite power over me and my mind turns to mush. I would kiss the ground she walks on when she dresses like that.
Those sorts of clothes would look stupid on me and I speak as a cyclist who shaves his legs and wears Spandex shorts. I have no such submissive fantasies at all as I do not see myself as a naturally submissive man, merely a man that has been conditioned and trained to obey female commands, either at home or at work.
It is not a fantasy for me at all, but real life. I only wish that I could get a kick of the situation I am in, but I rarely do.
I too am not into crossdressing, but that doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with it. My wife doesn't like it either. She allows me to wear panties 24/7 and sometimes a short silky nightie to bed if she has been pleased by my behavior.
Best place Your husband can buy women's clothes is Goodwill or Salvation Army Thrift stores. The stock is huge, alot of large sizes and only for a couple of dollars. You can take these items easily into the dressing rooms as I do with nighties and try them on. The only thing , and very important, is to put them into a clothes dryer when you get home for 20 minutes, wash them and then dry again. Thrift stores are notorious for bedbugs and other small creatures. Throw away all bags.
Kathy,
OMG! I would never have Gary out in uniform.
We keep everything hidden, as he is well known in our area.
Patty
Mistress Kathy
I think that if the man has a desire to "dress" than by all means he should be allowed. This is a fantasy that has been with him, most likely, from his real young days and he has kept it a secret for the biggest part of his life. Some people think that by seeing a professional, it will all go away. Never. Its a very burning desire that stays with a man his entire life.
Many crossdressers will tell you that it just feels "right" or it feels "real good" when dressed, and that is the truth. Some men go as far as having a sex change, but the majority of men will be happy if they have a "SUPER" wife who allows them to CD and go with them when shopping etc.
Naturally, when confronted with the "Good Wife" he will possibly want to go out more and more. This does NOT mean that he wants to get a sex change operation.
Mistress Kathy, YOU are such a perfect wife and for a Zillion years, John will love you.
Good luck
Jelyybean
A P.S. To the above post
Another comment. If you do see hil looking at some woman, believe me, he is looking at her much as YOU would look at her. He's thinking, what a really nice dress, wonder where she got it, or shoes...really nice and someday I 'd like a pair like that. He's not really looking at women the way all of us think he is, clothes, hair styles, shoe styles whether he prefers dresses to skirts or a whole bunch of both, and normally men will not be too enthused over slacks, not always, but many times they will remind him of men's pants.
Alot of men who are submissive are also crossdressers. Ric said that a man is a man etc. A man dressed in female clothes is still a man but is expressing his desire to be more comfortable dressed in women clothes. Rather than wear "BORING" men's clothes that consists of a pair of pants and a Blahhhh shirt that puts most people to sleep, they choose to wear the pretty blouses, skirts, shoes and maybe a touch of make up and a real pretty wig. Things clothes turn out to be so much more exciting and fun to wear.
Goodgye again and good luck
Jellybean
While women's clothing may be the armour for women, and give them power, they are kryponite to the man. They take away his power, and strip away his armour, as John discovered. Even the simple hair ribbon was enough to make him vulnerable and ashamed.
I have crossdressed, but only once in the general public, by walking through a hotel lobby in a taffeta dress and bloomers, and shiny Mary Janes. Otherwise, I've covered up in "man clothes" until I got to the fetish event I was attending.
I went to a crossdressing group on several occasions in a nice dress and heels, and drove there this way, but was afraid the whole time that I might be stopped by the police or get into an accident.
My wife does not like crossdressers. She is very sweet to them, but feels bad for them in a motherly way, because she feels badly that they were born in the wrong body. She could never tolerate my crossdressing if she knew.
Dear Kathy
I found your wonderful blog a few days ago (better late than never!)and felt I had to tell you how much I liked most of your posts and the comments. Let me introduce myself briefly. I "own" a wonderful submissive man whom I met ten years ago and married in 2004. In some ways, even many ways, our relationship is quite like yours with John: not "vanilla" but not at all a life of whips and chains! Chris is so obedient that I rarely have to punish him, and punishment, when I do have to resort to it, is more by means of showing my displeasure with a frown and a scathing remark than with anything physical.
I would like to tell more about how we met but I don't want to take up too much space for my first post. I just would like to make a few remarks about your "A Little about crossdressing" post. First let me tell you I admire and envy your courage (yours and John's)in going out with him wearing a skirt. I would be too afraid (and so would he) of possible nasty remarks from people on the street. I don't care much for men's crossdressing anyway, and although Chris likes to wear skirts and heels, he is not particularly obsessed with it. I don't mind about panties (he's been wearing then since he was a teenager!)and I allow him to wear skirts at home. He particularly feels comfortable wearing pencil skirts (the ones that are just above-the-knees length) and I must say he looks sort of cute in them.
Chris says that one of the many reasons women are superior to men is that while a woman can wear male clothes and look good, even great, a man wearing female clothes only looks silly. There is some wisdom in that remark I think.
I appreciated reading the comments of jellybean and downlow. It is true that men who like to crossdress (and there are many more than we suspect) have been like that from an early age and continue for most of their life. When one think about it, there's really nothing wrong about a man's liking wearing female clothes. It should be accepted as normal just as a woman wearing pants is accepted as normal. Also Jellybean has a good point in saying that male clothing is so boring, so limited, while womens' clothes have almost infinite varieties. I wouldn't like to be a man and having to wear the same kind of suit and shirt day after day!
Again, thanks for a great blog! And happy new year!
Since you posed the question about fantasies "should you ever act upon them?", I feel the need to ask you a question regarding that.
Since your fantasy was to have a strong man take you in his arms and make wild love to you, should you or would you ever act upon that? It is in fact a fantasy just as John's crossdressing started as a fantasy. Should you not have the pleasure of living yours out as well?
I guess the answer may rely on what one thinks as going too far. For me, my only hard limit on fulfilling my wife's fantasies is that she doesn't leave me and that nobody receives any physical harm. Anything else for my wife is fair game.
Men look very silly wearing womens clothes. Unless they go all out and apply the makeup and wear a wig. Not disguising the fact that you are a man and wearing heels and a skirt makes you appear quite odd. Keep that stuff at home between the two of you. But it would make a great punishment for a wife to threaten (and carry out) to her husband. Misbehave and you go shopping in a dress. That will get almost all husbands in perfect behavior.
I used to go to a bar where crossdressers used to turn up with dominant women. They were a total turn off and looked ridiculous. One of them even started hitting on me which was hilarious. My wife complained about them using the women's toilets and said that they should get their bits removed first to earn the right.
One of these dommes in leather once tried to intimidate me into following her but my wife saw this and shouted "Simon, get your ass over here now". The domme was speechless as she did not even have that sort of control over her sissies.
Dear Mistress Kathy,
This news about John going out dressed up came like a bolt out of the blue. How did your attitude come to change to allow this? It had always been clear that John wanted women's clothing but you were so opposed. This is a sea change in attitude on your part.
If John is still so concerned about people finding out, how does he dare to do this-even in a metropolitan area?
Just out of curiosity, did you finally have John fitted for a bra?
The conversation with Becky was predictable. She saw, she liked, she does-like mother, like daughter-but without Mom's angst and second thoughts. She doesn't ask about a relationship issue vis a vis spouses, but rather asks how do you explain to others. If John thinks that Becky doesn't know that Dad is pantied by Mom, then he is sadly mistaken. That woman is no fool.
Simon certainly seems to be under thumb of every woman in his life. I would be curious as to what the relationship is to the three daughters, who are perhaps adults. Is he submissive to them? I maintain that it is logical for a submissive man to become submissive to assertive female children-by their late teens or certainly as adults. If encouraged at all, the females will take control, just as Becky did of John when left in charge.
I enjoy the blog. It's obvious that there have been some issues and changes lately. I hope things have improved on the "back talk" front, and am curious as to whether your attitude toward punishment has changed as much as your attitude on John's cross-dressing.
Anonymous said. Simon certainly seems to be under thumb of every woman in his life. I would be curious as to what the relationship is to the three daughters, who are perhaps adults. Is he submissive to them?
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No - I am not submissive to my daughters who are all in their 20's in the sense you mean. My wife's word is the law in our house and I obey her first and foremost. Last night I was serving my wife some Champagne and she told me to top up our daughters' wine when called upon.
My daughters did not tell me to do this, they were served by me on behalf on my wife. After a while, I asked to be dismissed so I could go into my garden sauna where I drink beer and listen to sports, as sports TV is banned in our house. The TV channels are always on women's' fashion, make up and jewellry shows.
Now and again I will pop into the house to see if they need any more drinks bringing into the house. After I come out of the sauna, I will kneel at my wife's feet and apply almond oil to them. I will then give her a footrub in front of our daughters while they all watch TV together.
I will totally focus on my wife's feet and listen for any commands, such as "now the other foot", "the heel", "the toes" etc. My whole world for 30 minutes or so is her feet. Sometimes I will apply nail varnish to her toenails and blow it dry.
After she has been satisfied I will kiss both feet and she will send me to bed.
As for being under the thumb of my wife and female bosses, I don't really see it that way. A man who is under the thumb suggests that he resents answering to female rule and hates being told what to do by women.
I have been long conditioned over 30 years of marriage to accept this as totally normal and natural, I don't feel oppressed at all, but I see myself as a servant to womankind.
My job is to work hard under female supervision to earn money. I provided sperm for our three girls and helped raise them into modern women and I put my wife on a pedestal as my goddess figure in life.
I simply do not know any other lifestyle like my father had, that seems to belong to the dark ages. As my wife always says "women rule now, not men".
For some reason I can't type in the comment bos on the newest post, so I'll post here. The issue was a woman regaedinf housework as not manly.
If my wife ever said that to me, I'd find it illogical, insulting, and exhibiting a total disregard for my needs. My response would be immediate and final.
"Oh. Now I understand what you wwant, so I'll give you that. From now on you'll do all the housework, laundry, cooking, and serving, so I'll be as manly as possible. I'm going to watch the game. Call me when dinner is on the table."
Thanks for the thoughtful post. My hubby and I have been experimenting with our kinky sides and I do enjoy dominating him, I do really enjor dressing him up in something sexy. Luckily he's quite slim so does look good in a nice sexy little short dress and heels.
I like your ideas and think I'll have to try some of these with him. I've taken him shopping for things but he's been dressed male and I've only taken him out dressed once late at night - it was really sexy seeing him in a short little dress makeup and heels so will definitely be doing this again.
thanks for the blog, it's all great reading and gives me lots more food for thought.
http://lockeduphubby.blogspot.com
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