For Love of a Man 8

While! I can't believe all the comments triggered by the last posting. There is something about locking a man in a cage that brings out the emotions in people. For any women who wants to, or feels the need to establish a true 'fem/dom' marriage, the kennel is a wonderful tool. From my experience with John, there are other things that can work almost as well, but nothing has quite the same effect as the kennel.



In my opinion the kennel operates on the male mind in several different ways. As I said in the last posting, once inside the kennel the wife has all of the control. A man may beg for release, but he is not getting our until mistress decides it is time. In this way the man becomes accustomed to seeing his mistress/wife as the power person in the relationship. This is the first step in taking the 'fem/dom' relationship beyond the level of a game. Just the idea that the husband understands that the wife can put him in the kennel, with a simple command, adds to the idea that the wife is the one who is in control. The husband quickly learns to respect the authority that the wife has over him.



When a man is first placed in the kennel it is an exciting experience for him. It is much like the first time the wife gives him an over the knee spanking. However, after a few hours in the kennel, it tends to become very boring. Being made to spend the night in the kennel is even worse. The kennel I used for John was modeled after the one used in Tara's studio. It was long enough for a man to lay in, and sit up in. The entrance door was very small, which forced the man to crawl in on his hands and knees. When John slept in the kennel he had two plastic bottles. One for water, and one to pee in. If he was a good boy that day, he would also have had a little foam pad to lay on.



After spending a night in the kennel John was always very happy to be freed. More than anything else, being made to sleep in the kennel, made him feel like a house slave. We had a ritual. Upon being released, he would crawl to through the small opening where I would be standing. He would then kiss my feet and thank me for letting him out. I would then snap a leash on his collar, and walk him to the bath room. It was a very demeaning experience for him. He was, however, learning to be my slave. He was leaning to understand that the orders I gave to him were real. He was learning to understand that I really did want total obedience from him.

In the world today I am sure there are fem/dom groups that debate the use of the kennel, as well as other discipline tools. The use of the kennel is a choice I made. At the same time there are women who will use a whip or cane on their man. As you may know from reading the blog, this is something I have chosen not to do.


Letting John come home was a happy time for me, but it was also a difficult time. If it had been possible to flip a switch, and simply turn off John's need for female domination, I would have done it. There was no question in my mind that I would have been happy to continue our marriage the way it was before finding the panties in his gym bag. The problem, of course, was that John was a very submissive man. In my opinion it was just not a fetish, but the need to submit was an important part of his personality. The only way John could be truly happy in life was to be under the thumb of a strong women.

The kennel was a way to let John know that I had confidence to be both his mistress wife and his dominatrix.


When John and I talked in the coffee shop I was not hesitant about using the slave word. In no uncertain terms I let John know that if he came home he was going to live as my slave. He would not have freedom to come and go, he would have no control over money, he would live in a world of 'may I'. I also told him that as his mistress wife I was prepared to help him live the life of a slave husband. That meant I cared enough to discipline him, and to train him to be the slave husband that I wanted. What he needed to understand was that this was not going to be a game. On some fundamental level I thought this mistress/slave relationship would last a year or so, and then we would slowly gravitate to being a more normal couple. However, the opposite happened. The more John submitted to my authority, the more natural it became for him.

This is not meant as a criticism, but John has the heart of a slave. He enjoys serving, he enjoys pleasing me, and he feels more comfortable taking orders then giving them. He also responds well to discipline. Over a very short time he developed a real sense of fear of me as his mistress. He understands that I can and will punish him when necessary. Except for wanting to jump the fence every once in a while, John has no desire for freedom.

On the other hand, as John became more submissive to me in every day lie, it was easier for me to take on the mistress role. In short time it became very natural for me to give John orders, to direct every phase of his life. When I went out with friends at night it felt natural to confine John to the house. I learned to love the idea that John's primary role in life, aside from work, was to 'wait on' and 'wait for' me. Submissive men like John are wonderfully attentive to the women that own them. Yes, I got hooked on having a man that was always at my 'beck and call'.

Not every submissive man needs to be a slave husband. However, I do think it would be good for society if more men learned to serve their wives in every day life. It would be good for society if more men learned to recognize their wives as head of house. In my opinion a respectful husband is a loving husband.

There are many people who will say that the way I treat John is cruel. The truth is that John is happiest as a slave husband. This is may not be true for all submissive men, but it is for little guy.

Love, Kathy