For Love of a Man 7 'A Special Purchase'

As I walked out of the coffee shop, I knew it was time to let John come home. If you have been reading the blog, you know that we had a difficult, but very frank conversation. While most of the feelings of anger had passed, I still felt a very real sense of hurt and betrayal. At lest by now I did know enough about dominance, submission, and things in between that I could have an intelligent conversation with John.



Yes, from talking with Tara, my new friend Liz, and the men in the studio; I had a very good sense of what John needed to be content with life. He needed a wife that would dominate him, and at times become his dominatrix. This meant major changes in the way John and I related to each other. In the coffee shop I told him that he would be something of a slave husband. I told him that if he came home I expected total obedience. He would have no control over money and very little personal freedom. I simply asked him if he could live this way on an ongoing basis. Without a second thought he answered 'yes mistress.' That was the first time he called me mistress.



When he finished speaking I told him that I didn't want his answer today. I told him to think about it over the next week, and meet me back in the coffee shop the following weekend. I told him that if he wanted to live as a slave husband, and if I felt he was sincere, he could come home with me the following Saturday. The smile on John's face left me with absolutely no doubt that he was willing to become my slave. Deep down, that is what he had always wanted.



While I was ready to let John back into the house, I was not ready to let him back into my bed.
In the studio we often used a kennel as a training tool, or as simply a place to put a man when you needed to get him out of the way. It was a very powerful training tool. In the studio the man always has superior physical strength over the dominatrix that is handling him. However, once locked inside the kennel, the female holds all of the power, and the male has none. Any authority he may have due to his physical strength is lost once inside the locked kennel.

Aside from the loss of any type of power, being locked in the kennel comes with an acute sense of humiliation. It was during my first week working with Tara that she suggested locking me in the kennel. She told me that the kennel was a very strong experience for the guys, and the only way I could really understand it was to spend just a little time locked in the cage. Before I knew what was happening, I found my self crawling into the small opening, and watching Tara press the lock closed. She then left me along in the room. I have never felt so helpless in all of my life. I thought what if she doesn't come back. There was no way I could ever free my self from the inside.

It was also humiliating to be down on my hands and knees waiting for rescue. Tara checked on me once during the hour or so I was in the kennel. Instead of letting me out her, she sent her husband in with the key. Having a man see me locked in the kennel only added to my feeling of total humiliation. He stood just behind the kennel watching my 'rear end' as I crawled out of the little door on my hands and knees. I thought it must be such a nice treat for him to watch. Tara then asked him he he enjoyed watching we crawl out. As he answered, 'yes mistress', she just laughed. She then sent him from the room. We talked. She asked me how I felt about the experience. I told her it was the most humiliating experience of my life. The experience did help me understand the value of a kennel as training tool, and as a punishment tool for the male.



One of things that I made John understand was that our 'fem/dom' relationship was going to be real. It was not going to be a game. As part of this John was going to be sleeping in a kennel, not in a bed with mistress. Upon coming home the second command John learned to obey was 'kennel up'. Upon receiving this command he was to immediately walk to the kennel, crawl in, and snap the lock closed. He understood that spending time locked in a kennel was just a part of being a slave husband. It was never for him to understand why mistress wanted him in the kennel, it was just for him to obey when commanded. Love, Mistress Kathy