The Comments

Once again, thank all you for the comments. One of the things that I love about our country and the western way of life is the freedom. We, as women, are no longer locked away and legally subject to the authority of our husbands. It is fascinating to think that women of my generation may be the very first in history to have the actual power to rule their men.

The comment by 'lost soul' made me laugh, but it also made me think. In my opinion Karen's guy is not very different from most men who have not experienced true female authority and discipline. Of course, her guy is selfish. Of course, he is trying to top from the bottom. This is all typical submissive male behavior. This is where discipline and training come into the relationship.

If a women is going to rule her husband, she needs to establish authority over him. 'Lost soul' suggested some sought of long weekend where the male is required to stay naked, and do menial chores for his lady. While I have never used a 'ball gag' or did many of the things suggested in his email, I do like the concept of putting a man through some sought of initial training program.

When John came home six years ago, he was put through an intensive training program. The kennel was part of it. Although the kennel part of John's training only lasted a few weeks, it had a tremendous impact on his behavior and his outlook on life. It taught him that I was serious about this 'fem/dom' marriage business, and that if our new relationship was going to work, he needed to understand who was the boss.

The kennel used for John was long enough for him to lay comfortably, and sit up in. The entrance door was very small. Having to crawl in and out added to the feeling of humiliation.
One important thing. I never locked John in the kennel. Upon the command 'kennel up' he was expected to crawl into the kennel, take the lock in his hand, and snap it shut. Most of the time I wouldn't even be in the room with him. This demonstrated both his level of obedience and his confidence in me. Once again, John and I had been married for many years.

Some men have a tremendous fear of being locked up. For these men the kennel will not work.
A man should not be forced to do anything he does not want to do. Above all, John locked himself in the kennel because it was what I wanted, what I demanded, and most of all he wanted to please me.

Some of you may think the kennel experience is cruel. What I can tell you is that John would rather spend three hours in the kennel than an hour of corner time. Many of you men that read this blog may not think of corner time as a serious punishment. For those men I say try to spend even fifteen minutes on your knees holding a coin against a wall. Also, remember John's corner time is spent on a hard stone floor, not a soft carpet.

The kennel, corner time, etc are things that have worked for me. I am not the answer lady. I am not recommending any of these things to other women as training tools. Someone asked me if John still is punished. The short answer is yes, but not nearly as much as he was in the early stages of our 'fem/dom' relationship. Men are not stupid. They learn. If you are consistent with your discipline, they learn what it takes to please you. Sure, from time to time a man may test you; he may want to know that you are still his mistress, but once a man settles into his place in a relationship, the need for punishment is relatively rare.

While locked in the kennel there was no books, no radio or television. If it was night the room was dark. The only appliance in the room was a baby monitor. I always wanted John to be able to call for me if there was a real problem. He understood, however, that simply calling mistress because he was tired of being in the kennel was not a good idea.

There is really only one thought I would like to leave for women, like Karen, who are considering a 'fem/dom' relationship with their man. Always remember that most submissive men are loving and caring, and want to please you. Deep down they want to know that you accept who they are, and their gift of submission. They want to know that you enjoy being their mistress. Yes, in simple terms, they want to know that you enjoy 'owning' them, and truly enjoy the authority you have over them.

From time to time I do show John off to a few of my friends. It is not because I want to humiliate him. It is because I am so proud of him. What I have learned is that an obedient, loving, and well trained man is a treasure. In time, with word of mouth, and the Internet, more and more women will come to understand this.

Love, Kathy