Thank all of you for taking the time to make comments. You are all appreciated for participating in the blog.
A special thank you to Jackie for being a new follower, and for her excellent posting. Please comment often.
We can always use another lady to help keep the boys in line! Besides, in my opinion, you have to love any women who has the pluck to come right out and say she owns a man.
I am not someone who likes to see a man dressed in women's clothing, but got to the point where it doesn't bother me. In the studio we had limited experience. The men were often dressed as a french maid, tinker bell, or in some other ridiculous costume. For the most part the guys didn't wear real women's clothing. We would dress the guys up, tease them, and then parade them around the studio. There were places in the quarter that sold ruffled panties in larger sizes, and we would often have the guys show off their ruffled bottoms. One of the things I remember about the guys is that they loved to have women laugh at them. Not only did the guys want to wear women's things, they wanted to be on display in front of the ladies. I am not sure if this is common with most cross dressers or not, but believe most men need a female audience to make cross dressing fun?
What John had been wanting to do was have an opportunity to wear real women's clothing on the street.
He had been begging for this for quite some time. We decided that it might be a good learning experience for him. Before letting him go out of the house, I made an inspection of his outfits. I wanted him to be modestly dressed, and appropriately dressed for his age. On his outing he purchased a very cute skirt, with an attractive sweater, and some costume jewelry. In a lot of ways having this real experience was good for him. Like femdom, cross dressing was a type of fantasy that had been bottled up. From now on cross dressing opportunities will be given to him as positive reinforcement for good behavior.
Although we have not any any instances of willful disobedience, we have had issues with back talking.
In the recent past John has had trouble accepting some of my decisions. While I am always interested in hearing what John has to say, I make the final decision. I may not always make the right decision, the best decision, but I am always the mistress. In some of our last discussions John has been a bit neglectful of this very basic fact of his life. John is ordinarily a wonderful and loving obedient man. Some things, some changes in his life got the better of him for a while. For a while I questioned whether or not the absence of physical punishment has had a negative affect on him. My girlfriends and I are always at odd on this issue. For the most part they feel that every so often a male needs to feel the sting of the whip to stay the course.
There are few words women like to hear more than I love you from their man. In the same manner I often think that men, every so often, need to hear from his wife that he is owned. When you man is down on the floor in command position, pull up a small stool, grab him by the hair, look him in eye, and say something like you are mine, you best do as told. A strong verbal message like this gives a man the comfort of knowing his wife is still the authority person in his life. John loves to be told that he is a slave, he is property, my property! It my mind firmly telling a male the facts of life every so often may may make him think twice before testing your authority, or allowing his ego to take control of a situation.
As far as I can tell there is nothing illegal in most places concerning a women wearing men's clothing, or a man wearing women's clothing. Of course, where John and I live, things are a little more liberal than they are in many parts of the United States. On one of those trips to New Your, I remember seeing the man playing guitar wearing only underwear in the middle of Time Square. It was disgusting. I thought if he isn't arrested, how could they ever arrest a man or women for simply wearing clothing of the opposite sex.
I don't want this blog to become about cross dressing, but it is an interesting topic. I appreciated the comment from Dowlow. From what I understood there was only one time when you went in public dressed in women's clothing. Would you mind telling us a little more about how you felt in those thirty seconds or so it took to walk across the hotel lobby. Was this experience different than dressing up with your group?
Love, Kathy
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18 comments:
I have to admit to being more interested in the post of a week or so back when you mentioned John had been talking back to you more of late.
In the same post you mentioned how Becky had raised the issue of the relationship that you and John have, and you went on to say that John did not wish anyone to know that he was a slave - not even family members.
I am curious as to whether John's talking back was as a direct result of you telling him about your conversation with Becky.
In reading your posts of several years back it is clear, reading between the lines, that whenever you mention your daughter you appear keen to let her know of the Femdom relationship that you and John have - that is how it comes across to me - so did you tell John that you now want Becky to know fully of your relationship?
Or did you tell her anyway?
Is this why John talked backed to you? Is this why you had to not spare the rod?
The cross-dressing is interesting but not as interesting in how the relationship is developing between yourself, between John and the obvious growing awareness of your relationship from your daughter.
She can never become a Femdom without knowing that her Mum is one - can she?
Kathy;
My wife and I discussed your statement where a man needs to feel the sting of the whip to stay the course. My wife feels that for her to whip me would be a reward for me, not a reminder of what will happen if I show bad behavior. She reminded me of the times she whipped and spanked me only to find "her" cock rock hard and leaking pre-cum. "Too much enjoyment, you should hate this, but look at that cock". Of course, as always, she was right. So isn't it more reward than punishment? We are interested to know what you feel about this.
Kathy, thanks for all of your efforts in the past year in creating and writing the best blog out there on WLM and FLR. Best for 2012.
Seems my way of life is pretty vanila to a lot of others on this blog. I am surrounded by women 24/7but nobody needs a whip or chastity device to keep me under control.
All the women in my life need is a voice and they know that I will do as I am told with no backchat or stalling, so why would any of them need a whip?
I would not like being beaten into submission at all. Although I fully accept that I have been broken and trained, I willingly submitted and the day I pledged my obedience to my wife was the most beautiful moment of my life.
I said to her "I will always obey you, Julie". And she said "I know you will".
My submissive, Beth, crossdresses plenty without an audience, but I am positive that part of the appeal for her crossdressing around me is to show off as a sexy and desirable.
I do find that enjoyable so it works and is a big part of our relationship.
As for legality, all the laws that "banned" crossdressing are either off the books or no longer enforced, so there is nothing illegal about it anymore even if it does still carry some social stigma and taboo.
Mistress Aimee
I've always believed that crossdressing was a desire to be feminine, and clothes are just part of that. I was so heavily into it that I took hormones for a while, had my facial hair removed, and cosmetic surgery, about 20 years ago. I am small only a size 8 or 10, and suddenly found out that all strangers thought I was a female, even when dressed as a man and with short hair. It was shocking, and I stipped going out in public dressed. There was no need anymore, since I had truly become feminine. I enjoyed it, but it was really embarrassing at times, hurt my social life and profession, and I could no longer wear men's suits, since my hips were too big, and wouldn't be allowed into mens fitting rooms. Society doesn't care what women wear, so I never got stares. They just assumed I was a woman who didn't carry a purse or wear makeup, so for the past 20 years I've been a female socially to strangers, and I got accustomed to it. It's mainly a matter of being called ma'am, having doors opoened for me, and needing to show an ID wnenever I use a credit card, and also not wearing clothes which are clearly masculine, such as heavy mens dress shoes. That does cause stares, as does using the mens restroom, but otherwise life is the same, except that female sales clerks, waitresses etc tend to start conversations much more often, thinking they are talking to a woman. I'm stuck, since I can't grow a moustache or otherwise make myself look more like a man. I enjoy it, but haven't worn womens clothes out in public for many years, except for tennis shoes, since that's what they always sell me.
Thank you for your welcome,Kathy, but you flatter me too much! The "pluck" you mention happens to exist, or manifest itself, only because I am writing to people like you who understand and approuve submissive-dominant relationships.I would never tell anybody else that I own my husband!
In my post I had put "own" in quotes because, as we all realize, we don't own a man the way we own a dog or a piece of furniture. Our submissive is not our property the way objects are our property: we can't sell him (although it has been done, but more in fiction/fantasy, I suspect, than in fact), we can't exchange or replace him or throw him into the garbage can. Unlike an animal or an object, the submissive has chosen to belong to his mistress, to be her property. Chris is free to put an end to his status as "property" whenever he wants to -- although I am as certain as one can be about anything that he has had no such desire un ten years and never will. And I am pretty sure that the same applies to YOUR property, Kathy!
That said, yes, the male has to be reminded once in a while that he has made a vow of submission and obedience, and strong words like: "You belong to me and you better do as you're told" can and will be efficient most of the time when he seems to forget that he must obey his Mistress and never argue with her. I don't think physical punishment is necessary. To me a recourse to whipping makes me feel that I failed to obtain what I wanted from him when I reminded him of his place and duties.
And then there is also the old problem of the whipping turning out to be a reward rather than a punishment, as ALL HERS reminds us in his post, since many submissives do enjoy being physically "punished". In such cases, depriving them of the punishment becomes their true punishment.
Chris is not a masochist and I know a number of punishments that he intensely fears and that would never bring him any pleasure. I haven't had to use any of them in a long time but he remembers they exist, and he knows that I wouldn't hesitate to inflict him some of them if I felt it necessary.
To come back to crossdressing: Kathy I think that allowing John to wear some women clothes as a reward for good behavior is an excellent idea. And forbidding the clothes in case of bad behavior can be an equally good strategy. Not long ago I told Chris that he could not wear his skirt for a week because he had done something I didn't like. He was very mortified.
What puzzles me is why women don't seem interested in fequiring the husband to be the homemaker, and do all of the housework, laundry, cooking, serving, and other tasks. Many sub males would love this subordinate role.
I can virtually gujarantee that if these women married a rich man who had a cook, maid, gardener, etc., the women would happily settle into the role where all of her needs are met by servants; yet when they have a male who would love to fulfill these roles, the women aren't interested.
It seems odd to me that a womancould expect and enjoy service of all her needs and enjoyments from people who would rather not be serving her, but need the job, and yet reject this type of service from a male who would love it, loves her, and she claims to love him.
This has never made any sense to me.
I think that in many instances where the boy disobeys, he does it intentionally, so he'll be disciplined. I would never do it, not being interested in discipline, but more importantly, it is wholly inconconsistent with the type of relationship which I indicated I wanted. I see a relationship as one which requires almost no commands.The male knows his place and tasks, and should never forgrt them. Commands are for specific things, such as get me a glass of water, or go get my purse for me from the bedroom.Nearly all repetivetasks have already been defined, and there is no excuse for the boy to leave dishes in the sink, or the bed unmade, or the ironing not done, if these have been defined as his responsibility.He can't possibly forget them. He is simply playing games to incur discipline. It would be much more honest simply to ask his mistress to discipline him once a week or whatever, as a natural part of the relationship.
Lots of good points on this post. My wife knows she is in charge and I am reminded every morning when I begin her day with a back and foot massage and then am sent every morning to fetch her coffee and paper. My good behavior is reinforced by eventually being allowed to pleasure her which she knows I love.
A last remark about crossdressing and its paradoxes: is carrying a purse (for a man) considered crossdressing? The question sounds a bit silly, but the answer must be yes, since most ordinary men (I mean men who are not crossdressers)will have nothing to do with carrying a purse. Asked why, they'll say that it's strictly a women accessory (which seems somewhat circular reasoning: we male don't use purses, therefore purses have to be female).
Thinking about it though I must admit that our purse is definitely a signnal of our femininity. I never go out without my purse (everything is in it!) and I never see a woman out without her purse. Interestingly, the huge (and very expensive) handbags that have been in fashion for some years have intensified the femininity of this indispensible accessory. Although those gigantic things are somewhat cumbersome (I have a couple)I feel they give me power, and even protection: a thief can easilt snatch your small purse from you but he'll never try to run away with one of those huge fashionable creations.
My husband Chris likes women's bags and often asked me if he could have one to take with him when shopping. I hesitated a bit then thought "Why not?" We bought him a nice, simple smallish purse and he has been using it every time he goes shopping. It's been several years and no one ever laughed at it or made any nasty remark. Actually a salesgirl once told him "I love your purse," making him blush with pleasure.
I can virtually gujarantee that if these women married a rich man who had a cook, maid, gardener, etc., the women would happily settle into the role where all of her needs are met by servants; yet when they have a male who would love to fulfill these roles, the women aren't interested.
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I think a lot of women see men who do the domestic chores as a) not very manly and b) stepping on the woman's toes making her role "redundant". My wife has never had a problem with me doing the chores, in fact when her mother comes around, she saves up lots of jobs for her to get me to do in front of her mother.
She does this on purpose to show her mother that our marriage is the exact opposite to what hers was. I keep quiet and obey my wife's every order.
My mother in law loves the fact that her daughters rule their houses as she sees it at her getting revenge on males that once treated her badly.
The fact that we males are not like our fathers does not matter to her, we are men and she likes to see the female emerge as triumphant and dominant. She says that she is so glad to have witnessed such a massive turnaround in the "sex war" as she puts it.
Hello Simon,
Love your comments.
I do not want to invade your privacy, but what is life like in the bedroom?
Happy New Year!
a submissive male
Simon,
Your contentuon that wives don't regard homemaking as manly really doesn't make much logical sense, though I afree that many wom en probably feel this way.
However, if this were the case, women wouldn't want any help, since by that perception the guy who pitches in and does 25% of the housework would be regarded as less manly than the lazy lout who does nothing, and a fair inded man who does half the work would be seen as a veritable Tinker Bell by his wife.
We knoe this isn't true, since nearly all modern women think the man should share this work, and they have been complaining about it for decades.
Therefore the work itself is not feminine. It's simply work, which has female connotations solely because of centuries of sexism and discrimination. Women are the ones who have correctly criticized this, so it's quite illogical for them to define it as feminine. How can work not be fveminine when they share it equally, but somehow become feminine when a man does more than the woman? That is totally contradictory and illogical.
If a woman feels he is ursurping her role, whydon't rich women with servants feel ursurped? I don't hang around with such people, but I've never heard of such women spending time helping the maids. The women love having servants and living a life of luxury. Yet when they could provide constant happiness to their husband by living that type of life, they refuse to do so. I find it very illogical and also inconsistent with the idea of making your spouse happy, when the cost to the wife is virtually nothing. I simply don't understand it, given that virtually all women would love to be rich enough to have servants provide her with such a lifestyle.
As for carrying a purse, I would enjoy this to some degree. When I was younger and went out as a female quite often, I found the purse to be quite a hassle mainly when shopping for shoes. Kneeling and stooping causes it to slide off the shoulder and get in the way, so I'd expect to carry my wife's purse any time she was shoe shopping. A guy who wants to carry his own purse is doing it for TG reasons. Ive seen scores of women without purses, and never understood the large purses. All she needs is room for lipstick, a wallet, keys, cell phone, PDA,and perhaps a paperback book/Kindle, and perhaps a steno pad and pen, and for work a pair of pantyhose, if she is not wearing pants, and a compact/mirror. I have no idea what women put in these huge purses. When I would go out as a woman, I found all of this fit into a .fairly small purse, so long as it had no dividers..
I think Simon is absolutely right about the reasons so many women are reluctant to have their husband or boyfriend do domestic chores: it makes those women feel that the man is not very "manly" because traditionally those chores were the woman's responsibility, and most women (at least those -- a majority -- who belong to the so-called "vanilla" group) want their man to be "a real man" (whatever that means), not necessarily a macho type, but a typically masculine male. Simon is equally on the spot when he says that the man who does all or most of the domestic chores makes his wife feel "redundant" -- the male has invaded female territory (and it's hard for her to accept that he can do the job as well as she does; actually she often will be dissatisfied with the way he handles the chores, no matter how hard he tries).
Simon's wife, of course, is among the minority of women like Kathy, myself or most any woman who reads and contributes to this blog. However I'm afraid I cannot quite agree with Simon's wife when she speaks of a "massive turnaround" in the "sex wars." Yes there have been many changes for the better in the status of women in the past fifty years or so, but much more is still to be done. Let's not forget that countless women are raped every day, countless more are abused, beaten by their husbands or boyfriends. Their lifestyle as women seems to exist in a different planet than the one where Simon and his wife, Kathy and John, myself and Chris and others on this blog do live. Obedient, submissive men who worship and respect women unfortunately are the exception rather than the rule. We are very lucky girls to have found such a man, but women still need more of the massive turnaround.
Love your comments.
I do not want to invade your privacy, but what is life like in the bedroom
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It is wonderful.
My wife prefers being on top and will often sit on top of me for 20 minutes or so. She also loves me giving her oral sometimes after I have rubbed her feet. All of this intimacy makes up for the times when she makes my life hell whenever I do something wrong during the day. I am totally bonded and besotted with her and worship her like a goddess as she has so much power over me.
@Jackie.
Yes I agree that too many women still suffer at the hands of male bully. My next door neighbour is a case in point, he will shout at his wife who cowers in fear, but his generation is dying out.
The modern young woman would not stand for such behaviour and when I go to malls and bars, quite often these young women are clearly the dominant partner.
In my life, male dominance is unthinkable and totally unnatural. It is the way of old and is being swept away in my opinion by the unstoppable rise of female power, both in the workplace and at home.
Since all of our managers at work are women, I cannot imagine a world where things are any other way. A male friend of mine said that he would hate my way of life having to answer to women 24/7, but I said that I am completely at ease with it.
It is very simple to me, a woman's voice is to be listened to and instantly obeyed. As long as I do that, my life is very happy and I never get even a face slap that I see a lot of young women give to their menfolk.
Those men will quickly learn that as long as they do as they are told in the future, their women will have no need to slap them down in public anymore.
It will be tough for them to have to learn the hard way, but they WILL learn. I learned very early in my relationship when my wife broke my male ego down and since then, I have had a blissful and happy marriage.
Hello
I am wondering what everyone thinks of this: several years ago I began wearing a larger watch and found I loved it. It made me feel more "in charge" and I also loved the way it accentuated my small wrists. Today I wear a large Michael Kors that I just adore. About a year ago I had an idea if this would not work in reverse; so I bought my hubby a woman's watch for his birthday. Nothing with jewels or hearts, just a small size watch. I could tell he was taken aback but knew better than to say he did not like it. After a bit a a "getting used to" period, where he wouls always try to keep it under his sleeve he has gotten used to it and I love seeing it on him and the power exchange it fosters. It is our way of shoowing the world who is in charge in our marriage.
Ms M
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